Bargain Hunt

BBC approved preamble:
Ardingly 17
Bargain HuntSeries 62
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0018st7
Eric Knowles presents today’s episode from Ardingly Antiques Fair in West Sussex. Experts Kate Bliss and Gary Pe guide the red and blue teams, who have £300 to spend on three bargains. Eric pays a visit to the village of Herstmonceux to learn how lightweight baskets called trugs are made. At the auction, there’s great excitement, but which team will be victorious?

The Translation:
Uncle Eric returns to the Ardingly Antiques Fair in West Sussex with Groundhog Day companions uberposh Shrilly Trilly and Gary PeePee
The Auction is with John Marine Boy Cameron in his Pompey Peddle Palace. Warning, don't expect mega profits as Portsmouth is Scrooge's favourite spot on the South coast.

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Uncle Eric Knowles
[Red Team Expert] Kate Trilly Bliss
[Blue Team Expert] Gary Pe Garry BB is PP
[Auctioneer] John Marine Boy
[Auction Location] Southsea, Pompey
(Miserlin Rating: One Star)



The Teams:
[Red Team] Married priest and probabion officer god bothering couple
(Challenge: "Real" antique, ie. at least 100 years old)
[Blue Team] Married Brit Asian (Box ticked) married medical couple
(Challenge: Find in a study)

The Shopping:
Reds: Leather boxed silver and enamalled scent bottles (95) white metal but still has a chance, 1910 silver stamp holder (48 Challenge) might have overpaid, 1904 silver vesta case (39) possible.
Blues: Metal wading birds (18 Challenge) should be OK, Stoneware rum barrel (50) OK, Silver and enamel hand mirror (80) has a chance.

The Distraction:
Uncle Eric visits Herstmonceux to learn about The Trugs, a 1960s psychedelic rock group, who dabbled in LSD, split up, reformed in the early 2000s after the markets crashed and now potter around their gardens bearing a basket they invented during their heyday.

​

The Auction:
Reds: Leather boxed silver and enamalled scent bottles (largish loss) Misers rejoice, 1910 silver stamp holder (loss) the Miser moths dance in triumph, 1904 silver vesta case (1 squid profit), amazing a profit.
Trilly's BB is another piece of silver, no suprise there, a Georgian-style 1940s tea caddy spoon (38), 20-40, 40, squeaks a profit.



Blues: Metal wading birds (loss) cackle, Stoneware rum barrel (small loss), Silver and enamel hand mirror (loss) Ebeneezer now has a mirror.
Gary's BB is some wooden tribal tat (45), is it going to one of Gary's PeePee BB?, 40-60, normally a chance, but this is Pompey PennyPinchers, 45, evens stevens. A result of sorts.



The Aftermath:
Pompey strikes again despite Marine Boy's best efforts. What a dreadful Auction audience. No wonder Marine Boy doesn't have long air as otherwise he would be pulling it out. Reds make a largish loss, while Blues make a smaller overall loss.



The Hi-Kick:
Outdoor Kick on grass, looks like someone's back garden. Considering it's on uneven grass, it's not too bad with Priestly Red letting the side down a bit.

​

 

BBC approved preamble:
Oswestry 29
Bargain HuntSeries 62
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0018zzy
Christina Trevanion and experts Kate Bliss and Richard Madley take today's teams antiques hunting in Oswestry, Shropshire, before heading to Stratford-upon-Avon for today’s auction. Christina discovers how a trained sculptor made a name for himself with some extraordinary wooden carvings.

The Translation:
Sex-god Christina Trevanion and her handmaidens Trilly Posho and the hirsute Madders grace us with their serene presence at the latest Tat Bazaar at the Oswestry Showground on the English/Welsh border. Then it's time for the divine presence to descend on Stratford-upon-Avon which might mean the Auctioneer is shifty-eyed playground-lurker Mark Ashley, the softly spoken bespectacled deviant, the man in the raincoat with the deep pockets loitering around the swings. Stratford, East London, might make for an interesting Auction. Here we have this cut-price football stadium given away for free and sadly tarnished with claret and blue. Any bids?

