1. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    BBC approved preamble:
    Ardingly 8
    Bargain HuntSeries 56
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000kjss
    Experts David Harper and Raj Bisram are guiding the reds and the blues around Ardingly Antiques Fair, before the teams take their items to auction. Natasha also visits an elaborate well, a gift from a Maharajah, opened in 1864.

    The Translation:
    Another day, another chance to visit Ardingly/Arding-lie at the Ardingly International Antiques and Collectors Fair in rain-drenched West Sussex (well it was last 2 times they were here in this series). Hoping to stay dry are Strict Natasha and her watertight rule book, Dayglo Dave, let's hope the colours in his trousers don't run and good ol' Dr. Evil. Not so good is that the Auction will be held at Save AreSouls in Newbury, with Tubby Thomas, the Billy Bunter of the Auction World. This Penny Pinching Paragon of Parsimony will almost guarantee minimal profits unless pigs fly, hell freezes over or Boris Johnson tells the truth.

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Strict Natasha Raskin Sharp
    [Red Team Expert] Raj Dr Evil Bisram
    [Blue Team Expert] Dayglo David Harper, the 'Boro 'Bano
    [Auctioneer] Tubby Thomas Forrester nee Plant, the plump schoolboy
    [Auction Location] SAS Newbury, should be SOS Newbury as profits will be in peril in this Miser Manor
    (Miserlin Rating: One Star)

    The Teams:
    [Red Team] Married couple, he's a competitive managing director, please fail and make us laugh. He doesn't even eat cheese. Tut-tut. She's very fussy and ultra annoying. Poor Raj.
    (Challenge: Contains Oak)
    [Blue Team] Married Brit Asian couple (Box ticked), he's an IT consultant, no stereotypes here.
    (Challenge: With a frame)

    Start.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    The Shopping:
    Reds: Georgian oak corner cupboard (35 Challenge) struggle, Christian Dior earrings (70) struggle, Georg Jensen silver spoon (90) OK
    Blues: Edward VII coronation silver photo frame (20 Challenge) OK, Moorcroft lamp (95) it's been cannibalised, major dud, Pair of Japanese Katani ware vases (95) OK.

    The Distraction:
    Natasha also visits an elaborate curry house called The Maharajah's Well in Stoke Row, which originally opened in 1964 and has kept the original decor including the peeling garish wallpaper, and a toilet that barely flushes. She orders a Chicken Madras, which has been marked with 2 chilli peppers. It barely makes her eyes water, so she contacts Trading Standards, and has it closed down.

    Distraction.jpg

    The Auction:
    Reds: Georgian oak corner cupboard (loss), Christian Dior earrings (loss), Georg Jensen silver spoon (largish loss)
    Raj's BB is a little fat Buddha scent bottle (40), 60-80, rub his belly for luck, the Buddha not Tubby Thomas, 40, evens stevens, feels like a win in Scrooge's parlour.

    Spoon.jpeg Buddha.jpeg

    Blues: Edward VII coronation silver photo frame (small profit), Moorcroft lamp (big loss), Pair of Japanese Katani ware vases (largish loss)
    Dayglo's BB are ancient Egyptian bronze surgical instruments (90), 40-60, 90 evens stevens.

    Lamp.jpeg Egyptian.jpeg

    The Aftermath:
    Moorcroft inspired and Japan vase disasters for Blues but they made the only profit for the day. Reds made losses across the board. Tubby Thomas wasn't great but at least put the effort into the ancient Egyptian artefacts to break even. What a bunch of tightwads AGAIN!

    RedLoss.jpeg BlueLoss.jpeg

    The Hi-Kick:
    Standard indoor kick. All more or less make par with Strict Natasha jumping the gun as always.

    HiKick2.jpg
     
  2. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    Absolute shambles today Reg. Sent to the antiques fair at closing time. Supposed to have an hour, but after 20 minutes most of the stalls were closed. Then off to Tubby Thomas' Tavern of Tighwads.

    Absolute farce. I won't be paying my licence fee this year.
     
    reg_varney likes this.
  3. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    I did like the well.
     
    reg_varney likes this.
  4. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    I wonder what's in the Golden Elephant. Is it stuffed with jewels? If it was made of solid gold it would be too heavy for someone to sneak off with. Even Tubby Thomas would struggle to sell it for a tenner.
     
  5. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    The word Tumbleweed was used during the Auction which made me chuckle.
     
  6. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    Dalek Winterton certainly knows how to conduct an Auction.
     
    wfcmoog likes this.
  7. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    BBC approved preamble:
    Shrewsbury 22
    Bargain HuntSeries 62
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001973p
    Caroline Hawley is in Shrewsbury, where experts Thomas Forrester and Mark Stacey lend a hand to the red and blue teams before they head to auction in Lichfield. Caroline learns about the history of tinplate toys.

    The Translation:
    Oh sh1te, it's a new BH with Foghorn Shoehorn, Headache Hawley as presenter. She'll probably be dressed up as Austin Powers again, puke-a-delic baby. Joining the sh1teshow in Shrewsbury will be SAS Tubby Thomas, the useless Auctioneer, and Sarky Marky. At least the Foghorn won't be Auctioneering and watching the profits disappear into a Black Hole, Auction duties will be undertaken by King Dalek Winterton, so at least a decent Auction in store.

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Caroline Hawley with her exclusive Technicolour yawn collection
    [Red Team Expert] Tubby Thomas Forrester, the plump schoolboy
    [Blue Team Expert] Sarky Marky Stacey, the sleazy, slurry somnambulist
    [Auctioneer] Richard Emperor Dalek Winterton
    [Auction Location] Skaro aka Lichfield, Staffs
    (Miserlin Rating: Unlisted)

    Start.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    The Teams:
    [Red Team] UK Asian (box ticked) Doctor Mother and actress daughter (resting obviously)
    (Challenge: Asian connection)
    [Blue Team] Retired Mother and Plod Son
    (Challenge: American connection)

    The Shopping:
    Reds: Japanese themed evening bag (40 Challenge) Struggle, Medical teaching aid (159) Struggle, Praktica SLR camera (28) half a chance.
    Blues: Set of boxed Sheffield silver-plated spoons (1) should be fine LOL, Brass US submarine plaque (20 Challenge) profit all day long, 1950s-style American pedal car (245) oh dear, way overspent LOL.

    The Distraction:
    Horror-voice Hawley shouts about the history of tinplate toys to go with ther tinpot presenting skills. Clockwork toys for her clockwork brain.

    Distraction.jpg

    The Auction:
    Reds: Japanese themed evening bag (loss), Medical teaching aid (biggish loss), Praktica SLR camera (loss)
    Tubby's BB is a 1920s mother-of pearl box (73), 30-50, probably will struggle, 80, a small Tubby profit. He bursts his trousers in triumph. Midnight feasts all-round.

