Bargain Hunt

The Blue Team Audition for the remake of Salo.

 

Good saleroom action! Dr Evil looking smug as well as evil. That Rapido chap sounds like he learned his craft at cattle auctions. The tubby weird bluebird was lucky she wasn't accidentally sold. At the whistle, she sounded like she was calving. Calm down, dear; you've not won the Bullseye speedboat, ffs.

 

arf!
Btw getting a great insight into your library's early 1970s section here today, Reg. Locked cabinet job?

 

For those of you that are unaware but interested, Salo, loosely based on a book by the Marquis de Sade, is one of those films, like Cannibal Holocaust, that is extremely well made that pushes the boundaries of what is acceptable. Pasolini obviously had complete contempt bordering on hatred for the 4 pillars of the Italian establishment: the church (The Bishop), the aristocracy (The Duke), the government (The President), and the legal profession (The Magistrate). Representatives of these 4 parts decamp to a region of still fascist controlled Italy near the end of the Second World War , where they carry out their perverted fantasies to the detriment of the local teenage population. The film is separated into 4 segments with intertitles, inspired by Dante's Divine Comedy: Anteinferno, Circle of Manias, Circle of Sh1t, Circle of Blood give a flavour or what to expect. It really is a touch watch but important to see if you can stomach it.

I actually saw this on the big screen as part of a Paolini season at the Picture House in Cambridge. An Italian colleague/friend expressed an interest in seeing it so we decided to go and view. As the subject matter was incredibly contoversial, it was only allowed to be viewed in as a cinema club event, which meant becomming a member of the Picture House cinema for a year. There were about 20 of us in total trooping into a small screening room at the top of the building, like we were going to view a seedy underground snuff film. I've never experienced so much silent wincing before and the audience's only female attendee stormed out after about 20 minutes during one of the early extreme tableaus.

The film so outraged elements in Italian society that Passolini was bumped off not long after the film was preniered. A good companion piece to learn about this aftermath is Abel Ferrara's 2014 film, Pasolini, with Wilem Dafoe giving a suitably haunted performance as the doomed director.

 

Vg. Vintage italian-arthouse reviews... you don't get that on other Watford forums.

btw, iirc, in 'Salo', they end up at one point headfirst in bowls of dogsh*t.
insert your own Portsmouth auctionroom joke...

 

What the fark is she wearing!! Help my eyes hurt.

 

The empty Spurs trophy cabinet joke. Arf, arf.

 

Foghorn attracted to those eye-soringly awful 90s footy shirts.

 

Why does Hawley talk so slowly? She is a terrible host

 

You know who finds this footie shirt talk interesting? Baz. Baz the nerd who collected all those awful shirts and is still a virgin who lives with his mum.

 

Is it as good as Deep Throat?

 

Beenpole Tudor at fault for the Blues losing out on that leather football.

 

Hawley's trousers suit had broken my TV

 

As soon as Foghorn stalked onto the screen at the beginning in that Scotland 78 tribute tartan - ie scots sh*te that makes viewers cry - I knew Reg and moog would be aux anges.

 

New auctioneer to me. Think he's quite local.

 

Should go there more often. I mean, the auctioneer is ****, but the bids are decent.

 

Entertaining, decent episode. Decent auction with melodic Hugo.

 

Is he related to the voice of Bully?

Aaaaand one, his and hers tennis rackets

Fiiiifty to start

Very familiar

 

He was almost singing the bids. It obviously hit the right note as the bids came cascading in.

 

Tim Weeks doing keepy-ups.
"Now I'm a REAL boy!"

 

Bullseye Bully? He's more Tony Bennett than Tony Green. Also, no speedboat as a Bonus Buy. Bourne End obviously has money to burn.

Ah, Bourne End is in Bucks. That explains the profligation of money.

 

You can tell she doesn't know the football vocab. She pronounced 'Hotspur' like a primary schoolkid saying a word out loud for the first time.

 

ISTR that these were manufactured in Elstree Studios during WW2.

 

Great auction. That cockerel was as unexpected a success as Spurs making that EuroCup Final.
And what about that League Cup knockoff BB? Back o' the net

 

We're ******* minted round here.

 

Heh heh.

