Bargain Hunt

And they are showing him on a 1973 Parky too...with George Best and John Betjeman. What a line-up!

 

@reg_varney any chance of an up to date gg table please?

 

Eric in Ceramic Heaven. Meisen Glory Hole.

Red Mother and Daughter BAME Sistas.

Blue Blonde Mother and Daughter. They both like to take control. COUGH.

Daughter Lottie is fussy and easy on the eye.

Misty start. Must be bloody early and cold.

Randy Catherine and Sarky.

Piece of measuring equipment/Piece of blown glass

Run, Run, says Catherine, keen to prove her stamina to all male onlookers.

Rusty scales. They should ask how match that stepladder that's displaying is.

Reds bickering already.

The Red Team and Catherine reminds me of that quote from O Happy Man:

"Chocolate sandwich! Chocolate sandwich! Chocolate sandwich! Chocolate sandwich!"

Sarky heads straight for the phallic vase which he skillfully cups and fondles.



The Blues don't like it and instantly pick something up to get the full Sarky Scorn.

 

Sarky in top form.

 

Both teams are bickering nightmares. Catherine has no men to grab or grope. It will focus her mind more.

Catherine points to a place in the bushes for some intimacy.



She's very frisky, bouncing up and down, with hands deep in pockets, I'm here and ready boys, she's implying.





Reds buy: scales, fruit knife and 2 forks, Georg Jensen silver flower brooch

Blues: West German pottery vase, glass vase, vintage walking stick

 

READY THE HARPOON!!!!!!!!

 

Plaidy on Duty in the Auction House.

No Fascist badge this time.

Fairly positive valuations for the Reds.

He likes Folk Art.

Also fairly positive for the Blues.

Online only Auction, so anything can happen but it will probably be crap.

Reds: scales lose 18, not looking good, knife and forks almost there but lose 5, oh dear, not much biting, big spend time, not hopeful, Jensen brooch start at 90, now 100, Plaidy really trying but it loses 30. Anti-GG achieved.

Catherine's BB are a couple of caddies, not Golf ones for playing a-round with, but tea ones (25), 25-50. Let's see what the reality is, says Eric dryly. Sold for 25, wipes arse. Grand Slam of loss avoided.

Reds -53

Blues: German vase wipes arse, Anti-GG avoided, satin glass vase starts at 40, end at 40, loses 35, the folk art walking stick, the twisted shaft, Sarky likes, 30, 8 notes profit.

Mark's BB is a Gallery tray (30), the choice is yours says Sarky, 30-40, c'mon internet wake-up, 20 sold, loses 10. Is the Internet Connected, Sarky Sarkily observes.

Blues -37

 

Blue Bird scrubs up quite well. Shame Mum looks like Andrea Loathsome,



They can close their eyes knowing that Sarky is not interested in that way. However, they might still end up in his attic.



Catherine not leaving much to the imagination. @wfcmoog how's your imagining?

 

This was on this time last Jan. Plenty of wagging of chins .........

Moog:
Poor auction today at Plaidy's Parsimonious Pauper's Palace

Reg:
Felt sorry for him. No one was biting online. Perhaps some saucy visual Raymond Revuebar vignettes would help in these type of situations.

Evidently the Reds are good time girls. And so's Catherine @wfcmoog. Cough.



A double what? Double cough.



Ho ho.



Sarky can't believe his luck. Time for another visitor to his sinister attic.



Lordy, The Kraken Awakes. Auction Girl Kirsty, you have competition.



Is this the arse end of nowhere? Treble cough.



Blimey some comments from mid-Jan 2022, PAGE 5!!!!!! too.

Clive:
I'm still gutted about Friday's episode, where posh tottie Lottie and her horrible bleach blonde mother beat those black girls.

Filbert:
F*cking hell that sounds like a hate crime. A bit heavy going for a daytime show.

Clive:
Snotty Lottie stood there with her skinny little jeans-clad legs and big BH jacket with her arms folded, declaring she "hated" everything suggested by poor Mark the expert, who was getting more and more exasperated.

In the end, with about 5 seconds left, they bought 3 items all decided by Mark and all of which were "hated" by Lottie and Mummy equally.

The buyers were super tight and the bitchy bleached twosome won by dint of losing less money. An absolute travesty.

However, I must concede that in Lottie's favour, she did surprise me with a tremendous high kick at the end. She got some real height. I suppose there's no weight to those thin little sparrow legs.

PS If anyone missed the episode, I should say the kick was around about 105° from perpendicular.



Moog:
I think I watched this one but zoned out. Can you remember any of the items or who the auctioneer was?

