1. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    We're in Lincoln, prime Pork country today, with daft old boar Charl-eh Ross and fellow troughers and rootlers in the woodland of Bargains, Nick Plaid All Over Hall, Keir Stamer's Hobgoblin and Vinderloo variant, and Gary PeePee, Bonus Buyus Sidus Splitus Hilarium. I've been a bit disappointed with Gary's BB recently, as they've been far too sensible rather than his hilarious off-the-wall offerings. Let's wait and see what transpires. Does this mean the Auctioneer will be Colin Speedy Young, the Rapido short-haired non-Rick Wakeman variant, in his Lincoln franchise of PennyPinchers? No, it's Nigel Rees-Moog Kirk in Nottingham who'll be dealing with the riff-raff. Nanny those ghastly people are littering my Auction House.

    Start.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    The Distraction involves treasure hunting at the bottom of your garden. Charleh's Stash of Scandinavian Literature is probably safe for now as long as the slugs don't get to them.
    Distraction.jpeg

    Best friend tax consultant Red Team dodge and avoid their way to:
    (Challenge: Far East)
    Large display glass scent bottle 135, (20-40) Rees-Moog is very sniffy about the scent bottle, 60, big loss, serves you right for being common;
    Burmese wooden elephant (Challenge) 29, (20-30) should be fine, 20, another loss, the Notts Misers are in;
    Dresser-style toast rack 43, (20-30) maybe, probably not, 45, squeaks a profit, here are your pennies, spend them wisely.
    Gary's BB is a candle holder, which is back to his weird best, 24, (20-30) he's not raarlee convinced, a fiver, LOL, a mini-disaster with the mini-organ pipe monstrosity. Well Done Gary you've earned your reputation of the bizarre bargain buys back.

    Reds.jpg

    Brothers-in-law identical twin-tagging Blue Team escape for some rest to provide:
    (Challenge: Lighting)
    Plane of wood Lamp (Challenge) 95, (40-60), 15, oooof, big loss;
    Danecraft silver bracelet 69, (25-35) stingy estimate, 25, oooff again, a loss;
    Victorian glass and silver decanter 32, (20-30), 20, another loss.
    Plaidy's BB is a pair of Arts and Crafts-style bowls 49, (25-40) R-M is vaguely impressed, 20. A Grand Slam of losses from Miser Central.

    Blues.jpg

    What a dreadful Auction. Up there with the worst of Muttley and Rosewell. Only one profit of a couple of quid. Ludicrous, as apart from Gary's bizarre piece of art masquerading as a candelabra, they were normal items and didn't deserve the substantial losses. Ress-Moog clone's sniffy attitude didn't help. I wouldn't dare have this peasant's tat in my mansion house, my butler, will dispose of them immediately. Speaking of the Audience, what a slovenly, miserly bunch.

    ReesMoog2.jpeg Audience.jpeg

    Final Hi-Kick is a standard indoor operation which is well executed with good height from all. Can-can silver medal awarded. Yes, YES!!

    HiKick.jpg
     
  2. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Strict Natasha Raskin Sharp waxes lyrical about Stamford, Lincolnshire the scene for today's BH. Evidently, a very desirable place to live. Lowering the tone is Philip Muttley Serrell, the Dweller of the Dump avec scarf de tat et pull-over de moth, and raising it gain, very posh Kate Shrilly Trilly Bliss, who turns up for the Auction in her 'The Prisoner' outfit again. "It's rare for me to hand over money", Strictly opines, ah a true Scot. Colin Speedster Young in Bourne, Lincs will gives us a Rapido-style Auction at PennyPinchers. Will it be a "20-30/40-60" blanket estimation this time?

    Start.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    The Distraction involves Southwick and the World Conker championships. Careful now, Health&Safety will be after you if you haven't got head to toe full-body armour on. "No compooters in those days" says some bowler-hatted simpleton explaining the rules while showing us his own nuts. Strict Natasha is going to play the World Champion. She has consulted the rule book and is awaiting to DQ him and so be declared the new World Champion. Well there's not so many of those from Sweatyland these days. On the subject of our Tartan friends, it was good to see Billy Connolly in the Auction audience.

    Distraction.jpeg BigYin.jpeg

    Tattooed to buuggery partners Red Team, ***** and ink their way to:
    (Challenge: 4 legs)
    4-sided custom and excise ruler 20, (20-30) ping, 12, hmmm a Muttley-inspired loss;
    WWI collapsable trench ladders 90, (100-150) good chance, 120, nice profit;
    Beswick Corgi (Challenge) 7, (20-30) profit all day long, 20, nice.
    Benny The Ball's BB tatastic Agate pistol waxing seal 25, (25-40) looking good for once, 27, LOL, 2 notes profit, Woo-Hoo. Almost a GG but Muttley does have a penchant for messing up somwhere and someway for his team.

    Corgi.jpeg PistolSeal.jpeg

    Married couple, Spencer is in showbiz, Frank Spencer more like, Blue Team fuss and mither their way to:
    (Challenge: Ladies fashion accessory)
    1920's Silver and enamel brooch 40, (30-50) maybe, 15, oops a loss;
    Vintage ladies hat pins (Challenge) 40, (30-50) maybe, 20, another loss, they were a bit ***** to be fair;
    Clockwork Submarine and box 80, (40-60) ping, 25, another loss, is it going to be a grand slam?
    Trilly No.6's BB Edwardian Pince-nez glasses and aluminium case 15, (20-30) got a chance, 6 pounds, LOL, oh dear, a real bunch of Lincs tightarses.

    Submarine.jpeg Glasses.jpeg

    Victory for the Reds who make a respectable profit and a magnificent Grand Slam of losses for the Blues.

    Missus2.jpg

    Final Hi-Kick is standard indoor setting, reasonable kick, Strict Natasha is always premature and Muttley can't be bothered this time, the lazy scrote.

    HiKIck.jpg
     
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  3. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    Tubby Thomas' auction today is horrendous.

    I hate the way he says 'I can start the bidding at £x' when he doesn't actually have a bid. He can't start there, because he often has to drop.

    Awful miserly buyers today.
     
    reg_varney likes this.
  4. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    All new BH again, Uncle Eric Knowles starts off in the town of Newbury, home of Newbury Racecourse, that house in Downsyndrom Abbey, and famous for the local sweet treat Newbury fruits. The experts are sweetness personified with Raj Dr Evil Bisram, and Nick Plaid All Over Hall, the Keir Starmer waxwork, shuffling through the tat at Adingly Antiques Fair. Talking of Newbury fruits the Auctioneer is Tubby Thomas Forrester, the plump schoolboy, centrepoint for the Berkshire bin scavengers who gravitate towards his Auction House. Profits are very much not on the horizon. They are all stuffed in a mattress in Private Frazer's cold bedroom.

    Start.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    The Distraction involves Uncle Eric sneaking off down the canal, here he finds a secret stash of Gentlemen's literature, some discarded disposable cigarette lighters, and a bag of rotten apples swarming in ants. He then goes on a barge trip along the Kennet and Avon Canal and admires it's radiant off-brown colour thanks to the raw sewage discharge providing much needed waterbourne nutrients.

    Distraction2.jpg

    "We like looking at things married couple" Red Team, spy through the keyhole and observe:
    (Challenge: American connection)
    Stoneware bird water feeder 28, (20-30) maybe not, a tenner, not a good start;
    US knife sharpener (Challenge) 120, (60-100) it might struggle, 20, huge, huge loss, Scrooge rejoices;
    French film projector in a homemade case 30, (30-50) Mon Dieu, 30, Sacre bleu, evens stevens.
    Raj's BB is a silver-collared glass decanter 30, (30-50) maybe, but this is Newbury, 20, poor Raj, undone by the skinflints.

    Sharpener.jpeg Decanter.jpeg

    Reindeer wrangler Blue Team who like, err, things, are conned out of 300 quid to bring us:
    (Challenge: Asian connection)
    Green glass fishing float 20, (30-50), 20, evens stevens;
    19th Century leather chair 150, (50-100) Tubby loves it, but it's damaged, not hopeful, 170, a huge 20 quid profit for Newbury, the moths fly out en masse;
    Cambodian elephant-shaped nut box (Challenge) 48, (40-60) good chance, 15, Steptoe has his elephant.
    Plaidy's BB is an enamelled silver napkin hook holder 35, (40-60) should be a profit, but let's see, 20 notes, Ebeneezer cackles and adds to his hoard.

    LeatherChair.jpeg NapkinHolder.jpeg

    Well Newbury enhances its reputation as being s0dd1ng dreadful for making a profit. Tubby tries but Tubby can't prise open those firmly closed wallets and purses. Both teams made similar losses with their experts on items which should have made a profit. Both had a break even item and both had a modest loss item. The big difference was that the Blue's big ticket item made a profit while the Red's item made a huge loss.

    Newbury has been awarded a WFC Forum Miserlin star.

    Plaidy2.jpeg Raj.jpeg

    Final Hi-Kick is an outside Woody, uneven grass, Covid diagonal special, well executed, everyone makes a decent attempt. Bronze Can-Can awarded.

    HiKick.jpg
     
  5. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Should be the Newbury Dutch Auction House. Horrendous. Worthy of its Miserlin Star.
     
    wfcmoog likes this.
  6. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    BBC should have a Bargain Hunt FA Cup Final special.

    How much do we bid for these L*t*n T*wn FA Cup Final medals?

    A big fat zero as they don't exist.

    LOL.
     
    wfcmoog likes this.
  7. WillisWasTheWorst

    WillisWasTheWorst Its making less grammar mistake's thats important

    Unfortunately that is an open goal for any L*t*n fan seeing this. :(
     
  8. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    I will feel doubly sad for any L*t*n fan so bored that they are trawling through non-Footy threads on an "away" Forum. No doubt they will lay claim to their bulging Trophy cabinet and their "Radio Rentals" Cup win in the days when you couldn't qualify for Europe. Well good for them to join the illustrious pantheon of winners which include Swindon, QPHa, Maxwell's Oxford etc. What an elite group. Get to an FA Cup SF and the choking starts followed by the nosebleeds.
     
