We're in Lincoln, prime Pork country today, with daft old boar Charl-eh Ross and fellow troughers and rootlers in the woodland of Bargains, Nick Plaid All Over Hall, Keir Stamer's Hobgoblin and Vinderloo variant, and Gary PeePee, Bonus Buyus Sidus Splitus Hilarium. I've been a bit disappointed with Gary's BB recently, as they've been far too sensible rather than his hilarious off-the-wall offerings. Let's wait and see what transpires. Does this mean the Auctioneer will be Colin Speedy Young, the Rapido short-haired non-Rick Wakeman variant, in his Lincoln franchise of PennyPinchers? No, it's Nigel Rees-Moog Kirk in Nottingham who'll be dealing with the riff-raff. Nanny those ghastly people are littering my Auction House. The Distraction involves treasure hunting at the bottom of your garden. Charleh's Stash of Scandinavian Literature is probably safe for now as long as the slugs don't get to them. Best friend tax consultant Red Team dodge and avoid their way to: (Challenge: Far East) Large display glass scent bottle 135, (20-40) Rees-Moog is very sniffy about the scent bottle, 60, big loss, serves you right for being common; Burmese wooden elephant (Challenge) 29, (20-30) should be fine, 20, another loss, the Notts Misers are in; Dresser-style toast rack 43, (20-30) maybe, probably not, 45, squeaks a profit, here are your pennies, spend them wisely. Gary's BB is a candle holder, which is back to his weird best, 24, (20-30) he's not raarlee convinced, a fiver, LOL, a mini-disaster with the mini-organ pipe monstrosity. Well Done Gary you've earned your reputation of the bizarre bargain buys back. Brothers-in-law identical twin-tagging Blue Team escape for some rest to provide: (Challenge: Lighting) Plane of wood Lamp (Challenge) 95, (40-60), 15, oooof, big loss; Danecraft silver bracelet 69, (25-35) stingy estimate, 25, oooff again, a loss; Victorian glass and silver decanter 32, (20-30), 20, another loss. Plaidy's BB is a pair of Arts and Crafts-style bowls 49, (25-40) R-M is vaguely impressed, 20. A Grand Slam of losses from Miser Central. What a dreadful Auction. Up there with the worst of Muttley and Rosewell. Only one profit of a couple of quid. Ludicrous, as apart from Gary's bizarre piece of art masquerading as a candelabra, they were normal items and didn't deserve the substantial losses. Ress-Moog clone's sniffy attitude didn't help. I wouldn't dare have this peasant's tat in my mansion house, my butler, will dispose of them immediately. Speaking of the Audience, what a slovenly, miserly bunch. Final Hi-Kick is a standard indoor operation which is well executed with good height from all. Can-can silver medal awarded. Yes, YES!!