1. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Daddy owns highbrow establishment. I think she is.

    https://www.chilcottsauctions.co.uk/team/

    Mary Chilcott

    upload_2025-4-15_13-18-2.png

    Auctioneer; Valuer & Cataloguer - Ceramics & Glass

    Mary values and catalogues ceramics and glass. Mary's knowledge has been gained over several years of working with Duncan, and visiting museums and exhibitions; recently she viewed the 'Henry Sandon Study Collection' at Chorleys. She has a passion for studio pottery, with a special interest in works by Waistel Cooper. Taking to the rostrum aged at just eighteen, Mary's top lot, so far, has been 'The Menagerie Clock', a Doulton Lambeth clock-mount by George Tinworth, which she catalogued and then sold for £9,200. In 2022 Mary appeared as the specialist and auctioneer on Bargain Hunt, filming four episodes with Natasha Raskin Sharp. Outside work, Mary is studying for a Degree in History of Art at The University of Bristol; she loves live music, cider, walking on Exmoor and historic buildings.



    Wastrel Cooper, he's certainly one of those.

    upload_2025-4-15_13-19-48.jpeg
     
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2025
  2. TIMMY WANNACOTT

    TIMMY WANNACOTT Reservist

    D'ya know, I don't think it is/was on the cards... time for an updated issue I think.
     
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  3. TIMMY WANNACOTT

    TIMMY WANNACOTT Reservist

    Fab - u - lous! not that Revel-horwood would be the least bit interested.
     
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  4. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    I don't think Mary comes across that posh. John Cameron owns John Cameron auctioneers. He's not blue blooded.
     
  5. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    Made me laugh when Danny was off to buy the BB and said 'these men love quality.' I expected him to follow it up with something like 'But I'm gonna buy them a piece of repurposed old tat instead.'
     
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  6. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    We've been punished by Mumbling Mary before in this episode twice before in Aug 2022 and Jan last year, I'll try and be as clear as possible to redress the balance ....

    Timmy:
    as promised, in an effort to balance out the swooning ratios, a cropped pic from the article Reg shared a few pages ago.. looks mighty fine to me...

    [​IMG]

    Reg:
    Oh no. Mumbling Mary again. Howls of derision.

    Two instances of tongue already. Must be a record except when it's Christina.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    Bingo and Squeak with Strictly Tash.

    The helpful Antiques Centre Managers here. Always generous with their discounts.

    The Squeak says Islamic very squeakily. Allah will not be pleased.

    The thick twins are forming the Blue Team today. People have that sort of thing (enormous ice-cream sign) on their homes these days. No, they don't.

    The shield used to slay Medusa. Now, where's Foghorn Hawley?

    [​IMG]

    Another creamer for you @wfcmoog It's very rich, like the copious cream. Another very generous discount on it.

    [​IMG]

    Poor Bingo. Being dragged down by the Thick Twins. No, not in that way.

    We do like a lovely Italian bust. Oh yes.

    He needs a cuppa.

    Reds are going to be sunk by those big spending animal feeders and the creamer. Typical Squeak buy the scrap.

    Danny loves a bit of salvage says Tash.

    She means Danny loves to rummage in the bins like a Squeaky Rat.

    Ice-cream sign and Terracotta bust will bust the Blues.

    Remember, it's Mumble mumble mumble Mumbling Mary mumble mumble.

    Donald Neilson doesn't conjure up images of comforting ice-cream with some strange new flavours in the Canny & Ball range.

    Tash is going to help breathe new life into some old objects.

    Tash prepares to meet Jericho Hawley later on.

    [​IMG]

    Oh dear Mumbling Mary and Tash DQ the creamer. Altered item (different base added) and the hallmarks don't represent the finished product.

    Christina has this effect on us!!!

    [​IMG]

    Oh, dear the Auction starts.

    Mumble mumble 25. Mumble 8 note profit. Mumble thump.

    Mumble mumble troughs. Squeak come on. Mumble 90 mumble 90 90 mumble. Loss of 17. Mumble thump.

    Altered jug. The Squeak overlooked crucial alterations.