  9. WillisWasTheWorst

    WillisWasTheWorst Its making less grammar mistake's thats important

    You’ve got to make your own entertainment in L*t*n.
     
    reg_varney likes this.
  10. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Obviously, BH is only allowed to be held in a few select locations, well away from sink estates or large town/city ghettos. The sort of places which are often quietly and not so quietly Blue Wall. Gently extolling middle-classness while slowly evolving to meet the current BBC tick-box guidelines, BAME (tick), same sex couples (tick), OAPs, whacky students, local populance aka northern stereotypes. Today it's the mean streets of Shrewsbury, or more precisely the Antiques and Collectables Fair at the West Mid Showground, with Strict Natasha Raskin Sharp and the urbane and delightful Roo Irvine and the been at the Wolfbane and woeful Danny Tat-T1t Squeakbastian. The programme summary says the Auction is in East Yorks, hopefully that doesn't mean Caroline Hawley. Oh bollox it does. Arrrrggggghhhhhh. What nauseau inducing outfit will it be today as she bellows <insert a number> pouuuuunnnnnddddssss, THWACK. She really is dreadful. Profit danger in skinflinting Yorkshire.

    StartA.jpg

    The Distraction involves someones huge poptastic Pop Culture collection incorporated in a homemade Land Of Lost Content Museum. A 'The Damned/Bauhaus' stencilled leather jacket caught my eye. Lets hope Strict Natasha will Smash It Up, I Double Dare her to do it.

    DistractionA.jpg

    There are so many items in this segment that will jog your memory when you watch it. I've included 8 grabs of assorted items for your nostalgia fix.

    DistractionB.jpg

    Bizarrely, it's a Roo-in-a-box to guide, mother and referee son Red Team, book and send off to gain:
    (Challenge: Glass)
    Art deco silver-topped sugar sifter (Challenge) 18, (15-25) should be OK, 20 pouuuuunnnnnddddssss, edges a profit;
    Ship's wooden bottle bottle cabinet 140, (80-120) who knows, 100 pouuuuunnnnnddddssss, she undersells;
    Pair of shoe maker's shoe last lamps 50, (20-40) might stuggle with a Steptoe crowd, 35 pouuuuunnnnnddddssss, no surprise.
    Roo's BB is an enormous magniying glass for frying giant ants 20, (20-30) let's see (ho-ho), 45, decent profit.

    Bottle.jpeg MagnifyingGlass.jpeg

    Old door hinge, who is incredibly squeaky today, is set lose on, father "we know what we like" and daughter, "he's also my mate", hold on are we in Norfolk, "I don't like spoon" unify as the Blue Team, they inbreed to produce deformed:
    (Challenge: Leather)
    9 squeatastic wooden crates straight from the skip 35, (20-40), 45 pouuuuunnnnnddddssss, a squeaky tenner made;
    Gladstone bag (Challenge) 20, (10-20), 30 pouuuuunnnnnddddssss, another small profit, GG?;
    Wooden sea-saw 75, (30-50) there's some interest, 45 pouuuuunnnnnddddssss, no effort in trying to squeeze more, useless auctioneering.
    Squeak's BB, he rubs his hands in glee, is a French 19th Century Boot Last, really tatastic, Squeakmeister demonstrates its use as a vintage strap-on 70, snigger on many fronts, (40-60) undervalued as usual for Yorks, 10 pouuuuunnnnnddddssss, quite right for such a useless piece of junk. Well done Squeak, a big loss.

    SeaSaw.jpeg StrapOn.jpeg

    Roo had a good day with her item but couldn't steer her Red team away from big spend gambles which are ulikely to pay off in Caroline Hawley's Awful Auction House. A real Misers Palace in Naff Vegas. Squeaky helped with a couple of small profits then got a absolutely dreadful overpriced piece of rubbish which stank the place out and sank without trace.

    RooLaugh.jpeg Squeak.jpeg

    Final Hi-Kick is an outside Covid diagonal on grass, well executed apart from Dan-Dan Squeaksonic Man who can barely get his leg up after pleasuring himself with the Boot Last.

    HiKick.jpg
     
  11. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    All New BH, brought to you from North Wales, where cracker Christina Trevanion is once again in Wrexham at the Vacant Antique Centre with handmaidens Tim Timpole Tudor Wunderbar Weeks and gently effeminate Jonathan JP Pratt with his prospective Tory MP wardrobe. The Auction is in Dudley, which means Tubby Thomas Forrester nee Plant and his mildly zany glasses, the plump schoolboy in his Tuck Shop gambling rooms. I can't remember if Dudley Auctions are particularly good or bad. So let's have a closed mind about it. I would remain doubly cautious about profits as it's the West Midlands, choco-miser-tastic territory.

    Start2.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    The Distraction involves Chester Drawers collection of silver. It appears to have gone missing. Blame Arthur.

    ChesterSilver.jpg

    Married retired couple, including a dreaded T1t-T1t-Twoo Woy Hodgson lookalike, the male or female, I'll let you decide, Red Team acquire:
    (Challenge: Antique (100 yr old) still used today)
    Pair of Dalton Onion vases 25, (20-30) TubbyTick, 10, Moth Misers rejoice;
    Three-handled Dalton Tyg mug (Challenge- Strict Natasha would've DQ-ed it) 40, (60-100) big TubbyTick, 10, Steptoe has a new mug;
    Sheffield silver desk set 79, (30-50) TubbyCross, 130, big profit. Well Tubby got all those valuations completely wrong LOL.
    JP's BB is a Victorian green glass and enamelled decanter 16, (30-50) TubbyTick, 30, a tidy profit from genteel JP.

    SilverDeskSet.jpeg Decanter.jpeg

    Witch-like Mother and Daughter Blue Team Double, double toil and trouble to:
    (Challenge: Antique not in use today)
    Travelling School Trunk 32, (20-30) TubbyNeutral, 20, a loss;
    Wooden Chemist chest (Challenge) 120, (50-80), TubbyCross, 35, massive loss, Ebeneezer has something to soothe his cough;
    "Unusual" Chess set 20, (50-100) big TubbyTick, 10, it sill made a loss, does Steptoe play chess?
    Treepants' BB is a tin-plate vintage van 22, (30-50) TubbyTick, 25, scrapes a profit.

    ChemistSet.jpeg Vehicle.jpeg

    Apart from the contemporary silver desk set which went for good money, all the other items were sold for relative pocket change, reaffirming the West Midlands as being very Miser friendly.

    RoysReds.jpeg BlueWitches.jpeg

    Final Hi-Kick is an indoors Covid diagonal special. Treepants Tim and Blue Girl get good height but everyone else is just about par.

    HiKIck.jpg
     
  12. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Ye Gods, it's the b@st@rd offspring of Dame Edna/Grayson Perry/Captain Densible as Charl-eh camps it up good and proper in Lewes. Holding their noses and averting their eyes in a state of shock will be Danny Tat-T1t Squeakbastian and John Marine Boy Cameron. The auction is in Billingshurst, where the eff is that, ah it's in Horsham. At least, as Marine Boy is here, it's not in Portsmisermouth. Hold on we've been to Billingshurst before and we had a half-decent Auctioneer Will Pasfield at Bellmens or should that be Bellends. So it's only idiot contestants and Squeaky Sebastian who can really mess up this tat bazaar merry-go-round.

    BloodyHell.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    The Distraction involves vintage clothing. An Oriental lovely, stylish models some classic clothing. Charleh hopes he will be loved longtime.

    Distraction.jpeg Shame.jpeg

    Brooding London bus driver husband and wife, world record kissing Red Team present:
    (Challenge: Vintage apparel)
    Victorian bamboo tiled table 75, (20-40) may struggle, 30, big loss;
    Vintage leather handbag (Challenge) 19, (10-20) might be OK, 15, another loss, as predicted;
    Harrods staghorn carving knife 60, (40-60) good-good says Charleh, 80, nice profit.
    Marine Boys BB late 19th/early 20th century marble carved corbels 35, (20-40), 45 nice profit, well done MB.

    Table.jpeg Marble.jpeg

    Besties Mother and Squeaky Daughter pre-schooling Blue Team, squeak in unison with squeaky for:
    (Challenge: Retro)
    Weird 'n creepy crying child fly-on-the-nose pincushion 30, (20-40) got a chance, 25, small loss;
    Silver cruet set 60, (20-40) bit overpriced, 25, as valued, another squeak-inspired loss;
    1970s sewing box, DanTatTastic (Challenge) 79, (20-40) SqueakyDud? yup, 15, LOL, it was rubbish.
    Squeak's BB, is it straight from the skip?, yup, 18th century wrought iron pot stand, rusty rubbish 70, (30-50), 55, a loss. It was awful tat. A Squeaky Strikes again masterclass. LOL.

    Blues.jpg

    Two teams who overspent, one guided by Danny Helium, so a massive overspend on a Grand Slam of losses. Both teams actually wanted him. God knows why, his landfill, straight from the skip inspired rubbish are almost guaranteed to lose the contest.

    RedLoss.jpeg BlueLoss.jpeg

    Outdoor standard final Hi-Kick, reasonably well executed except for the corpulent Red couple who can barely get their feet off the ground.

    HiKIck.jpg
     
  13. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    It's Strict Natasha Raskin Sharp's turn to galavant around Southwell/Southall racecourse in Nottinghamshire to be joined in holy BH matrimony with hubby Tubby Thomas Forrester, the plump schoolboy, and page boy Timpole Tudor Wunderbar Weeks. This could well mean the auction is with crumpled James Lewis next to some bins in Derbyshire, the Hammering Hobo modelling the Mick George collection. Except, this time its Charles Hanson and his Amazing Technicolour Dreamblazer which always bodes well.

    Start.jpg Auction.jpeg

    The Distraction concerns a mystery glass item. Not that much of a mystery, it's a Penny Lick. The Victorian ice cream superspreading vessel. This has to be one of the weakest Distractions ever.
    Distraction.jpeg

    Boyfriend's dad and potential daughter-in-law Red Team bring:
    (Challenge: Edwardian)
    Pair of Art Deco Shelley plate and bowl 15, (20-30) profit all day long, 30 nice profit;
    Edwardian hatpins and holders (Challenge) 45, (20-30) maybe, 35, a loss despite Hanson using all his tricks;
    Black Forest jewellery box 239, (100-150) oh dear, lots of interest, 210, falls short.
    Tubby's 1 squid BB is an Art Deco pocket watch, (20-30) Hanson creams himself, 50 s0ds, superb bit of auctioneering but TubbyBigBuys well done Tubs.

