Bargain Hunt

Re-up from July2024 and Re-Re-up from May 2023 with additions.
BBC approved preamble:
Doune 32
Series 65
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001m74s
The teams are battling it out in Doune, Perthshire. Natasha Raskin Sharp meets leading tartan historian Peter MacDonald to learn about the origins of the iconic patterned cloth, while experts Roo Irvine and Danny Sebastian are guiding the Reds and the Blues.

The Translation:
We're bending Doune again with Strict Natasha for more Scottish McShenanigans. More stingy Antique Centre Staffers with their generous 100 pence discounts, more Auction Audiences with hands so deep in pockets that it's actually viewed as a sexual crime. Lovely Roo Irvine is also here, when she bends Doune a squeak is heard. Is it some undergarment malfunction or boots rubbing together? No, it's the other one, the spare expert, Dustbin Dan rummaging through the bins for the next potentially upcycled monstrosity or piece of scrap. Her-her-her-her-her. Huge sigh, not of relief, it's Brillo pad-wigged McWitch. Perhaps she can cast a stay forever in Jockland spell to keep McSqueak there indefinitely.

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Strict Natasha Raskin Sharp, Glasgow Southside enforcer
[Red Team Expert] Delightful Roo Irvine, full of Eastern Promise
[Blue Team Expert] Danny Smoke Alarm Sebastapol Sebastian, glass shatters along with any hopes
[Auctioneer] Anita Wigless McWitch Manning, the False Laughing Gavelier
[Auction Location] Great Western Auction Rooms, Glasgow
[Miserlin Rating] Approved

​

The Teams:
[Red Team] Retired Solicitor Female Friends
(Challenge: Scottish connection)
[Blue Team] Male Friend Football Coaches
(Challenge: Sporting Connection)

The Shopping:
Reds: Malcolm Grey Silver, Perl and Topaz Ortak pendant (25 Challenge) bargain, Beswick Ltd Edn Dribble Cat (18) good, Woman's Bust Murano art glass vase (85) McStruggle.
Blues: Phil Chapman Glass Bowl (35) McBargain, Bronze golfer on a plinth (180 Challenge) McOoof McOuch, Golf Glass Whisky decanter (18) topend.

The Distraction:
Strict Natasha meets leading tartan historian Peter McMacDonald to learn about the origins of the iconic Younger's canned beer. Natasha confesses to being a fan of tins of McEwan's export mixed with her standard Bucky tipple. It's not long after necking half a dozen tinnies that they start to argue, accusations of stealing each others booze and Natasha complains that he won't indulge in a Caber Toss with her down by the bins later as she's gantin oan it. The leading authority then historically defecates himself before passing out. This causes Natasha to howl in laughter before she is in turn sick down herself before passing out. Welcome to the cream of the Scottish connoisseur crop.

​

The Auction:
Reds: Malcolm Grey Silver, Perl and Topaz Ortak pendant (45 profit), Beswick Ltd Edn Dribble Cat (12 profit) Scottish GG McOn, Woman's Bust Murano art glass vase (65 loss) GG McOff.
Roo's BB is a Malcolm Grey Silver Stag pendant (28), 30-50, 60. Excellent work Roo.

​

Blues: Phil Chapman Glass Bowl (15 loss), Bronze golfer on a plinth (80 loss), Golf Glass Whisky decanter (2 profit).
Squeak's BB is a 20th century brass toasting fork (10), 20-30, 10. Evens stevens, the McMisers have spent enough already.

