Bargain Hunt

I like that sandwich box, it's unusual, but wonder if peeps will be put off by it being silver-plated.

 

Papa Smurf taking the auction today. Could go either way with most items.

 

Topical! "The chinese threat..."

Trangressor channels Trump.

 

Very bearded Transgressor.

You have to be very careful, he hisses, in case you get caught.

A lot of money for a quality item, as he procures more victims for the Saudi Harem.

Lovely interior, but it will be difficult.

Christie is a fan of Hands on Bust items.

Dave Moorcroft estimates on the bowl.

That sodding feathered hat.

Lovely thing. I'll do 80 (victims) later.

Reds: the glass Marin loses 1, Anti-GG on, lovely thing, surely, all those hopeful words, surely not, that Mug loses 79. It's dead like most of the things he touches. Fire Dogs make a profit of 2.

I really rates these, kills the Auction bidding. Top Class work.

Dave's BB is a 1923 Mapin & Webb silver horn, snigger (70), 80-120, so that means it will sell for 50. Let's see, blimey it makes a profit. 90, so 20 profit.

Reds: -58

Good score that, lies The Squeak.

Blues now: the box loses 59, ouch, superb Auction work, who's going to start me, his glasses steam up, the hip flask and sandwich box loses 10, surely not a Trilly Anti-GG!!!!

Moorcroft bowl starts at 25 and dies at 30, loses 12. Fark me a Trilly Anti-GG.

Her BB is a silver Peter Piper (19), 20-30 a canny buy, straight in at 20, so Grand Slam avoided, 40. 21 profit.

Blues: -60

Very close contest in the race to the bottom.

Terrible moribund (just the way he likes them, stiff and lifeless) Transgressor Auction.

Dave celebrates like he's procured a new inductee to his Hall of Sweep Pain Fame.

 

All the Blues' lots are desirable. Rare one can say that.

Hahaha mug mugged off. Think we all saw that coming. Was hanging over the Reds like a heavy wet dingleberry

 

Reds lady is called Sinita? Her partner isn't so macho

 

Failing to make a profit on a 5 quid purchase. That's tough.

 

It's a blood bath. Estimates out the window.

 

I was wondering when one of us would bite on that

 

Aye. Injustices abounded...but an exciting contest.

 

This has only been on once before, Oct 2023, obviously the Beeb trying to minimise future PTSD claims from over-exposure to The Squeak ......

From the previous episode:

Reg:
Looks like Hanson is trying to fire one out.



Ghost of Barry Endean:
Can I post here about the hideous aberration that is The Vintage French Farmhouse or should I start another thread?

Full of utter cahunts buying French tat and failing to sell it, while displaying quite staggering levels of ignorance. The *****er with the neck tattoo and the black guy with cemetery teeth are particularly egregious. Even the voiceover, Nigel Havers, is a ****. Today they are in Pezenas, (pronounced Pezenas, not "Pezenah" Havers) where, according to one of the dolts, the 'French Shakespeare' "Mollinaire" lived.

6 minutes of actual content stretched over half an hour by the cunning device of getting self obsessed ***kwits to talk gibberish.

OT78:
You will doubtless be pleased to know that it got a bit of a kicking on Points Of View today: "a shambles" and "would rather watch the test card" were amongst the comments.

Reg:
The Squeak with a load of Squeaky leather.

He can't decide whether to use a Lancs or West Country accent.

Bametastic contestants today, 3 out of 4. The Diversity ratio gets a boost.

Blues find a pot to piss in.

Derbys in the Midlands you tool DayGlo so meets the challenge.

Sodding coat hooks. Binware.

Wedgwood, get in.

DayGlo doesn't really know what's hot there.

These teams are hard work. They're going to end up with some total crap.

DayGlo directing them towards disaster.

Three figure loss incoming.

Why would you sell an item for no profit. Because you are getting a Prod Company sub.

George the Third toilet to put the items into.

Does it move, squeak.

Wig bellows LOL.

Oh dear the 6 pound item makes a loss. Haha.

The mug, disaster. LOL.

Another near death Auction. Terrible.

Awful teams, awful presenter, awful Auction.

There's plenty of Fish Fingers at the Auction House.



A toilet form George IIIs household and this Powder wig bellows sex toy has Helium Boy squeaking in ecstasy.





Phwoar!!!! The next episode.