    JewelleryBox.jpeg Watch.jpeg

    Mother and daughter Blue Team obtain:
    (Challenge: A child might have)
    Large wood and metal toy train (Challenge) 160, (50-100) oh dear again, 40, derailed, huge loss;
    1930s Stoneware jar 8, (10-20) bargain says Hanson, 35, very decent profit, excellent gavelling again;
    Two woodworm infested crates 18, (20-30) should be fine, 42, another decent profit.
    Beanpole's BB is an Erkol wooden plate rack 28, (30-40) he likes it, 40 notes, nice profit. Beanpole Bingo.

    Train.jpeg PlateRack.jpeg

    Once again we see the peerless (as Auctioneer) Charles Hanson turning on the style to make the magic happen on today's proceedings, maximising the profits on some potentially tricky items. The only real dud was the handmade model train.

    RedWin.jpeg BlueLoss.jpeg

    Final Hi-Kick is a regular indoor elevation, Strict Natasha is quick off-the-draw, while Blue Mother and Tubby Thomas make token efforts, as he bursts his shirt and trousers.

    HiKick.jpg
     
  14. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Self-confessed pot-aholic Uncle Eric Knowles are rummaging around an antiques centre in Dagfields, Cheshire. Today (S52E25) marks a pivotal point in the history of BH, the introduction of the £75+ and presenter themed item challenges. Helping to enforce these new rules (where's Strict Natasha when you need her) are Gauleiter Ben Carlos Wispa Cooper, the George Michael tribute act and Commissar Sports Mad Richard D1ckko Madley not Madeley. Auction is from Dudley, with local Chris Aston, replete in smoking jacket, must be the latest trend in West Midlands. This is pre-SAS (Special Auction Services) headed-up by Tubby Thomas Forrester who stormed and took over these Auction Rooms in Oct 2020, TubbyTakeover.

    Start.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    After the earth-shattering rule changes, The Distraction involves Uncle Eric being re-educated at Keele University, part of the University in the Middle of Nowhere group, where he is radicalised, grows a beard, smokes a pipe, and starts wearing brown corduroy trousers. Expect BH to be featured in Marxism Today if it still existed. He is also finds out a special ingredient that improved the manufacture of English porcelain, namely Ironstone aka ground up proles.

    Distraction.jpg

    Woolly-hatted/headed husband and wife Red Team bring us:
    (Challenge: Indian connection)
    Wooden shed-built train engine 30, (20-40), 35, small profit, good start;
    Pair of Satsuma Big Vase 80, (30-50), 50, a loss, they were a bit overpriced;
    Elephant novelty teapot and wooden elephant carving (Challenge) 15, (15-25), 20, small profit, spot on valuations too.
    D1ckko's BB is an cast iron advertising sign 10, (25-35), 30, nice profit. Well done ****ko.

    Elephants.jpeg Sign.jpeg

    Retired husband and his internet bride wife Blue Team, she twirls round a pole and empties his bank account while acquiring:
    (Challenge: Named Staffs pottery)
    Trench art shell case 28, (20-30), 25, small loss;
    Arthur Wood Art Deco pottery jug (Challenge) 6, (10-15), 12, nice little profit;
    Georgian silver mustard pot (minus spoon) 80, (70-100) he loiks it, 90, another profit, and bang-on estimates, shame he got replaced by Tubby.
    Carlos BB's is a Victorian carved ebony black owl pincushion 15, (25-35), 30 notes, a nice prfoit, Carlos did gooooood.

    MustardPot.jpeg Owl.jpeg

    A close contest today. A good standard episode. Some interesting bits and no play-acting histrionics.

    RedGurn.jpeg Auctioneer.jpeg

    Final Hi-Kick is a standard indoor leg-up. Pretty disappointing, despite there being 3 pensioners. The wide-angle camera lens doesn't really help either.

    HiKick.jpg
     
  15. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    It's brand new and it's back to the Cheltenham racecourse with Strict Natasha Raskin Sharp and her juniors, both experts in producing splitting headaches as well as losses, aural expert Danny Sebastian, with his metal scraping down a blackboard soothing voice, and visual vexation expert Caroline Hawley with another from her head-spinning nausea collection. Auction is from Bishton Hall, Staffs, with Charles Hanson and his Amazing Technicolour Dreamblazer, freshly cut from the Deckchair collection.

    Start.jpg Auction.jpeg

    The Distraction involves an injector butter stamp. Pretty lightweight. Next.

    Distraction.jpg

    Verger and town crier father and daughter Red Team buy:
    (Challenge: Art Deco)
    Art Deco style green glass grapefruit bowl (Challenge) 5, (10-15) bargain, 14, nice little profit;
    Wooden medical chest 89, (80-120) he likes it, 110, decent profit;
    Enamelled silver hip flask 159, (30-50) low-grade silver, oh fark, 50, big, big loss.
    The Squeak's BB is some dreadful skipware?, no, it was the Liptons George V tea caddy from earlier 9, (20-40), Charlies loves it and things it's a bargain, 40. A Squeak profit in a sea of past duds.

    Flask.jpeg Caddy.jpeg

    Mixed ethnicity (box tick) half-american male and multi-chinned female couple Blue Team bring forth:
    (Challenge: Art Nouveau)
    Navajo silver horse pendant 40, (30-40) got a chance, 20, a loss, hmmm;
    Art Nouveau stamp case 4, (10-20) another bargain, 18, nice profit;
    Norewegian enamelled silver snowdrop gilt necklace 200, (30-50) LOL hahahaha, 80, big loss.
    Hawley buggers off from the Auction yet again. This is a becoming a habit. Absent Headache Hawley's BB is a silver?, Royal Ascot top hat and box 50, (50-80), could do well, 45, a loss. Stick to silver Caroline.

    Necklace.jpeg TopHat.jpeg

    Some bargains today and some very foolhardy gambles, even Hanson was shaking his head.

    Ogres.jpeg BlueLoss.jpeg

    Final Hi-Kick is an outdoor, grassy, Covid, diagonal special. Squeakmaster gives us a close-up of his grim groin. Not good.

    HiKIck.jpg
     
  16. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    BBC approved preamble:
    Liverpool 26
    Bargain HuntSeries 55
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000gh0l
    Eric Knowles and experts Gary Pe and David Harper take two more teams bargain hunting at Liverpool’s St George’s Hall. Eric also crosses the Mersey to find out about the world’s finest collection of Della Robbia pottery.

    The Translation:
    Uncle Eric is in Grudgepool, cityport of thieves. Scousers antiques fair, everything legit, yeah right. Helping him with the knock-off items, are Gary Pee and Dayglo David. The intro overdoes the judicial theme. Send them all down.

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Uncle Eric Knowles, a safe pair of hands.
    [Red Team Expert] Gary PeePee, Bonus Buyus Bizarrus Sh1ttus
    [Blue Team Expert] Dayglo David Harper, the Teeside Tat Trouserer
    [Auctioneer] Adam Aha Partridge, your snuff box is about 30 mil from my gland.
    [Auction Location] Livermoan
    (Miserlin Rating: Approved)

    Start.jpeg Auction.jpg

    The Teams:
    [Red Team] Two sisters from Manchester.
    (Challenge: Four legs)
    [Blue Team] Pair of female manager colleagues
    (Challenge: Nature)

    The Shopping:
    Reds nab a gilt metal and enamel bracelet, Art Deco sculpture (Big + Challenge), Crruise liner card box and cards. Partridge is very dismissive of the Reds items.
    Blues nab a pair of 1920s Chester silver bon bon dishes (Big), a bovine horn snuff box (Challenge), remote control toy car and box. Aha is a little more hopeful for the Blues items.

    The Distraction:
    Something involving Daylight Robbery pottery. How apt for Scousepool. The Curator of the Williamson Art Gallery is Colin Simpson. Good to see he has thrived after his Watford FC career.

    Distraction.jpg

    The Auction:
    Gilt metal and enamel bracelet (Loss), Art Deco sculpture (Big Loss), Cruise liner card box and cards (Evens stevens). The items are dismissively sold in double-quick time.
    Gary's BB is a 19th Century French scent bottle with stopper, it also makes a significant loss. A pretty tight-fisted lot at the auction.

    Sculpture.jpeg ScentBottle.jpeg

    Pair of 1920s Chester silver bon bon dishes (Loss), a bovine horn snuff box (Evens stevens), remote control toy car and box (Profit - amazingly so), I wonder if the hub cabs were still on it after the Auction..
    Dayglo's BB is solid silver 1960s/70s necklace. Internet loves it, but not enough. A loss.

    ToyCar.jpeg Necklace.jpeg

    The Aftermath:
    Both teams have losses from a shocking auction, from the dismissive, can't be arsed auctioneer to the Miserly scouse skinflints.

    RedLoss.jpeg BlueLoss.jpeg

    The Hi-Kick:
    Pretty standard indoor lick. Gary and one of the Red girls are slow on the uptake.

    Hi-Kick.jpg
     
  17. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    BBC approved preamble:
    Southwell 16
    Bargain HuntSeries 61
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0017nsv
    Charlie Ross heads to Southwell in Nottinghamshire, where experts Mark Stacey and Steph Connell are on hand to guide the teams around the antiques stalls. Charlie discovers a fully fossilised Tyrannosaurus skeleton in a rather surprising location.

    Start.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    The Translation:
    Senile posh fool Charl-eh Ross is back at Southwell/Southall racecourse in Nottinghamshire yet again helped along by his senior care assisstants Sarky Marky Stacey and Steph Connell. In a rare moment of clarity the silly old t1t looks in the mirror and sees a fully fossilised Tyrannosaurus skeleton staring back at him. ​

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Charl-eh Ross, the gurning omnifool
    [Red Team Expert] Sarky Marky Stacey, the sleazy, slurry somnambulist
    [Blue Team Expert] Stephanie Connell, the Cockermouth Cumbrian, the Auction-world state-educated trailblazer, poster girl for The 93%
    [Auctioneer] Crumpled James Lewis, who looks like he's been found next to some bins, the Hammering Hobo modelling the Mick George collection.
    [Auction Location] Derbys
    (Miserlin Rating: Unlisted)

    The Teams:
    [Red Team] Nadhim Zahawi hairdressing brother and sister-in-law
    (Challenge: Clip or clasp)

    [Blue Team] Same sex (box ticked) female partners, slow coaches and fussy. Grey haired half is very blunt, like her joinery.
    (Challenge: Hook or loop)

    The Shopping:
    Reds grab an Georgian-style silver cream jug (69), George V silver evening purse (75 Challenge), Spode meat plate (10). Hail Spose, hail Spode. (PG Wodehouse inspired joke there).
    Blues silver rose brooch (18 Challenge), Treen string barrel (85), Whitefriars blue glass vase (51).

