Are You Satisfied With The Life You're Living? Uh!

I'd suggest quitting while you're not ahead. You're digging a hole for yourself completely unnecessarily here.

 

What hole am I digging? I am not the one who is being abusive and insulting, yet you seem to be blaming me and not Moog, Why?

 

I already outlined that in my first couple of comments.

Mental health isn't a laughing matter. For the under 45s suicide is the second most common cause of death (very often brought on by depression) and those suffering from it often don't get help because of the stigma associated with it.

That stigma is reinforced by people making fun of it and treating it as something to be ridiculed. It isn't.

 

Probably not the forum to be open but as others are.......in my 50 years I've lost a mum, dad, brother, sister and a wife. But they all passed knowing I loved them and they loved me. I have two fantastic kids that are now through uni and I'm proud of everything they achieve and I have a fantastic relationship with them. I don't have enough money to buy a yacht, but enough to give me options in life. I got made redundant from a job I hated and found a job I love

I have no past regrets and no massive desire to get anything more. So the answer is yes, I'm happy with my lot

 

See above, my post was a simple throw away bit of fun, I even put one of my famous smilies after it to show I was only kidding. However then I get a pile of abuse and insults which I think was a totally over the top reaction and was totally uncalled for.

Furthermore the language used is not supposed to be tolerated on this forum, and yet I'm being painted the bad guy, can someone tell me why?

 

Why the editing of my post Arakel, at least try to be unbiased

 

You got it 100% wrong, everyone except you sees that, now for the love of god drop it because every word you write is hugely embarrassing.

 

I didn't edit anything. I quoted you exactly as you typed it.

What I wrote specifically spoke to the first line and only the first line, hence why I left the rest out. I'm not getting involved in the rest of it.

 

I apologised right at the beginning and I have not used abusive and insulting language, maybe if I received an apology and others were not perpetuating this then I would indeed shut up. Lets try and be equal handed about this please.

 

That is called editing my friend

 

Everyone knows that moog likes a wind up but his post obviously a real life experience. Not everyone enjoys university, some people I knew when I was at uni didn't get on with the experience and left.

With regards to Clive's OP, I did a sandwich year in industry during my degree course, I was placed in Nuremberg where I lived for 14 months. When the opportunity arose I did step back to think about it, but I definitely made the right decision as it was a wonderful experience; the only negative I could say about it was that for the first time in my life I had a disposable income and no responsibilities outside of work that I put on too much weight!

At the end of my contract, which I had extended as far as I could before I had to return to do my final year, I sat down with my boss who offered me a job for after graduation. I later on turned it down, which I don't regret, simply because he wanted to enrol me at the University of Nuremberg simply to pay me a student wage (lower than a full timer's wage). There were people in my office who were employed like that and some of them over 30, I'm not sure how they got away with it, but I reasoned that if I took that route I'd be there in years to come and at a disadvantage for whenever I wanted to move on had I decided to stay in Germany. I had probably the best year of my life out there and a great experience and I absolutely loved living in Nuremberg, which I think also made me turn it down because I didn't want the previous great experience soured, if you know what I mean.

After uni, it took me a while to find a job but when I was offered one, it was in the gambling industry which I can only describe as a brilliant and vibrant industry where a lot of people know each other which was very good when my first company got bought out by a rival and I moved on.

 

If that's your biggest concern right now I think you're missing the big picture. I removed the lines in question because I wasn't speaking to them. I didn't change what you wrote in any way, I simply didn't quote all of it, which is a common thing to do on internet forums.

 

No way can it be construed as a failure. More of a triumph in my book.

We are currently looking after my 4 yr old granddaughter and due to my daughter's health will probably be doing so until she reaches adulthood. We only have one ambition for her, that she grows up in a positive household, with encouragement and support (we'll do our best), but that she ends up doing something she enjoys and can live relatively comfortably. I couldn't care less if she went to uni or not.

But in line with the OP, I honestly have only one regret. Plenty of mistakes, most of which I have learned from, but only one "sliding door" moment, where I wish I took a different option and went into public service back in 2008.

One thing I have changed my mind about over the past 5 years was my attitude about working in public service. After I sold my business in 2016 and started working in the civil-service in an area I thought would be useful and for something to do, initially as a contractor, and more recently as an employee.

I thought it would be dull and (unless was a very senior Manager) and that I'd only make a limited difference. But I have been overwhelmed by the difference ordinary employees can make to the lives of real people in the real world, with a learning experience far better than I have seen in many years in private industry. In fact, I've had a relatively successful career in private industry directly employing a sizeable workforce, but I am most proud of what I've achieved here at DfE over 3 years than in the previous 12 years in industry.

I would love my grandaughter to be working in the same environment as I am now.

Not all government departments are like the DfE though!