    Medical.jpeg MotherOfPearlBox.jpeg

    Blues: Set of boxed Sheffield silver-plated spoons (nice profit), Brass US submarine plaque (nice profit), BB possible but not probable with the high risk next item, 1950s-style American pedal car (big loss)
    Sarky's BB is a silver-topped Edwardian umbrella (15), 15-25, Dalek likes it, 40, nice profit, well done Sarky.

    Car.jpeg Umbrella.jpeg

    The Aftermath:
    Red's eclectic mix, mis-directed by Tubby SOS Thomas, is a triple Tubby Dud. Well "experted" Tubby. Blues bargain spoons were counter-balanced with the severe overspend on the pedal car. Shame as their other items were well on the money. Big spends can be big pitfalls so care and caution are needed.

    RedLoss.jpeg BlueLoss.jpeg

    The Hi-Kick:
    Standard indoor Hi-Kick. Generally pretty good, Sarky and Blue Mum struggle to get to 45 but Hawley almost gets her foot into her huge gob and Blue Copper produces an excellent head shot, useful when you need to silence peaceful vigils.

    HiKick.jpg
     
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  8. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    BBC approved preamble:
    Shrewsbury 12
    Bargain HuntSeries 57
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000rpvn
    Natasha Raskin Sharp and experts Roo Irvine and Danny Sebastian go antiques hunting in Shrewsbury in Shropshire, before heading to East Yorkshire for today’s auction. Natasha has a mystery for the fairgoers to solve.

    The Translation:
    The mean streets of Shrewsbury are fertile ground for interior design crimes brewing at the Antiques and Collectables Tat Bazaar at the West Mid Showground. Pounding the beat are hardboiled Strict Natasha Raskin Sharp with her forensic knowledge of BH law, along with good cop Roo Irvine with her softly, softly approach and terrible cop Dan Dan Helium man, who sounds like he's in a choke hold before accidentally falling down some stairs that he found in a skip. Crimes against fashion are most evident at the the auction in East Yorks with Klaxon-voiced Caroline Hawley sporting the latest garments from the Mandlebrot collection. It looks like she lent one of her hideous jackets to the Squeak for this episode. Red Profit Warning in skinflinting Yorkshire.

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Strict Natasha Raskin Sharp and her rule book
    [Red Team Expert] Delightful Roo Irvine
    [Blue Team Expert] Squeak squeak squeak
    [Auctioneer] Caroline Headache Hawley pooouuunnnnddddssss thump
    [Auction Location] Beverley, East Yorks
    (Miserlin Rating: Approved)

    Start.jpg

    The Teams:
    [Red Team] Mixed sex partners, he picked her up while coach driving on the continent, she wears a stupid flat cap to hide her Aussie shame
    (Challenge: Carrying things)
    [Blue Team] Mixed sex partners, he's a kitchen manufacturer who follows Dirty Leeds, Booooooooooooo
    (Challenge: Four legs)

    The Shopping:
    Reds: WMF tazza cup (75 Challenge) struggle, Matroska Russian leader dolls (18) good, Theatre light and cannibalised stand (150) has interest, but might struggle
    Blues: Edwardian sampler/child mahogany chair (45 Challenge) OK, Victorian pitch pine bedding box (142) way overspent, hand of Squeak present, LOL, Victorian blue glass fire grenade (43) might struggle

    The Distraction:
    Mystery item. A Malt rake. Some info about making Malt for brewing.

    Distraction.jpg

    The Auction:
    Reds: WMF tazza cup (loss), Matroska Russian leader dolls (nice profit), Theatre light and cannibalised stand (big loss).
    Roo's BB is an Art Deco three-piece garniture (40), 60-80, even Foghorn should get a profit on this, 60. Another good item from Roo.

    RussianDolls.jpeg Garniture.jpeg

    Blues: Edwardian sampler/child mahogany chair (profit), Victorian pitch pine bedding box (big loss), Victorian blue glass fire grenade (loss).
    Squeaky's bit of tat, is an Art Nouveau brass trivet (12), 10-20, 24, it squeaks a profit.

    BeddingBox.jpeg Trivet.jpeg

    The Aftermath:
    Hawley's Auctions are always terrible, she has no clue about how to work a room and generate a bidding war or squeezing blood out of Yorkshire stone. Both experts made a profit, even The Squeak, with his trivet made out of Fool's Gold. Both teams had the big overspend items which both made big losses. Good to see Danny's misdirection coming to the fore with an overpriced piece of wooden tat. You couldn't resist it could you!

    RedLoss.jpeg BlueLoss.jpeg

    The Hi-Kick:
    Outdoor Covid diagonal on uneven grass. Blues and Squeaky below par, everyone else above par.

    HiKick.jpg
     
  9. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    BBC approved preamble:
    Southwell 2
    Bargain HuntSeries 62
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0019fdt
    Roo Irvine visits Southwell Racecourse, where experts Izzie Balmer and Nick Hall find valuable items to sell at auction with Colin Young. Roo learns about a forgotten industry, tin box manufacturing.

    The Translation:
    Today's confected episode of BH is at Southwell/Southall Racecourse. Proceedings are under the direction of Turkish Delight Roo Irvine, full of Eastern promise, helped along with Dizzy Izzie dressed as a licquorice allsort and old fashioned mint humbug Plaidy Nick Hall. The Auction will be at PennyPinchers, Lincs with Colin RapidFire Young, the Parma Violet that nobody wants.

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Delightful Roo Irvine
    [Red Team Expert] Izzie Lizzie Barmy Balmer
    [Blue Team Expert] Nick Plaid All Over Hall
    [Auctioneer] Colin Rapido Young, Rick Wakeman variant
    [Auction Location] Golding Young & Mawer, Lincs
    (Miserlin Rating: Approved)

    Start.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    The Teams:
    [Red Team] UK Asian (box ticked) brother and sister, he's a doctor, she's a financial accountant, I gueesed she wasn't a turf accountant, no stereotypes here.
    (Challenge: Decorative Victorian)
    [Blue Team] Retired (or nearly) friends, he's a van driver.
    (Challenge: Mainland Europe)

    The Shopping:
    Reds: Pair of decorative brass candlesticks (70 Challenge) Struggle, Victorian silver turquoise tortoise (Challenge 45) good, 20th century eastern cabinet (75) probably not
    Blues: West German fat larva vase (38 Challenge) struggle, 3 Bohemium cut-glass Tantalus (155) struggle, Pair of silver topped floral ceramic vases (20) OK

    The Distraction:
    Tin box manufacturing and collecting. Some nice nostalgic items.

    Distraction.jpg

    The Auction:
    Reds: Pair of decorative brass candlesticks (loss), Victorian silver turquoise tortoise (small loss), 20th century eastern cabinet (largish loss).
    Dizzy's BB is an Arts ad Crafts metal biscuit tin (30), 25-40, 18, Scrooge lives. Bad day for Dizzy.