    The Distraction:
    Wollaton Hall is where Charlie meets Titus T-Rex, a very apt name for all those Steptoes bidding at the Auction. Titus is mounted on a Pole, as he twirls round Charlie eyes glaze over and he passes out.

    Distraction.jpg

    The Auction:
    Georgian-style silver cream jug (loss), George V silver evening purse (loss), Spode meat plate (small profit).
    Sarky BB is a bronze horse and rider 120, LOL, probably not. Horse has a wonky leg too. Big loss. What was he thinking.

    Spode.jpeg Horsey.jpeg

    Blues silver rose brooch (nice profit), Treen string barrel (big loss), Whitefriars blue glass vase (small loss).
    Steph's BB is a silver pendant (35) crumpled likes it, (small profit). Well done Steph.

    Barrel.jpeg Pendant.jpeg

    The Aftermath:
    Internet only so profits are more difficult and doesn't give the Auctioneer a room to work with. Still we had Sarky doing a Hanson with a real overpriced piece of tat, it even had a deformed leg, ridiculous. Steph managed to get a small profit on her item reinforcing her reliability as an expert.

    RedLoss.jpeg BlueLoss.jpeg

    The Hi-Kick:
    Outside diagonal covid special on uneven grass. About as par as you can get.

    HiKIck.jpg
     
  18. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    BBC approved preamble:
    Elsecar 3
    Bargain Hunt Series 53
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0006hky
    The Bargain Hunt team pay a visit to Elsecar. Today’s show is fronted by Anita Manning and lending a hand to the teams are Tim Weeks and Caroline Hawley. Both teams race around the antiques centre pursuing potential purchases for profit at auction. Meanwhile, Anita is monkeying around with a Meissen collection.

    Starts.jpg
    The Translation:
    After some ferret scaring, McWitch flies into Elsecar Heritage Centre, Barnsley, S Yorks to hopefully find some more antique broomsticks. Helping her hubble and bubble while stiring the caldron are Timpole Weeks and Caroline Technicolour Yelp Hawley. I dread to think what McWitch Meisen Monkeying involves.

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Anita McWitch Manning
    [Red Team Expert] Timpole Tudor Wunderbar Weeks aka Spongehair Treepants, he surprises them from a van
    [Blue Team Expert] Caroline Psychotronic Hawley, wearing the latest from The Migraine collection
    [Auctioneer] Rob Lee, "Yorkshire, Yorkshire, Yorkshire!!!!"
    [Auction Location] Sheffield
    (Miserlin Rating: Approved)

    Surprise.jpg

    The Teams:
    [Red Team] Husband and Drama Teacher Wife, who is a local radio wannabe presenter slave while he follows Wednesday we doooooo, O' Wednesday we luv yooooouuuuuuu.
    (Challenge: Carrying things)
    [Blue Team] Vinyl loving Partners (the records not the fetish outfits I presume) including toothy Elvis who equates Trains with Trainers.
    (Challenge: Trains)

    The Shopping:
    Reds have Bottle collection (15 Challenge), autographed footy pics, including Twaddle and co (-15, pay him to take them away), fibreglass Yorkshire Rose sign (looks like a Sam Smiths sign) (75) panic overpaying.
    Blues have silver mounted diary (40), BR hand carry lamp (50 Challenge), Moorcraft Ginger jar (80).

    The Distraction:
    Porcelin Meissen Monkey figures. Trully bizarre collection. McWitch casts a spell on them. They jump around throwing tea everywhere. McWitch considers calling in Tarzan to take control. Lo and behold MonkeyPox was from this point in time created.

    Distraction.jpg

    The Auction:
    Reds: Bottle collection (break even), autographed footy pics (small profit), fibreglass Yorkshire Rose Sam Smiths sign (loss).

    Autographs.jpeg Sign.jpeg

    Blues: Silver mounted diary (profit), BR hand carry lamp (small loss), Moorcroft Ginger jar (loss).

    Diary.jpeg Moorcroft.jpeg

    Beanpoles's BB is a set of 10 70s Speedway badges (25) and makes a small profit. Well done Treepants
    Caroline's BB is a boxed Hornby electric train set (90), maybe, maybe, nope, it's a loss. Stick to silver Hawley.

    Badges.jpeg TrainSet.jpeg

    The Aftermath:
    Titus lives in South Yorkshire. The Miserly stereotypes are just reinforced in a skinflinting auction. Mainly losses and only a couple of small profits. Caroline Hawley didn't help matters. She's knowledgeable but doesn't turn it into good judgement. Tim Weeks is still one of the better experts.

    The Hi-Kick:
    Standard indoor HiKick. Half-arsed and badly executed. Welcome to the McWitch gold standard.

    HiKick.jpg
     
  19. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    BBC approved preamble:
    Newbury 27
    Bargain HuntSeries 54
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000dcck
    Natasha Raskin Sharp is joined by Charles Hanson and David Harper in Newbury, where Natasha meets Peter Ellis, a collector of pop concert tickets and other pop memorabilia. At the auction room in Chippenham, the reds and blues battle it out to be Bargain Hunt's Top of the Pops. Only one team can be number one. Which one will it be?

    The Translation:
    There's a behind-the-scenes feel to today's BH intro, as Strict Natasha Raskin Sharp reels off some stats. She is joined by fluffers Charles The Man in the White suit Hanson and Dayglo David Harper. Strict Natasha turns into full-blown ticket inspector looking for the most minor infringement in a collection of concert tickets while letting everyone know during the programme narration that she is the boss. Yes Maam.

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Strict Natasha Raskin Sharp
    [Red Team Expert] Charles Madness, madness they call it madness Hanson
    [Blue Team Expert] DayGlo David Harper, the Middlesbrough Montelbano
    [Auctioneer] Timpole Tudor Wunderbar Weeks
    [Auction Location] Wessex Auction Rooms
    (Miserlin Rating: Unlisted)

    Start.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    The Teams:
    [Red Team] Father and daughter
    (Challenge: Photography)
    [Blue Team] Female friends since schooldaze
    (Challenge: Has a face)

    The Shopping:
    Red: Art Deco silver and enamel vanity set (170) overpriced but in great nick, 1960s Ilford film camera and case (10 Challenge) possible bargain, Poole pottry vase (33).
    Blue: Enamelled metal sign (24) good deal, Oriental mother-of-pearl and soapstone tray (30 Challenge), Dutch Delft tiles and a bottle (100) will probably struggle.

    The Distraction:
    Music memorabilia including old gig tickets. Oh dear bloody Hawkwind. I also remember tickets were often quite decorative and would be adorned on student bedroom walls next to the poster of the female tennis player (Fiona Butler) scratching her ar$e.

    Distraction.jpg

    The Auction:
    Red: Art Deco silver and enamel vanity set (sizeable loss), 1960s Ilford film camera and case (micro profit), Poole pottery vase (small loss).
    Hanson BB, follytastic?, no, an old earthenware bowl and Georgian ale glass (50), it has a chance, makes a profit. Well done Charles, less is more.

    VanityCase.jpeg GlassAndBowl.jpeg

    Blue: Enamelled metal sign (nice profit), Oriental mother-of-pearl and soapstone tray (small profit), Dutch Delft tiles and a bottle (sizeable loss).
    Dayglo's BB is a 1950's French globe lamp (55), overpriced?, yep, small loss. Never mind.

    DelftTiles.jpeg Globe.jpeg

    The Aftermath:
    A bit tight from the Auction audience today. Beanpole tried his hardest but couldn't quite get more blood out of the stones.

    RedLoss.jpeg BlueLoss.jpeg

    The Hi-Kick:
    Outdoor on grass. Hanson really gives it some and almost loses his balance. Dayglo gives it a good go but the contestants give a rather feeble effort.

    HiKick.jpg
     
  20. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    BBC approved preamble:
    Anglesey 23
    Bargain HuntSeries 55
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000gp9y
    At the Anglesey Showground, the reds and blues do battle alongside antiques experts Roo Irvine and Richard Madley. Presenter Charlie Ross travels back in time to explore crime and punishment at Beaumaris's Victorian gaol.

    The Translation:
    Gurning idiot Charl-eh Ross pays a visit to the Anglesey Showground in the North-west point of Wales. He's put in the stocks and pelted with disagreeable items supervised by the nicely booted, Delightful Roo Irvine and SportsMad Richard Madley not Madeley. Two decent experts so there is hope. Will depend on the Auctioneer and the Auction abode.

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Omnifool Charl-eh Ross and his pownds
    [Red Team Expert] Delightful Roo Irvine
    [Blue Team Expert] Richard Madley not Madeley, SportsMad D1ckko Madders
    [Auctioneer] Chris Large, not seen him before, but Nantwich should have some money floating about.
    [Auction Location] Peter Wilson's, Nantwich, Cheshire
    (Miserlin Rating: Unlisted)

    Start.jpg

    The Teams:
    [Red Team] Unmarried couple, practically illegal in Anglesey
    (Challenge: Precious or semi-precious stone)
    [Blue Team] Silver Anniversary Husband and wife
    (Challenge: Holds a liquid)

    The Shopping:
    Reds: 14ct Ruby & Diamond engagement ring (75 Challenge), looking good, Toy pedal car (45), Charlie hates but Auctioneer likes, Art Deco style barometer (18), not hopeful even at that price.
    Blues: Royal Dalton pottery dogs (90), overpaid, Jobling glass bird calendar (100), well overpaid, Pair of glass decanters (20 Challenge) might be OK.

