Bargain Hunt

Blue team were absolute mugs to go with that bonus buy.

That ugly dog thing was never going to make any money.

 

I prefer David D1ck1nson's Any Old 5h1t

 

I've never understood the delights of watching mildly well off people rummage around the detritus of human life in the hope they can rip off either the person they bought the bit of jumble from or the person they are selling it to.

It's like being damned to a version of hell where Waiting for Godot is endlessly played.

 

The sort of show that makes me want to boil my gonads in my own piss.

 

Good point, well made.

 

Surely that is 'Can't Cook, Won't Cook'?

 

A recipe like that certainly sounds like someone who can't cook.

 

Or Masterchef following a Zombie Apocalypse.

Gregg! It’s ‘Testis des Hommes, in a Jus Urine Bouille’.

 

On the contrary, although I'd agree the vast majority of what they buy belongs in a skip rather than an auction, I like BH for the following reasons:

1. The people chosen as bargain hunters are normal people rather than the usual polished game show contestants. The unflattering captured still photo of them gurning horribly as they lose £20 on the victorian sugar tongs (it's always victorian sugar tongs) is brilliant.

2. They invariably lose money, giving a clear demonstration of the perils of speculation. It's really funny when they lose loads and loads of money.

3. The middle bit is quite interesting and informative. Today I learnt about the Hansididic (sp?) Trading bloc and the part King's Lynn (or just Lynn as it was then) played in it.

4. The only truly unpleasant and uncomfortable part in it, is where they try to beat the asking price down. I suppose some must be uncomfortable with it, which is why the eccentric expert disappears off to negotiate and return with a new price. It is a bit unrealistic that the trader always agrees a big price reduction and you wonder how much having a TV camera shoved in their face contributes to their pricing flexibility. Indeed, whenever I have followed their lead and brightly asked a trader "The ticket says £50, but what's your BEST price?", they have responded with vulgarities and rudeness and indicated that the ticket says £50 because they want fifty fickin' pounds for it.

If I were to appear on the program, I would subvert this section by saying to the stallholder "The ticket says £50, but would you accept £100?" and then grin to the camera and shove my hands in the pockets of my nylon BH jacket and say "Well, it's not my money, is it?"

I wonder if they're allowed to keep the jackets? I'd wear mine all the time if they did. Think of the discounts you could get while they look all around for the cameras.

I'm disappointed that there are no other BH fans on the board thus far. There must be others that like it. Yes?

YES!!!!

(Boodoodoo doodoo doodo doo. Boodoodoo doodoo doo.)

 

You argue your case well. Incidentally, Kings Lynn’s Hanseatic history is well covered in Mark Steel’s entertaining visit in Mark Steel’s in Town.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m00025cx

 

A couple of friends applied to go on it. Part of the process of selection involved them going into a room where there were antiques on the table.

They then had to pretend they were interested in buying them, getting all enthusiastic and speculating about price. As usual for them, they started bickering and sniping at each other.....but they still got selected!

I guess the TV people thought that their arguing would be entertaining. In the end they couldn't make the recording day so never appeared on the show.

 

The one thing annoys me about Bargain Hunt is during the auction sand the bidding passes their own buying price they show mild emotion as they realise they are not making a loss, then the bids go up and up, and then they cheer wildly when the bidding stops and the hammer comes down!

 

Hanseatic - that was it.

Also and furthermore, I would say that BH is very English in an older, modest style. They lose £12 or they win £7. It is played for fun and diversion rather than winning a prize.

You can't imagine it showing on US TV. It wouldn't work at all. Compare and contrast with the obnoxious 'baggage battles' or 'storage wars' shown on obscure channels. A variety of extremely unsavoury Yankee doodle dandies battle each other in bidding flamboyantly to buy some poor soul's lost personal belongings, sight unseen. They then rummage through their luggage or container, tossing aside that declared "worthless" or most often (very suspiciously often) coming across some ultra-valuable something amongst the junk, which realises them profits of thousands of dollars. Really nasty. The antithesis of Bargain Hunt.

 

I had some comrades once, a couple, who went on that quiz show with Michael Barrymore where you had to walk across answering questions and bashing buttons on TV screens to win prizes. You remember that one. What's a hot spot not? That one.

They said it was alright. They didn't give them the prizes they said they won (eg horse riding lessons, cuddly toy etc) but instead gave them the money for them so they could "buy them themselves".

Barrymore did not try to shag either of them or even touch them up.

 

Amazing. @Clive_ofthe_Kremlin talking down the opposition to the red team…

I’m trying to work out if this is just a deep cover politics thread.

The question is who’s the ‘ugly dog thing’…?

 

Surely they said it was ‘aw-wight’?

 

There are certain people in life I've learned to avoid to keep sane. The worst are those who complain loudly about their food in a restaurant every single time they go out, the second are those who try to knock down the price of something at every given opportunity.
Unfortunately on Thursday I've got to meet someone in the office who has both attributes and is an utter utter ****.

 

I love Bargain Hunt. I love the crap they buy, the optimism that some sucker will spend more than them on a piece of tat and the fact that they rarely do. I love that they could win £3 and feel like world champs, with a Golden Gavel.

I think the part about haggling is something to do with the industry ie. there's a retail price sticker on every piece, but there's a knockdown price 'for trade.' Otherwise what hope would they have? All those stallholders selling a snuffbox for £80 have bought it at auction for £35. The worst episodes are the ones where they have to buy their lots in a proper Antique shop, where the prices are pure retail with virtually no knockdown (10% usually) and then they go and sell them at auction, where the canny dealers probably buy them all back at half the price.

My favourite experts are Raj Bisram, miserable old Phil Serrell and geezers John Cameron and Nick Hall, who look like they sell nicked nick-nacks at Petticoat Lane. The best auctions are Tim Weeks and the absolute best - Charles Hanson. Some of the Northern and regional auction houses are clearly full of old misers with vans who have come to spend £30 to fill their van to the brim with tat for their junk shops. The contestants have no chance of a profit at these hell holes with their £75 big spend items.

Love it.

 

And yes - that dog was all of the money and more. No liner, not original, purely decorative and no real strong points. They were already behind though, so it was a shot to nothing.

I do hate when the experts give them a crap bonus buy!

 

Are you watching now @Clive_ofthe_Kremlin

I think the blues are onto a winner with that vase and the decanter set for £10 and £15 respectively. Nick doing smart shopping as usual.

Not sure the reds are being as smart.

 

Get in! They're at Hanson's auctioneers. I smell a golden gavel today!!

 

Surely worth a shoutbox?

 

Shoutbox?

 

Blues got a GG and 98 quid profit. Amazing scenes.

 

Echo?

 

Ooh reds have a profit on first two items!

 

Omg. GG for the reds too! I haven't done the maths but the reds look to have won it with their terrible dog pin cushion!

 

Typical lefty BBC. Now I see where ZZT is coming from.

 

210 quid for a base metal dog!!

 

95 quid for Thomas' enamel locket as the Bonus Buy. Risky.

 

Ooh both bonus buys lost money, but the teams were amazing. Blues runners up (there are no losers on BH) with 98 quid profit! That's unheard of.

 

This was one of the best episodes ever. An absolute classic.

 

It's getting too toxic in here. I'm off.

 

Is 'golden gavel' some kind of sexual euphemism? In which case, good luck with that.

 

Stop trying to make everything about politics