    Tortoise.jpeg BiscuitTin.jpeg

    Blues: West German fat larva vase (loss), 3 Bohemium cut-glass Tantalus (big loss), Pair of silver topped floral ceramic vases (good profit).
    Plaidy's BB is a Jensen-style Danish silver dolphin brooch (20), 25-40, good chance should be a profit, 52, excellent work Plaidster.

    Vases.jpeg Brooch.jpeg

    The Aftermath:
    The Reds did choose some crap items for their Grand Slam of losses. Dizzie Izzie wasn't much help and the contestants were clueless. Blues faired better with Nick Hall's guidance, they made the only profits today including Plaidy's excellent purchase showing that he knows his stuff. The Auction was all online so you need to be canny with your purchases. Rick Wakeman did try with the Tantalus by asking it to be shown for the camera which did increase the bidding. Still made a big loss though.

    RedLoss.jpeg BlueLoss.jpeg

    The Hi-Kick:
    Indoor Covid diagonal with everyone, bar the useless Reds, hitting par (more or less).

    HiKick.jpg
     
  10. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    BBC approved preamble:
    Carmarthen 29
    Bargain HuntSeries 53
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0005q1b
    On today’s Bargain Hunt, Eric Knowles visits Castell Coch, a fairytale castle near Cardiff, where one man’s dream and another man’s vivid imagination run wild to create a gothic fantasy folly. The reds and blues are in the National Botanic Gardens of Wales trying to unearth some bargains with new expert Ochuko Ojiri and regular Jonathan Pratt – but which team will make the biggest profit at auction?

    The Translation:
    Back in Wales, Uncle Eric heads off to National Botanic Gardens of Wales, Carmarthen, with bright sunflower Commando Chuko and rubber plant JP Pratt, the walking embodiment of a Public School education. Auction is with Ben Rogers Jones, he of the Dour-Jones index, at the Cardiff Misers Emporium, HQ of the South Wales Hoarderers and their anthem Den of Shylock. Doom and gloom all round.

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Uncle Eric Knowles, steady Eddie
    [Red Team Expert] Ochuko Commando Chuko Ojiri, commando on top, let's hope he's not commando below.
    [Blue Team Expert] Gently effeminate Jonathan JP Pratt with his Tory boy fashion style
    [Auctioneer] Ben Rogers Jones, John Hartson's waxwork
    [Auction Location] Rogers Jones & Co Fine Art Auctioneers, Cardiff
    (Miserlin Rating: One Star)

    Start.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    The Teams:
    [Red Team] Flirty grandmother and granddaughter, Chuko gives Grandma a piggy back ride, at least it wasn't the other way round, that would be really grim.
    (Challenge: Nature)
    [Blue Team] Retired postman father and young nag daughter
    (Challenge: Art Deco)

    The Shopping:
    Reds: Damaged 1920s globe (58) struggle, Ceramic leopard (23 Challenge) OK, Art Deco bronze bust and weird duck (75) overspent.
    Blues: Distressed wooden stepladder (28) maybe, Vintage fishing creel (100) oh dear, Art Deco clock (40 Challenge) might struggle.

    The Distraction:
    Castell Coch, a fairytale castle near Cardiff. Sounds like the ideal place for the Tory leadership candidates to hold their hustings, Lady Bute's Bedroom is the inspiration for the No 10 flat. The monkeys on the bed are modelled on Grand Fibber Johnson and Carrie Antoinette.

    Distraction.jpg

    The Auction:
    Reds: Damaged 1920s globe (small loss), Ceramic leopard (small profit), Art Deco bronze bust and weird duck (small loss).
    Chuko's BB is a hand carved wooden mustard spoon (8), 15-25, bargain or in with a shout from dour Ben, 22, well done Chuko, good work.

    Bust.jpeg MustardSpoon.jpeg

    Blues: Distressed wooden stepladder (small loss), Vintage fishing creel (loss), Art Deco clock (small loss).
    JP's BB is a Kashmir kashkul begging bowl (38), 30-40, 70, nice profit JP.

    Creel.jpeg Bowl.jpeg

    The Aftermath:
    Welsh Misers Emporium strikes again. Chuko's directed Reds make a small profit and Tory Boy's Blues make a small loss, thanks to both experts purchases. John Hartson is not the most charismatic Auctioneer which he doubles with being a nightclub bouncer.

    RedWin.jpeg BlueLoss.jpeg

    The Hi-Kick:
    Standard indoor kick. As par as par can be, but uncoordinated. JP imagines he's putting the boot into a beggar after he's stolen their bowl for Auction.

    HiKick.jpg
     
  11. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    How did JP let them pay 100 quid for that fishing basket? Absolute nutters. They did well not to lose more.

    That begging bowl did well though. JP might have made a case for himself to not be the absolute worst expert on BH.

    Sent from my SM-S908B using Tapatalk
     
    reg_varney likes this.
  12. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    David Middlesbrough Montie Bonko Harper has had a nightmare today.

    They should have an experts league, because that performance was relegation worthy.

    Gary Pe steady, mid table fare.

    Auction was not generous, but was fair I thought. The money spent on that eagle and that pen was farcical.

    Sent from my SM-S908B using Tapatalk
     
    reg_varney likes this.
  13. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    Awful arrogant auctioneering arseh0le. Turned his nose up at almost everything. Surprised he didn't put gloves on before touching the items.
     
  14. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    Not the highest of bars. LOL.
     
  15. Guy

    Guy Squad Player

    I live in Billingshurst where JP based and he valued a few paintings which we put up for sale. Seemed a nice bloke.
    Not great at picking bargains from what I've seen and on Antiques Road Trip very reluctant to haggle .
     
    reg_varney likes this.
  16. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    BBC approved preamble:
    Liverpool 27
    Bargain HuntSeries 55
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000g08w
    Today’s Bargain Hunt comes from Liverpool with Christina Trevanion. Experts David Harper and Gary Pe are guiding today’s reds and blues around the Liverpool Antiques Centre before taking their three buys to auction. Christina finds out about Audubon’s magnificent Birds of America books, which are on display in Liverpool’s central library.

    The Translation:
    It's time to calm down as we head off to L'pool, cityport of thieves. Uncle Eric has done previous episodes in this series here but for some reason has been replaced with the sultry Christina. Who's complaining? Today she is joined by Gary Pee Pee and Dayglo Dave at the Liverpool Antiques Centre. She tosses with the crew in a private bet to settle the means of ascending St John's large erection. The Auction is down the road with Arrogant Adam. He turns his nose up at most of the items. How dare they bring him a load of tat.