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Christina Trevanion, the face that raised a thousand gavels
[Red Team Expert] Kate Shrilly Trilly Bliss,
[Blue Team Expert] Richard D1ckko Madders Madley not Madeley
[Auctioneer] Mark Ashley, with his up-to-no-good shifty expression
[Auction Location] Stratford-upon-Avon (Day-release)
(Miserlin Rating: Unlisted)

The Teams:
[Red Team] Nursey Grandmother and Grandaughter
(Challenge: Connection with flight)
[Blue Team] Retired female cousins
(Challenge: Connection to nature)



The Shopping:
Reds: RFC enamalled sweetheart brooch (45 Challenge) might struggle, Silver cream jug (75) might struggle, Silver wine tasting dish (20) Bargain.
Blues: Oval enamel and silver brooch (34) OK, Wooden Guiro frog (4 Challenge) Profit all day long, Set of Victorian silver dishes (99) struggle.

The Distraction:
Christina meets with a carver who show her his etchings. He has much wood on display. Not bad for a beginner he exclaims among the tossed off detritus.

​

The Auction:
Reds: RFC enamalled sweetheart brooch (loss), Silver cream jug (loss), Silver wine tasting dish (nice profit).
Trilly's BB is 1940s travelling clock (20), 20-30, got a chance, 20, evens stevens.



Blues: Oval enamel silver brooch (nice profit), Wooden Guiro frog (nice profit), Set of Victorian silver dishes (biggish loss).
Madders BB is an Australian 1950s snapper fishing reel (40), 20-30, might struggle, 30. Unlucky, as it was an interesting and unusual item.



The Aftermath:
Both teams made small overall losses. Blues were let down by an overspend on a job lot of Trillitastic silver. Froggy came up trumps.

The Hi-Kick:
Outdoor kick on grass. Good effort from everyone but Granny Red excels herself with a superb head kick showing that age is no barrier.

​

 

Write ups become better and better reg

 

Forester is becoming one of my least favourite auctioneers. Awful, awful bidding today, but that crappy goose tray dish really shocked me. 90 quid for that piece of tat? Incredible.

The spigot was an overspend but worth more than a tenner, as were the bootwarmers.

 

BBC approved preamble:
Ardingly 6
Bargain HuntSeries 56
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000jk9h
Today’s Bargain Hunt comes from West Sussex, where experts David Harper and Raj Bisram guide the reds and blues around the Ardingly International Antiques and Collectors Fair before taking their buys to auction. Meanwhile, Natasha Raskin Sharp find out about a collection of early photographs documenting a world tour in 1874.

The Translation:
As in a previous episode in this series, obviously filmed on the same day, Strict Natasha is sheltering from the p1ss1ng rain along with the watertight Dr Evil and waterproof Dayglo Dave, at Ardingly International Antiques and Collectors Fair in West Sussex. This series at this location mean it's another strip to Tubby Thomas at SAS Newbury aka Same Are Souls, a genuine PennyPinchers Paradise. Ebeneezer Scrooge and Albert Steptoe wait in anticipation. Expect a new colony of moths to thrive.

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Strict Natasha Raskin Sharp
[Red Team Expert] Raj Dr Evil Bisram
[Blue Team Expert] Dayglo David Harper, the 'Boro 'Bano
[Auctioneer] Tubby Thomas Forrester nee Plant, the plump schoolboy
[Auction Location] SAS Newbury, should be SOS Newbury as profits will be in peril in this Miser Manor
(Miserlin Rating: One Star)



The Teams:
[Red Team] Scarey female red head and tattooed beanpole other half couple
(Challenge: Gilded item)
[Blue Team] Geezer father and annoying millennial daughter combo
(Challenge: Georgian period)

The Shopping:
Reds: Painted advertising sign (60) maybe, Brass fire dogs (55) might struggle, Gilded bronze cherub statue (90 Challenge) overpaid.
Blues: Art Deco vintage wrist watch (90) OK, Treacle glaze pottery boot warmers (54) OK, Georgian Parian ware bottle stop (100 Challenge) big time overpaid.

The Distraction:
A collection of early photographs, documenting Horsham resident Robert Henderson’s world tour in 1874. Some amazing photographs including Hand-coloured photographs of Japan, the frozen Niagara Falls and some enormous trees in California. Stunning. Well-worth watching.