Sometimes you can just tell it's a losses all round type of day and I just switch off because of my ADHD.

Clive:
Well the black girls (quite a tasty daughter and a short arse mum with a massive afro wig) bought the inevitable silver brooch by some designer or other, which looked good, but lost money.

Posh Lottie and Mummy, or rather Mark the expert, bought the ugliest East German vase I've ever seen on BH. It was massive. Industrial and grey. "Wow that's a lot of pottery" they said, and it was. It was fatter than one of Lottie's legs. Incredibly it sold for £10, thereby wiping its face! Maybe someone wanted to smash it and use it as drainage hardcore in their garden or something, because there was no way anyone would want it in their house.

Moog:
Oh yeah, it was a Georg Jensen brooch I think. Or was there a charm bracelet by him?

Was the auctioneer that Scottish battleaxe (a less charming Susan Boyle) who starts off raving about a piece 'wow, beautiful piece of crafted silver, amazingly rare, extremely collectable' before giving a pathetic estimate '5-10 pounds.'

Clive:
It was indeed a Georg Jensen, as so many BH items seem to be. They paid £125 I think and it sold for £100.

I can't remember the auctioneer, but he was pretty useless. Very listless and lacking in enthusiasm. The bidders were also super-tight. It was somewhere up north I think.

The one yesterday (Sunday) was the wee Scottish one, where yet another Georg Jensen item got bought and also lost money. That was the uncharming silver charm bracelet. I quite enjoyed that episode. Some tremendous losses, including a decent three figure loss by the ladies, which is always enjoyable.

Another Hi/Lo-light from PAGE 5:

Reg:
Nosferatu/Gollum's Blue Team were unlucky with being sold a Harry Beck reprint of a 1936 Tube map as an original would have cleaned up. The Papier-maché writing box surprisingly made a decent profit, whenon another day it would have tanked at auction. Catherine Southon is already under his spell and it won't be long before he sinks his teeth into her neck.



Filbert:
Harold Shipman have a good look at her jugs ‘n all.

Clive:
If the other bloke stood really still on a plinth in a department store, people would 100% believe it was a manikin.

Reg:
Surely, contemplating his big bonus buy decision. Yes, I noticed that too

Moog:
If original, those go for thousands, not hundreds.

I thought the writing slope was madness and they did the right thing in rejecting it, but it made 20 quid. Even the auctioneer was predicting a steep loss.

The other team forgot the first rule of BH when they bought that clock garniture for 180 sovs. Only about 2% of items that cost over 120 quid don't lose money. In the end it actually wasnt as bad as I feared and they only lost 20 or 30 quid. Thomas has some good buyers in his auction it seems. At the some of the other actions that would have gone for 20 quid into the back of a dealer's dusty Renault Traffic.

 

Lottie has grown on me. Splendid eyes-closed RegGrab.

 

Re-up from Jan 2024 with additions.
BBC approved preamble:
Detling 19
Series 60
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0013d64
Eric Knowles heads to Detling in Kent, where experts Catherine Southon and Mark Stacey assist the teams in their search for profitable antiques to take to auction. Eric also visits Maidstone Museum to see a rare collection of ceramics that offer an insight into Japanese philosophy.

The Translation:
Back to the recently re-opened Antiques Fair in Detling, Kent with Uncle Eric, Gropey Catherine and Sarky Marky here shaking off the restrictions and smelling the fresh air tinged with the smell of Antique Dealer BO and the musty smell of vintage tat. In this series it's been a tag team of Dr Evil and Plaidy with the latter directing auction proceedings and trying to get the online punters spending their folding money on Jumble Sale fodder rather than OnlyFans and Jungle Hair strimmers.

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Uncle Eric Knowles, supreme sausage scoffer
[Red Team Expert] Catherine Southon, super posh, super useless, super randy
[Blue Team Expert] Sarky Marky Stacey, the sleazy, slurry somnambulist, he has been known to enjoy a pansy
[Auctioneer] Raj Dr Evil Bisram
[Auction Location] Bentley's Auction Rooms, Cranbrook
[Miserlin Rating] Unlisted

​

The Teams:
[Red Team] Retired head teacher Mother and Media Lawyer daughter (BBC Black Lives Matter BAME box well and truly ticked)
(Challenge: Piece of measuring equipment)
[Blue Team] Andrea Loathsome Sales manager Mother and Account Director Met Police exploitation bait daughter (Blonde box well and truly ticked).
(Challenge: Piece of blown glass)

The Shopping:
Reds: Avery scales and weights (38 Challenge) Good, Victorian fruit knife and 2 forks (35) Good, Boxed Georg Jensen silver flower brooch (130) Good.
Blues: West Germany pottery vase (10) Fine, Decorative Victorian Thomas Webb glass vase (75 Challenge) Good, Vintage beechwood walking stick (22) Good.