    BB time. A Majolica vase/jug. Very corny. Arf. 30 notes for a skip-rescued jug.

    Mumble mumble it's fun mumble.

    Mumble mumble 35. Mumble 5 note profit. Mumble thump.

    Reds -4 notes.

    Mumble mumble. 12 note profit on the glass for the Blues.

    Mumble mumble drone. Donald Neilson makes a loss.

    The bust doesn't quite bust it wipes it's mumble face.

    Art Deco mantel clock garniture 100.

    Mumbling Mary hates it. 20-30. Obviously not trendy enough for her.

    Mumble mumble 25 mumble all done. Mumble thump.

    Bingo Bonkers Nargain Buy.

    Blues -89

    Mumbling Mary, underselling yet again. Another dreadful Auction from Daddy's Little Auction Girl.

    Tash's eyes lit up when an item fell foul of the Hallmark Act. She loves a full-on DQing.

    Alien invaders start the Earth colonisation starting with Auction Houses in the South-West. Will anyone actually notice. Mumble mumble shreik mumble mumble. The Tories promise to the stop the Aliens in their small UFOs.

    [​IMG]

    https://www.asciiart.eu/image-to-ascii

    Mumbling Mary - Mumble You're Mumble Fired Mumble

    [​IMG][​IMG]

    OT78:
    Very comforting regular themes today:

    Bodysnatchers pointing.
    Presenter tongues.
    Tash growler kick.
    Moog's cream jugs.
    Slagging Foghorn & Squeak.
    Christina linked to phallic imagery.

    All is well in our world, and there is still honey for tea.

    Reg:
    Provided by resident BH Apiarist Dizzie and her generous honey pot.

    [​IMG]

    From August 2022:
    Reg:

    Only a few comments this time. Mumbling Mary has the effect of sucking all the life out of any situation.

    Keighley's favourite, Mumbling Mary, was underselling yet again. Another dreadful Auction. Natasha's eyes lit up when an item fell foul of the Hallmark Act. She loves a full-on DQing.

    Moog:
    OK, skimmed that, saw mumbling mary and a DQ so didn't read any further. Iplayer for me this evening with some beers and some popcorn!

    Guy:
    That Mary is pretty awful, you do wonder sometimes how people get certain jobs....family connections in the trade ?

    Comment: Yup, both Mum and Dad run the place.
    https://www.chilcottsauctions.co.uk/team/
    Elizabeth Chilcott appointed to Society of Fine Art Auctioneers. Mummy is on the up too. Posh sounding Sebastian Morey-Weale is their Computer Technical Support.
     
  7. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Pater reveals:
    Duncan gained his expertise during a career which started in 1978 at the top London Auction Houses: Christies, Phillips and Bonhams. Appointed as Managing Director of Bonhams West Country in 1991.

    Not definitive proof but it does infer Port Out.

    Also, you don't give a 19 year old, formerly from the local comprehensive, a slot on daytime Telly attempting to do an Auction.
     
  8. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    I suppose it's all relative. I'm quite posh and my kids are quite well spoken, so she seems common as muck to me.
     
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  9. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Re-up from January 2024 and Re-Re-up from Aug 2022 with some additions.
    BBC approved preamble:
    Hele 14
    Series 62
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001b15v
    Natasha Raskin Sharp and the teams search for antiques in Hele, near Exeter, with experts Danny Sebastian and John Cameron before heading to Honiton for today’s auction. Natasha learns about steam engine restoration.

    The Translation:
    Go straight to Hele/Hell and meet Demon rule enforcer Strict Natasha and her fellow imps, The Squeak who will torment you with his vocal squeaksonics for all eternity, and Marine Bingo Boy, who will eternally bore you showing off his nautical collection. For Auctioneer, we have Junior Demon Mumbling Mary Chilcott will you know, like, know the price of everything yet the value of nothing. Mumble mumble. Have I done alright Mummy and Daddy? Obviously not, as that Auction Room is never seen again after this series even when they visit that same friendly Antiques Centre in more recent episodes.