​

The Auction:
Reds: Painted advertising sign (largish loss), Brass fire dogs (largish loss), Gilded bronze cherub statue (largish loss), welcome to Planet of the Misers.
Raj's BB is a vintage fire engine pedal car (65), 40-60, 70, a profit in the PennyPinchers Parlour. Well done Raj!!



Blues: Art Deco vintage wrist watch (small profit), Treacle glaze pottery boot warmers (largish loss), Georgian Parian ware bottle stop (huge loss)
Dayglo's BB is a Art Nouveau Goose trinket tray (56), 80-120, a bargain in the normal world but this is Newbury, 90, excellent buy Dayglo.



The Aftermath:
Dreadful Auction in Newbury as anticipated. Tubby calls his Audience mean. What have you bought into Tubby! Some items were doomed even at the better auction houses and you know hands would be thrust deep into pockets here. Real tightwad country. Two large overall losses made slightly better with 2 good expert buys that both made profits.



The Hi-Kick:
Standard indoor kick. 2 male contestants slightly below par but the 2 females are above par. A nice symmetry.

​

 

Yes, that Trinket tray was a real specialist piece that someone really wanted. Someone told me they read an interesting article in The Times? recently about Raj Bisram, who had quite a troubled upbringing and has been in the Army and a member of the Magic Circle. If I can find it then I'll post a link.

 

I love Raj. I knew he was in the army, because he bought a swagger stick one day and then told everyone his regimental number. This was before he became Austin Powers' nemesis.

 

Boo, no BH today because of bloody Wimbledon. Booooooooooooooooooo.

 

Boooooooooooooo. Boris buggers Bargain Hunt. Boooooooooooo. Instead we have to have wall-to-wall news coverage akin to when Phil The Greek croaked. Booooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!

So, long as multi-channel coverage of Wimbledon is undisturbed, that's all that matters.

 

Work experience girl on the rostrum today. Think both teams have over spent on a few items but this Gen Z loser isn't gonna help them.

 

Seriously, the personality of a snotty tissue. Hansen she ain't.

Chest of little drawers doing better than expected. Horrible German vase did as badly as anticipated.

 

She doesn't even bring the gavel down with any conviction. I feel cheated.

Don't let this little rat bag sell for the teams again. It's a huge handicap.

Squeaky has a pair of candlesticks. Look like **** but cheap enough. Will probably break even/small loss IMO.

Teenager Mary thinks 60-80.

Let's see if she can suck the wind out of the bidders' sails with her gutless delivery.

38 so neither of us right. Well done Squeaky Dan.

 

Glass bottle - massively ocerspent. 75 quid.

Teenager thinks 20-30.

35 hammer price.

Next up is the tiffany style lamp for 95. I suspect a win here.

 

Think you forgot to log into your Reg account Moog?

 

They were still bidding, but the teenager got bored because they are crippled by social media to have a tiny attention span and just brought the hammer down at 65.

Globe for 110. Again bids were still going but teenage mary brings gavel down super quick at 65 I think. I was typing this so I forgot.

John's delight is a novelty tape measure shaped like a coffee grinder. Looks cute. 20 quid paid.

20-30 estimater by juvenile juror. I concur.

Gets 40 quid.

 

Posh new auction girl was dreadful. Assessment incoming.

 

Probably Daddy's little auction girl.

https://www.midweekherald.co.uk/news/bbc-bargain-hunt-team-visit-chilcotts-honiton-9099646

https://www.chilcottsauctions.co.uk/team/

Looks like a good old BBC box-ticking exercise.

 

I would.

 

BBC approved preamble:
Hele 13
Bargain HuntSeries 62
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m00190l4
Natasha Raskin Sharp, experts Danny Sebastian and John Cameron and the teams go antique-hunting in Hele, before heading to Honiton for today’s auction. Natasha asks the public of Exeter about a unique mystery item.

The Translation:
Welcome to Hell, or should that be Hele in Devon. I assume this a new place for BH. Devon/Cornwall can be known as prime Miser country bit let's wait and see. I'm sure Hell has strict rules so who better to investigate them than Strict Natasha. Beware for a ticking off and DQing Lucifer. The BH Demons of the Day are The Squeak who's voice will torment you for eternity and Marine Boy who will show you his nautical collection for your eternal torment. Hell's Auctioneer today is red-haired newbie, Mary Chilcott, who has taken a new direction after overseeing the inquiry into Iraq. The youngest Auctioneer I've ever seen but she does seem posh, twenty to thirt-eh, she chirrups. It's in Honiton in Devon, so the Skinflints will be out of their lairs in force, hence the immediate one-star Miserlin Rating.