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Bomb de sexe Christina Trevanion.
    [Red Team Expert] Gary PeePee, Bonus Buyus Bizarrus Sh1ttus
    [Blue Team Expert] Dayglo David Harper, the Teeside Tat Trouserer
    [Auctioneer] Adam Aha Partridge, your snuff box is about 30 mil from my gland.
    [Auction Location] Livermoan
    (Miserlin Rating: Approved)

    Start.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    The Teams:
    [Red Team] Professional Brit Asian (Box ticked) father and daughter
    (Challenge: Retro)
    [Blue Team] Best female friends, ones a florist, stand by for screeching, oh no giggling girlies.
    (Challenge: Musical connection)

    The Shopping:
    Reds: Chinese lacquered stand (95) maybe, Retro M&S Melamine tray (8 Challenge) bargain, Art Nouveau-style Lustre vase (35) OK.
    Blues: 1950's boxed Tea set (15) OK, Tribal bongo drums (28 Challenge) OK, Hand carved marble eagle lamp (140), oh dear it's alabaster not marble, way overpaid.

    The Distraction:
    Audubon’s magnificent Birds of America books which later became Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. Next time Liverpool’s central library will be showing us their stunning collection of 1970s Whitehouse from David Sullivan's personal collection. I wonder if Sonic Youth did a song about that.

    Distraction.jpg

    The Auction:
    Reds: Chinese lacquered stand (biggish loss), Retro M&S Melamine tray (nice profit), Art Nouveau-style Lustre vase (small profit).
    Gary's BB is a metal theatre prop chair (20), 20-40, 20, evens stevens.

    Tray.jpeg Chair.jpeg

    Blues: 1950's boxed Tea set (small loss), Tribal bongo drums (small profit), Hand carved marble eagle lamp (big loss).
    Dayglo's BB is a boxed silver Tiffany pen (100), 30-50, LOL, snidey cackles like Ebeneezer, 70, a loss as he bought with his heart rather his head. A nice item but overpaid for it.

    EagleLamp.jpeg Pen.jpeg

    The Aftermath:
    What an arseh0le that Auctioneer is. Sarcastic, flippant, turns his nose up at everything, almost as sniffy as Rees-Kirk. He doesn't understand the point of the show is take pick ordinary items and sell them at the profit, not snear at them because they're tat. So what if it is! His disdain of them during the Auction was really annoying. Probably the worst of the male Auctioneers, makes Tubby Thomas seem like Hanson. Mind that lamp was godawful. Dayglo had a disaster but Gary did OK. He is the definition of steady Eddy with a BB brainfart moment to make things interesting at times.

    RedLoss.jpeg BlueLoss.jpeg

    The Hi-Kick:
    Standard indoor quick kick, so par not quite reached as it was a bit rushed for some reason.

    HiKick.jpg
     
  17. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    As a paid up bedwetter, I enjoyed his demeaning sneering at the items.

    Sent from my SM-S908B using Tapatalk
     
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  18. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    Teesside monkbonko David Harper has fully redeemed himself with that silver partridge. Outstanding to get a big profit from that auction room.

    The teams made appalling purchases and the vendors at the fair were stingy with their prices and discounts. I'm surprised that there wasn't more lost tbh.

    The auction was crap. Hawley carping on at the rostrum to a room full of day trippers having lunch or coffee. None of them bidding.

    Hanson, as usual, makes no allowances for the fact that the prices he's able to weave with his magical gavel cannot be replicated at other more miserly auction houses.

    Sent from my SM-S908B using Tapatalk
     
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  19. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    Christ-on-a-bike. Hawley is appallingly bad. At least Dayglo Dave salvaged his reputation with that Partridge.
     
  20. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    BBC approved preamble:
    Wetherby 20
    Bargain HuntSeries 55
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000gghp
    Charles Hanson and David Harper are on hand to help the reds and blues as they hunt for bargains at Wetherby Racecourse in West Yorkshire. Charlie Ross challenges fairgoers to guess his mystery item. Will anyone know what it is?

    The Translation:
    Break out the HRT as we have 2 sets of mature females on today. Meanwhile, t1tty the posh t1t, Charl-eh is once again back at a Yorkshire Racecourse, this time it's at Wetherby in West Yorks. Calming him down with his Laudanum are Dayglo Dave wearing his cannabis shirt and Bonkers Hanson, who needs no drugs himself, he just runs around the racecourse to let off steam like a demented Spaniel. WARNING TO PROFITS. As it's Yorkshire it probably means it's the walking air-raid siren, Caroline Hawley dressed like a colour blind Scot allowed to dress themselves, or a middle-aged American let loose in Edinburgh Woolen Mill. My fears are confirmed.

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Omnifool Charl-eh Ross
    [Red Team Expert] Charles The Suit That Launched A Thousand Deckchairs Hanson
    [Blue Team Expert] Dayglo David Harper, the Teeside Tat Trouserer
    [Auctioneer] Caroline Headache Hawley pooouuunnnnddddssss thump
    [Auction Location] Beverley, East Yorks
    (Miserlin Rating: Approved)

    Start.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    The Teams:
    [Red Team] Best female friends and mothers-in-Law
    (Challenge: Carry things)
    [Blue Team] Medical best female friends
    (Challenge: Sporting connection)

    The Shopping:
    Reds: Art Nouveau tray (99 Challenge) may struggle, Silver pig page marker (100) may struggle, Moorcroft-style Jean Coles floral vase (29) OK.
    Blues: 19th Century Barbers Chair (80) struggle, Early 20th Century riding boots (70 Challenge) OK, Art Deco Bakelite Bush radio (30) OK.
    Let's face it, it's Hawley, all items could struggle.

    The Distraction:
    Involves Charlie fiddling with his pole. After twirling it around and flashing it at various punters he finds his head is spinning. His eyes glaze over and he falls asleep with his pole exposed before the police arrive to cart him off. Before you know it, he's auctioning in the nonce wing of a Yorkshire Big House.

    Distraction.jpg

    The Auction:
    Reds: Art Nouveau tray (biggish loss), Silver pig page marker (profit), Moorcroft-style Jean Coles floral vase (loss).
    Hanson's Spunk-it-up-the-wall folly?, yes it is a bit, Mahogany cradle (70), 50-80, 30, LOL, useless Hawley.

    Tray.jpeg Cradle.jpeg

    Blues: 19th Century Barbers Chair (loss), Early 20th Century riding boots (loss), Art Deco Bakelite Bush radio (evens stevens).
    Dayglo Dave comes back with a continental silver patridge (100) nice object but getting the misers to spend that amount, probably not, Hawley estimates 100-150, telephone and internet bids, 180. You saved yourself after yesterday's fiasco Dayglo. Luckily, the misers in the room didn't get their hands on it.

    Radio.jpeg Partridge.jpeg

    The Aftermath:
    Isn't Hawley absolutely awful, hollering like a demented fish wife in her Auction room of Yorkshire skinflints. She'd struggle to sell ice cold beer to a man dying of thirst. Thanks to Dayglo, the Blues managed to make a profit despite Hawleys efforts. Reds had some nice objects which should have fared better but were doomed under Hawley's direction.

    RedLoss.jpeg BlueWin.jpeg

    The Hi-Kick:
    Standard indoor Hi-Kick. All get over 90 bar one of the Reds. A good effort.