 

Some very honest and genuinely moving posts. Sadly I am much too shallow to contribute anything, but well done to those that have

 

I would have liked to have read Classics,I have always been fascinated by the subject.
Mr IBB went to Cambridge and part of him is still there,especially as he was a poor lad from a Croydon estate and made good.
However I don't regret not going to university,not even in the US to play tennis.
I was very fortunate to be in the right place at the right time ( although others may beg to differ!) and meet David Evans. His sponsorship enabled me to be a moderate;y competent tennis player and achieve my ambitions in the game.
His money also helped me start saving,I wasn't that daft to spend it ALL on hitting a little yellow ball!
I have good friends,a good man,I can still play tennis to a half decent level and I'm as high up in my so called profession as I can be.
I'd like the human race to be kinder to its creatures and home and try to help as much as I can.
I enjoy this forum and take comfort in defeat and joy in victory with all on it.
Great thread Clive!

 

I miss summers like those. Golf in the morning . Euro 96. What’s not to like?

 

great post. Sorry to hear about your kids but glad all going well for you.

 

If I’m brutally honest I am not happy. I earn a high wage as does my wife, have good work/life balance, have a great kid and a brilliant wife. Feels completely selfish not to be happy but I feel depressed half the time. I have no idea why. Not any serious problems like some people suffer from but just under a cloud. I find it baffling. I definitely have no right to be glum.

All my older family are long dead and my Dad dropped dead in front of me when I was 21 so figure that has always played a part but it doesn’t feel like that is why I am angry and sad.

Guess this is a bit personal but feels like this a thread to share in.

 

I'll try and play my part and not argue over ****.

 

Sorry to hear. It’s a tough thing to fix when you can’t really put your finger on why it is that you feel unhappy. You should talk to friends and your wife about how you feel. Might make you feel better to have shared it and might make you feel closer to your wife to talk about it .... after first making clear that the marriage is great and that’s why you waned to share it. She might even have noticed something and been worried that there was an issue with the marriage you never know ? But you are in a better place to assess that sort of thing but I would suggest sharing if you can....
Next season’s results won’t help !!!

 

Don’t worry. My ding donging with you is just a symptom of my letting off steam so don’t worry about it. Normally my fault.

 

I’m pretty happy overall, I suppose.

I relocated to move in with my better half 3-4 years ago, so that was a big (and stressful!) roll of the dice - gave up a pretty safe, steady job in order to do so and it’s not been plain sailing so far due to a mixture of temp working, having to leave a permanent role thereafter within about four months due to unforgivable behaviour by people in positions of power, and more recently a team of 60 (closer to 70 including leadership) being reduced down to 5. Luckily I survived.

My mum died when I was 19 (I’ll be 32 in a few weeks), and the fact she won’t be here to see me get married or have children (if either happen) is a massive regret to me.

I’m probably painting a bleaker picture than I mean to. I’m approaching my six year anniversary with the mrs, we have a lovely three bedroom place, two crazy cats and I have kind of got my career back on track after a bumpy few years.

 

I’m sorry to hear about you and your husbands losses.

My mum was unwell for most of my life, so in a way it wasn’t a complete shock that I lost her at such a young age - how quickly it happened was though.

I’m not religious, no, but I do find comfort in thinking about happier times. Unfortunately we don’t have many photos of mum but the few we do have I treasure.

 

This is a good thread.

Jumbo, many aspects of what you say here strike a cord with me too actually. I put a large part of it down to the fact in the last 2 years I've lost a few close family members, including 3 grandparents. My Grandad I looked up to a great deal and even lived with him and my Nan for a few years once I came back from uni. My other Grandad is terminally ill at the moment and it's only a matter of months or weeks it feels now until I have lost all my Grandparents, in what would be less than 3 years. This has left me feeling empty, it is hard to describe. My relationship with my grandparents was stronger than that with my parents. Their loss has affected me greatly and I feel is a big part in why I feel down a lot now. Like you I have a lovely family life, decent job with a good work/life balance etc.. and have no right to be glum about things. I'm sure I'll get through it, I tend to have quite a stoic attitude about things, but it is not easy.

 

@StuBoy and @Jumbolina

Can I (somewhat indelicately) ask how old you both are? Ballpark would suffice!

I'll explain why....

 

Personal! 38 for my sins.

 

Ah. OK. You're a bit young for the male menopause/mid-life 'crisis' then.

I'm quite a lot older than you but have certainly been feeling a mild sense of dissatisfaction over the past 18 months or so. Mainly work-related: I'm just not energised by my job anymore. I have a sense that I need some sort of new challenge in my life. I think this is probably an age thing but your statement about being generally 'glum about things' struck a chord, which was why I asked.

How personal loss hits you is an unpredictable matter. Both my parents died very early, at 49 and 61. In my Dad's case, wholly unexpectedly. It obviously affected me at the time but perhaps because I had other things in my life - basically, starting out on my career - I don't recally being especially depressed beyond the usual grieving period. Perhaps paradoxically in your case, because the rest of your life is going well, you focus more on the loss than you would if you had lots of other stuff going on.

Amateur psychologist hour over! I'll pm you the invoice.

 

I’m 45. Maybe I’m in mid life crisis mode!

 

I reckon that's just about old enough!