​

The Aftermath:
Oh dear, the Bagpipes drone, the purses get tighter, and the deep-fat frier is started up, as we endure another episode in the Misers Sanctuary that is Scotland. Tight T1tty Top Tash has colour in her cheeks, maybe the bracing air, or perhaps a quick swig. The dreadful irritating Midge McSqueek buzzing around. The lovely Roo fashion show and her very kissable ring. Terrible Antiques Centre with the most stingy discounts. Teams of Red cheapskates and Blue liquor lovers. The usual punch-drunk auction from old mop haired McWitch. Both teams suffer big losses on the big spends as you would expect North of the Border. For Roo's Reds, an excellent piece of Scottish silver, dirt cheap, not spotted by the harridans in the Antiques Centre, meant a good profit, then another on a half-priced Beswick Cat, opening up the possibility of a Scottish Golden Gavel, a first for the programme (well, since Jan last year). However, the woman's bust was a bust, and the money spunked all over it didn't deliver. However, Roo's excellent BB of another piece of Scottish silver came up Donald Trumps and a 24 note Scottish profit will fund a Bucky-fuelled night out. The Blues fared much worse with a stereotypical Squeak performance running up a near 3-figure loss. A piece of glass which was bought blind, made a loss, a really naff unwanted Xmas present of a glass decanter made a whole 2 note profit, the high point. Then the low point for the team. An unsigned, scarcely discounted, nearly 200 quid, bronze golfer paperweight/doorstop, well and truly tanked in classic Squeak style. Finally the piece-de-resistance, a skip rescued toasting fork which cost a tenner and just about wiped it's face. Standby for a breaking news item of a Glasgow gang running amok with a cheap brass prong. An amusing episode where Roo looked fantastic in her outfits and our Jockular stereotypes where satisfactorily enforced.

​

The Hi-Kick:
Standard indoor kick in cramped conditions. Excellent effort with good height and good coordination all round. We do get a glimpse of bare leg and hairy twaat at the end of the kick, but it's of the wrong sort. Yes, YES!!

​

OT78:
Another great co-ordinated kick! Only about five degrees difference between highest and lowest. Good jewellery today too.

titter:
The dreadful irritating Midge McSqueek buzzing around.

 

I see princess was on "Morning Live" on BBC yesterday discussing the impact of AIDeepfake p0rn, and how she felt when she found out there was some of it out there with her faked into it. Clearly very distressing. Highlighting a campaign to tighten laws on the matter.

 

Is the Steamstress Yo-H0-Ho-ing?

The very hot weather Series where everyone's make-up was melting.

Red Married Couple, he has the same manic eyes as the GO Compare perve.

Blues have a wheelchair safeguarding expert.

No Peeking. Too late for that.

Clean shaven Madders and full-on Yeticooper. Poor Blues.

Vintage toy or game/Related to travel or exploration.

Hopefully we will be travelling all over the Christina Continent.

Cooper loves the Knocker. Yes, so do we.

Generous discount straightaway unlike yesterday.

75 price offered, the Dealer has obviously seen the programme.

550 for that table. Really???!!!!

Reds played alot with each other on the lawn, banging away with the wood.

 

Madders has/is having an interesting career:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Madley

Madley represented Wales in junior international hockey and also played cricket in the Surrey League.[2] In junior hockey, he represented Wales at various age groups namely under-18, under-19 ans under-21 levels at European Championships.[2] Richard joined the prominent auction house of Phillips Son and Neale in Stratford, New Bond Street in 1978 initially working as a floor sweeper.[3] At Phillips Son and Neale, he was then promoted as a salesroom porter thereby embarking on a career trajectory oriented towards auctioneering.[2] He also hosted auctions of Impressionist Art, Old Master drawings, fine jewellery and 18th century furniture.[4]

He also learnt the basics of portering, sales & marketing, accountancy and cataloguing in addition to auctioneering during his corporate career.[2] He was introduced to host rugby memorabilia auctions in Arms Park Rugby Stadium in Cardiff. He was later appointed as an auctioneer for the Welsh Rugby Players Association.[5] He also appeared in television and radio broadcasts on BBC and ITV. He predominantly worked as an auction expert for the BBC television game show Bargain Hunt, which was regarded as the most popular daytime TV programme in Great Britain.[6][5]

