1. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Cooper has now lost -1986 GBP in 46 appearances, that's an average of -43.17 GBP per appearance. The worst of the lot. Outstandingly bad.
  2. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    entertaining and historic
    reg_varney likes this.
  3. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    Nice to see Reg reminding us of Amicus Beyond The Grave too...
    reg_varney likes this.
  4. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Definitely an ice cream thing going on in BH. They really can't get enough.

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  5. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    Nice pic of Princess enjoying a 99.
    Would've preferred it to be a 69, but still...
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  6. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    Princess looks like 1970s showbiz royalty in that hat.
    Deneuvienne, even....

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  7. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

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  8. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    It's another one of the missing 7 legacy episodes. Soon to be down to 6.

    Ross, Jericho, Bingo and Andy Flat-Roof.

    Foghorn almost antique sweeps items onto the floor. The clumsy oafette.

    The dealer caves quickly. Mind Bingo is a big bloke.

    I remember that generous manager in a more recent shop there. Bargains to be had.

    Alcoholic policeman. No stereotypes there.

    More generous discounts.

    I would feel more confident if it was a Treepants and Bullteeth Auction.
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2023 at 12:30 PM
  9. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Foghorn takes a break during the shop.

  10. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Cream tea time says Bingo.

    Disaster averted with that rusty pedal car being too expensive.

    Jericho is going to blow the lot. Gawd help them.

    Rummaging in fields and tips. Where's The Squeak?

    Ash tips and Dust carts. The Squeak would love this.

    Ah nostalgia trip, glass marbles. Charl-eh has lost his!

    Expensive poison bottles filled with expensive poison. All Foghorn has to do is pee in one of them. Toxic beyond belief.

    Flat-roofed Andy loves the toast rack.

    He's very enthusiastic. A little goes a long way.

    Nice generous rack says Charl-eh foaming at the mouth.
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2023 at 12:48 PM
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  11. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Phew, she doesn't blow the lot.

    Damp squib internet only Auction.

    Foghorn wearing something that can only be described a s Technicolour Yawn at the Auction.
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2023 at 1:01 PM
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  12. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    I'd like to report a crime. Caroline stole my Auntie's curtains from the late 70s!
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  13. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    they mentioned Foghorn 'blowing the lot' four times...
    many images come to mind :confused:
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  14. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    Fairplay to Foghorn, she is showing good bodyshape in those curtains.
    And we know how high she kicks.
    Fit piece?!
    Beginning to see what the mutual attraction is with her footballer
  15. OldTraff78

    OldTraff78 Reservist

    Toast rack was fab.
    Good old 1850s days, when you had to cut your own, nice 'n' thick.
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  16. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    BBC approved preamble:
    Hele 3
    Series 60
    Charlie Ross is in Devon, where experts Caroline Hawley and John Cameron help the teams find valuable items to take to auction in Bristol. Charlie unearths some fascinating facts about centuries-old treasure when he meet a bottle collector.

    The Translation:
    Another of the missing episodes, the missing 7, now the missing 6. It's the top fool with the Missing Presumed Wiped brain presenting from Hell, which today is Hele in Devon. His demon deviants alongside are Foghorn Hawley, one listen of her voice or glimpse of today's outfit will confirm you're in the presence of Beelzebub, and Bingo Cameron, whose Split Banana is the stuff of legend in the Underworld. Common sense has taken hold for once and instead of local streak of auction p1ss Aha Partridge, it's off to East Bristol instead with Andy Stowe in his 70s flat-roofed emprium, sandwiched between the dodgy newsagent with the top-shelf continental magazines, vintage Zippo lighters and cheap Castellas (a cigar that's as big as a pint), and the newly opened mis-located country pursuits shop, with the latest in duck-hides, shooting sticks, and a huge diesel-engined ride-on lawnmower, the essential purchase for a Council house shoe box garden.

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Omnifool Charlie The Tool Ross, Stupidus dementium
    [Red Team Expert] Caroline Shrieky Blindus Hawley, premiering an item from her Maydayline, Maybe She's Born With It (along with the third t1t and pointed ears) Anal Prolapse Tartan, Get the Luton look.
    [Blue Team Expert] John Marine Boy Cameron, Bingo Bobbins
    [Auctioneer] Andy Flat Roof Emporium Stowe
    [Auction Location] East Bristol Auctions Ltd, Hanham.
    (Miserlin Rating: Unlisted)

    Start.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    The Teams:
    [Red Team] Retired Married couple, He's head and she's the neck, he likes old things, the pervy Gerontophile.
    (Challenge: Piece of Victorian silver)
    [Blue Team] Married Police Officer Hubby and Nurse Wifey. Useful skills to patch herself up after he's had a skinful.
    (Challenge: Piece of Edwardian jewellery)

    The Shopping:
    Reds: 1848 London Victorian silver toast rack (125 Challenge) Bargain, French Enamel jugs (20) OK, Georgian flame mahogany regency swing mirror for vintage swinging (99) Excellent.
    Blues: Edwardian 18ct gold aquamarine bar brooch (80 Challenge) topend, Bronzed horse and rider figure, damaged in transit (47 guaranteed 40), Dartmouth Devon pottery rugby player tankard (25) topend.