The Distraction:
Uncle Eric is in ceramic heaven today. From jug fondling at the start of the programme he has come to Maidstone museum. Will he see former Maidstone Utd amd Hornet goal machine Steve Butler mounted on a bronze plinth in a glass cage, which would perfectly well describe his prowess in front of goal. Another one of Steve Perryman's paste diamonds. There's a genuine Seamonster showing him around, who despite being plastered in make-up, would come close to winning Kraken of the Year. The depictions of Dutch traders on some of the Japanase traders reminds me of the notorious 1960s Japanese exploitation shocker Teruo Ishii's Shogun’s Joy of Torture (1968) aka Tokugawa onna keibatsu-shi, where some 18th/19th Century European trader womenfolk realise it's not a good idea to stumble into feudal Japan. Of course, nothing like this happens nowadays, with just the odd Karaoke bar hostess being chopped up and buried in the beach. For some reason Eric things he'll give Catherine's Karaoke bar all-nighter a wide berth.

​

The Auction:
Reds: Avery scales and weights (18 loss), Victorian fruit knife and 2 forks (5 loss), Georg Jensen silver flower brooch (30 loss).
Grabby's BB are a pair of Arts & Crafts Brass Tea Caddies (25), 25-50, 25, unlucky, evens stevens, a good buy instead of the usual good-bye Catherine.

​

Blues: West Germany pottery vase (evens stevens), Decorative Victorian Thomas Webb glass vase (35 loss), Vintage beechwood walking stick (8 profit).
Sarky's BB is a Mid-20th-century gallery tray (30), 30-40, 20, it sinks like most of the items. 10 note loss, that was harsh. Are you sure the internet's connected, Eric?, comments Sarky.

​

The Aftermath:
2 sets of close family, Covid-friendly teams. Long, bedraggled hairstyles. Dear oh dear. Very fussy women. Team members, buying for themselves rather than to make a profit. Pity the experts, Sarky seemed particularly frustrated with younger Blue, who will be filling a space in his locked attic later. Was he ever in the Met? Blonde Blue Daughter would have driven you insane during Covid restrictions but there would have been some positive distractions at times to reduce the boredom and find blessed relief. Good job Gropey Catherine was given an all female team, coming out of lockdown and presented with 2 men would have been too tempting, so much so, that any contestant male, female, thing, would still be a target of lust. It's a muted, low activity internet and phone only Auction. It's so quiet that Sarky muses whether the internet is actually connected. He has a point. Despite Plaidy's best effort, there's not much activity and most of the items fall well short of the valuations. So Catherine's Reds make no profits and snaffle an anti-Golden Gavel in the bargain along with a 53 GBP loss despite the items not being too bad. Sarky's Blues didn't fare much better, only 1 profit, the knobbly stick, as they end with a harsh 37 pound loss. Entertaining episode with Sarky on good form as usual and Eric producing copious amounts of cream for his lovely broken ceramics. Looks like he's already started with that West German milk churn.

Sarky is on great form.



Catherine shows off her pair.



Where are the men?, she muses, as she boils with lust.



​

The Hi-Kick:
Outdoor Covid diagonal kick on wet, uneven grass. Decent effort from everyone bar Randy Catherine who struggles in the wind and rain to get her legs parted. Must have been an early night. Yes, YES!!

​

 

I was ill today. Very nasty cold, so had to sit this one out. Hope you enjoyed without me.

 

We enjoyed you in top reheated replay form, thanks to RegRetro. Almost as good as the live moog.

 

Surely, a perky on-demand Catherine is the tonic you need.

 

Hope you're feeling better soon

 

I'll add this to the BH Babes Disco page:

 

The Steamstress will be climbing aboard a Hot-Rod, lucky, Rod, what's not to like.

All it needs is a stencil for Death To Videodrome. Long Live The New Flesh!!!



Urrggghh. Scouse Continuity Announcer.

The Steamstress in Partridge-style string-backed gloves. Ah-Phwwwoooaaarrr.

Hat Twaat mentions Bantz.

Giantess Ryvita gets the Opposition Batters.

Is that a record player? LOL Nope.



Red Tools played Lacrosse at School. This labels them as Public School W@nkas.

Tubby didn't.

Squeeze Box, Ryvita grew up with one at home. She makes a dreadful racket and so does the accordion.

 

Kodak Loss Maker. The Big Idiots are going for Big Money.

Tubby starting to be irritated by Reds. They are irritating Thomas.