After working at Philips Son and Neale for nearly two decades, he accepted an invitation to join Christie's as President of Christie's East, New York.[3] He began working as an auctioneer after moving to New York and engaged in auctioning baseball memorabilia.[2] He hosted auctions selling baseball memorabilia, rugby memorabilia before making a switch to cricket.[7]

In September 2001, he was the last auctioneer to conduct an auction at the World Trade Center in New York City, eight days before it was destroyed in the September 11 attacks.[5][2]

Madley became popular among fans for his approach to the role of auctioneer during his ten-year stint in the Indian Premier League.[8][9] He was brought on board as auctioneer for the 2008 Indian Premier League auction. He was regarded as the face of the Indian Premier League auctions, but his popularity plunged in late 2018, when Board of Control for Cricket in India decided to part ways with him prior to the 2019 IPL auction, as BCCI replaced him with Hugh Edmeades.[10][11][12][13] The London Times said that he was the most important man in cricket during the auctions.[14][15]

He said that he witnessed an important moment as an auctioneer when Chennai Super Kings franchise went all out to acquire Indian wicketkeeper batsman MS Dhoni during the inaugural IPL auction which was held on 20 February 2008.[16][17][18][19][20][21]

In September 2024, he was appointed as an auctioneer to host the player auction ahead of the 2025 SA20.[22][16][23]

 

New, new price.

Humdrum Carloss shop.

Transgressor-style Gladstone bag with tubing and gas masks.

Red Bird sits on the chair. It survives.

Reds buy: porcelain patch box, pine croquet set, 1950s vinyl comb chair

Christina divulges Richard's BIG secret. She laughs dirtily. Cough.

They found a toy for the Princess.

@OldTraff78 She says Richard a lot amid much Dirty Laughing.

Blues: Cornishware set, Jockey cap pin cushion, Vintage Gladstone bag

Ben, what will you be doing with that? Wasting it on rubbish.

Christina exercises her vocal chords.

Time for some rude Sea Shanties.

"It was on the Good Ship Venus ..........

Salty D1ck's Uncensored Sailor Songs

https://www.discogs.com/release/16659432-Salty-****-Salty-****s-Uncensored-Sailor-Songs?srsltid=AfmBOooW5qxlsAUa7LBfSi7zEOlknzE9nLBttSYVdrLLaVADurlbz_Dw



Thank you for sharing your love, she says.

Aha-Partridge contempt Auction.

She slinks into the Auction Room.



Jockey Strap

 

Blue woman: 'how can I make out like I'm a typical woman. Ooh, handbag!'

Very uncornish cornishman. Methinks a tenuous claim at best.

sea shanties. Brilliant.

 

Imagine the real ale fart smell when that lot of singers get together.

Some traditions are best forgotten

 

How many different ways can you express the concept of shanties being used to keep in time?

 

The youngish one, what's his excuse?

 

120 for the croquet, too much, probably, though I've seen them do very well.

 

Auctioneer is a very cheery deviant.

 

Will you be wielding your gavel, she asks, followed by an ooooffff.

Reds: 5 loss on the spot box, croquet set loses 40, told you he was shiit, Cheristina loves the chair, please be seated my dear, Cough, chair loses 35. A-ha Anti-GG. Terrible.

D1kko has bought some tiny Victorian gloves from earlier (22), not wicket-keeping gloves, she loves them, 20-30, 10. Lose 12.

Reds: -92

Winning score? LOL.

Blues: Cornishware, Zombies in the room, fark me a profit, 5 notes, jockey cap pin cushion loses 24, no GG for Cooper again, Gladstone bag loses 25.



Carloss Wispa time, he's bought a 1910 Chester silver box (50), scrap value, 40-60, 55. Makes a fiver.

Christina appreciates a decadent box. She loves a gorgeous box. So de we all.

Blues -39 A real triumph for this place.

Let's hold on to that. Yes please.

Christina enjoying herself.

Pandora's Box opened!!!!

 

A-Ha is a terrible Auctioneer.

 

Reds making losses. Can't wait to see how the blues do ...

 

I think he's done as a well as one can expect with his room of fossils.