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Strict Natasha Raskin Sharp
    [Red Team Expert] Danny Dogwhistle and Squeaky Toy Sebastian, he of the aged and distressed voice
    [Blue Team Expert] John Marine Boy Cameron
    [Auctioneer] Posh Mumbling Mary Chilcott
    [Auction Location] Chilcotts, Honiton
    [Miserlin Rating] One Star

    [​IMG][​IMG]
    CoyWinka.gif

    The Teams:
    [Red Team] Male friends, farmer and vet, useful combo.
    (Challenge: Brass)
    [Blue Team] Sisters, with witch-style hair, hubble, bubble spoil and haggle.
    (Challenge: Model or sculpture)

    The Shopping:
    Reds: Hammered brass charger (17 Challenge) OK, Cast-iron animal feeding troughs, a squeak tat special (107) could struggle, Victorian silver cream jug (125), spout, foot and handle altered, oh dear the hallmark is illegal as it's been altered, Natasha DQs it. Falls foul of the Hallmark act. Her eyes light up.
    Blues: Edwardian 4-piece silver and glass cruet set (20) OK, Large vintage metal ice-cream sign (54) might struggle, Italian terracotta bust (75) overpaid.

    The Distraction:
    Strict Natasha learns about steam engine restoration. She ticks off the restorers for some painting infringements and sends them to Hell for eternity to endure minor rule breach torment.

    [​IMG]

    The Auction:
    Reds: Hammered brass charger (8 profit), Cast-iron animal feeding troughs (17 loss), Victorian silver cream jug (void), they decide to treat it as a break even item.
    Squeaky's BB is an early-20th century Majolica corn-on the cob embossed vase to match his corn-on-the cob brain (30), it's a mumble, mumble, Majolica jug, 20-30, 35, she mumbles her way to a sale in full ventriloquist apprentice mode. It Squeaks a fiver profit.

    Reds.jpg

    Blues: Edwardian 4-piece silver and glass cruet set (12 profit), Large vintage metal ice-cream sign (26 loss), Italian terracotta bust (evens stevens).
    Marine Boy's BB is an Art Deco mantel clock garniture (100), 20-30, Jesus that's low, 25. 75 quid loss!!! A dead weight which will drop to the ocean floor.

    Blues.jpg

    The Aftermath:
    Tash with a twinkle in her eye directs proceedings from Ian and Clive's Gift Shop. Jovial Red Team and Dim Blue Team are today's truffling contestants. The Squeak and Bingo are the one's on-hand to help. A literally rivetting Distraction. Awful Mubling Mary Auction. Whoever had the bright idea to put a Posh 19-tear old with a charisma bypass on our screens should be on cleaning bin chores for a month. She's terrible and we get the default Deadpan reading of the Auction screen. We also had a DQ. On this occasion, the Squeak failed to take more than cursory glances on a hallmarked silver creamer which had been subsequently and significantly altered, given a new base. Basically, it need to be re-hallmarked to be legally sold. No doubt Dustbin Dan will be off to meet his bin mates later to swap it for some real tat such as the usual mouldy apple crates or the odd (very odd) dentist light, or Boris Karloff's cousin's jockstrap from a failed Frankenstein remake. As expected, Natasha issued the Red card with gusto while Mary muttered and murmured her way to a vague explanation. Mumbling Mary and her under-valuing contribute to a yet another under-performing auction. The mumbled underselling was pretty dreadful and was a significant contributing factor. No peaks today, just troughs with the Dan-tat-tastic feeding troughs. 2 small profits for the Reds help them to a small loss of 4 notes. Bingo's Blues had significant losses on the ice-cream sign and the overpriced Art Deco clock garniture not helped by Mary's very underwhelming auctioneering as she helps drag them to a 89 GBP loss. Definitely, entertaining enough for a view but not a keeper.

    [​IMG][​IMG]
    TashLarfa.gif

    The Hi-Kick:
    Indoor Covid diagonal. Strict Natasha gives us her usual fantastic Growler kick. One of the Reds and Blues below par or too slow. Squeakadelic gives us his nasty sweaty armpit. Nice. Thankfully, the crutch shot is cut off. Small mercies and all that. Yes, YES!!