    The Distraction:
    The posh fool heads off to Beaumaris jail. There's a remote pulley
    rock-abye-baby pulley system. After pulling on it a few times, Charleh yawns, his eyes glaze over and he nods off for an agreeable 40 winks.

    Distraction.jpg

    The Auction:
    Blues: Royal Dalton pottery dogs (big loss), Jobling glass bird calendar (big loss), Pair of glass decanters (loss). Triple crown.
    D1ckko's BB is the red Murano-style glass fish vase (30), posh twit hates it, auctioneer is OK with it, 25, A Grand Slam of losses. Oh dear.

    Dogs.jpeg Fish.jpeg

    Reds: 14ct Ruby & Diamond engagement ring (nice profit), Toy pedal car (nice profit), GG incoming, Art Deco style barometer (Squeaks a profit). A Golden Gavel, excellent work.
    Roo's BB Edwardian silver opera/racing/field binoculars (50), in need of TLC, maybe, (30) a gamble that didn't pay off. Roo was being nice to the Red lady who was a bit reserved, so bought an item she liked.

    Reds.jpg

    The Aftermath:
    Roo-inspired Reds trounce the Blues. Golden gavel including the rusty old pedal car profit that posh t1t hated, LOL, vs a Grand Slam of losses. The pottery and glass items weren't crap, they just paid too much for them.

    RedWin.jpeg BlueLoss.jpeg

    The Hi-Kick:
    Standard indoor hi-kick. Not bad but the blue end are a bit off.

    HiKick2.jpg
     
  21. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    That auctioneer was dreadful, but fair play to Roo's team for managing to pry a golden gavel out of that dreadful haven of scrooges.
     
  22. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    I didn't think it was too bad if the items were right, hence the golden gavel, not nearly as bad as Muttley's Miserium or the Pompey Pennypinchers Palace. Agree that the Auctioneer wasn't the best and didn't bother to try and extricate a bit more blood from the stone.
     
  23. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    Yeah the first couple overpaid for everything didn't they. Still, the prices their items got was lower than the Moog estimation, which is usually bang on a fair hammer price.
     
  24. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    BBC approved preamble:
    Cheshire 24
    Bargain HuntSeries 61
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0017p5d
    Eric Knowles hosts today’s programme as the reds and blues battle it out for antiques at Cheshire Showground. Experts Charles Hanson and Caroline Hawley steer our teams in the right direction to win some golden gavels when they head to the auction in Stockport. Eric casts his eyes towards the skies when he visits Jodrell Bank observatory to learn about the fascinating history of its gigantic radio telescope.

    The Translation:
    Uncle Eric Knowles is searching the realms of existence for intelligent life, but he's not going to find it at the Antiques and Salvage Market, Cheshire Showground, or in Rickets Central, Stockport for the Auction. He'll have to search for it in the Jodrell Bank observatory helped by Charles Hanson with his Big Bang expression and Caroline Hawley with her Big Bang-ing migraine inducing outfits.

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Uncle Eric Knowles
    [Red Team Expert] Charles Tecnicolour Dreamblazer Hanson
    [Blue Team Expert] Caroline Headache Haute Couture Hawley, horrible blue suit today
    [Auctioneer] Tom Keep It In The Family Blackmore pater is also a gavel basher
    [Auction Location] Maxwell's, Stockport, Rickets Central
    (Miserlin Rating: Unlisted)

    Start.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    The Teams:
    [Red Team] Male and female partners, she likes her dog walking and looks like she could handle herself.
    (Challenge: Find it in the garden)
    [Blue Team] Married male same sex (box ticked) couple, one who is an annoyingly Septic, they want someone to keep them on the straight and narrow (snigger), big Kylie fans (ping), the teeth bleach twins.
    (Challenge: 20th Century glass)

    The Shopping:
    Reds: Enamelled metal sign (75) maybe, Hanson-inspired, Brass fox paperweight (15), Golden gilt lion (20 Challenge)
    Blues: Scandi designer Hello chairs for Kylie's tour (180) a big risk, pair of glass candle holders (8 Challenge) good chance, Whitefriars square glass decanter and stopper (28) maybe again.

    The Distraction:
    Uncle Eric is off to Jodrell Bank and the Lovell Radio telecope. A superb piece of engineering, so deserving of a nice big picture.

    Distraction2.jpg

    The Auction:
    Reds: Enamelled metal sign (nice profit), Brass fox paperweight (nice profit), GG incoming?, Golden gilt lion (a small loss), close but no cigar.
    Hansen's BB are 9 x 1920's silver items (190), big, big, big risk, folly or genius?, 130, big loss, a stereotypical Hanson folly and loses them all their profit.

    Sign.jpeg Folly.jpeg

    Blues: Scandi designer Hello chairs for Kylie's tour (huge 100 loss), pair of glass candle holders (nice profit), Whitefriars square glass decanter and stopper (loss).
    Hawley's BB is silver?, nope, it's the other Whitefriars cylindrical glass decanter (25) maybe but probably not, 15, another loss.

    Chairs.jpeg Decanter.jpeg

    The Aftermath:
    Oh dear it was going so well for Reds, to come within a gnat's chuff of a golden gavel must be galling and then Charles Hanson had a massive rush of blood to the head and spent all the remaining 190 quid on one of his flights-of-fancy, or a group lot of 9 mini pieces of folly. So all Reds profit was wiped out. The Blues on the other hand creamed themselves over some Kylie-inspired tour chairs. Furniture at that price has to be something special and it was a car-crash waiting to happen and it fulfilled the prophecy. Caroline Hawley also delivered one of the laziest bonus buys ever when buying the other glass decanter in the set of two, talk about calling one in.

    RedLoss.jpeg BlueLoss.jpeg

    The Hi-Kick:
    Indoor Covid diagonal special. Not bad from everyone with nearest to the camera Charles Hanson almost making contact with the camera lens. Madness, madness, they call him madness.

    HiKIck.jpg
     
  25. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    BBC approved preamble:
    Lincoln 27
    Bargain HuntSeries 53
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000722t
    Today’s reds and blues are bargain hunting at Lincolnshire Antiques and Home Show with the help of experts Nick Hall and Gary Pe. Presenter Charlie Ross gives us his top tips for bagging a bargain at an antiques fair.

    The Translation:
    Parus major poshus foolus, Charl-eh Ross, twit-twit-the-fool, haphazardly flutters around Lincolnshire Antiques and Home Show, hotly pursued by Plaidy Nick Hall, replete with Beer and Korma, and Gary Take The Pee with his fanciful Bonus Buys. Later on the bird brain give us top tips about how to stuff your head through a milkbottle top.

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Onmnifool Charlie Ross
    [Red Team Expert] Gary PeePee
    [Blue Team Expert] Nick Plaid All Over Hall
    [Auctioneer] Nigel Rees-Moog Kirk, Nanny there's Riff-Raff in my Auction Room
    [Auction Location] Nottingham
    (Miserlin Rating: One Star)

    Start.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    The Teams:
    [Red Team] Mother and daughter, who love a competition
    (Challenge: Communication)
    [Blue Team] Mother and toothy daughter, who wants a GG on her graduation gown. Probab;y more likely to get bird sh1t down it.
    (Challenge: In need of restoration)

    The Shopping:
    Reds: Railway signal (90 Challenge) railwayana, might struggle at that price, 6 Italian chairs (130) maybe, Butter churn (78), he's very sniffy about it. 2 quid left.
    Blues: 1970s Dutch Flora vase (12) looks down his nose but it's still a bargain, Georgian Oak lowboy (150) bits aren't original so it probably will struggle, Swiss novelty wooden candlesticks (59) overspent sniff sniff.

    The Distraction:
    Top tips for Auction Fairs. Turn up early or late. Cash. Look for Damage. Bring tape measure, magnifying glass, book of hallmarks. Don't be afraid to haggle. Don't wash for 2 weeks before hand making sure you sleep in the clothes you're going to wear, the stench will make haggling easier if the dealers want you gone. Same goes with garlic breath. A decent curry the night before should do the trick.

    Distraction.jpeg

    The Auction:
    Reds: Railway signal (biggish loss), 6 Italian chairs (evens stevens), Butter churn (big loss). The Misers have spoken.
    Gary's 2 quid BB is a Victorian glass rolling pin, oooh nanny it's a love token, profit all day long, 25, nice profit, a small flutter of moths, the Steptoes weren't going to pay more than that.

    Churn.jpeg RollingPin.jpeg

    Blues: 1970s Dutch Flora vase (profit), Oak lowboy (biggish loss), Novelty lime wood bear candlesticks (loss). Ebeneezer cackles.
    Plaidy's BB is a brass lamp incorporating a ship's telegraph (60) sporting chance, 35, a loss, Skinflints punch the air.

    Lowboy.jpeg Lamp.jpeg

    The Aftermath:
    Rees-Moog is so starched it's unreal and his Miser's Palace guarantees losses. 2 profits in the whole lot. As usual, a butter churn makes a big loss, why do people still keep buying them? Also the lamp wasn't one of the Plaidster's better items. A 3 figure loss for the pushy Blues, nowhere near the Golden Gavel she had won for herself in her mind.

    RedLoss.jpeg BlueLoss.jpeg

    The Hi-Kick:
    Standard indoor. All decent bar Red daughter, who barely tries. Are her jeans too tight? Shame on her.

    HiKick.jpeg
     
  26. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    BBC approved preamble:
    Nottingham
    Bargain HuntSeries 47-49 (Shortened Versions)
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0015xsn
    The show today comes from Nottingham racecourse. Presenter Natasha Raskin Sharp leads the way. Experts David Harper and Danny Sebastian spearhead the teams.

    The Translation:
    Today we have the short-arsed version of BH, which usually means no distraction. It's Strict Natasha Raskin Sharp, Dayglo Dave, and Danny Dogwhistle, the skip saviour, cavorting around Nottingham racecourse. Hopefully, that doesn't mean Nigel Rees-Moog at Notts PennyPinchers. No, it's from Lichfield with the Dalek. Excellent, should be a good auction.