Mind you, some stunning values there.

 

BBC approved preamble:
Football Special
Bargain Hunt Series 64
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001f87y
Caroline Hawley presents a fever-pitched football special from Detling in Kent. Two teams of football fans shop for three items to take to auction, with the help of experts Tim Weeks and Nick Hall. There’s plenty of friendly rivalry as they try to score the best deals, but who will come out as champions?

Caroline meets Baz Davison to discuss his collection of retro World Cup 1994 football shirts.

The Translation:
Caroline Foghorn Prolapse Hawley is in charge in some Tasteless Tartan Torment Terror, with whistle and cards in hand, to suitably ruin this football special. If this was a genuine 70s football special experience, then everyone would be boarding a train carriage to get biblically munted and then pile off for a massive punch-up. Joining her for this footy extravaganza are chief spotter Tim Treepole Weeks and top boy Plaidy Hall who will take everybody on and then value their sovereign rings and brass knuckles afterwards. Auction is with tuneful tapper Hugo Lemon who will sing in the reddies at his Bucks Bidding Boudoir.

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Caroline Ghoulish Crack Hawley with her exclusive 2 bowls (toilet and washbasin) food poisoning receptacle brand as part of her Anaphylactic Shock collection
[Red Team Expert] Nick Plaid All Over Hall, Forest Fan
[Blue Team Expert] Tim Treepole Tudor Weeks, Gooner
[Auctioneer] Hugo Singing Ringing Lemon Tree , sounds like a dessert.
[Auction Location] Bourne End Auction Rooms, Bucks.
(Miserlin Rating: Unlisted)





The Teams:
[Red Team] Father & Son Wet Spammers.
(Challenge: Appears on the badge of an English football team)
[Blue Team] Mixed sex siblings are follow the Spuds. She is wearing a purple crow nest on her head.
(Challenge: Appears on the badge of a British professional football team)

The Shopping:
Reds: Vintage laced-up leather football (12 Challenge) Fine, Edwardian oak chair with Claret covered seat (89) Good, Swagger stick (49) topend.
Blues: Desktop calendar (10) OK, Set of 3 TG Green Cornishware (75) topend, Murano glass cockerel (17 Challenge) Bargain.

The Distraction:
1990s eye-watering football shirts which Foghorn is instantly drawn towards. I wonder why?

​

The Auction:
Reds: Vintage laced-up leather football (profit), Edwardian oak chair with Claret covered seat (1 squid profit), Swagger stick (nice profit) They shoot they score, Golden gavel awarded.
Plaidy's BB is Vintage Spelter football figure (40), 50-80, 50, Plaidster buries a last minute winner.

​

Blues: Desktop calendar (profit), Set of 3 TG Green Cornishware (evens stevens), Murano glass cockerel (nice profit).
Timpoles's BB is a small silver cup trophy (25), 20-30, 110, Treepole buries it.



The Aftermath:
A melodic Auctioneer caller, tuneful even. Decent auction. Blues make a three figure profit to win but the Reds end up with the Golden Gavel. The cheesy fun is concluded with a trophy presentation to the Blues.



The Hi-Kick:
Conventional indoor kick. Foghoen spares us her Growler move. Nest head Blue is later than a Chopper Harris tackle. Everyone else hits par. Yes, YES!!

​

 

There was an official chocolate truffle recipe that was used for Salo. The wacky world of film memorabilia. Deep Throat was an almost mainstream popular date movie in the 70s. Salo definitely is not. On the subject of date movies, a fellow undergraduate took his new girlfriend to see Blue Velvet when it first came out. Afterwards, she told him how dare he take her to see a film like that and she never wanted to see him again. They were obviously not right for each other. Perhaps she was freaked out by the gas mask he kept in his pocket.

 

Early onset dementia is a sad disease.

 

A la Alan Sugar making the same mistake.

She should do, she's married to former Gooner (and Hull and similarly less glamouress teams), cheroot smoking, hamstring pulling John.

She obviously struggles with an autocue.

 

Eye-watering on all fronts.

 

Trilly has found another battered biscuit tin.

 

What is that Squashed cap pottery used for. Too garish for decoration.

 

Rupert the Bear Spacehopper???