So it wasn't, as some of us dared to hope/delude ourselves, partly at least that he has a weird bull-shaped body, he really was just fat as ****. Absolutely mental. Is there any other club who has a more comedy relationship with obese players? It's 2021/22, and having finally brought the neverending saga of the beer-bellied Birminghamite to a close, we decide to replace him with not one but two players too fat to physically function on a football pitch.
How did we let him pass the medical, they check body fat etc don't they? The club would have known it would take him a while to shift the timber and by the time he signed the season had started. It's just a complete circus behind the scenes isn't it.
We always have to make this caveat every time we speak about anything associated with the club - they see/know/track more than we do, they're professionals/a Premier League club, etc etc - but it's just really, really hard to see how there is anything than the most laughably incompetent circus going on pretty much all time behind the scenes at London Colney. You hear one thing that makes your lower lip drop in disbelief slightly about once a day, and then instead of having it proven incorrect, it's generally added to by another the next. The parallels between us and Boris Johnson's premiership are too stark to ignore, really.
And to fork over 2m for the privilege and then also committed to a further 7m for him. We would have to render him down for soap to recoup any of that.
Also good to note we got him very nearly ten kilos closer to the shape of a professional footballer as a personal favour for Fenerbahce and paid a minimum of £2 million pounds for the privilege. That's where all the copious loan fees are getting sucked into. I imagine he'll soon be greeted back with a poisonous interview in which he slags us off, too, so we can look forward to that emerging in the next few days or so.
Still well overweight when he left us. How does this happen to a guy who runs around every day of the week and basically gets given specific food to eat?
I am 1.79 metres tall and start to worry if I can’t meet the super middleweight 72.5 kg limit. But we are all different and, he just has big bones and a bit of problem with his glands.
It's a pretty good basic measure of fatness outside of the extremes either side, though - we're purely considering if his height, weight and age stack up, essentially, and within the average range that's what BMI does. He's not a rugby player or a competitive weightlifter, so he falls pretty squarely in that range, and we can be pretty sure the vast majority of those extra kilos are not misleading muscle - especially since he proceeded to lose 10 of them in three or four months here.
The S*n this morning saying we have to pay £5.6m for him if we stay up. Putting the improbability of survival to one side for a moment - if it somehow happens, there can be no debate that this would be the worst deal Gino has ever done.
Can't see what we had to gain from such a deal structure. It basically mitigates virtually no risk. Might as well have just gone out and forked over 7m for him outright, or burned a suitcase full of cash as an alternative.
Gino apparently doesn’t want to loan players like Henderson because he doesn’t want to develop other clubs players. He is however happy to loan players as long as he has an option to buy, even if that option to buy is the most ludicrous and illogical deal he’s ever agreed to. Absolutely mental logic.
I guess it means we don’t have to pay full fee for the sack of **** if we are lucky enough to be relegated. It’s a way to placate the fans. On the downside we are relegated and lose all our stars for peanuts to newly promoted Luton. On the plus side, we don’t have to sign fatty.
Scenes when Pozzo decides to activate the clause in any case following relegation and uses the entire budget.
“Tufan, fresh from a 6 month spell on a Turkish beach has return to the club invigorated and determined to rejuvenate his career. He’ll be like a new signing, and add depth to a midfield that is already well stocked following the reintegration of Gosling, and ink drying on Cleverley’s 3 year contract extension. Sema can also deputize in the middle, as we saw during his loan spell at Udinese 3 years ago. Sabri Lamouchi has also experimented with Morris in the holding midfield role this summer, and he might be called upon in emergencies.”
Amazing how little research and scouting teams seem to do on players. (with us being one of the worst offenders of course)
Tbf BMI is a load of *****. I had a medical done a few years ago and was told by the doctor that I was well overweight. But, I box and have a low body fat percentage.