 

Re-up from October 2023 with additions.
BBC approved preamble:
Naseby 20
Series 66
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001rsrt
A sedan chair from the 1750s and a leather pigeon harness used to carry blood samples are among an intriguing collection that Danny Sebastian explores in Northamptonshire. Danny Sebastian puts his best foot forward on the show when he visits Northamptonshire, a county with a long reputation for creating high-quality footwear. At the Museum of Leathercraft in Northampton, he delves into their collection of 10,000 items from around the world, from 3,000 years ago to the present day. Curator James Hawksley shows Danny a sedan chair from the 1750s, a leather pigeon harness used to carry blood samples and two leather jugs called bombards because of their resemblance to the old bombard cannon. James even turns the table on Danny and reveals a mystery object for him to guess. Across the county, two teams do battle in the historic village of Naseby. Expert David Harper heads up the red team, husband and wife Matt and Sunita, while the blues – father and son Surinder and Sukhip – are guided by Kate Bliss. After a speedy start, the reds seem very relaxed… Can David focus their attention and help them to start spending? Over with the blues, a reproduction GR post box catches Surinder’s attention, but Kate isn’t convinced that it will deliver a profit. In Stratford-upon-Avon, Danny asks auctioneer Mark Ashley for his estimates on the teams’ purchases but, as always, it comes down to how deep the bidders’ pockets are.

The Translation:
Knackered sedan chairs and a leather purple pigeon harness, a jockstrap to you and me, are the order of the day as Danny Atomic Number 2 is Naseby's punishment for being a Royalist stronghold during the English Civil War. He's joined by Roundhead Trilly Bliss wearing her tight New Model Army tunic top signed across the cleavage by Slade The Leveller, and Cavalier, not just with the 300 pounds, Lord DayGlo Clottingham, Pervemeister Pursuivant, Master of purchasing some of the crappiest items in the whole of Christendom. The Squeak sheds a tear in sheer pride. It's another Ghaasssssstly Asssshllleeeeeyyyy Auction, where the life will be slowly suffocated out of any profits followed by removal of undergarments from all parties, a panty departying.

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Danny Smoke Alarm Sebastapol Sebastian, glass shatters along with any hopes
[Red Team Expert] DayGlo David Harper, the 'Boro' Bano, the Peterlee Penisaurus
[Blue Team Expert] Kate Shrilly Trilly Bliss, straight from her AmDram Production of Titus Dressicus
[Auctioneer] Mark Christie Assssshhhhley, his Auctions are a gassssss. Child-friendly too.
[Auction Location] Bigwood Fine Art Auctioneers, Stratford-upon-Avon
[Miserlin Rating] Unlisted

Jab, Squeak, Jab, Squeak, Jab!!!

​

The Teams:
[Red Team] Married Catering manager Hubby and Portfolio Officer Wifey (BAME box ticked).
(Challenge: Connection to the Midlands)
[Blue Team] Financal director Father and Retail Business owner aka A Shop, Son (Double BAME boxes ticked).
(Challenge: With a lock)

The Shopping:
Reds: Murano-style Marlin studio glass figure (6) well bought, Royal Worcester christening tankard (139 Challenge) alot of money, Pair of Arts & Crafts Fire dogs (43) bought very well.
Blues: Victorian walnut writing box (109 Challenge) ouch, London Silver Captain Hans Busk hip flask and silver-plated sandwich box (110) good, Moorcroft Pedestal bowl (42) OK.

Wonderous Wedgwood​

​

The Distraction:
Fittingly, The Squeak visits the Museum of Leathercraft in Northampton for a full-on Squeaky Leather experience which includes: A Fingers down the Blackboard scraper, discarded shopping trolley wheels, a collection of worn door hinges, a set of binned beginners recorders, and disgarded school orchestra violins. He also makes an attempt to win the Dumb and Dumber Most Annoying Sound In The World Award when he squeaks the song, Hi, ho silver lining, and blows the electronics on the recording gear.

The Transgressor's Latest Victim Uncovered

​

The Auction:
Reds: Murano-style Marlin studio glass figure (1 loss), Royal Worcester christening tankard (79 loss), Pair of Arts & Crafts Fire dogs (2 profit).
DayGlo's BB is a Mappin & Webb silver horn (70), 80-120 a little bargain says Christie, 90. It makes a 20 quid profit for Pervy D. Pigs fly over Middlesbrough.

​

Blues: Victorian walnut writing box (59 loss), London Silver Captain Hans Busk hip flask and silver-plated sandwich box (10 loss), Moorcroft Pedestal bowl (12 loss). A Triple Crown of losses. An Anti-Golden Gavel for Trilly. More Pigs fly over Middlesbrough.
Trilly's BB is a 1990s silver Peter Piper salt mine (19), 20-30, 40. Makes a decent 21 GBP profit. Nice work Trills.