    HiKick.jpg
     
  21. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    BBC approved preamble:
    Sawbridgeworth 7
    Bargain HuntSeries 62
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0019fmv
    Eric Knowles and experts Colin Young and Raj Bisram are in Sawbridgeworth, Hertfordshire, to go shopping for antiques with the red and blue teams. They are hoping for big profits when they head to the auction in Norfolk. Eric takes a trip down the road to the Harlow Museum to see an amazing collection of rare bicycles from around the world.

    The Translation:
    Uncle Eric is in homely Herts, in some empty antiques showroom in Sawbridgeworth. He rambles about rocking horses and bicycles giving us a clue about the later Distraction. Today he is assisted by slow puncture, Rick Wakeman turning his hand at experting rather than gavelling, while the playing cards held on with clothes pegs to flick against the spokes, is provided by Dr Evil Bisram. Ah, the Auction is in Norfolk, so it could be the excellent Auntie Liz, she was great when she was on before, with a good sense of humour, looks like an old maid but could well be a swinger according to Moog.

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Uncle Eric Knowles, super safe pair of hands
    [Red Team Expert] Colin Rick Wakeman Young
    [Blue Team Expert] Raj Dr Evil Bisram
    [Auctioneer] Elizabeth Talbot, sounds like and looks like a Jane Austen extra. Auntie Liz.
    [Auction Location] Diss, Norfolk twinned with Datt in Germany
    (Miserlin Rating: Unlisted)

    Start.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    The Teams:
    [Red Team] Married couple from Cambs, both Research scientists with Chemistry backgrounds, How did you meet? What a stupid question. Bleedin' obvious isn't it.
    (Challenge: Chain)
    [Blue Team] Mother and son UK Asian (Box ticked), he's into horse riding
    (Challenge: Sporting connection)

    The Shopping:
    Reds: Vintage handcuffs (32 Challenge) struggle, 20th Century Globe (110) could well struggle, Retro clock on a rope aka hanging wall clock (15) Good buy.
    Blues: Birmingham lead fire marker (30) good, Elliott's Of London, Chinoiserie Mantel Clock (190) oof estimated at 40-60, Box of 7 vintage discuses or is it discii (50) might be OK.

    The Distraction:
    Uncle Eric is off to the Harlow Cycle museum. Here he gets a boneshaker followed by a kneetrembler and goes tandem with the curator. Exhausting work.

    Distraction.jpg

    The Auction:
    Reds: Vintage handcuffs (small loss), 20th Century Globe (biggish loss), Retro clock on a rope aka hanging wall clock (nice profit).
    Rick's BB is a Humby razor in a box (8), 5-10, let's see she's never sold one before, 28, nice profit. A bit of Lazyitus from Rick as it was the first item they looked at, but it did make a profit.

    Globe.jpeg Razor.jpeg

    Blues: Birmingham lead fire marker (small profit), Elliott's Of London, Chinoiserie Mantel Clock (big loss), Box of 7 vintage discuses or is it discii (small loss).
    Raj's BB is a set of 3 Indian silver items (30), 15-25, 18, a small loss from Raj. Unlucky.

    Clock.jpeg IndianSilver.jpeg

    The Aftermath:
    Auntie Liz bang on the estimates again, she's good, I do like her. Both teams made big losses on their Big Spend items which they heavily overspent on. It's always difficulty buying in these deserted Antique Centres because the haggling is done through a third party and the range of items available to buy seems to be more restricted.

    RedLoss.jpeg BlueLoss.jpeg

    The Hi-Kick:
    Indoor Covid diagonal kick. Dear oh dear. I real half-arsed effort with only Rick Wakeman hitting par. Even the reliable Uncle Eric is off-form.

    HiKIck.jpg
     
  22. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    I think naughty librarian Liz is a solid auctioneer. Clear bid calling, nice timing, good gavel action. She's got a pretty **** audience though.

    Still, Colin is looking like Howard Hughes during his piss bottle years.

    Sent from my SM-S908B using Tapatalk
     
    reg_varney likes this.
  23. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    BBC approved preamble:
    York
    Bargain HuntSeries 49-52 (Extended Versions) Episode 3 of 15
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0019n4j
    Natasha Raskin Sharp and the teams are in York with experts Tim Weeks and Colin Young. Natasha takes a trip to the National Railway Museum to look at some items in their extensive collection.

    The Translation:
    It's double bubble with a 60 minute double header from York, which will mean a trip to the National Railway Museum at some point. So it's 2 sets of contestants but the same presenting/experting/auctioning staff with Strict Natasha, Timpole Weeks, Rick Wakeham (short-haired) and Rob Lee. There's lots to get through so let's crack on.

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Strict Natasha Raskin Sharp and her rule book.
    [Red Team Expert] Tim Timpole Tudor Wunderbar Weeks
    [Blue Team Expert] Colin Young, pre-Rick Wakeman
    [Auctioneer] Rob Lee, "Yorkshire, Yorkshire, Yorkshire!!!!"
    [Auction Location] Sheffield
    (Miserlin Rating: Approved)

    Start1.jpg

    The Teams 1:
    [Red Team] Sisters, one of them was training to be a vet but became a thesp instead and a wannabe stand-up comic. Don't give up the day job.
    [Blue Team] Female Best Friends, never done nothing blondes who were student nurses in Leeds.

    Teams1.jpg

    The Shopping 1:
    Reds: Chester Silver Pen tray (85) might struggle, Novelty croc nutcracker (18) OK, 1950s Toucan brooch (10) OKish
    Blues: Silver topped hat-pin jar (50), Lustre set of jug and 4 bowls (30), Set of 12 1950s Costume jewellery brooches (50)
    Silver topped hat-pin jar (50) OK, Lustre set of jug and 4 bowls (30) might struggle, Set of 12 1950s Costume jewellery brooches (50) struggle. Welcome to Yorkshire.

    The Auction 1:
    Reds: Chester Silver Pen tray (evens stevens), Novelty croc nutcracker (small profit), 1950s Toucan brooch (small profit) not quite a Golden Gavel.
    Treepants BB is a Lorna Bailey comical dog figurine (20), 20-30, might tempt the Yorkshire Steptoes, 28. Spongehair strikes again.
    Blues: Silver topped hat-pin jar (loss), Lustre set of jug and 4 bowls (loss), Set of 12 1950s Costume jewellery brooches (loss). Welcome to Yorkshire.
    Colin's BB is a Georgian York Silver rum decanter label (156), cough splutter, in Yorkshire LOL, probably not, 50-80, ouch, might need a drink, 120, a loss but not as bad as it could have been.

    Shopping1.jpg

    The Aftermath 1:
    Reds get an overall profit and almost sneak a Golden Gavel with some good guidance from Wunderbar Weeks. Meanwhile, Blues make a sizeable loss, no profits, and a Hanson-inspired BB folly. Hang your head in shame Rick Wakeman.

    Aftermath1.jpg

    The Hi-Kick:
    Not shown. Booooooooooooo.