The classic if 2 people at the Auction love it then we could be millionaires.

Omega watch the death is 180. Then miraculously drops to 150. And eventually to 130.

The Giantess spots another giant object.

Reds will teach Tubby to backflip, bounce more like. He bails.

Hat twaat threatens to eat his hat if the lamp doesn't make a profit.

Improved performance for the phallic cars.

 

Unfortunately I cannot.

 

Dirty Laugh while gripping his arm. Instant stiffness assured.



Evidently, she will love every second.

Has Weeks got a cold?

Giantess squawking. Shut-up. Blues on first.

The Reds watch must have flown then.

2 arse wipes on the trot.

Those ladders are the Giantess stocking stretchers.

Standby for Tubby smugness.

Fark me.

Stag scene. Snigger.

Tubby will now be the epitome of smugness for Months.

 

Good shop today. Some interesting buys and some good prices, except for maybe the charter and the bon bon dish.

Excited to see how Weeks does with it all.

 

Excited to see how the Omega does....

Golden gavel time!

 

Did the red guy just say "******* smashed it?'

 

Manic Zieg Zeal Time!!!

 

Nope. Smashed It, You Really Smashed It. Perhaps they will struggle to sit down later.

 

BBC approved preamble:
Naseby 31
Series 69
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0026psn
The red and blue teams up are against the clock to find bargains to sell at auction. Can their experts Irita Marriott and Thomas Forrester steer them to a win? It’s a battle of best friends in this episode from Naseby in Northamptonshire. With one hour on the clock, pals Owen and Sayer on the red team are shopping alongside expert Thomas Forrester. Their competition are friends Kennedy and Matt, guided by Irita Marriott. The blues start their shop by wondering if they’ll squeeze out a profit with an old accordion, while the reds turn down a pricey gramophone when they learn that it’s not going for a song. Over at the fair, presenter Christina Trevanion goes for a ride in a flame-decorated hot rod car with collector Mike Garrett. In the passenger seat, Christina asks Mike for his top tips when it comes to buying and maintaining a vintage muscle car. In Wiltshire, there’s strong bidding for the teams’ items at Tim Weeks’s auction, with a surprise in store for one team.

The Translation:
Hooray it's once again time for more Videodrome dress attired Princess Christina, the Venus Guy Trap. Spoiling this lovely image is Tubby Thomas and the Latvian answer to Geoff Capes, the Amazonian Giantess, Lady Ryvita Brady, on yet again. This time we're in the Midlands at Naseby with the promise of a decent Auction in the Wokesfuhrer Weeks Wessex Germania Auction Rooms while he ponders his next move with the aid of an Airfix Pontoon Bridge Assault Set.

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Steamstress Christina Trevanion, because she's bloody worth it, she's certainly born with it.
[Red Team Expert] Tubby Thomas Forrester, the plump schoolboy, ready to explode
[Blue Team Expert] Ryvita Marryalot, the Latvian Karen Brady, CEO of Riga City FC, The Crispbreads, owned by Oligarch Lane Park van Sully
[Auctioneer] Treepants Wokesfuhrer Wunderbar Weeks, Achtung Wokey Wokey it's Anschluss Time where Wessex goes Ding Dong Avon Heiling, while riffing on the Mud ditty, That's rank, that's rank, that's rank, that's rank, we deplore your Tiger Tank. Is that an 88 mm Artillery gun in your pocket or do you just like Hipster Auctioneers?
[Auction Location] Wessex Auction Rooms, Colditz Bunker Chippenham
[Miserlin Rating] Unlisted

LONG LIVE THE NEW THIGH FLESH!!!

​

The Teams:
[Red Team] Best Friends Trainee Accountant Bill Owen and Retail Director Leo Sayer, back-flipping Public school idiots.
(Challenge: Related to a team sport)
[Blue Team] Friends, not Best Friends, Support Worker Hat-Twaat Kennedy Assassinated and DJ & Producer Matt Finish, they love Bantz putdowns and Pantz pulldowns.
(Challenge: Makes a sound)

The Shopping:
Reds: Wooden Lacrosse stick (10 Challenge) OK, Silver filigree Bon-Bon dish (70) ouch, Omega Seamaster watch (130) Perfection, Brilliant buy, he creams.
Blues: Schoolmaster's turned wood and Brass Hand Bell (22 Challenge) OK, Anita Harris Charger (80) Fair retail price, Barber Health Lamp (9) It Is A Bargain.