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Strict Natasha Raskin Sharp
[Red Team Expert] Danny Dogwhistle and Squeaky Toy Sebastian, he of the aged and distressed voice
[Blue Team Expert] John Marine Boy Cameron
[Auctioneer] Posh Mary Chilcott
[Auction Location] Chilcotts, Honiton
(Miserlin Rating: One Star)

The Teams:
[Red Team] Married handyman and shop assistant ball and chain.
(Challenge: Functional piece of porcelain cue toilet humour, point Percy at it etc.)
[Blue Team] Married couple, he looks like he could have been in New Model Army. Is he wearing clogs?
(Challenge: Blown glass)



The Shopping:
Reds: West German vase (52) overspent, Shabby tat-tastic 19th Century miniature Chester Drawers, blame Arthur (80) oh dear overspent, Meissen onion design tea cup (12 Challenge) OK
Blues: Nailsea glass novelty flask (75 Challenge) overspent, Tiffany style lamp (95) overspent, Vintage Philips Challenge globe (110) overspent.

The Distraction:
Mystery object time. Treen fruit wood. Looks like a vintage wooden double-ender with male and female ends. It's a sheath sharpener. Reaping and Hell, it all starts to come together. Good job Charl-eh Ross isn't presenting, as the Donald Pleasance figure in the cowl might be a-visiting.

​

The Auction:
Reds: West German vase (biggish loss), Shabby tat-tastic 19th Century miniature Chester Drawers, blame Arthur (evens stevens), Meissen onion design tea cup (loss).
Squeak's BB is a pair of rescued skipware white metal Art Nouveau candlesticks, real tat (26) but posh youngster values them at 60-80, gulp, 38, a small profit for Helium Harry. Back to the bins with you.



Blues: Nailsea glass novelty flask (largish loss), Tiffany style lamp (loss), Vintage Philips Challenge globe (loss).
Marine Boy's BB is a novelty coffee grinder tape measure (20), 20-30, could be OK, 40, doubled the money. Well done John Boy.



The Aftermath:
Another location, another awful auctioneer. Valuations all over the place. No charisma. She barely tries to sell the item. Bugger all patter. She can't even sell a bit of Meissen for over a tenner. Shocking. In Ebeneezer's holiday home both teams were on a hiding to nothing and both teams overspent and made losses, particularly the Blues. Both experts spent conservatively and this was the secret to making a profit on their items.



The Hi-Kick:
Indoor Covid diagonal kick. As usual Strict Natasha jumps the gun, she should be DQed, both Reds poor, both Blues done good. Thankfully, Dan Dan Squeaksonic man is too close to the camera togive us the full crotch shot, but we do get a grim sweaty armpit.

​

 

Typical bloody looney left BBC!

Have to have a third rate young woman auctioneer on, rather than brilliant, white, heterosexual gavel genius Hansen or brilliant white (maybe) heterosexual wizard Tim Weeks, or even Ravishing Raj Bisram, who gives the teams a fair crack with his madonna mic approach.

It's PC gone mad!

 

Can just imagine it 'ooh yeah harder harder' in her deadpan, awkward Gen Z monotone. Killing boners as quickly as she killed auction excitement.

 

I must admit I do love a bit of Cheshire cheese.

 

BBC approved preamble:
Anglesey 21
Bargain HuntSeries 55
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000dv3f
Join Charlie Ross on the Welsh isle of Anglesey for today’s Bargain Hunt, which comes from the Agricultural Showground. The reds and blues go head to head with the help of antique experts Roo Irvine and Richard Madley. Who will make the most profit at auction? Charlie also takes a trip down memory lane to discover the oldest cheese in Britain, which comes from Cheshire.

The Translation:
The fool's fool, senile farmyard kock Charl-eh Ross is back in Ynys Môn at the Agricultural Showground with delightful milking maid Roo Irvine and prize Ram, Madders Madley not Madeley. Hopes are high with 2 decent experts. The Auction is in Nantwich presided over by Large Chris, who's the stand-in for Lawrence Fox. There are better places than this for an Auction but there are also a lot worse places. After an exhausting early morning crow, Kock Charlie will be exhausted, his eyes will glaze over and he will head off to the barn for the bird equivalent of 40 winks. When he awakes he'll find he's been caponised, well and trully stuffed and ready for a good old spit-roasting. Luck-eh Charl-eh.

