Animal Crackers

Discussion in 'Taylor's Tittle-Tattle - General Banter' started by Clive_ofthe_Kremlin, Mar 3, 2024.

  1. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    Presume the owner is pressing the charges? What exactly is he charged with? Surely if a dog runs out in front of you, you hit it and then stop, it's an accident, unless you were speeding or otherwise driving without due care and attention.
     
  2. Otter

    Otter Gambling industry insider

    I'm not sure, it's a touchy subject with him. However it's possible the owner was trying to recover the vet's bill.
     
  3. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

  4. Clive_ofthe_Kremlin

    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin Squad Player

    This is like the fireworks ban callers.

    Stop having your fun and enjoyment. My pet doesn't like it.
     
  5. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    I also question the validity of a dog having a 'panic attack'
     
  6. Otter

    Otter Gambling industry insider

    Having done hang-gliding myself in the past I'm somewhat qualified to answer this. When I did it, it was in the Peak District and the club I was using had permission from various landowners in the area for us to use to land. So assuming these para-gliders had permission from the landowner there is no issue; and as @Clive_ofthe_Kremlin quite rightly points out, just because you have a nervous mutt, why should it's feelings be greater than your fun.
     
    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin likes this.
  7. UEA_Hornet

    UEA_Hornet First Team Captain

    I thought dogs couldn't look up anyway? Fuss over nothing...
     
  8. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth First Team Captain

    Perhaps that's why paragliders suddenly landing out of nowhere, right in front of them, is terrifying.
    If paragliders see any dogs in the field, they should just circle in a Heathrow-style stack until the coast is clear to land.
     
  9. Clive_ofthe_Kremlin

    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin Squad Player

    What would you do if you had rodents in your wheelie bin?

    This woman panicked....

    "She poured around half a bottle of bleach into the bin before adding boiling water from a kettle. After about five minutes, she placed the dead mice into a bin bag and left it out for collection the following day."

    Fortunately there was an animal lover around to witness this pest control outrage.

    "The matter was reported to police, who referred it to the RSPCA."

    So what do you reckon she got? A telling off? Conditional discharge? £50 fine? No, no. This was much more serious.

    "She was sentenced to:

    A) 18 weeks
    prison custody, suspended for 18 months,

    B) ordered to carry out 200 hours of unpaid community service work


    C) Must pay £400 in costs and a £154 victim surcharge (to go directly to the mice families I hope)

    D) Roberts was also banned from keeping animals for seven years



    Over the top?
     
  10. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth First Team Captain

    Surprised she was banned from "keeping" animals, but not banned from "boiling" them.
     
    wfcmoog and Otter like this.
  11. UEA_Hornet

    UEA_Hornet First Team Captain

    To be fair, if these mice had clogs on, which I understand after detailed research they often do, they'd have been making an awful racket. All that clipperty-clopping all day long. No wonder she ended up in a murderous rage.
     
    CYHSYF likes this.
  12. Robert Peel

    Robert Peel Squad Player

    I thought it was a cocktail recipe until the bit about the bin bag.
     
  13. Clive_ofthe_Kremlin

    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin Squad Player

    Royal Mail today announces there were 2,206 dog attacks reported on its colleagues last year, an increase of 15% for the past 12 months to 31 March 2024.

    The figure equates to an average of 42 attacks every week across the UK, with some leading to permanent and disabling injuries.

    The research also found a concerning rise in attacks causing serious and significant injury to postal workers. Figures revealed a 148% increase in these types of attacks - 82 compared to 33 the previous year.

    As in previous years, the majority of dog attacks, 1,078 (49%), took place at the front door. A further 585 (26%) of dog attacks took place in the garden, drive or yard. There were 154 (7%) attacks in the street or road.

    There were 389 injuries suffered through the letterbox - accounting for 18% of attacks on postal workers.
     
  14. hornmeister

    hornmeister Tired

    How the **** do you get an injury through a letterbox? As a 14 year old paperboy I knew not to shove my fingers through. You would expect that the short wearing professionals have at least some health & safety training.
     
    Knight GT likes this.
  15. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    Tends to be the specific species of mice that live in windmills, in old Amsterdam. Particularly there. There on the stair.
     
    CYHSYF likes this.
  16. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    Shoved their **** through.
     
    CYHSYF likes this.
  17. UEA_Hornet

    UEA_Hornet First Team Captain

    *stai're
     
  18. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

  19. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

  20. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth First Team Captain

    How tall are they ?
     