    Start.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Strict Natasha Raskin Sharp
    [Red Team Expert] David Harper, the Middlesbrough Montalbano
    [Blue Team Expert] Danny Squeakadelic Sebastian
    [Auctioneer] Richard Dalek Winterton
    [Auction Location] Skaro aka Lichfield
    (Miserlin Rating: Unlisted)

    The Teams:
    [Red Team] Best of friends male & female supermarket workers
    [Blue Team] Best mate pilots

    Teams.jpg

    The Shopping:
    Reds: Sh1tty wooden sledge (30) should be ok, Edwardian silver butterfly brooch and box (18) got a chance, Squeak-style wooden chest (60) dalek likes it, should be ok
    Blues: 1919 fire extinguisher (9) OK, 1960s radio in a case (18) another OK, military field glasses (13), good chance too.

    The Distraction:
    Short version so none.

    The Auction:
    Reds: Sh1tty wooden sledge (good profit), silver butterfly brooch and box (good profit), Squeak-style wooden box (Squeaky dud).
    Helium's BB are some rusty old lazy tongs, pure tat (20) might be ok, 15, another dud from the Squeak. God he's sh1te.

    Chest.jpeg Tongs.jpeg

    Blues: 1919 fire extinguisher (nice profit) , 1960s radio in a case (nice profit) , military field glasses (profit). Golden gavel, very well done.
    Dayglo's BB is a Anemometer in a mahogany box (40), nice item, 45, nudges a profit. Good work.

    Blues.jpg

    The Aftermath:
    A good auction well marshalled by the Dalek. Very, very impressive Golden gavel from a very knowledgable Blue team who didn't really need their expert.
    Poor old Reds, steered into that box by Squeak-monster. Dreadful expert. LOL.

    RedWin.jpeg BlueWin.jpeg

    The Hi-Kick:
    Standard indoor. Strict Natasha, outstanding kick, everyone else is up to snuff.

    HiKick.jpg
     
  27. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    BBC approved preamble:
    Shrewsbury 12
    Bargain HuntSeries 61
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0017x0d
    Christina Trevanion heads to Shrewsbury in Shropshire, where experts Philip Serrell and Izzie Balmer guide the red and blue teams as they go in search of some bargains to sell at auction in Lichfield. Christina takes a ride on the Bridgnorth Cliff Railway, one of England’s oldest and steepest funicular railways.

    The Translation:
    Bomb de sexe Christina Trevanion slinks round Shrewsbury in Shropshire trailed by handmaidens Ken Shabby Serrell, behemoth of the bins, and Izzie Lizzie Dripping, the well-spoken witch, as they sift through the discarded ephemera to pass on to Skaro's own, Richard Dalek Winterton, barking out bids like a demented dictator. The Dalek at Auction, good for profits, internet only, bad for profits, so let's wait and see. Christina also has a wild ride followed by a journey on the Bridgnorth Cliff Railway, one of England’s oldest and steepest funicular railways, ropey in more ways than one.

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Corker Christina Trevanion
    [Red Team Expert] Philip Muttley Serrell avec scarf de tat et pull-over de moth
    [Blue Team Expert] Izzie Lizzie Barmy Balmer
    [Auctioneer] Richard Winterton, the Davros of the Auction World
    [Auction Location] Skaro, Lichfield
    (Miserlin Rating: Unlisted)

    Start.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    The Teams:
    [Red Team] Married Brit Asian couple (box ticked)
    (Challenge: Victorian home)
    [Blue Team] Married couple, he interviewed her and now they are married, yes, we can all imagine what happened there.
    (Challenge: Edwardian home)

    The Shopping:
    Reds: Steel modern garden sculpture (110) dalek likes but it might struggle, elephant silver-plated ring holder (4) bargain, Victorian brass trivet (8 Challenge) bargain.
    Blues: Mappim and Web boxed silver spoon set (80 Challenge) DQd because they are 1912 (not Edwardian), should've checked the hallmarks Izzy, Caithness glass perfume atomiser (8) should be OK, Sorrento wooden music box table (20) might struggle.

    The Distraction:
    It's full on action at Bridgnorth Cliff Railway. Christina is taken right up the hill. At the climax of the journey, she takes full command, driving forward until it all ends in a bump. Meanwhile, the carriage ascends the cliff.

    Distraction.jpg

    The Auction:
    Reds: Steel modern garden sculpture (profit), elephant silver-plated ring holder (good profit) GG?, Victorian brass trivet (1 quid loss), no Golden Gavel so near yet so far.
    Scruffy's BB is a skipware Terra-cotta urn (65), 50-70 dalek estimate, 80, profit, Serrell delivers for once.

    Elephant.jpeg Urn.jpeg

    Blues: Mappin and Web boxed silver spoon set (Loss -80 DQd), Caithness glass perfume atomiser (nice profit), Sorrento music box table (nice profit).
    Dizzy Balmy's BB is an Edwardian silver shamrock brooch (38), Dalek estimates 25-35 but it could do more, 150, huge profit, Dizzy redeems herself.

    SpoonSet.jpeg Brooch.jpeg

    The Aftermath:
    Nice profit for the Reds and really unlucky not to snap up that Golden Gavel, just missing out by a pound.
    Shabby experting from Dizzy Lizzy, surely if you're buying to a strict time period you need to check the hallmarks. However, she saves the day with an excellent BB. Both get profits but Blues win despite a large DQ (-80 squids).

    RedWin.jpeg BlueWIn.jpeg

    The Hi-Kick:
    Indoor Covid diagonal special. Mixed execution. Scruffy is obviously feeling smug so hardly gets his foot of the ground, Red girl has gone for some weird 6 inch lift stance, get your leg up missus, and the others make par.

    HiKick.jpg
     
    wfcmoog likes this.
  28. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    BBC approved preamble:
    Westpoint 12
    Bargain HuntSeries 53
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0005325
    Join Natasha Raskin Sharp for today’s right royal Bargain Hunt from Exeter’s Westpoint Arena. The reds and blues have the help of experts Phil Serrell and Catherine Southon to spend the princely sum of £300 in one hour on three items to take to auction. Meanwhile, Natasha finds out why royal items with a personal royal connection are worth a king’s ransom.

    The Translation:
    Strict Natasha Raskin Sharp is doing a royal (groan) episode from Exeter’s Westpoint Arena. What's royal about this place, lordy knows, but it has had Darts and Disney on Ice there in the past. Royal Disney on Ice with darts would be worth watching. Game on your Majesty, you require 170, the very best of order. Royal lackeys Scruffy Serrell and hyperposh, uberdull Catherine Southon, at least she's not the Auctioneer, are the 'helps'. Two poor experts, any profits will be at a premium.

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Strict Natasha Raskin Sharp
    [Red Team Expert] Philip Muttley Serrell avec scarf de tat et pull-over de moth
    [Blue Team Expert] extremely dull posh Catherine Southon, the Liz Truss of the Auction world
    [Auctioneer] David Sumner, brother of Barney out of New Order
    [Auction Location] Ottery St Mary, East Devon
    (Miserlin Rating: Unlisted)

    Start.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    The Teams:
    [Red Team] Married mixed race (Box ticked) couple, he makes bad puns, could be annoying
    (Challenge: Enamelled)
    [Blue Team] Male friends, one who is a quality officer for a brewery, nice job.
    (Challenge: Comes as a pair)

    The Shopping:
    Reds: RAC enamelled spinning mascot/badge (55 Challenge) struggle, 1960s Silver Omega watch (150) a bargain evidently, Pair of Pelham marionettes (30) might be OK.
    Blues: Silver-plated kangaroo napkin ring (30 Challenge) possible, Early 20th Century Silver vesta and sovereign case (145) might struggle, Wooden bird scarer rattler (65 + 20) broken by Catherine hence the extra 20 LOL, looks like a dud.

    The Distraction:
    It's excruciating Royal event footage with some nostalgic old dears. However, there is also a review of Royal event tat. Where are the sh1tty plates? There's also a trip to some Royal Memorabilia museum in Exeter. Cricket bats and balls out.

    Distraction.jpg

    The Auction:
    Reds: RAC enamelled spinning mascot badge (loss), 1960s Silver Omega watch (big profit), Pair of Pelham marionettes (squeak's a profit)
    Scruffy's BB is a piece of tat?, yup pieces of tat, pair of knackered horsey toys (45), REJECTED, 30-50, sounds about right, (evens stevens). Scruffy Dud.

    Watch.jpeg Horsey.jpeg

    Blues: Silver-plated kangaroo napkin ring (loss), Early 20th Century Silver vesta and sovereign case (big loss), Wooden bird scarer rattler (big loss) broken by Catherine, .
    Posho's BB is a boot-shaped vesta case (30) they amusingly say should we gamble our 98 pound loss, LOL, 15-25, maybe, 30, evens stevens.

    Vesta.jpeg BootVesta.jpeg

    The Aftermath:
    Crap auctioneer who is far too quick. Muttley didn't disappoint with items rescued from the skip. They must see him coming. Reds got lucky with a huge discount on a classic watch, but the same dealer made money on the vesta case he sold to the Blues LOL. Well, what to say about Posh Catherine. No profits and she breaks one of the items by rotating it the wrong way. She is dreadful.

    RedHo.jpeg BluesHa2.jpeg

    The Hi-Kick:
    Standard indoor kick complete with flags. Good grief. This results in sub-par kicking. Stop arsing around with the flags and concentrate on the kick.

    HiKick.jpg
     
  29. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    BBC approved preamble:
    Jubilee Special
    Bargain HuntSeries 62
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0017xxd
    Charlie Ross presides over a bargain hunt with a regal twist. Experts Nick Hall and Stephanie Connell assist two teams of royal enthusiasts as they do battle at the Royal Cheshire County Showground. Charlie is given exclusive access to the royal carriages at the National Railway Museum in York.

    The Translation:
    Huge massive SIGH. It's a Jubilee bandwagon jumping on special presented by loyal subject, the posh old twit, Charl-eh Ross, so got knows what D-Ross is going to be served up. On the bright-side, we have 2 decent experts, Steph Connell the Cockermouth Cumbrian, and the good old plaid Keir Starmer, Nick Hall. However, it's 2 teams of royal enthusiasts, shoot them NOW, sifting through the tat at the Royal Cheshire County Showground. Looks like the Auction is in Sheffield with professional Yorkshireman Rob Lee. Not an ideal setting for large profits.