    The Distraction:
    A George Cross awarded to an engine driver recently purchased by the National Railway Museum.

    Distraction.jpg

    The Teams 2:
    [Red Team] Bradford married couple. Nuff said.
    [Blue Team] Altrincham married couple. Nuff said.

    Teams2.jpg

    The Shopping 2:
    Reds: Clockwork dancing bear (34) OK, Brass fly vesta (17) OK, Edwardian silver pepper pot (29) might struggle
    Blues: 1980s Zenit EM Olympic camera (18) OK, Football cards book (11) OK, Birmingham silver matchbox cover (20) might struggle

    The Auction 2:
    Reds: Clockwork dancing bear (loss), Brass fly vesta (nice profit), Edwardian silver pepper pot (nice profit)
    Treepants BB is a a Beswick cat playing a guitar (20), 20-30, 15, a small loss, unlucky Tim, it should have made a profit.
    Blues: 1980s Zenit EM Olympic camera (small profit), Football cards book (1 pound loss), Birmingham silver matchbox cover (profit), so close to a Golden Gavel.
    Colin's BB is a Chinese panel turned into a letterbox (130), not another folly LOL, 50-70, 60, yup another Rick overspend.

    Shopping2.jpg

    The Aftermath 2:
    Reds get a small overall profit with a bit of an up-and-down auction including a small loss-maker from Weeks. Once again another Hanson-style folly from Rick Wakeman, wiping out all profits. What a crap letterbox, what a crap result.

    Overall2.jpg

    The Hi-Kick 2:
    Standard indoor kick, A real mixed bag with some not trying.

    HiKick.jpg
     
  24. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    Two really sh1te overpriced Hansonesque follies from Colin Young. Profits straight down the plughole.
     
    wfcmoog likes this.
  25. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    BBC approved preamble:
    Newark 9
    Bargain HuntSeries 62
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0019q3g
    Natasha Raskin Sharp and the teams go antiques-hunting in Nottinghamshire with experts Ben Cooper and Izzie Balmer, before heading to Derby for today’s auction. Natasha visits the International Bomber Command Centre in Lincoln to learn of an Allied mission to save nearly one million Dutch lives.

    The Translation:
    Strict Natasha is at the International Antiques Collectors Fair in Newark Notts for the latest tat bazaar for the bizarre, and as Hanson is involved, quite possibly a bizarre blazer too. Carlos Wispa (usually poor) and Dizzy Izzy (sometimes good and sometimes not so good) lend a "helping" hand. Auction is with Charles Hanson who can squeeze a profit out of a stone, so there is always a chance with him.

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Strict Natasha Raskin Sharp
    [Red Team Expert] Ben Cooper, the Poundshop George Michael
    [Blue Team Expert] Dizzie Izzie Barmy Balmer
    [Auctioneer] Charles Hanson, The Phineas T Barnum of the Auction World
    [Auction Location] Hanson Auction House, Derbys
    (Miserlin Rating: Unlisted)

    Start.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    The Teams:
    [Red Team] Slaphead father and daughter are here for fun.
    (Challenge: Makers mark)
    [Blue Team] Royal lover-mother and wheelchair-bound son (box ticked) UK Asian (box ticked) who's into toys and gets carried away.
    (Challenge: Vintage puzzle or game)

    The Shopping:
    Reds: George III glass ale jug (140) oofff way overpriced according to Charles, Victorian miner's lamp (38 Challenge) might struggle, Hairdressers chair (85) fingers crossed
    Blues: Wisdom of Kung Fu TV series card game (Challenge 30) OK, Gold-plated hunters pocket watch locket (75) ouch may have overpaid, Brass and onyx nest of tables (65), overpaid again

    The Distraction:
    International Bomber Command Centre, Operation Manna, dropping food supplies over Holland in 1945 when the Dutch were being starved by the Nazis. Impressive memorial there.

    Distraction.jpg

    The Auction:
    Reds: George III glass ale jug (nice profit), Victorian miner's lamp (small loss), Hairdressers chair (biggish loss).
    Poundshop George's BB is a Georgian silver belt buckle (20), 20-30, bargain says Hanson, 25, small profit for Benny.

    GlassJug.jpeg Buckle.jpeg

    Blues: Wisdom of Kung Fu TV series card game (loss), Gold-plated hunters pocket watch locket (loss), Brass and onyx nest of tables (loss).
    Izzie Squeakie's BB is Vicrorian double-ended scent bottle (60), Hanson enjoys a double-ender, 60-80, he's excited, 70, it makes a tenner. Dizzie done good.

    KungFuCards.jpeg DoubleEnder.jpeg

    The Aftermath:
    Reds poorly guided by Poundshop George was his usual erratic suck it and see, it's not my money, self. Very lucky that Hanson was auctioning that jug as it could have nosedived badly in the wrong hands. Blues were very unfocused and Dizzie was getting very frustrated and squeaky. Good job Dan The Squeak wasn't also there as, in unison, they would have triggered the dogs of Britain to howl insanely. Their items were overpriced and even the magic of Hanson couldn't save them.

    RedLoss.jpeg BlueLoss.jpeg

    The Hi-Kick:
    Indoor Covid diagonal kick. George Michael seems to be doing the old bamboo with imaginary braces, Red bloke does an impressive head shot, even beating Strict Natasha, while the wheelchair at the far end obscures what Dizzie is up to.

    HiKIck.jpg
     
  26. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    BBC approved preamble:
    Gloucester 4
    Bargain HuntSeries 56
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000k4d9
    Charlie Ross is in Gloucester for today’s Bargain Hunt, which comes from the Gloucester Antiques Centre. The reds and blues are shopping for antiques with experts Kate Bliss and Charles Hanson, while Charlie learns about astronomer William Herschel, who discovered the planet Uranus.

    The Translation:
    Stinking Bishop Charl-eh Ross is in Double Gloucester for some cheesey tat hunting where he is joined by a mature Trilly Bliss and the Sage from Derby himself, Charles Bugger me Blazers Hanson. God knows who the Auctioneer will be in that part of the country. Ah, it's Spongehair Treepants Weeks. Good omens.

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Omnifool Charlie Ross, a Hugh Janus fan
    [Red Team Expert] Charles Amazing Technicolour Dreamblazer Hanson
    [Blue Team Expert] Kate Shrilly Trilly Bliss, so posh it hurts
    [Auctioneer] Tim Timpole Tudor Wunderbar Weeks
    [Auction Location] Wessex Auction Rooms
    (Miserlin Rating: Unlisted)

    Start.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    The Teams:
    [Red Team] Best retired female friends who are in the community choir.
    (Challenge: a neck or can be worn on the neck)
    [Blue Team] Nest nursing female friends.
    (Challenge: Has a face)

    The Shopping:
    Reds: Art Deco silver pepperette (28) OK, Silver cat whistle and rattle (75 Challenge) ouch overspent, Boxed Poole pottery dishes (24) OK.
    Blues: Victorian Arts and Crafts silver vesta (70) might struggle, 9ct treble clef Peridot brooch (75) struggle, 9ct Gold watch (37 Challenge) OK.