 

Lazy BB Rich.

Absolutely useless, tiny gloves. Hope they lose money.

 

Anti GG for reds
Still think they'll beat the blues

 

Blues make a profit on their ordinary Cornishware.

 

If they do well with this Jockey cap then blues are home and dry for me.

25 loss. not terrible

 

Another day of incorrect predictions for me.

Perhaps I should give up

 

The shopping predictable unpredictability is one of the best things about this programme.

 

September 2023 was when Christina sang Dirty Songs and Dirtily Laughed down by the docks ......

Reg:
Look's like Christina is doing pantomime in that hat.

Looks like she's been slow-roasted on holiday. Arf.

Madders Madley and Bad Buys Cooper are today's "experts". Poor Blue Team.

Cooper looks like he's turned up from the overnight hostel. Yeti Sea Devil extra from 70s Dr Who.

Nobody is shaving the customary 1 pound off.

Soon as say that. It happens. LOL.

That non-hallmarked silver pincushion could bring down Cooper's Blues.

Can I tell you a secret? Yes, please Christina.

Pump shanty. Snigger.

Adam Aha Partridge.

Disaster incoming.

Everything heavily undervalued.

Trying hard. Don't make me laugh. Auction off to a bad start.

And another loss.

The chair goes for a tenner. Dreadful Auction.

Grand Slam for the Reds.

She's ready. Oh yes she is.

A 5 pound profit. Swoon.

Back to losses.

And another.

Scrap value 50 for that soap box from a toilet set.

It makes a fiver.

2 whole profits of a fiver today. Dreadful auction as predicted. Terrible.

Moog:
Auction is great! For the buyers. Absolute bargains being snapped up from this backstreet fence.

Profit on the Cornishware! Incredible!

The fact that there are no 3 figure losses today is testament to some decent hunting.

Good bb by Car Loss. Deserved more.

Guy:
Adam Partridge ah ha plus Madders and Tragic Cooper ...... what could possibly go wrong ?

A car crash not suprising..... lot of coffin dodgers in the inaminate audience

Clive:
A disappointing kick today. It lacked pizzazz. Dismayed to see that there were one or two scoff-rules foot danglers too.

There should only be the briefest of pauses as the hi-kick naturally reaches its summit and the very limits of the knicker's gusset elastic, before it begins a graceful and smooth, gravity-assisted descent again.

Some of these people seem to think they're doing the bloody hokey-cokey. Holding it up there and wiggling it all about. They've got their one single opportunity to participate in the nation's favourite lunchtime event. Lift a leg and lift the country's spirits a little bit at the same time. Some of them are nothing short of a slovenly disgrace.

Today, look I know the big blue lady was in a wheelchair. I appreciate the problems that presents when it comes to hi-kix. But do we not pay enough in licence fees? Isn't there a massive oversized BBC technical department and another stunts department? All loafing around in their brown coats and flat caps, drinking tea and smoking rollies at the licence payers' expense I shouldn't wonder!

Was some sort of hoist, sling and pully system not possible to allow Mrs Blue to participate fully in the final kick? I appreciate the old gal was perhaps a touch over the average weight, but even so. With reinforcing, it ought to have been possible. Hoisted front and centre and with an invisible string attached to the ankle and over a pulley, on the signal of 'YES!', I reckon she could have achieved head height. Maybe even BH's first kicking 360 flip.

Not to have done so seems like discrimination against the differently abled to me.

And possibly also gaslighting and body shaming too.

Moog:
Their choice to not utilise every apparatus and technical skill at their disposal to get that huge leg up smacks of white saviourism, cultural appropriation and colonialism to me.

Reg:
The celebs are out in force in this part of delightful Devon. On the Red Lino, we see Windy Miller, Rod Steiger, David Starkey, and Caligula himself, Malcolm McDowell, or is it Karl Pilkington. Meanwhile, Bob Todd shuffles uncomfortably in his seat as temperatures in the room soar as the bidding drops to absolute zero. The OAP summer excursion starts off with a full coach of 80 but this is back down to 70 when it departs later.