​

The Aftermath:
Outdoor antiques fair. 2 over-fussy teams who take ages to get their spending going. Never a good sign. Does it excite you, asks DayGlo over some pot lids which will probably make a profit. No they say, as they turn down easy money. He will return to the items later to cover them with excitement. It's an Asssshhhhhleeey Chrrriiiiiistie Auction. Limp and lifeless, the way he likes them. His full beard, inspired by the 20th Century Captain Birdseye adverts, should be classified as a fire hazard so those Fire Dogs should be kept well away. He has the touch of Rasputin, and just like the mad Russian he has no idea how to sell a christening tankard, Russian Orthodox or not. The PerveMaster, who has been a disaster with the Blue Teams in his last 2 visits, is given the Red Team to toy with this time, to see if this will spark a change in fortune. The answer is a resounding No, but at least it's not a 3-figure loss. Things start off badly with a 6 GBP glass figurine that only sells for a fiver. The christening tankard, which he strong arms his team to buy, literally tanks, but the Fire Dogs, which Gashley loves, sort of stops the rot with a massive 2 note profit. His silver horn, the BB not his excitement, hits the Teeside jackpot with a 20 quid profit, enough for a pipe of crack and a chip butty. The overall 58 note loss is the stuff dreams are made out of, well for him they are. Trilly had a very dithery Blue Team who took an age to make the purchases, so much so, they had to rush to buy the Moorcroft Pedestal bowl (Pederast bowl in the hands of the transgressor). Everything makes a loss including a large one for the writing desk. However, she shows her worth with an excellent BB which claws back 21 notes and they end up with a 60 note loss, giving DayGlo a pyrrhic victory. Despite many things being terrible, including another Asssshleeeyyy Death's Door Misers Auction, it was still an entertaining episode, if you removed the parts with The Squeak and laughed at the the hapless DayGlo. LOL.

BH Skip Sifters Needs You!!!!

​

The Hi-Kick:
Standard outdoor kick on grass in the bright sunshine in someone's garden. The Squeak, dressed like a statue mime, gives us his standard aerial splits Hi-crotch kick, and everyone else makes par or better, with superb coordination. An outstanding effort, Yes, YES!!

​

 

Jabber da 'Hunt'

 

The Trangressor also loves battering what he catches.

 

that does sound like a popular 1970s competition...
' ..and now, lifting the 1973 Pederast Bowl, Mr Gary Glitter...'

 

I'm off to my Sister's Family to see them and my Mum, who's in a Home nearby, for the Easter break. I'd like to wish you all a Fab Easter, don't overindulge on the eggs, and I'll speak to you all next week when I'm back. Cheers.

 

safe travels @reg_varney, and have a lovely Easter break too.

 

Am off tonight too. Happy hols to you all.

 

Reds:
Scandinavian bracelet - should be good
Sailing boat - should be OK
Silver jug - also ok

Golden gavel?

Blues:
Chinese vase - crap, but Not too expensive
Plant stand - crap, but again, not too much
Tree trunk - crap and expensive

Possible anti-GG? Probably just an overall loss though.

 

We're in Norfolk. Oof. Liz gonna have to work her miserly hoard pretty hard to get profits.

 

Anderson bracelet does well. 20 quid profit.

Cream jug also does well. Unlucky with the boat. Overall profit but no GG.

Bonus buy time. Ugh. Sample from Caroline. Just say no reds.

 

Someone's school sewing paid 30 quid. Should be OK but I just dont see the point.

 

Red woman is so loud I can't hear the auction

 

Wipes its face. Pointless.

 

Flipping heck! Vase goes mental! 140!

I did not see that coming. Nobody else did either I don't think, even Sarcy who picked it!

 

Tree trunk lost 20. Not terrible.

Blues have won thanks to vase.

Bb is a scandi, glass horse from Sarcy Marky. Paid 18 quid. Hard to see it losing money.

 

Horse doesn't get going! Loses a tenner.

That's a near perfect day of wrong predictions for me!

 

Good Friday:

Two big spending teams, could be bad, but theyre in Bourne End, could get out of jail
Reds:
Whitefriars molar vase - fine
Blue vases - big risk
Sake set - could fly. Could die. Will be very interesting

Blues:

Cat - fine
Puppet- paid too much
Spoons - also too pricey

This could go either way

 

Reds big spends both come close. Big risks but didn't hurt too much.

Nick's BB is a flag brooch. I missed what he spent. Trusting Nick i suspect it will do well.

Only paid 12 quid. Guaranteed profit.

 

Bb takes them into profit. Well done Nick.

 

Blues up now. Think they will lose on the spoons and the puppet, though the spoons are Andersen silver so might fly in Bourne End for the posho coffee gentlefolk

 

Their cat does well, puppet wipes it out.

Now spoons.

Spoons are going and make a tenner! Wow!

The butch haircut blues celebrate.

 

Of course he spent 12 quid. Just remembered that's all he had.

 

Steph's BB is a bureau. Not in vogue.
Paid 49. It's on the margins. Could go either way.

 

X