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Omnifool Charl-eh Ross, the gurning idiot
[Red Team Expert] Delightful Roo Irvine
[Blue Team Expert] Richard Madley not Madeley, SportsMad D1ckko Madders
[Auctioneer] Large Chris, should be plenty of cash in Nantwich floating about.
[Auction Location] Peter Wilson's, Nantwich, Cheshire
(Miserlin Rating: Unlisted)



The Teams:
[Red Team] Mother and Bossy Son. She worked in accounts for a number of years. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.
(Challenge: Welsh connection)
[Blue Team] Bossy Mother and Daughter. Non-descript pair.
(Challenge: For a child)

The Shopping:
Reds: Royal Welsh Regimental beret (18 Challenge) OK, Georgian copper kettle (35) might be OK, Victorian silver cranberry glass scent bottle (125), oh dear, not hallmarked and one of the ends isn't original, it was rushed purchase so these mistakes were missed, only 30-50 estimated ouch.
Blues: Royal Doulton Nursery Rhyme pottery trio (55 Challenge) struggle, Jerusalem Olive wood framed mirror (30) might struggle, Late 18th century Japanese 2-handled Satsuma vase (75), has some damage, might struggle.

The Distraction:
Cheshire Cheese, Britain's oldest. Nantwich, home of the Cheshire Cheese. Posh idiot's cheesy jokes, Britain's oldest. Charl-eh flashes off his MCC-style braces while putting on a smock. He turns the handle of a peg mill to break up cheese curds. Charl-eh always enjoys anything to do with pegging. He also gets to taste the supreme champion by wolfing down the salty goodness. Afterwards, he eats some cheese.

​

The Auction:
Reds: Royal Welsh Regimental beret (loss), Georgian copper kettle (loss), Victorian silver cranberry glass scent bottle (largish loss).
Roo's BB is an enamelled Chester silver pin box (38), slightly damaged, 20-30, let's see, 50, nice profit. Well done Roo.



Blues: Royal Doulton Nursery Rhyme pottery trio (loss), Jerusalem Olive wood framed mirror (evens stevens), Late 18th century Japanese 2-handled Satsuma vase (largish loss).
Madders BB is a Boxwood boxed chess set (25), 15-25, evens stevens.



The Aftermath:
Both teams didn't haggle hard enough and overspent. Largest losses were on the last items which were the big spend items with time fast running out, so items weren't thoroughly inspected which was a gamble that didn't pay off. The Reds won because of Roo's BB, the only item that made a profit.



The Hi-Kick:
Conventional Indoor Kick with Roo giving us a head kick and the the Reds getting good elevation. Very disappointing from the Blues whose kicking matches their performance on the program.

​

 

Thought today (Sunday) had the makings of a good episode. One team spent big (270) and the estimates were all predicting potential profits. Cometh the actual auction, however, and the Scrooge McTavishes of Edinburgh all scooped up the lots for peanuts. For shame.

 

Yes there were nice and interesting items for once.

 

BBC approved preamble:
Edinburgh 17
Bargain HuntSeries 47-49 (Shortened Versions)
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000630c
Today the reds and blues are bargain hunting at the Royal Highland Centre in Edinburgh. Paul Laidlaw and John Cameron will be helping today teams of best friends spend £300 on three items which hopefully will make a profit at the auction. Anita Manning is at the helm keeping the reds and blues under control.

The Translation:
It's a McWitch short episode, she pops on her broomstick and flies into the dreaded Royal Highland Centre in Edinburgh, the McTat Bazaar which usually produces meagre McProfits. Enduring the Scottish misers are Paul Laidlaw, a new one on me and Marine Boy Cameron. I shudder to think where the Auction will be. Hopefully not Rosewell. It isn't, it's at Shapes in Edinburgh with Dennis Clark McSlasher, the Glaswegian Teddy Boy.