Even the Auction Sign stands to attention as Christina slinks in.



OT78:
haha, what a spot!

Moog:
She's lost a few kg. I'm not sure whether I like it or not.

OT78:
You could refill her with a few litres...

Reg:
Could be the hot weather making everyone look a bit more ragged. It looks like a real scorcher. I imagine the camera make-up not lasting long in these conditions either which will have an impact. Cooper with his Wild Man of Borneo look was in a right state.

Today's pics are brought to you by Happy Snaps, 1 hr while-u-wait, and we make copies of the most blackmailable ones.



Moog:
oooooh shiver me timbers!

Reg:
There she blows, Cap'n.

OT78:
Is this an optical illusion or am i seeing an unexpected nippletastic protrusion from Princess here?

 

Tongue-in-cheek. Is this an indication of pleasures to come?

 

Inside Third Leg measurement. Cough.

 

So in tomorrows 45 minutes we're getting a full history of 25 years of our favourite tv show. 25 years in 45 minutes. the inverse on my sexlife 45 minutes in 25 years. I'm sure @reg_varney could give us more than a 45 minute compilation of growler kicks.

 

Re-up from September 2023 with additions.
BBC approved preamble:
Exeter 14
Series 66
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001q2mj
Join Christina Trevanion for today’s show as she heads to Exeter. With the expert help of Richard Madley and Ben Cooper, the reds and the blues battle it out to see who can buy the three most profitable items to take to auction. Christina also travels to the south west coast to learn about the history of the sea shanty.

The Translation:
Christina is off to the South-West coast to take in the sea air, play around with amusements, tackle a thick length of rock, and to wear a kiss-me-quick-and-often hat. She looks down by the Pier and is joined by old man of the sea Madders Madley and lifts up a rock and out scuttles Crabby Cooper, the Hokkaido hairy crab, who heads off to the Rock Lobster Pool to join his hermit mates Andrew Whelkly with Can of Pepsi and Isle of Man Queenies. Auction is in Hele with Oh No it's Aha Partridge. One of the most flippant, dismissive, and snide Auctioneers to appear on the programme. Don't expect great things, in fact I predict the exact opposite.

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Steamstress Christina Trevanion, you get so much more than you bargained for
[Red Team Expert] Richard D1ckko Madders Madley not Madeley
[Blue Team Expert] Ben Bad Buys Ta-der-der Woo-Woo Cooper, the Poundshop George Michael, Kissing A Fool, Kissing Himself
[Auctioneer] Adam Aha Partridge, your fate is in his gland
[Auction Location] Adam Partridge Auctioneers, Hele, Devon
[Miserlin Rating] One Star

​

The Teams:
[Red Team] Married Training manager and Care coordinator
(Challenge: Vintage toy or game)
[Blue Team] Married financial planner and Wheelchair-bound Safeguarding Expert (BBC Diversity Box Ticked)
(Challenge: Related to travel or exploration)

The Shopping:
Reds: 19th Century Porcelain ladies patch box (20) OK, Pine Boxed Croquet set (120 Challenge) might struggle, 1950s Sputnik woven vinyl comb chair (45) got a chance.
Blues: Set of 4 Cornishware jars (75) ouch, Non-hallmarked silver mid-20th century Jockey cap pincushion (84) ooof, Gladstone bag (65 Challenge) ouch.

​

The Distraction:
Christina has rude sea shanty's sung about her and what she would do with several drunken sailors. The pump shanty is her particular favourite. Popeye would need to consume several cans of spinach for the required level of endurance judging by the aural escapades.

​

The Auction:
Reds: 19th Century Porcelain ladies patch box (5 loss), Pine Boxed Croquet set (40 loss), 1950s Sputnik woven vinyl comb chair (35 loss). Anti-GG awarded.
Madders BB are a Pair of Victorian gloves (22), 20-30, 10. A 12 note loss making an unwanted Grand Slam of losses.

