Are You Satisfied With The Life You're Living? Uh!

I was just doing some training and I was interested to read the following. There is a lot of psychological work in care, which is not really understood and less appreciated. Some old people get despairing and loneliness is a huge problem. Anyway, the interesting bit from the training:-

According to Erik Erikson's Stage of Psychological Development, the last stage of a person's life is characterised by reflection on their lives. They look back on their experiences and achievements and either like what they see, which will give them integrity and a feeling of having been true to themselves, or they dislike it, which could lead to feelings of despair and depression as they realise it is now too late to change things.

So when YOU are sat in your slippers on your commode, how will you be feeling when you look back?

Without wishing to blow my own trumpet, I have been completely true to myself, I think. I have always tried to do the right thing and have not been for sale at any price. I have taken personal sacrifices on behalf of others who's fight is not really mine. I have always stood up for the weak and defenceless against the powerful and strong, sometimes at the cost of personal sacrifice. I've never threatened and far less done any violence towards females and I'm reasonably content with how I have raised three militant pioneers for socialism. They are educated in the ways of the world and able to defend themselves against the exploiters.

 

I've always supported my local team and have raised the kids to do the same. Lifes work is achieved.

 

I am resigned to the fact I will spend my twilight years bitterly regretting all the times I managed to mess up going home with a broad from Kudos, due to idiotic behaviour caused by extreme alcohol consumption.

 

It's a good question. For me, I will be happy if my kids grow up happy and free from the anxiety that plagues me. Obviously I hope they will want to see me sometimes, but I don't want them to feel they have to. I'd put up with seeing out my days in a box room in a home somewhere if I know they are content with their lives.

 

I have some regrets (could have worked harder in school, for example), but none regarding the broad strokes.

As dar as legal, ethical things go, I have operated on the principle that I would rather regret something I did than something I didn't since I left uni. It means I've taken some life risks, and I am happier for it.

Good thread, Clive. Excellent thought exercise.

 

Regrets, I have a few, but then again to few to mention.....

 

maybe you should regret not attending English classes..TOO

 

Too early to tell considering I'm 33, but I think I'm on the right track so far.

 

******* hell your life is a complete parallel of mine.

The amount of times it was there for the taking but I muffed it through being 1.5 litres if vodka deep or having an emotional meltdown. I was very much the Andre Gray of taking my chances.

 

Funnily enough, was talking to an old school friend on this topic the other day.

He had risen to be SD for southern England at one of the UKs biggest recruiters. He hated it and jacked it in. He spent a year doing nothing, living off savings and now set up on his own, with no ambitions to conquer.

I was saying I've come to accept where I am. I have much richer friends, with much bigger houses, but also I'm doing alright. We have a nice enough 3 bed semi in a nice spot. I can afford for the kids to pursue hobbies and learn an instrument and they are happy.

I'm never gonna own a super yacht, a holiday home or a sports car. I have worries about being able to afford retirement but I hope I'll manage.

I'm 43 and I'm only just starting to learn the perspective needed for happiness and trying to give my kids a headstart by saving them the wasted years I spent going after what I thought was expected of me rather than what I wanted.

 

I think you smashed it there Moog, well written.
My eldest started a degree and hated it, so switched to a different degree in something she enjoyed, (that was known to pay way less than graduating with her original choice). She's happy and thriving.

 

I had quite a nice clearout on meister's throne this morning. That was pretty satisfying.

Must eat less red meat.

 

I reckon there's a certain amount of money that makes you happy and any more than that brings stress. Until you then have so much money you can pay people to take the stress.

I'm interviewing right now for 4 jobs, the one I've been offered so far is the one I would most enjoy, but is 0 hours and worst paid, but I think I'm going to go for it.

 

I went to Uni because it was expected of me. I studied Classics and whilst the course was interesting, I hated every minute outside of lectures at college. I went from normal and sociable to a loner and a recluse. I suffered badly with depression and did myself all kinds of mental damage.