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Anita McWitch Manning
[Red Team Expert] John Marine Boy Cameron
[Blue Team Expert] Paul Teeth McStain Laidlaw, an extra out of Still Game
[Auctioneer] Dennis Clark McSlasher, Scots Ted
[Auction Location] Shapes Auctioneers, Edinburgh
(Miserlin Rating: One Star, it's Scotland remember)



The Teams:
[Red Team] Sweaty retired Best Friends who met at primary school.
[Blue Team] Jockular retired Best Friends since meeting at school, the short one looks like she should be lurking in the depths of the North Sea. The other was a dentist whose full set in not a great advert for dentistry north of the border.

​

The Shopping:
Reds: Silver tooth fairy box (20) OK, Arts and crafts silver desk set (100) OK, Arts and crafts metal Stork cigarette box (100) might make a nice profit..
Blues: Room screen dividers (45) might struggle, Oil lamp stand (80) might struggle, Art Deco scarab bar brooch (30) OK.

The Distraction:
None as it's a short-arsed edition.

The Auction:
Reds: Silver tooth fairy box (good profit), Arts and crafts silver desk set (loss), Arts and crafts metal Stork cigarette box (largish loss)
Marine Boy's BB is a silver ring modelled as the left arm of a suit of armour, LOL, (30), 15-25, 25, almost but not quite.



Blues: Room screen dividers (loss), Oil lamp stand (largish loss), Art Deco scarab bar brooch (loss).
McTeeth's BB is Sabbath stick (30), 15-25, 40, a small profit, well done Paul.



The Aftermath:
Welcome to an Auction from Scotland. Say goodbye to any profits. The Reds spent big and that is always a gamble which often doesn't pay off but did have an item that made a decent profit, swoon. The Blues spent less and made a bigger loss, go figure. A shame because some of the items were really nice and deserved better than to end up as part of a Miser's hoard.



The Hi-Kick:
Standard indoor kick. Marine Boy sets the standard which is met by one of the Reds and failed by the others. McWitch barely tries but McTeeth makes up for his below par kick with a fist pump and silent yell.

​

 

Absolute **** show again from Forester. Couldn't even get a profit on the cheapest items.

Also his style is appalling. 'I can start the bidding at £10. Any advance.'

But you can't start there Thomas, can you? You don't have any bids.

Painful viewing.

 

What a dreadful auction. No wonder the Dudley salesroom closed earlier this year.

 

BBC approved preamble:
Wrexham 28
Bargain HuntSeries 61
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m00196qr
Christina Trevanion is in Wrexham, where our teams are ably guided around the antiques centre by experts Jonathan Pratt and Tim Weeks, before heading to the auction with Thomas Forrester. Christina discovers the appeal of model railways with an avid collector of original Hornby trains.

The Translation:
During the heatwave we're hoping for some cooling relief but today it's sultry Christina Trevanion to set temperatures soaring even higher. We're back in Wrexham in that post-Apocalyptic, almost deserted, antiques centre with Mad Max 2 g1mp, gently effeminate Jonathan JP Pratt with his prospective Tory MP look and Lord Humungous stand-in Timpole Tudor. Auction is in Dreadful Dudley, Prime Brexit country with Tubby Thomas Forrester nee Plant, the plump schoolboy. He gives Christina a big welcome. I didn't know he had it in him or was that way inclined. Evidently, his Dudley Den closed it's doors in March, so the Tory-voting, Boris-loving Steptoes will have to go to somewhere else to keep warm. Tubby Bye-Byes Dudley.

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Sex bomb Christina Trevanion
[Red Team Expert] Jonathan JP Pratt, will he won't he stand as the new Tory party leader
[Blue Team Expert] Tim Timpole Tudor Wunderbar Weeks
[Auctioneer] Tubby Thomas Forrester nee Plant, the plump schoolboy
[Auction Location] SAS Dudley, Save Are Souls, should be SOS Dudley as profits will be in peril in this PennyPinchers Paradise.
(Miserlin Rating: One Star)



The Teams:
[Red Team] Father and Maths graduate son, he calls a vase a vaze so should be put down immediately
(Challenge: Contains coloured glass)
[Blue Team] Mother and large foreheaded ripe for slapping son
(Challenge: Contains clear glass)

The Shopping:
Reds: 19th century carved oak stool (18) good chance, Boxing hares bronze statue (95) maybe, Czech coloured glass vase (13 Challenge) good chance.
Blues: Edwardian Sheffield silver bon-bon dish (32) OK, Job lot of 8 glass bottles (20 Challenge) OK, Porcelin Jardiniere (75) oh dear not good, struggler.