​

Blues: Set of 4 Cornishware jars (5 profit), Non-hallmarked silver mid-20th century Jockey cap pincushion (24 loss), Gladstone bag (25 loss).
Carloss BB is a 1910 Chester silver box (50), 40-60, 55. It makes a whole 500 pence profit for Cooper. Quick buy those lottery tickets.

​

The Aftermath:
It looks like a scorcher outside and when Christina turns up, it's one inside too. Is it getting even hotter in here? Like a car crash between Charlie Cairoli's latest motor vehicle overflowing with custard and the Keystone Cops wagon full of pie, this was entertaining. We had Mid-Table Madders and Tragicooper, the latter marooned at the bottom of the Experts League with 1 of the very worst Auctioneers, average overall loss of nearly 170, Pessimistic Palmer still the worst with an average of -218.5!! It didn't disappoint. Add in our favourite presenter looking very Summery, as if she's been slowly-roasted on a tropical island. The Bounty hunters, they came in search of paradise and found it! First up, it was Madders Red Team, all items undervalued, well we know why that is, don't we Partridge, and everything made a loss. A -92 note Grand Slam of losses. What a great start. Could things actually get worse with Carloss Wispa's Blue Team. Not quite. Remarkably, 2 of the items made 5 whole pounds of profit each. Cough splutter. The silver box he had from his BB was from a toilet set, and there was danger it would go down the toilet like most of Cooper's purchases. It's scrap value was what he paid for it but it only just squeaked a profit. Both other items made losses and the Cooper's Blues were in the Red by 39 pounds. He is still yet to pop his cherry on the Golden Gavel front.

​

The Hi-Kick:
Outdoor kick on a driveway. Everyone hits par at the same time. Good effort. Almost a decent Growler kick shot from Christina but the shadows are not our friend, along with almost an unfortunate glimpse of an Ironside Growler. Thankfully, the camera angle is too high. Yes, YES!!

​

 

We need the girls to display their outfits which could then be voted on, followed by a lengthy parade, some Disco dancing, followed by a Growler Kick Can-Can. Or all the Experts can have one big mud wrestle.

 

"Kate Bliss and Thomas Forrester spill the beans ......."

 

"Thomas also reveals that the late great Terry Wogan had a thing or two to say about him ......." Begorra, Tubby you're a fecking ejit.

 

A good old fashioned "Miss Bargain Hunt" contest.

 

Before he moved, he was based just outside Liverpool. He was even worse there. It's his sneering nature that he can't really be arsed with the tat he's given.

 

Yeah, he does have a real sneer, but I felt he really worked that auction as best he could.

 

I picked a good day to get back from hols:

today
25 Years of Bargain Hunt
Summary
Charlie Ross, with the help of co-presenters and experts including Philip Serrell, Kate Bliss and Thomas Forrester, revisits his fondest memories of the game show. Roo Irvine recalls how her team made a £395 profit at auction with a rusty suit of armour, while Tim Weeks acknowledges the fact that he still holds the dubious honour of buying the only item not to sell
Review
Frances Taylor
One of the unsung heroes — and linchpins — of BBC daytime gets a fittingly eccentric celebration looking back at a quarter of a century of bargain hunting. Charlie Ross is the master of ceremonies at a silver jubilee street party where the show’s experts reminisce about big profits, even bigger losses and moments that were memorable for all the wrong reasons. Ripped trousers, stumbles and Happy Mondays’ Bez being caught cheating, to name a few.

There are some lovely anecdotes, too, including Anita Manning recalling how a 30-second intro took two hours to film, and how Tim Wonnacott started the now-famous Bargain Hunt kick before it took on a life of its own

 

And he we very outspoken on X about Hanson when charges were brought - hes since deleted the tweets - but this was a reply someone posted..

 

"Nul points".
"They're laughing at you, not with you" (1991)
"This is supposed to be bad. And the worse it is, the more fun it is." (1997)