    The Distraction:
    Even since boarding school, Charl-eh has always had a soft spot for Uranus. He gets out his old telescope, which has seen better days, gives the aperture a good old polish and gets it fully extended to probe the gaping chasm, his target is appropriated and his blood pressure soars, he starts seeing stars, his head spins, his eyes glaze over, and he passes out post-congress.

    Distraction.jpg

    The Auction:
    Reds: Art Deco silver pepperette (small profit), Silver cat whistle and rattle (biggish loss), Boxed Poole pottery dishes (nice profit).
    Charles scrubbed and topless BB is a pine formica-topped farmhouse table (150), 120-180, is it a folly?, drum-roll, 110, yup, Hanson folly.

    PoolePottery.jpeg Table.jpeg

    Blues: Victorian Arts and Crafts silver vesta (loss), 9ct treble clef Peridot brooch (biggish loss), 9ct Gold watch (nice profit).
    Trilly's BB is a 9ct gold (Trilly tick) vintage car tie-pin (20), 20-30, 42, nice profit Trilly.

    GoldWatch.jpeg TiePin.jpeg

    The Aftermath:
    Both teams make losses. Hanson managed to wipeout any hopes of victory with another folly item. A huge s0dd1ng table.

    RedLoss.jpeg BlueLoss.jpeg

    The Hi-Kick:
    Standard indoor kick. The mature ladies just about reach par, Trilly just about lifts her foot up, Charl-eh's up there as usual, and Charles Hanson is so late with his kick that it appears next week.

    HiKick.jpg
     
  27. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    Hanson strikes again. That formica-topped table. LOL.
     
  28. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    BBC approved preamble:
    Peterborough 15
    Bargain HuntSeries 52 Episode 28 of 32
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m00049sd
    Two dads and their daughters take on the Bargain Hunt challenge at Peterborough’s Festival of Antiques. They’ll be joined by experts Jonathan Pratt and Nick Hall, but which team will prove victorious at today auction over in Lichfield. Eric Knowles visits Birmingham’s Coffin Works Museum, which provided the coffin furniture for the Winston Churchill and the Queen Mother.

    The Translation:
    Return to Pikeyborough, Uncle Eric gingerly presents from PeeBorough's Festival of Antiques, before he has to check that his wallet and car haven't gone missing. Joining him in the former Roman Khazi are gently effeminate JP and Keir Starmer's Poppet, Nick Plaid-U-Like Hall. Excellent, it's the Dalek's Auction in Lichfield so should be a good one.

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Uncle Eric Knowles, Steady Eddie
    [Red Team Expert] Nick Plaid All Over Hall, Keir Starmer Reds
    [Blue Team Expert] Gently effeminate Jonathan JP Pratt with his Tory boy fashion style, Tory Blues
    [Auctioneer] Richard Supreme Dalek Winterton
    [Auction Location] Skaro aka Lichfield, Staffs
    (Miserlin Rating: Unlisted)

    Start.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    The Teams:
    [Red Team] Droning retired father and daughter, he loves driving and droning, they won't be spending big
    (Challenge: ) None, earlier Series 52
    [Blue Team] Father and daddy's girl, UK Asian (Box ticked), he was a former magistrate, luckily Strict Natasha isn't there to lock horns
    (Challenge: ) None, earlier Series 52

    The Shopping:
    Reds: Burmantofts art pottery vase (99) might struggle, Metal kitchen stand/rack (29) might struggle, Industrial shelving unit (55) struggle again.
    Blues: 9ct Gold Cello brooch (38) OK, Boxed set of Scandi silver coasters (135) might struggle, Shelley porcelain coffee service (38) might struggle.

    The Distraction:
    Coffin Works museum. Fancy embellishments for wooden suits. Something for Charl-eh perhaps. A day out for Dracula and his mates. Plenty going on here for the Tory undead before they vote for their leader.

    Distraction.jpg

    The Auction:
    Reds: Burmantofts art pottery vase (biggish loss), Metal kitchen stand/rack (loss), Industrial shelving unit (biggish loss) a tenner LOL.
    Plaidy's BB is a Bretby Art Jardinière (minus pedestal) (20), 15-25, OK, 15, off-day for Plaidy.

    IndustrialTat.jpeg Pot.jpeg

    Blues: 9ct Gold Cello brooch (nice profit), Boxed set of Scandi silver coasters (loss), Shelley porcelain coffee service (small loss).
    JP's BB is a Stuart crystal water jug (18), 10-15, Dalek says he's being meeeeeaaaannnnnn, 20, 2 notes profit. OK from JP.

    CelloBrooch.jpeg GlassJug.jpeg

    The Aftermath:
    Dalek bang on with his estimates as usual. Plaidy has an off-day. JP was suitably conservative. Some of those items were sh1te. Both teams make a loss.

    RedLoss.jpeg BlueLoss.jpeg

    The Hi-Kick:
    Standard indoor kick. All slightly below par. Just like this episode.

    HIKIck.jpg
     
  29. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    Great Bonus Buy from Steph in Miserly Yorkshire and yet another TubbyDud.
     
    wfcmoog likes this.
  30. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    BBC approved preamble:
    Wrexham 26
    Bargain HuntSeries 62
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0019mkg
    Charlie Ross heads to Bryn Y Grog Antiques Centre in Wrexham. With expert help on hand from Thomas Forrester and Stephanie Connell, the teams go head-to-head to see who can buy the most profitable three items to take to auction. Charlie hops over the English border to find out about the history of salt production in Cheshire.

    The Translation:
    Back to the newly crowned city of Wrexham and the Bryn Y Grog Antiques Centre. Perhaps they'll take up on some fish and chips later with batter brain Charlie Ross who's a bit of a Sole, Tubby Thomas, the marrowfat mushy peas, and our Steph as a very nice piece of plaice. The very sour vinegar will be the very traditional South Yorks Auction with Sheffield's Rob Lee. Profits will be at a premium.

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Omnifool Charl-eh Ross
    [Red Team Expert]
    [Blue Team Expert] Stephanie Connell, the Cockermouth Cumbrian, the Auction-world state-educated trailblazer, poster girl for The 93% Tubby Thomas Forrester nee Plant, the plump schoolboy
    [Auctioneer] Rob Lee, "Yorkshire, Yorkshire, Yorkshire!!!!"
    [Auction Location] Sheffield Auction Galleries
    (Miserlin Rating: One Star)

    Start.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    The Teams:
    [Red Team] Male student, you know like, friends
    (Challenge: First half of the 20th Century)
    [Blue Team] Mixed couple, he with a stupid hat, "GET YOUR HAIR CUT!!!!!" They're kinda crazy!!!!
    (Challenge: Second half of the 20th Century)

    The Shopping:
    Reds: 8mm film projector with Charlie Chaplin film (45) might struggle, Wilts regiment silver vesta case (50 Challenge) might be OK, Edison Bell Gramophone (110) might be OK but probably not in skinflinting Yorkshire.
    Blues: 1991 Sheffield silver-framed mantel clock (45 Challenge) OK, Pair of Tatastic John Terry angle-poised lamps, classic skipware (92) struggle, Victorian cast-iron and stone garden roller (48) OK.