  21. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

  22. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

  23. UEA_Hornet

    UEA_Hornet First Team Captain

    Presumably sign it up to a community walking group? Maybe it could even qualify as a walk leader?
     
  24. CYHSYF

    CYHSYF Academy Graduate

    Take it down the pub and pop it on a bar stool
     
  25. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

  26. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth First Team Captain

    Presumably not very far. It will get tired very quickly, walking everywhere on those little legs.
     
    hornmeister likes this.
  27. hornmeister

    hornmeister Tired

    Have you tried asking the one in your garage to step in? I'm told they speak engilish, well pigeon english anyway.
     
  28. Clive_ofthe_Kremlin

    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin Squad Player

    Mayday! Mayday! Another stupid hound goes over the edge after its stupid owners go for a clifftop walk and let it off its stupid lead.

    [​IMG]

    We can see a stupid turnout of at least 15 (fifteen) suited and booted rescue workers who have turned out as a result. These were apparently "emergency teams from HM Coastguard Fishguard and St Davids".

    Obviously this is a paltry response to such a critical incident so the two stupid rescue teams were joined by stupid "Fishguard RNLI lifeboat which also launched to assist from the water". Quite how is unclear.

    "Coastguard crews began preparing a stupid rope rescue operation. A stupid coastguard officer managed to reach the stupid cliff edge through thick undergrowth and located the stupid dog below, but was unable to safely access it. Two full rope systems were then rigged (!). — one to lower a cliff technician to the animal and another to prevent the stupid dog from running away once reached. In case it didn't want to be rescued or something"

    As the rescuers pondered calling out military helicopters to assist from the air, navy battleships to assist from the sea, the council, the police, the mayor and anyone else who owns a hi-viz and a helmet, there was a sudden massive development in the dramatic situation.......

    "As this was almost complete, the dog decided that he’d had enough and just walked back up to its owners on the path,” said a spokesperson for HM Coastguard Fishguard.

    Oh.

    “A great outcome for all involved.” they said. Apart from us who have to pay for the circus of course. Oh and the oil tanker that smashed into rocks with the loss of all hands and the three swimmers and paddle boarders who died while everyone was busy playing doggies.

    The response to stupid dog owners whose stupid pooch gets into trouble ought to be "oh dear. Well never mind, you can always get another one".
     
    Otter, CYHSYF, wfcmoog and 1 other person like this.
  29. WillisWasTheWorst

    WillisWasTheWorst Its making less grammar mistake's thats important

    I don’t usually agree with a lot of your posts on here, but in this case I do. To me this is similar to those fools who insist on trying to climb a mountain in the middle of winter for the “challenge” and seemingly expect to be rescued when they get into trouble.
     
    Otter, CYHSYF and Clive_ofthe_Kremlin like this.
  30. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    My wife laughs at my irrational hatred of RNLI. My view is, if you go out to sea, you're on your own.

    Sure there are some exceptions. Fishermen, sailors and illegal immigrants who need to be atop the ocean waves, but if people are choosing to go out to sea for leisure, then its up to Poseidon alone whether they return or not.

    As for the expense devoted to rescuing a dog, as a true animal lover myself, it's actually cruel to be rescuing these beloved pets.

    There are thousands of dogs in shelters, awaiting adoption right now. If a dog dies, the owners adopt a new one and reduce that list. It's actually better for more dogs to drown.
     
    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin likes this.
  31. UEA_Hornet

    UEA_Hornet First Team Captain

    I'm the opposite. Normally agree with most of Clive's posts on here but on this one I don’t. This sort of thing is useful real world practice for when a stupid human does the same and needs rescuing. Though I do think the mountain rescue bods should be able to send the bill to the dog owner afterwards.
     
  32. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth First Team Captain

    Maybe, but when the rescue team then attempt to rescue the next human by leaving a trail of winalot biscuits, we'll know there are downsides (not just cliffs and mountains downsides).
     
  33. Otter

    Otter Gambling industry insider

    I agree with Clive but in this instance it's possible that they used it as a training experience knowing that if the dog perished, well it's only a dog.
     
  34. Knight GT

    Knight GT Predictor extraordinaire 2013/14

    I would rather they rescue the dog and leave the stupid human
     
    Jersey Hornet72 likes this.
  35. Clive_ofthe_Kremlin

    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin Squad Player

    "anyone available to rescue a young seagull in xxxxx doesn’t seem to be able to fly at all"
    .

    .

    .
    "I’ve named it boris he’s got water and food and after calling the vet they said he probably hasn’t learnt to fly yet"
     

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