    The Distraction:
    Charlie unearths some fascinating facts about centuries-old treasure when he meet a bottle collector. Yet again the silly t1t has got confused again and think he's due a visit from The Bottom Inspectors. He has his trousers round his ankles ready and waiting for Botzkrieg when a hobbyist turns up with a bit of deposit glass found in the municipal bins. He had to fight Dustbin Dan for it but won out when The Squeak spotted an wooden Apple Crated Dentist Lamp ripe for upcycling.


    The Auction:
    Reds: 1848 London Victorian silver toast rack (good profit), French Enamel jugs (small loss), Georgian flame mahogany regency swing mirror (profit).
    Foghorn's BB is a Mauchline box containing a thimble (40), 40-50, 30. Foghorn almost blows the lot and it chokes like she does.

    ToastRack.jpeg ThimbleBox.jpeg

    Blues: Edwardian 18ct gold aquamarine bar brooch (largish loss), Bronzed horse and rider figure (small insured loss), Dartmouth Devon pottery rugby player tankard (small loss).
    Marine Boy's BB is a Shelley Harmony cake stand (20), 20-30, 18. Oh dear it's another loss.

    BarBrooch.jpeg CakeStand.jpeg

    The Aftermath:
    Generous Antiques Centre managers including the very accommodating Clive and Ian. Internet only auction with enthusiastic Andy Stowe. Unfortunately, his optimism is generally not mirrored by internet action. Perhaps he needs to borrow Treebeard's phone phishing skills from Treepants Travelling Circus. Let's start with Foghorn's Reds. A superb Victorian silver toast rack, generously discounted, absolutely loved by the Auctioneer, makes a decent profit. No surprise, but any thoughts about a Golden Gavel were scotched when the unexciting, but cheap, French jug made a small loss followed by a profit on the Swingers Club mirror. Get tingin the mood Foggy is going to blow the lot and in the meantime buys a thimble in a box, which would get Watford Anne excited (see Big Watford Love nostalgia discussions ad passim), which chokes literally and figuratively, but they do end up with a 21 note profit, thanks to the gorgeous toast rack. After supposedly blowing the lot (or almost blowing it), Jericho obviously gagged and spewed down her front, which can be the only way to describe that outfit she wore at the Auction. Hideous, beyond what the worst cheese-fuelled nightmares can churn up, excuse the pun. Was there cause for optimism for the Blues? No. Every item made a loss, including a damaged-in-transit figurine which had it's price set in stone (or should we say pewter) to just below what they paid for it, which doomed it to failure. Marine Boy produced the cake stand from earlier as his BB and it sunk like a 2nd year cookery class rock cake. So a Grand Slam of losses, a Reverse Bingo Bombshell ends with a 44 note loss. Not his best day. Entertaining episode though. Always good to strike another legacy episode from the list.


    The Hi-Kick:
    Indoor Covid diagonal kick. Unfortunately, it's a close-up view of Hawley's Paisley Puke Suit again with good synchronous kicking from everyone. Yes, YES!!

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  17. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    That Bottle Collector in the Distraction looks suspiciously like Roger Delgardo's Master. Charl-eh will Listen and Obey Him. Is he using his collection as a disguise for yet another transistor radio based device to call out the Sea Devils again as part of his plan to take over the Galaxy? Though, he will settle for a large slab of Fruit & Nut.

  18. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

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  19. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    I just put Deneuvienne into Google translate and it instantly came up with Extremely bangable

    No wonder the dog has no intention of shifting.

  20. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

  21. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Eff off Dublin you nonce.

    Helmet shaped creamers at the ready. It's Eric, Gropey, Sarky, and Raj.

    Red Bird up the duff.

    Catherine is going all gooey about babies.

    @wfcmoog Standby for action!!!

    The state of that dealer with the salts!!

    Portmeirion coffee set. Nice, be seeing you.
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2023 at 12:26 PM
  22. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    The Distraction is a veritable smut Goldmine.
  23. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player


    He flogs them a fire screen too.
  24. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    "Have you got room for 2" Gropey asks lustily, her eyes narrowing.

    Raj really enthusiastic and hopeful, Wow, fantastic, guaranteed profit are some of the adjectives used.

    Portmeirion bargain.

    Top heavy says Grabby as her eyes glaze over.
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2023 at 12:50 PM
  25. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    Raj's estimates are very optimistic
  26. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    People moan about Linekar and Zoe Ball, but it's Carloss who's really draining the BBC budget.
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  27. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    I was fascinated by the whole piece, but it was very confusing when I googled 'creampie contest'
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  28. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Unfortunately, everything is falling short.

    Catherine will have to work ultra-hard escorting this evening to make up that loss.
  29. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    Raj hasn't got a clue, has he?
  30. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Losing streak finally broken.

    Still no profits. Fire screen to the rescue?

    Finally, a profit. Decent one too.
  31. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    Raj is looking for 55 now 98200a5374d8e52a1bfb9e4c107230ca.jpg
  32. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Chocolate milkshake as a twin header. Evidently, Dorothy Perkins sells them.



    In Coxheath. A stirrer for stirring the custard.

    Sarky shoots and scores.
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2023 at 1:07 PM
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  33. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    Sarcy has done a good job today to be fair. The BB is the cherry on the cake.
    reg_varney likes this.
  34. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Raj, BHs Guy Ritchie?

    Is that a double-breasted sports jacket?
  35. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    The victim in his attic will be allowed to eat later in celebration.

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