    [​IMG]
    HiKickTash.gif
    HiKickTasha.gif HiKickTashSlow.gif
     
  10. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Nesbits. You've seen the shop front, it looks like a cross between an Estate/Travel Agents.

    https://nesbitsauctions.co.uk/nesbits-auctions/

    No double-barrelled IT specialists here. Mind, looks like one of the family clan may be working in the shop, so to speak.

    Most of the Experts have their own businesses and most are not Posh but some are, and some are Posher than Posh, take a step forward, Tragicooper.
     
  11. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

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  12. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

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  13. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

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  14. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Can you quantify this? On a scale of between 0 (=Harry Redknapp) and 10 (=Jacob Rees-Mogg).

    Perhaps we can add a few sub-groups:

    Speech e.g. Rind instead of Round, dropping your t's, grunting instead of diction.

    Action e.g. Raising your little finger when drinking a cup of tea. Silently dropping your guts and blaming it on the servant/Corgi/cleaner/missus. Openly sneezing on your hand and then wiping it on the curtains. Doing the same with your coq after sexual congress.

    Thought e.g. Getting a massive hard-on when the 3-day Eventing is on, Tutting at the state of the Greengrocers dirty fingernails, Daydreaming about a Roman orgy involving the cast of Eastenders

    Decor: Having a Bidet in the Water Closet, an oak wood toilet seat, Outside lav with a top flushing cistern, An Asda Carrier bag.
     
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  15. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    In the Group I'm working in, we used to have a PhD student who sounded very posh. Her Dad was a Financial Adviser who had been to a minor Public School, which he loathed, so was determined his kids went to the local state school. Of all the UK PhD students who were on the Campus at that time, around 13 at the time, she was the only one who had been to a non-selective, state school. My point being, you can be well-spoken and eloquent without being Posh. A student mate of mine was the same. Very well-spoken, well-behaved, and came from a one-parent family on Moss Side in Manchester. The complete opposite is true too. Step forward, Guy Ritchie.
     
  16. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot


    I'd say I'm actually a 6. I don't drop my ts, except when I've got tradesmen in and I'm showing them what a thorough bloke I am, a la Partridge.
     
  17. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    well, he is from Birmingham
     
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  18. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    Snigger snigger. We see you.o_O
     
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  19. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    :D
    I do this too, unless they seem potentially troublesome/shirkers, in which case I go the other way and attempt to exert patrician authority via excessively emphatic elocution.

    Always comical hearing others drop the t really cackhandedly. Tony Blair and TV farm re-enacter Ruth Goodman spring to mind.
     
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2025
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  20. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    Remember that pretty very quiet young brunette auctioneer who used a headset? She was posher than Mary.
     
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  21. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    To be fair, eventually Prince Phillip stopped doing that
     
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  22. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    Very true.
    But Posh always susses out non-Posh.
    Minor public schools essentially sell to upwardly-thrusting parents the notion that they can train their oiky offspring to pass Posh muster but it is a con.
    And, of course, there is always someone higher up.
    e.g. Some grander Norman-heritage aristos used to regard the Queen and her clan of Germanic interlopers as rather downmarket.
    And poor Waity Katey will still hear occasional corridor whispers of "cabin doors to manual" even when she's Queen.
     
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2025
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  23. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    Good test: can the subject say the word 'toilet' without shuddering/vomiting? If so, not Posh.
     
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  24. TIMMY WANNACOTT

    TIMMY WANNACOTT Reservist

    Oh we do love to banter about an auctioneers daughter on here don't we, whether its Mary or Kirsty (looks like shes got married - or just changed her name)

    Has the Brettells Auctions girl, sometimes seen on ART ever been the auctioneer on BH? I believe shes an Auctioneers daughter - Jemima - thats a posh name.

    upload_2025-4-16_11-18-45.png
     
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  25. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    It invokes visions of Poshness.