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Royal onmifool Charlie Ross
    [Red Team Expert] Nick Plaid All Over Hall
    [Blue Team Expert] Stephanie Connell, the Cockermouth Cumbrian, the Auction-world state-educated trailblazer, poster girl for The 93%
    [Auctioneer] Rob Lee, "Yorkshire, Yorkshire, Yorkshire!!!!"
    [Auction Location] Sheffield
    (Miserlin Rating: Approved)

    Start.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    The Teams:
    [Red Team] Married couple, he's a retired doctor
    (Challenge: Royal connection)
    [Blue Team] Ey-by-gum royal sycophant friends
    (Challenge: Royal connection)

    The Shopping:
    Reds: cast-iron sundial (45) should be ok, Queen Victoria commemorative silver spoon (10 Challenge) OK, 2 Victorian silver cups (80) stingy, like the audience, estimate.
    Blues: Pair of vintage deckchairs (25) ok, they gingerly sit in them, 1953 royal mug (1 note Challenge) surely a profit, 2 silver spoons (75) might struggle
    Argh, the shopping is interrupted for the experts to show off some right royal tat.

    The Distraction:
    Charl-eh finds the royal carriages at the National Railway Museum in York most agreeable, particularly after a large lunch. He finds the royal sh1tter. After sitting down, his eyes glaze over and he's soon in the posh land of nod, drooling copiously down his old school tie. Did he!!!!!!! Did she!!!!!! There's air conditioning on them carriages too, is your head getting too hot under that crown Maaammm.

    Distraction.jpg

    The Auction:
    Reds: cast-iron sundial (profit), Queen Victoria commemorative silver spoon (profit), a GG in the Miserium? 2 Victorian silver cups (big profit). Big fat golden gavel.
    Plaidy's BB is are 6 pieces of original Victorian crockery (65), 15-30 Yorkshire doesn't rate it, 28, biggish loss, whoops.

    Reds.jpg

    Blues: Pair of vintage deckchairs (profit), 1953 royal mug (profit), another Yorks GG?, 2 silver spoons (small loss), close but no cigar.
    Steph's BB is a turn-of-the-century embroidered panel (40), they REJECT, Yorshire things it's plain, 10-20, (loss).

    Deckchairs.jpeg Embroidery.jpeg

    The Aftermath:
    Unusually for 2 decent experts, the BBs made losses. Mind you it was a Yorkshire-based Misers Mausoleum so not that surprising but a Yorkshire-based Golden Gavel is not to be sniffed at. Two teams, both with overall profits at a Yorkshire auction! Unprecedented!

    RedWin.jpeg BlueWin.jpeg

    The Hi-Kick:
    Standard indoor kick. Weird camera angle, a bit too high, a bit too rushed and uncoordinated, a bit like the show.

    HiKick.jpg
     
  30. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    BBC approved preamble:
    Eccleston 21
    Bargain HuntSeries 54
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000966h
    The Lancashire town of Eccleston hosts the reds and blues today. Eric Knowles is at the helm with experts Caroline Hawley and Roo Irvine helping the teams scour the antiques centre hoping to make a profit in the saleroom.

    The Translation:
    Uncle Eric Knowles is back to the homestead directing the daily rummage round a mill converted into an antiques centre. Helping populate the almost empty Jumble sale in waiting are the delightful Roo Irvine and headache-in-waiting Caroline Tartan Terrible Hawley.

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Uncle Eric Knowles, a safe pair of hands
    [Red Team Expert] Delightful Roo Irvine
    [Blue Team Expert] Pantomime dame Caroline Hawley
    [Auctioneer] Tom That's m'boy Blackmore, family footstep follower
    [Auction Location] Maxwell's, Stockport, Rickets Central
    (Miserlin Rating: Unlisted)

    Start.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    The Teams:
    [Red Team] Northern female best friends and neighbours, the net curtains are a-twitchin'
    (Challenge: Glass)
    [Blue Team] Northern father and son, youngest one of six, and his other hobbies are ....
    (Challenge: Something you can wear)

    The Shopping:
    Reds: Art Nouveau-style necklace (22), nine carat gold ring with citrine and diamonds (75), but they're not diamonds which will affect the value, set of 6 lead crystal glasses (15) bargain.
    Blues: Arts and Crafts-style ring (17) should be fine, 1970s Hornsea Midas, or should that be Misers, dinner service (38) maybe, 5 French apothecary jars (150), turns out they're not originals, ouch, but some interest in the view.

    The Distraction:
    Unusually, Uncle Eric has either declined or been elbowed out of the way for the Distraction. Instead, oriental bride, Nora Finds, she's been on before, she loves her vintage dresses long time, sees some mutton dressed as lamb flounce about in old frocks in a Preston museum. What a load of Horrocks!!

    Distraction.jpg

    The Auction:
    Reds: Art Nouveau-style necklace (profit), nine carat gold ring with citrine and diamonds (loss), set of 6 lead crystal glasses (profit).
    Roo's BB is a set of 6 Art Deco glass wall shades (22), 15-25, should be fine, 35, nice profit. Well done you, Roo.

    Pendant.jpeg Shades.jpeg

    Blues: Arts and Crafts-style ring (squeak's a profit) should be fine, 1970s Hornsea Midas dinner service (nice profit), French apothecary jars (disastrous loss).
    Headache's BB, she's wearing a puke-green outfit from the Horror collection for the auction, is a silver and glass decanter (40), she thinks it's a steal, 25-35, sells for 30, the auction thinks it's a dud. Another Hawley howler.

    Jars.jpeg Decanter.jpeg

    The Aftermath:
    Reds make a small profit, Blues make a near 3 figure loss. Roo cements here reputation of being a good expert where headache Hawley cements her reputation at the other end of the scale. Blues took ages to get going and probably rushed their purchases along with the Hawley Handicap.

    RedWin.jpeg BlueLoss.jpeg

    The Hi-Kick:
    Standard indoor. Special mention to one of the Red ladies who gets a massive head high kick, but her mate struggles to get it off the ground. Blue Dad not much better but he was hobbling around with a walking stick, probably the effect of having 6 kids, so he's excused.

    HiKick.jpg
     
  31. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    BBC approved preamble:
    Topsham
    Bargain HuntSeries 47-49 (Shortened Versions)
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0007m7l
    Today the show is in ship shape and comes to you from Topsham in Devon. Natasha Raskin Sharp is in charge, with experts Danny Sebastian and Gary Pe helping the teams.

    The Translation:
    It's a Tesco's value, no frills, BH with all the fat trimmed off. Strict Natasha Raskin Sharp is quayside in Topsham in Devon. Helping her navigate through the choppy waters of the Topsham's Quay Antique Centre are Danny Boxwain's Whistle Sebastian and Gary Man Overboard Peeeee the Bonus Buyus Head Scratchium.

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Strict Natasha Raskin Sharp
    [Red Team Expert] Gary Peeeeeeee
    [Blue Team Expert] Danny Hypersqueak Sebastian
    [Auctioneer] David Sumner, brother of Barney out of New Order
    [Auction Location] True Faith Auction Rooms, Ottery St Mary, East Devon
    (Miserlin Rating: Unlisted)

    Start.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    The Teams:
    [Red Team] Retired married couple who buggered off to France
    [Blue Team] Retired married couple who met during school choral sessions

    Teams.jpg

    The Shopping:
    Reds: 1930s silver powder compact (40) probably overspent, ice bucket (9) cheap looking but at a cheap price, Arts and Crafts mirror (20) should be fine.
    Blues: Scary carved hare ornament (45) something out of the Wicker Man, wooden bird cage (65) for your wooden birds, 1980s Sheffield silver-handled magnifying glass (22), nice object.

    The Distraction:
    None, as it's a short @rse variant.

    The Auction:
    Reds: 1930s silver powder compact (small loss), ice bucket (1 note profit), Arts and Crafts mirror (nice profit).
    Gary's BB is an 1850s Tonquin patterned meat platter (29) another bargain, 45, very nice profit. Well done Gary, your BBs are certainly improving.

    Mirror.jpeg Plate.jpeg

    Blues: Scary carved hare ornament (decent profit), wooden bird cage (largish loss), 1980s Sheffield silver-handled magnifying glass (evens stevens)
    Squeak's BB is skip-bound tat?, nope it's a clover-shaped brass trivet for 4 notes, shock, swoon, profit all day long, 70 S0DS, huge profit, for once the Helium-filled vessel flies high.

    Rabbit.jpeg Trivet.jpeg

    The Aftermath:
    Well, well, well, as even a broken clock is right twice a day, the Squeak gets a BB on the money for once. Mind, it was only 4 quid, so not a big gamble, it made a huge profit. Once again the Auctioneer Sumner is far too rushed, not squeezing out additional profit, and underestimating everything. Profit for both teams with the Reds not spending much. You can see why they introduced the Challenges.

    RedWin.jpeg BlueWin.jpeg

    The Hi-Kick:
    Standard outdoor kick. Strict Natasha jumps the gun as per usual puts off the old fella in Blue. Unfortunately, Squeaky gives us a full crotch view which will put you off your lunch.

    HiKick.jpg
     
  32. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    BBC approved preamble:
    London
    Bargain HuntSeries 47-49 (50-Minute Versions)
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000r77s
    Today’s Bargain Hunt comes from London’s vibrant Portobello Road in Notting Hill. The reds and blues scour the market with experts Catherine Southon and Danny Sebastian in the hope of finding three items that might make a profit at auction. Anita Manning is today’s presenter, but can the people of Portobello Road help her identify a mystery item?

    The Translation:
    After watching Quatermass and the Pit, McWitch, dressed in her finest Sylvester McCoy outfit, decides to hop on her broomstick and fly down to Notting Hill for some ghoulish fun. Unfortunately, it's chock full of the Curtis/Gove/Cameron set which gave us such a truly representative view of the upper-middle classes slumming it in the eponymous documentary. Truly horrifying. Helping her scare off the populance down Portobello Road are the very dull and posh Catherine Southon and Danny Falsetto Sebastian, King of the Bins of London. Oh, yeah, there's also the Carnival too.

    Oh, by the, way it's a 50 minute double header which is just far too rushed. Ding thump next.

