This Saturday, Watford play their 11th game of the season, against Chelsea. Watford remain winless so far, rooted to the bottom of the Premier League, have mustered a miserable 5 goals in 10 games so far, whilst conceding a generous 21 - some of which we helpfully tucked away ourselves, to help our opponents even further. Under the stewardship of Frank Lampard (JR), Chelsea have started the season well, sitting in 4th place at present. The 23 goals they have already scored look a tall order for us to match over the whole of the rest of the season. Their 16 goals against, is the average of two games vs Man City for us. Let's be clear, this is as David vs Goliath as it gets, except this time, Goliath has a sophisticated helmet protecting his vulnerable cranium and David has brought a wet musket with no balls instead of a slingshot. For the benefit of any fans nurturing a nascent hope that, despite everything that they've witnessed, maybe, just maybe, we'll upset all the odds and score a win on Saturday - we won't. We just won't. The very, very best we can hope for is a narrow, non-humiliating defeat. If you are wasting your time attending this match, and we keep it to a 2 or 3 goal margin, celebrate like we just won the World Cup, because that is the zenith of our potential achievements in this game. For me, I've given my season tickets for the game back to the club - good luck with their "keep it full" campaign. Anyone stupid enough to attend this for any reason other than the desire to see a healthy Chelsea win, should be carefully watched, as a danger to themselves and others. I'm going to watch Mary Poppins, instead, at the Prince Edward Theatre in London. The Cast: Produced by Cameron Mackintosh: Prince Edward Theatre, external: Internal: Afterwards, I might be going for a Nandos: the Meal Platter: Have fun everybody and COYH! And enjooooooooy the game! I won't be even following on my phone.
Thanks. Feel a whole lot more upbeat now. Those chips look great. Remember, its a play of two halves.
One of our players from my masters team over here in Canada is attending this match. Told him to visit spoons before the match to get tanked up and warm his lungs up. So Lampards u23’s better not **** up as this guy’s traveling thousands of miles to be entertained. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Wonder if we will manage a shot on target in this one and if so, which "terrified yellow shirted player with no composure on realising the enormity of the situation", it will fall to ?
Great match report.....if it was based upon how you are feeling (about football). Better you are not there. Rest assured all the home support in the stadium tomorrow already know that likely outcome too. Enjoy your Nandos.
Thing is, everyone at the Prince Edward Theatre will be a winner. Nobody at Vicarage Road will. Even the Chelsea fans will be losers for watching such a debacle. Sent from my SM-N950F using Tapatalk
I'm going, I won't get home until midnight either. I wish I was not going. I know I have freedom of choice but I have already bought train tickets and match tickets. Sad times, such sad times. The guy who is coming to the match with me has currently seen the following games...... Southampton 1 -0 Watford (FA Cup game) Watford 0 - 0 Sheff Utd Watford 0 - 0 Bournemouth ..he thinks it is all a sick joke. 3- 0 to the mighty Horns.
I can’t be bothered to turn up for this one. We will get everybody behind the ball, and as soon as the first goal goes in, it will be game over
Don’t you find Nandos chicken a bit small, skinny and miserly? You can get a proper size chicken for less than a fiver, a bag of good quality rustic oven chips and a bottle of Nando’s, cook it all at home, and feel proper full for the evening.
It's more the inconsistency. Sometimes a plump, full bird and then a scraggly Capon. Even on the same platter sometimes. I can't say that I enjoy the nandos experience, but the food is satisfying. I'm losing weight right now though, so I'll probably just had breast quarter, some chicken livers and a greek salad. Sent from my SM-N950F using Tapatalk
When I tell people I’ve never been to Nando’s they react in the same way as when I tell people I’ve never seen a Star Wars film.
Frank Lampard and The Chelseas will provide a good test of our new 'defensive solidity'. Will the home fans be celebrating another glorious nil-nil after 90 minutes? Unlikely I'd say. Emphatic away win. Flores Out!!
Great write up moog. Love the avoidance of any actual match stats because if the team didn't give a toss why should you? I really hope you enjoy Mary Poppins and yonr Nandos after. Stay away from the black sauce, its evil. I am going Saturday... must have a glutten for punishment. We might pull a surprise, but who am I kidding? Draw best possible hope. Watford Blunts 0 Lampard's Kids 3
As I've turned veggie, I can highly recommend the mushroom & halloumi burger - it's a bit messy but damn it's good. Also the refills are fantastic - I take a couple of empty 330ml bottles and fill - then buy 2 more in the 2 for £2 deal at McColls - so I get 4 for £2. As for the choice of musical, Mary Whatshername doesn't appeal, I would have gone for Play That Goes Wrong...simply because I find musical theatre boring. Oh yeah, there's a game on...erm...umm...meh.
I can sense it now... The home game highlight of the season will be that 2-2 draw we had against Arsenal whilst our away game highlight of the season will be that 1-1 draw against Spurs. We’ve achieved as good as it can get so let’s all just be happy and rejoice knowing that we’ve achieved those two truly incredible results in only 10 matches!
I’m not a huge fan of chicken, so Nando’s seems a bit of a meh option for me, hence I’ve never been. I do wonder if it’s all just the hype of the place? Any chicken fans wish to put across their opinion, is it all that? The youngsters seem to like a ‘cheeky Nandos’. Oh and I’d happily take a very dull 0-0 on Saturday!
Mary Whatshername has more chance of scoring than we do..... That burger does sound good, but throw a slab of meat on top of the mushroom and halloumi and it sounds ruddy gorgeous.
Trust me the portobello mushroom has the same consistency as a beef patty, you can't tell the difference.
I wouldn't say it's hyped, just convenient and reasonably priced, with a reasonable choice of tasty, chicken based options. I like chicken and I like spice, so it works for me. Sent from my SM-N950F using Tapatalk
Quique to blow us all away and serve up humble pie by the thousands. Foster Janmaat Kabasele Cathcart Masina Doucoure Capoue Deulofeu Hughes Pereyra Gray Quique dozed off in the second half vs Everton due to his own tactics so spends a few days of double sessions creating the most expansive attacking unit we've ever seen. The front 4 all swap positions, the full backs play more like wingers and Capoue and Doucoure ensure Kabasele and Cathcart don't have a tackle to make. Lampard and Chelsea don't have a clue what has happened and by the time they've sussed us out they're 3-0 down. Quique then shuts up shop with the 532 and we lose 3-4, but it's a bloody good effort and Quqiue gets a new contract. Happy days.
I wish I wasn’t going but I am. We will park the bus, go 0-1 down, park the bus again and run out 0-2 losers. No disgrace as they are rather good this season under Lampard. However the entertainment on show will be truely diabolical as we head off to Norwich to try and secure a well earned 0-0.
1-0 win. We sh*thouse our way to our first victory of the season. Dawson header from a Holebas corner. We defend on our own penalty area for 89 minutes and frustrate Chelsea. COYH.
The only sure thing is we will not score. 0-0 is the dream ticket, but more likely a 0-2 defeat. But hey, the defence is better. Let’s all celebrate that.