    The Distraction:
    Charle-eh's off to the salt mines or more precisely, the nodding donkey brine extractor. The hot salty brine has Charl-eh reminiscing about late Boarding School nights and his own salty brine experiences. The salt causes his eyes to water and glaze over, his head spins and he's off to sodium chloride heaven.

    Distraction.jpg

    The Auction:
    Reds: 8mm film projector with Charlie Chaplin film (loss), Wilts regiment silver vesta case (evens stevens), Edison Bell Gramophone (evens stevens).
    Tubby's BB is a Silver witchboard table lighter holder (30), 20-30, 28, a small loss. A typical TubbyDud.

    FilmProjector.jpeg SilverBowl.jpeg

    Blues: 1991 Sheffield silver-framed mantel clock (small loss), Pair of Tatastic Herbert Terry angle-poised lamps, classic skipware (loss), Victorian cast-iron and stone garden roller (loss).
    Steph's BB is a Retro leather and chrome Smiths stirrup clock (16), 30-50, bargain, 60 squids. Fantastic work Steph.

    Lamps.jpeg StirrupClock.jpeg

    The Aftermath:
    Yorkshire skinflints. Time to give Sheffield a Miserlin star. It was like getting blood out of a very dry stone. Quelle surprise both teams make a loss. Tubby makes a loss but Steph makes a really good profit. They are chalk and cheese as experts.

    RedLoss.jpeg BlueLoss.jpeg

    The Hi-Kick:
    Standard indoor kick. Everyone more or less hits par. A decent all-round effort unlike yesterday.

    HiKick.jpg
     
    wfcmoog likes this.
  31. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    A change to the listed episode with one previously covered in this Thread. Booooooooo. It also started 15 mins early. Booooooooooooo. And it's a short-arse variant, thrice Boooooooooo.
     
  32. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    Pretty sure that one chap in the checked jacket bought all the goods for peanuts. Everyone else was just there for a day out (Sheffield)

    Sent from my SM-S908B using Tapatalk
     
    reg_varney likes this.
  33. CaveManHornet

    CaveManHornet Reservist

    How have I only just found this thread?! This is hilarious, and fantastic! I might have to get my old man to join this forum just to take part in here.

    He’s always badgering on to me about the mental drama that happens on Bargain Hunt, but I struggle to match his retired man energy. This would make his day, and life.
     
    wfcmoog and reg_varney like this.
  34. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    Given the recent drama on here, I'm all for establishing a separate Bargain Hunt forum and spending all my time on there.
     
    CaveManHornet likes this.
  35. reg_varney

    reg_varney Reservist

    BBC approved preamble:
    Shrewsbury 10
    Bargain HuntSeries 57
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000p3ck
    Natasha Raskin Sharp, experts Roo Irvine and Danny Sebastian and the red and blue teams go antiques hunting in Shrewsbury in Shropshire, before heading to Yorkshire for today’s auction. Natasha also tests the design knowledge of fairgoers at the West Midlands Fairground.

    The Translation:
    Strict Natasha Raskin Sharp and rule book which would make a Traffic Wardens notebook seem like a pamphlet, is stalking the mean streets of crime-ridden Shrewsbury. Joining her to clean the filth and scum off the streets are the always delightful Roo Irvine and the not so delightful Dan Dan Helium man, he can outsqueak a dog's toy. Sentencing the items to high losses is Judge Dredd-ful, Foghorn Shoehorn, Headache Hawley dressed like a middle-aged American tourist.

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Strict Natasha Raskin Sharp and her rule book
    [Red Team Expert] Delightful Roo Irvine
    [Blue Team Expert] Squeak squeak squeak
    [Auctioneer] Caroline Headache Hawley pooouuunnnnddddssss thump, sporting her new chunder collection
    [Auction Location] Beverley, East Yorks
    (Miserlin Rating: Approved)

    The Teams:
    [Red Team] Married primary school teachers
    (Challenge: You can wear)
    [Blue Team] Mother & Daughter, she is actually my mother, yes, that's what a daughter is, she likes a lot of bang for her buck, eyebrows raise
    (Challenge: For a child)

    The Shopping:
    Reds: French Art Deco clock and garniture (45) OK but not Hawley-proof, WMF pewter vase (75) struggle, Continental chunky silver ring (8 Challenge) Bargain, even Hawley can't mess it up.
    Blues: Galvanised trough, Squeaky likes (75) maybe, maybe not, Old knackered twin dolls pram, Squeak squeak squeak and that's not the pram (25 Challenge) OK, French porcelain kitchen drawers, must be uncomfortable to wear (105) overspent, booming Hawley loss incoming.

    Start.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    The Distraction:
    Tubby Thomas, the plump schoolboy, explains the difference between Arts & Crafts, Art Nouveau, and Art Deco. He bursts his trousers in excitement over the figurine of a vague lady.

    Distraction.jpg

    The Auction:
    Reds: French Art Deco clock and garniture (nice profit) internet bid, WMF pewter vase (small profit), surely a GG, Continental chunky silver ring (nice profit), golden gavel obtained, under Hawley too. Special Yorkshire Gold one with ultra-thin plating.
    Roo's BB is the Clockwork bird cage toy that plays Love Story, from earlier (80), they reject, 20-40, 75, small loss.

    Reds.jpg

    Blues: Galvanised trough (small loss), Old knackered twin dolls pram (evens stevens), French porcelain kitchen drawers (biggish loss), somebody in Ireland wants it, good riddance.
    Squeaky's BB is a WMF patinated bronze vase (40), a higher grade of tat than his usual skipware, 50-80, Foghorn loves it, 45, she fails to maximise the profit.

    Drawers.jpeg Vase.jpeg

    The Aftermath:
    Roo-directed Reds, she is good, guided them to a golden gavel, she overpaid for the bird cage but it is for the right reason. Even Hawley couldn't fark the items up. Squeak-a-delic Blues made a loss with their panic buy French drawers, the dealer was laughing all the way to the bank. As usual, Hawley is dreadful but the internet was alive and willing to spend even though the auction audience had it's hands deep in pockets in true Yorkshire style.

    RedWins.jpeg BlueLoss.jpeg

    The Hi-Kick:
    Outdoor Covid diagonal special, really good attempt on uneven grass but it does mean that Squeaky's crotch is closest to the camera. Grim indeed, but at least he's wearing a jacket so his gut and sweaty armpits are covered up.

    HiKick.jpg
     
    wfcmoog likes this.

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