The Distraction:
Christina goes to visit someone who is going to play with their Hornby in front of her. A head of steam is built up, and sparks-fly before a 00-style release. His model train reminiscence ejaculations are copious.

​

The Auction:
Reds: 19th century carved oak stool (small loss), Boxing hares bronze statue (loss), Czech coloured glass vase (loss), Jeez, Miser City.
JPs BB is a Cranberry glass sugar sifter (8), the one they found earlier, lazy purchase JP, 10-20, a fiver, another loss. You lazy arse JP.



Blues: Edwardian Sheffield silver bon-bon dish (small profit-amazing), Job lot of 8 glass bottles (loss), Porcelin Jardiniere (big loss) 10 quid, hail the Miser Moths a-fluttering.
Timpole's BB is a the Art Deco French calendar from earlier (45), another lazy-arsed purchase?, 30-40, looks like a Dud, 10, yup big Tubby Dud. Shame on you Weeks.



The Aftermath:
Reds had a Gransd Slam of losses thanks to Tubby Thomea virtual Dudley Dump Auction. Blues made a 3 pound profit on one item but lost because of their overpriced Porcelin p1ss tray. Mind you if even it was gold the skinflints would still have only bid a tenner. Dreadful Auction. No wonder it closed its doors earlier this year. Both experts should hang their heads in shame by buying objects previously considered which both made losses.



The Hi-Kick:
Indoor Covid diagonal. They all hit par with Pratt by name and nature being a tad late and fist pumping his abject failure.

​

 

That dog with a shoe brush on it. LOL

 

BBC approved preamble:
Peterborough 16
Bargain HuntSeries 55
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000hbjg
Will it be All’s Well That Ends Well for the red and blue teams on today’s Bargain Hunt? Presenter Eric Knowles discovers a fascinating collection of artefacts at the Royal Shakespeare Company’s props store, while experts Stephanie Connell and Philip Serrell are on hand to guide the teams around one of the UK’s biggest antiques fairs.

The Translation:
Back to Pikeybro with Uncle Eric and his gang, Our Steph, amd Binman Benny the Ball, in the friendly 1950s sense of fun-loving miscchief, as opposed to todays variant of drugs, unprovoked violence, and knife crime. Auction is in well-heeled Stratford-upon-Avon with goggle-eyed transgressor Mark Ashley while he is on day-release from the Nonce wing in Winson Green.

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Uncle Eric Knowles, the Steady Eddie
[Red Team Expert] Stephanie Connell, the Cockermouth Cumbrian, all hail the 93%
[Blue Team Expert] Philip Muttley Serrell avec scarf de tat et pullover de moth
[Auctioneer] Mark Ashley, lurking at the playground fence near the wooded glade
[Auction Location] Bigwood Fine Art Auctioneers, Stratford-upon-Avon
(Miserlin Rating: Unlisted)



The Teams:
[Red Team] Painter & Decorator Husband and wifey who are into dogs
(Challenge: Bone china)
[Blue Team] Retired mother and roller-skating daughter
(Challenge: Victorian glass)

The Shopping:
Reds: Paragon Belinda china set (15 Challenge) OK, Bronze pen wipe dog (110) struggle, Art Nouveau enamelled silver pendant (45) OK.
Blues: Pair of vintage wooden-wheeled Roller skates (29) might struggle, 3 Victorian illusion glasses (40 Challenge) OK, Vintage wooden child's desk and chair (160) oh dear, tatastic Scruffy special.

The Distraction:
RSCs Prop shop. A real treasure trove of tat. How many have been borrowed and end up on eBay?

​

The Auction:
Reds: Paragon Belinda china set (loss), Bronze pen wipe dog (largish loss), Art Nouveau enamelled silver pendant (small loss).
Steph's BB is a set of 18 French Art Deco cocktail glasses (35), 20-40, maybe, 45, a profit, well done Steph. Nice buy.