I dropped out in the end, but not before instilling some deep rooted neuroses and issues well down into my psyche.

 

I'm pretty sure it's £80k. Studies show when you earn anymore than that it brings you no more happiness, once you reach that point you won't increase your happiness through anymore money.*

*quoting from memory so probably wrong.

 

This explains a lot

 

**** off

 

If you were being serious about your university experiences then I apologise, but somehow I don't think you were

 

What do you think I was joking about?

 

Nope I'm not getting drawn in Moog, you are to much of a wind up merchant, and I'm not buying it

 

Just **** off then. I've ignored you for a couple of years now so I don't have to engage with your simple minded idiocy. Do me the same courtesy, so I don't get notifed of your ******** posts.

 

It might be worth contacting the university in question to see if your previous studies there 'count' (they should have kept records of your attendance). Virtually all universities today are focused on getting your money expanding non-traditional routes to study (access, distance-learning etc.) and have some version of credit accumulation and transfer of studies (CATS) especially in courses for thickos humanities subjects. It may be that you could find some courses for personal/professional development if you feel that's something you wanted to do.

 

Not cool, mate.

 

I have big regrets about how much time I wasted at Uni, I had long summers where I pretty much just played golf, football or sat and watched TV. At the time I was still pretty immature and wouldn't have ever been in the right place mentally to go travelling, but now it's a big regret of mine. I'm not in a position where I could just quit my job and go now.

Youth is wasted on the young as they say...

 

Agreed. I didn't take a year off between school and university because I was too immature and I've always regretted it. Ever since, I've advised any teenagers mulling it over to take the break.

 

Yep, my parents are very 'work experience, education etc.' so I chose to do a placement year rather than a year abroad and it's probably my biggest regret. I think if my paretns had been more encouraging i'd have gone abroad. I ended up marketing the university's information department, essentially their library and it was one of the worst years of my life. It did help me get a grad job, but I still regret it.

 

I don't have kids, and I work in a university, but - I think you have done exactly the right thing.

Far too many young people drift into 'academic' HE when they are not suited to, or interested in, it. Education is great, but it needs to be right for you.

 

Yes very happy with the life I'm living now. Great marriage, house, job, finances....though money doesn't make you happy, it gives you one less thing to worry about.
But regret marrying the wrong person 30 years ago, taking 16 years to rectify that, and my 2 kids (now 28 and 26) cutting me out of their lives as a result (amicable split with no-one involved but they have been poisoned against me). Not seen or heard from them for 14 years despite cards, cheques being cashed, letters etc. Refuse to let it define my life so put it in a box and just get on with life. I don't talk about it unless someone brings it up in conversation ....or I get asked a question on WFC Forums like Clive has asked !
Very happily married now, I was my wife's first boyfriend 36 years ago...she spent >20 years looking but couldn't find anyone better

 

If you're not happy then you're not successful...

Find something you enjoy and the rest will fall into place.

 

This man dishes it out all the time, so if he can't take a joke he shouldn't make fun of others

 

What a reaction from someone who is always taking the piss out of others. It was just a joke ffs, but if you can't handle people poking fun at you, then maybe you shouldn't be doing the same to others

 

There's nothing remotely funny about making fun of mental health issues. They've been stigmatised for years, and belittling people who have suffered only perpetuates that cycle and contributes towards ensuring those who need help don't get it.

Mental health is a huge problem in modern society and largely responsible for elevated suicide rates in younger men. There are some things you simply shouldn't poke fun at people for. This is one of them.

If you want to make a joke at Moog's expense I'm sure you can find plenty of other topics that don't require mocking a mental health issue.

 

I don't exactly see why you are sticking your oar in, but to be quite frank I thought it was Moog just being Moog and that he was not being serious and I'm still not sure whether he is winding me up or not.

If you care to look back I did actually apologise to him in case he was being serious, but then he started to be abusive to me so I have just given back what I have got from him.

It was only a joke and if he can't take it as such that is down to him at the end of the day.