The Distraction:
Over at the fair, presenter Christina Trevanion goes for a ride in a flame-decorated hot rod car with collector Mike Garrett. In the passenger seat, Christina asks Mike for his top tips when it comes to buying and maintaining a vintage muscle car. Wow, the Hostess with the Mostest rides a hot rod and asks for top tips. The seat vinyl will be a huge collector's item after this and should Auction for thousands of pounds. Tens of thousands if it's a summer's day!!

​

The Auction:
Reds: Wooden Lacrosse stick (12 profit), Silver filigree Bon-Bon dish (10 profit), Omega Seamaster watch (400 = 270 profit) massive Golden Gavel.
Tubby's BB is a Pair of silver and enamel Norwegian cufflinks (49), 30-50, 50. A profit of a pound.

​

Blues: Schoolmaster's turned wood and Brass Hand Bell (evens stevens), Anita Harris Charger (evens stevens), Barber Health Lamp (19 profit).
Ryvita's BB are a couple of paint-spattered ladders (15), 20-30 OK, 48. 33 profit for the Giantess.

​

The Aftermath:
The Priceless Princess in her Red Videodrome, Death To Stiffness, Dress. Decent Antiques Fair. 2 of the lesser Experts, Large Tubby and even Larger Ryvita. Unfortunately, 2 Teams of Coqs, Public School Backflipping Financial Sector Reds and Hat-twaat loving in both ways Blue Team. An On-form Wokesfuhrer Auction, the gleam in his eyes and his zeal being very apparent. The Blues were on first, not a good sign for Brady's Blues, and their opening 2 items, the bell and charger, both wiped arses, not a disaster then. The bargain Health lamp and BB ladders both make decent profits so they end up flush with 52 quid, not bad at all. So, the Reds must have hit paydirt. Hmmmm, I wonder if it's the big spend watch? Tubby was getting a bit frustrated with his Red Team but he swallowed his Pride and indulged them. The Lacrosse stick, which fingered them as products of the Private education system made a profit, as did the filigree dish. So it must be the watch, and it was. It effing flew, bought for 130 notes, it opened with a profit and climbed towards the skies and reached 400 quid, with much guffawing and even Christina climaxing nicely for the camera. That's a huge 270 GBP profit. However, it didn't break the 300 barrier, which it would need to trouble the Top BH Profit items. Still impressive though. Tubby finishes the selling off with a whole 100 pence profit on his rather nice Scandi Stag Scene (no, not one of those) silver and enamel cufflinks, to complete a clean sweep of profits and they end up taking home 293 quid. Tubby sneaks into the Biggest Overall Profit Top 10. Tubby's biggest ever overall profit, displacing his previous best of 214. In fact, the combined profit total (345), also makes it into the Top 5. As always, a quality Christina episode.

Naomi are you errr available errr later? COUGH.

​

The Hi-Kick:
Standard outdoor kick round the back of the building. Christina sets a good example and is up early, but not as early as me, followed by the Giantess and her gaping Growler kick, enough to make your eyes water, the rest follow afterwards. Yes, YES!!

​

 

Lobby Cards I:

 

Lobby Cards II:

 

Plenty of Tongue action today.



Time to shift that Gear Stick. Shouldn't we indicate before Changing Lanes?



Time to Touch Base?



Lovely Naomi on the 'phones.



The not so lovely Lady Crazy Glasses spotted near the back. Good to see Chris Mccausland has made a miraculous recovery. Behind him, Peter Ustinov is doing his research for Murder at Southsea.



READY THE HARPOON!!!! The beached whale is spotted on the right.



Wasn't Kessler a Geatapo Officer in The Secret Army. One of the Wokesfuhrer Weeks favourite programmes.



Guess where this is going?, announces Tubby.



Hint.

 

Weeks had his best return today as an Auctioneer and now has the most GGs won at his Auction Housr. Sehr, sehr gut, mein Wokesfuhrer.

 

Oh yeah. I have been busy with Dancing Babes etc.

 

holy cow!
I haff seen der mission target!
achtung, blitzkreig, schnell!
any czechs or poles watching must have been shuddering

 

A very young Julia Stiles headbobbing on the phones today.

What a great episode.
Public School twits were properly excited. Thought Tubby was going to combust when he made that golden quid.

Btw, Princess touched Mr Hot Rod twice, I note.
Pleased to see RegGrabs caught her over-the-shoulder glance.
There was a marvellous shot of her asking HotRodder for a lift...priceless expression.
I also liked that she kept saying 'hot rod'. Her lips love it.

 

p.s. great spot on Kessler lacrosse stick.
I recently watched his spin-off series; the Going Straight to Secret Army's Porridge.
Israeli actress was cast as his would-be nemesis:



You can almost see both her Golan Heights and her Gaza Strip