A Royals Rethink

As the 21st century progresses and we have a new monarch, there is some debate about modernising our royalty.

That lady off Brigerton had a point when she said the royal balcony was "terribly white". They are not very diverse at all and if they want to reign over us into the future, then surely they have to reflect more the modern British population?

But how to do it? You can't just introduce new royals into their family!

My idea is that after this one pops off, we should let another family have a go. A more mixed one. Just for a generation or two. Then another family could have the position. That seems much fairer.

How to choose the new family is difficult, but I think probably a lottery. Like the postcode lottery or something.

Of course there will probably be more than one family living at a postcode. I realise that. But perhaps after the winning postcode has been chosen, the families could do some sort of televised gladiators thing where they whack each other with giant earbuds until one falls into the water.

I for one would be far happier kneeling, bowing and pledging Allegiance to a family who won it that way.

 

I've previously been ambivalent to the Royals, but I'm getting more and more anti. I don't like the way they swept Prince Nonce under the carpet, the way they've treated Harry & Meghan, the money spent putting a hat made of gemstones plundered from the empire on a King I don't like, with his adulterous wife now Queen and the simpering hordes on the bandwagon of tending to their every desire. I managed to avoid the coronation by binge-watching Broadchurch, which I'd not seen before and really enjoyed. There are too many extremely rich royal bum-lickers (including the media moguls) with a vested interest in keeping them in place, so it'll never change, however the only rethink I'd like is for them to fade into obscurity after Charles' honeymoon period has worn off.

However I do like the idea of letting another family have a go, not from a lottery, but perhaps the winners of a reality show who can prove they are the most average, relatively normal and unassuming family in the competition, with no royal bloodline, and who will reject and redistribute all the obscene wealth.

 

I think after their points deduction and subsequent relegation a rethink is most definitely in order.

 

I have no particularly strong feelings either way about the Monarchy. I was quite fond of Liz, who was a sort of quietly assuring constant presence since birth, but I feel absolutely nothing for Charlie and pals.

Having said that, after witnessed the horror of presidential elections up close and personal, bugger that as an alternative. The monarchy might be a bit weird but given that they have no power and if it spares us from the b0llocks of electing President Jade Goody or President Boaty McBoatface, I'm content enough with the status quo.

 

I’m also fairly ambivalent, the reality is if they didn’t exist nobody would have more money or be better off despite what they spend, plus things like the coronation etc. act like a big TV advert for the country, so they probably pay for themselves in reality. Despite their riches I also wouldn’t want to be one, with their whole lives under scrutiny and not being able to go and do thing we take for granted. When Harry lived in Frogmore he visited a local pub to where I lived at the time, the landlord said their two security guards came in first, checked everything over, then sat them in the corner and sat in front of them. They came in once more, but then couldn’t come in again because it had been in all the papers.

That isn’t a life I’d want to lead, so I say good luck to them, if they didn’t exist my life wouldn’t be any different either way and neither would anyone else’s, so I don’t really care about them either way.

 

Maybe a new talent show - Britain's Got Royal Talent? - could be used to select the new Royals. I'm sure Channel 4 would be interested if the contestants were naked.
One of the things I like about the current set up is the fact that it's hereditary. Can you imagine the sort of lunatic that would actually apply for the job of King? Or would you trust the British public to elect someone half-way credible if the position of head of state became available? Charles is marvellous and events like the coronation are about the only decent thing about Britain these days. I can understand why some people feel differently but the idea of an elected head of state is too dreadful to contemplate.

 

I wouldn’t mind the monarchy if they roughly broke even between their cost and the revenues they bring to the country. I’m sure they are a significant net cost and while that might not affect me personally, I’m sure that money could be better spent on a few hospitals, more doctors, better aid for the poorest, road maintenance etc.
I’d also love to save the time currently wasted on media reporting.

 

We’ve been here with Brexit though. It wouldn’t go to any of those things.

 

It's not just our media, tbf. Mrs Keighley brought back a copy of Paris Match yesterday which has Kate on the front and pages and pages about the royals inside. The Germans are mad for them (they are German, after all).

I have a feeling that if and when William gets to the throne things might change more in the direction of the bicycling monarchs of Europe.

 

Can we sell them to Europe ?

 

Then they should already be part-subsidizing !

 

Meghan?

 

Tom Bowyer's book, Revenge, is worth reading.

 

Anne?

 

This has to be the strangest point made. What does she think they should do, get somebody to black up for the event or adopt an Indian child

 

I must admit this had totally passed me by.

 

Cheryl Cole ?

 

I'm not convinced they are more of a net cost than delivered by many presidential systems.

 

Many inhabitants of these fair isles are Germanic in origin....

 

HRH Pocahontas?

 

How about alternating families from Yorkshire & Lancashire? It (sort of) worked in the 15th century.

 

Or perhaps Hertfordshire and Bedfordshire? (I’ll get my coat.)

 

Apart from the wars, yes.

 

Err, that was sort of my point….

 

Needs sarcasm emoji, m8.

 

Don’t use emojis…can’t be ar5ed to scroll through to find them. I have this misguided belief people can read a sentence and discern its intent. Na*ve, I know.

 

I was fooled by your 'sort of'. Which could "of" meant, IMO, that you "sort of" thought it did work!

 

Might be able to sell them to this lot over here. I saw a couple of older ladies wearing “coronation celebration” shirts at my kids swim meet last weekend. They go mental for it.

 

Is that the inevitable outcome, though? Possibly I am wrong about this but I get the impression that the Irish President isn’t especially political.

 

I sort of used sort of as (sort of) some sort of sarcasm signifier!