    There was a very attractive, well fit-as-fark, Goth Bird, who used to work down the big Forbidden Planet store on New Oxford Street back in the 90s, called Jemima. A friend of a friend got to take her out on a couple of occasions but came back empty-handed in more ways than one, I believe the parlance was He Got Nothing. Used to enjoy nipping in there on the way to the Psychotronic Store, which the friend (not the friend of) owned/ran. Ah, happy days.

    Kirsty, the Rice Pudding specialist, still has her original e-mail address, so nuptials must have been quite recent. I wonder how long the Wedding Cake lasted and whether they had a wrecking ball-style ceilidh. Imagine the carnage after that along with the resultant holocaust of the frenzy from the finger buffet.
     
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  26. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Urgh, a Covid-recovery episode which will need us having Squeak-recovery therapy afterwards.

    Pervy Dave, Trilly, Christie The Transgressor Auction, with dodgy Father Abraham Smurfette entrapment beard.

    Leather and shoe-making.

    The finger-jabbing and squawking has sarted. Ooo me ears, ooooooo me eyes.

    75 pound (singular).

    Reds: Married partial BAME box ticking couple.

    Are they competitive? The same old question.

    Blues: Are full BAME box ticking British South Asian Finance and Business-orientated Father and Son. No stereotypes here then.

    Pervy Dave gets the token female.

    Connection to the Midlands/With a lock

    They make sure Dave doesn't get the lock challenge. He 's have them tied up before you could say Sado-masochism.

    Trilly demonstrating her prowess with the Chinese porcelain.

    Tribal Head rest. Thailand, asks Red Bird as her Brain rattles around in her head like a pea. Er, no.

    Pederast Bowl. That would sell well at a Transgressor Auction.

    WARNING. Moorcroft pricing.

    Yup. Derbys is in the Midlands, Red Bird. Do you know anything?

    Dave loves the rack, which he pictures attaching his victims to, in his dungeon.

    upload_2025-4-16_12-27-6.png

    Wedgwood. Yup, IT IS QUALITY.

    Dave enjoys their nervous fear. He might have to change his trousers.

    Hans Busk aka Hands on Bust
     
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2025
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  27. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Nice plated sandwich box, for your plated sarnies.

    A front of a Jeep. Standby for Man Cave or Mantique etc.

    Norway's role on the Northern Front. Upmarket Streetwalkers? Come and play with my Writing Slope. Cough

    upload_2025-4-16_12-32-50.png

    Dave bores them over the Royal Worcs Jug. That's his massive loss item sorted.

    Trilly very light on her feet. Impressive.

    Trilly silver hip flask.

    Red Bird likes the Fire Dogs. Loss assured.

    More Trilly silver.

    They abandon it for the Moorcroft as the clock counts down, never a good sign.

    Rushed Moorcroft = loss.

    Reds buy: Studio glass leaping Marlin, Royal Worcs christening mug, Fire dogs.

    Oh dear, big loss incoming.

    Blues: writing box, silver hands on Bust hip flask and sandwich box, Moorcroft bowl.

    The Pidgeon harness looks like a jock-strap.

    Leather toilet.!!!

    Wig powder bellows. LOL.
     
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2025
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  28. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    Has Moorcroft ever made a profit? It seems to be something that sells for a tenner a piece at auction and priced at hundreds at fayres.
     
  29. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    I suspect the Middlesbrough Monte Carlo will have led the reds to a big loss.

    Bliss expertise and Surrinder's tough haggling to lead to a blue win.
     
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  30. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    Oh, wait, they're going for Moorcroft. Cancel that.
     
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  31. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    139 on the mug. That's a bold (stupid) buy. I do remember a piece of Royal Worcester bought by Muttley going for hundreds, but that christening mug looks like it was made yesterday
     
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  32. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    Surely the most over-priced mug since Man U's keeper?
    I do like that writing box.
     
  33. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    I like the writing slope, but they often go for less than i think theyre worth.

    I like the flask

    Moorcroft does nothing for me.
     
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  34. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Ii can do if you can get it cheap enough. While the experts blather on about the rarity, the Auction audience will buy something to put their fruit in for a tenner.
     
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  35. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    The occasional utility of apostrophes:
    'Ladies writing slope.'
    Do they?
     
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