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Anita McWitch Manning
    [Red Team Expert] Hyperdull uber-posh Catherine Southon, the Liz Truss of the Auction world
    [Blue Team Expert] Danny Hypersqueak Sebastian
    [Auctioneer] Mark Picard Longson, make it so
    [Auction Location] London Auctions, Chiswick
    (Miserlin Rating: Unlisted)

    Start.jpg

    The Teams 1:
    [Red Team] Male friends, one is a Spurs supporting supermarket employee
    [Blue Team] Female friends since school, ok yar, you know we like you know do some coding yeah. Yeah right.

    Teams1.jpg

    The Shopping 1:
    Reds: Beswick Mr Peggotty tea pot (15) good chance, Walrus pottery decanter (20) also a chance, Brass car horn (13) not overspent. All 3 things that dull Catherine didn't like.
    Blues: Printer's case of hardwood letters (85) overspent, Houghton-Butcher camera and case (35) got a chance, Vintage leather travel case (60) might struggle.

    The Auction 1:
    Reds: Beswick Mr Peggotty tea pot (profit), Walrus pottery decanter (loss), Brass car horn (profit).
    Dully's BB is a silver-plated soup tureen, cauldron shaped, McWitch heartily approves (85), 30-50, probably overspent, LOL, REJECTED, 55, a dud for dully, LOL.
    Blues: Printer's block of hardwood letters (big loss), Houghton-Butcher camera (loss), Vintage leather travel case (biggish loss)
    Squeak's BB is a sad donkey bronze ink well set, not quite his usual tat (35), 60-90, seems he may have picked a bragain for once, 30, nope, a squeaky dud. A Grand Slam of losses. Very impressive.

    Part1.jpg

    The Aftermath 1:
    Catherine Southon is dreadful. Poo-pooing al the Reds items, they almost all made a profit, and then buying dull, clunking, loss maker, in a Auction room potentially dripping in money. Meanwhile, it's a squeaky Grand Slam aha-ha-ha LOL.

    Result1.jpg

    The Hi-Kick 1:
    Not shown in this real unsatisfactory mish-mash edit.

    The Distraction:
    A mystery item that looks like something to stir her cauldron with, or maybe it's a pointing stick to strike dead any non-pagans. I bet it's a vintage surveyor's stick. Ah the spear bit turns into scissors. You didn't show us that before, did you. It's a botanist's stick. Still handy for McWitch to cut things for adding to her potion making.

    Distraction.jpg

    The Teams 2:
    [Red Team] Perfect partners Ken and Barbie, whose Daddy collects Antiques
    [Blue Team] Perfect partners Little and Large.

    Teams2.jpg

    The Shopping 2:
    Reds: Blue scent bottle (150) well overspent, silver match striker (18) should make a profit, rare Dublin silver port decanter label (30) big bargain,
    Blues: Wedgewood 1972 Olympic commemorative plate (8) surely a profit, Vintage photographic slides (70) a chance, Royal Artillery Standish (78) might struggle.

    The Auction 2:
    Reds: Blue scent bottle (massive profit), silver match striker (profit) surely a GG now, rare Dublin silver port decanter label (profit), Golden Gavel!!!
    Dully's BB 1960s Gary Mdina glass vase (15), 40-60, should make money, 25, tenner profit. Good find Dully.

    Reds2.jpg

    Blues: Wedgewood 1972 Olympic commemorative plate (small profit), Vintage photographic slides (big loss), Royal Artillery Standish (loss)
    Squeak's BB is another bronze incense burner (74), seems pricey, it might make it, 60, another Squeak Dud. Well done, keep it up. LOL.

    Blue2.jpg

    The Aftermath 2:
    Well, Reds bought really well, that scent bottle and Dublin silver were real finds. Blue's items were real punts which they overpaid for. Good old Helium Boy. Another loss. How does he do it.

    Result2.jpg

    The Hi-Kick 2:
    Stand indoor kick. McWitch barely tries, you would think she would levitate from the ground. Really feeble effort with only Squeak and Blue bloke actually trying.

    HiKick.jpg
     
  33. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    BBC approved preamble:
    Harrogate 20
    Bargain HuntSeries 61
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m00183m5
    Natasha Raskin Sharp and experts Richard Madley and Roo Irvine guide the teams around the Ripley Antiques Fair in North Yorkshire. Natasha also learns about one of the greenest forms of public transport, which is a lot older than you might think.

    The Translation:
    Strict Natasha Raskin Sharp trollies around Ripley Antiques Fair in North Yorkshire with her conductors Richard Madders Madley not Madeley and the always delightful Roo Irvine. In Yorkshire, there's always the danger of Arch Auction saboteur Caroline Hawley complete with her new mal-de-mer collection.

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Strict Natasha Raskin Sharp
    [Red Team Expert] Sportsmad Richard Madley not Madeley
    [Blue Team Expert] Delightful Roo Irvine
    [Auctioneer] Caroline Headache Hawley pooouuunnnnddddssss thump
    [Auction Location] Beverley, East Yorks
    (Miserlin Rating: Approved)

    Start.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    The Teams:
    [Red Team] Mother and Son Rubik's cube enthusiasts
    (Challenge: Office or study)
    [Blue Team] Retired female friends, they are Septics/Canucks
    (Challenge: Kitchen)

    The Shopping:
    Reds: Novelty brass paperclip (Challenge 30) maybe not, 1950s picnic hampert (22) maybe, 19th Century needle sampler (120) overpaid.
    Blues: German map of North America (75) overpaid, Set of pewter tankards and plate (25 Challenge) should be OK, Stone garden gnome (29) could be alright.

    The Distraction:
    Trolley buses and the Trolley bus museum at Sandtoft. What else is there to say, apart from it is very green mode of transport and the chance of them re-appearing in major towns and cities is as likely as Boris Johnson telling the truth.

    Distraction.jpg

    The Auction:
    Reds: Novelty brass paperclip (profit), 1950s picnic hamper (small loss), 19th Century needle sampler (massive loss)
    Madders BB is a bull model (34), 20-30 poooouuuunnndddssss, 45 poooouuuunnndddssss thump, 11 nicker profit. Well done D1ckko.

    NeedleSampler.jpeg Bull.jpeg

    Blues: German map of North America (biggish loss), Set of pewter tankards and plate (loss), Stone garden gnome (profit), a Gnominal profit.
    Roo's BB is an Italian green glass carboy (38), 40-60, should be OK, 55 poooouuuunnndddssss thump. Well done Roo.

    Map.jpeg Carboy.jpeg

    The Aftermath:
    Both teams make losses. Both experts made profits. Headache Hawley is a truly awful Auctioneeeeeeeeeeeerrrr thump.

    RedLoss.jpeg BlueLoss.jpeg

    The Hi-Kick:
    Outside diagonal Covid kick. Decent effort an coordination all round with Strict Natasha close to a head shot.

    HiKick.jpg
     
  34. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    BBC approved preamble:
    Epsom/Dorking 25
    Bargain HuntSeries 51 Episode 19 of 34
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m00038q9
    Charlie Ross looks after proceedings at Epsom racecourse today, where the reds and blues go head to head to make as much profit as possible. Danny Sebastian and David Harper look after our bargain hunters, who have to spend £300 on three items within an hour in the hope that they’ll make loads of money at the auction in Maidenhead.

    The Translation:
    Posh t1t Charl-eh Ross once again shambles about Epsom racecourse with fellow scavengers Danny Hypersqueak Sebastian and Dayglo David Harper, dressed like Inspector Clouseau, before the bin shindig in Maidenhead.

    The Staff:
    [Gaffer] Omnifool Charl-eh Ross
    [Red Team Expert] Danny The Squeak Sebastian (Squeak Rating Very High)
    [Blue Team Expert] Dayglo David Harper, the Teeside Tat Trouserer
    [Auctioneer] Aubrey The Watchman Dawson
    [Auction Location] Dawson Auctioneers, Maidenhead
    Miserlin Rating: Unlisted)

    Start.jpeg Auction.jpeg

    The Teams:
    [Red Team] Husband and wife Landun cabbies, they spend 2 hours going round the outside of the racecourse before asking for 600 quid. They enjoy wasting time while the meter spins round no doubt.
    (Challenge: Treen)
    [Blue Team] Best friend male pilots, it's a bit like riding a bike, except there's a longer way to fall.
    (Challenge: 1950s)

    The Shopping:
    Reds: Vintage AA car badge (10) maybe, Victorian Tunbridge Ware wooden box (90 Challenge) oh dear overspend, Art Deco wall light (88) could struggle.
    Blues: Art Deco style ruby glass (10 Challenge) should be OK, Silver hand mirror (40) OK, Edwardian dress set (120) has a chance.

    The Distraction:
    Croatian distaffs used for wool winding. Very much a token effort for The Distraction. Obviously, struggling to fill the time. Next.

    Distraction.jpg

    The Auction:
    Reds: Vintage AA car badge (profit), Victorian Tunbridge Ware wooden box (evens stevens), Art Deco wall light (biggish loss) Squeak inspired, he doesn't disappoint.
    Squeak's BB is a wooden Antiques sign, a bit tidier than his usual skipware (35), 40-60 he's hopeful, 70, nice profit Squeak.

    Light.jpeg Sign.jpeg

    Blues: Art Deco style ruby glass (nice profit), Silver hand mirror (nice profit) GG incoming, Edwardian dress set (profit) yup Golden Gavel. Well done Dayglo, good steering.
    Dayglo's BB is a 1908 Russian silver spoon, very good for adding Polonium into tea (70), 80-120 he likes it, 80, a tenner made. Nicely done Dayglo. Vladimir will be round later.

    DressSet.jpeg Spoon.jpeg

    The Aftermath:
    Both teams make a profit, Blues score a Golden Gavel with some good help from Dayglo who really shines today.
    Squeak almost retrieves the situation for Reds with his sign but his tat lamp was too big a loss.

    RedWin.jpeg BlueWIn.jpeg

    The Hi-Kick:
    Standard indoor leg lift. The experts and Charlie really give it some. The Squeak looks like the voodoo bad guy out of Live and Let Die.

    HiKIck.jpg
     
    wfcmoog and domthehornet like this.
  35. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    Enjoyed today's episode, despite the enthusiasm vampire at the auction podium.

    Great buys by Saltimbocco of The Tees David (or whatever you call him) and the Blue team
     
    reg_varney likes this.

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