Blues: Pair of vintage wooden-wheeled Roller skates (loss), 3 Victorian illusion glasses (small profit), Vintage wooden child's desk and chair (big loss).
Muttley's BB is a Lloyd Loom chair, rescued straight from the skip (15), 40-60, the deviant really likes it, 40, well done Scruffy, one of your punts has actually come off.



The Aftermath:
Not the greatest of Auctions, not as skinflinty as some but still not great. The Bronze dog with a shoe brush on it and Serrell's skiptastic inspired desk and chair sunk both teams. However, both experts made profits on their BBs.



The Hi-Kick:
Standard indoor kick. Pretty lacklustre but Scruffy almost reaches 60 deg, a record for him.

​

 

A decent auction for once. Makes a nice change.

 

BBC approved preamble:
Epsom/Dorking 26
Bargain HuntSeries 52 Episode 23 of 32
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0003mcs
Charlie Ross looks after proceedings at Epsom Racecourse today, where the reds and blues go head to head to make as much profit as possible. Danny Sebastian and David Harper look after our bargain hunters, who have to spend £300 on three items within an hour in the hope they will make loads of money at the auction in Maidenhead.

The Translation:
Posh t1t Charl-eh Ross is among today's runners and riders at Epsom Racecourse. He hopes he's going to get his oats at the stud farm but in reality it's the knackers followed by the glue factory for him instead. He's joined by Muffin the Middlesbrough mule with his Dayglo blinkers and saggy old nag, Donkey Danny, with his ultrasonic braying and muzzle bag straight from the skip. Auctioneer is Aubrey The Watchman Dawson in Maidenhead, which currently is not on the list, so portents are hopeful.

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Charl-eh Ross, the gurning omnifool
[Red Team Expert] Danny Helium Sebastian, squeal like a pig then get ready for some praying
[Blue Team Expert] DayGlo David Harper, the Middlesbrough Montelbano
[Auctioneer] Aubrey The Watchman Dawson
[Auction Location] Dawson Auctioneers, Maidenhead
(Miserlin Rating: Unlisted)



The Teams:
[Red Team] Retired best female friends who say they are re-cycled teens
(Challenge: Gardenalia)
[Blue Team] Another set of best female friends are in the WI for bees and belly-dancing.
(Challenge: Kitchenalia)
Charlie is going to give them his lolly. The mind boggles. The Blues want a man. Grim.

The Shopping:
Reds: 3 Edwardian jugs (10) poor man's Worcester but OK at the price, old skipware metal watering can and 2 buckets (28 Challenge) OK, Silver dressing box with Reynolds angel heads (95) might struggle.
Blues: Brass preserving pan (20 Challenge) OK, African tribal carving sculpture (35) good price, Pair of large Chinese vases (100) good price.

The Distraction:
Wooden Windsor chairs in High Wycombe, chair making capital of the UK, hence Wycombe Wanderers are the Chairboys. Charlie gets out his old wood and starts turning it, he get's a bit sweaty, his eyes glaze over and off he slopes to a very posh land of nod. In the meantime, the lathe drill has drilled through his head. Luckily, his brain is so small there's no chance of hitting it.

​

The Auction:
Reds: 3 Edwardian jugs (profit), old skipware metal watering can and 2 buckets (loss) much jollity in the salesroom says it all, Silver dressing box with Reynolds angel heads (small profit).
Squeaks BB is something dreadful?, yup, awful battered metal trunk, straight from the dump (9), 20-30, possible bargain, a tenner, fittingly it squeaks a profit but it is the rubbish you expect from Dumpster Dan.



Blues: Brass preserving pan (profit), African tribal carving sculpture (nice profit), GG incoming?, Pair of large Chinese vases (nice profit). Golden Gavel.
Dayglo's BB is a pair of Mouseman oak napkin rings (35), 50-80, 50, nice work Dayglo.

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The Aftermath:
A decent auction for once. People with money burning a hole in their pockets. Reds did well but had the Squeak to hamper them. That dreadul metal drunk and skipware watering can and buckets had his sweaty paws all over them. Golden gavel for the Blues and a good profit. Well done Dayglo Dave, one of your better episodes.



The Hi-Kick:
Standard indoor kick. It's all a bit rushed with one of the Blues making 90 while Charl-eh, Squeak, and Dayglo gives us all nasty crotch shots.

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Newbury strikes again. Send for Tubby Thomas' SOS Auction services.