The Offical Simms Uni Thread

Discussion in 'Taylor's Tittle-Tattle - General Banter' started by luke_golden, Sep 20, 2011.

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  1. domthehornet

    domthehornet Moderator

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    Get yourself to the STD clinic Simms, they put gonnorhea in your drink.
     
  2. El distraído

    El distraído Johnny Foreigner

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    I'd definitely join a society if I were you Simms. A great way to meet people, and lots of fun. Ever been skiing before? That's fun.
     
  3. Birdydoug

    Birdydoug The Flying Scotsman

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    Ok I'll ask, how did it happen ?
     
  4. simms

    simms vBookie

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    Three legged pub crawl the tape chaffed and i got a massive blister, not sure about the knee, i can't remember that one.

    I'm geuinely supprised i was ok that night. Chipped my tooth, puked in the street, and genuinely lucky not to get arrested.

    Best night of my life.
     
  5. Smithy

    Smithy Moderator

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    I think I speak for a lot of the regular viewers/posters to this thread when I say, please tell us more about this.
     
  6. TheDon

    TheDon First Team

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    Indeed.

    Are you going to be on crimewatch?
     
  7. King Dev

    King Dev Squad Player

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    Simms I don't care if it's a stray, still doesn't make it justified.
     
  8. luke_golden

    luke_golden Space Cadet

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    Rarely has anything i've read on this forum filled me with such joy.
     
  9. simms

    simms vBookie

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    It's somewhat incriminating so I don't think i can.
    We'll have to wait and see if the toilets had cctv or not... (i've said too much)
    I don't get it?
    I'm glad my drunken tales fill you with such glee. One day when i turn into Stanley Kubrick I shall make a movie about my life.
     
  10. Smithy

    Smithy Moderator

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    Hahaha Simmy's only gone and done a few lines in the toilets!
     
  11. simms

    simms vBookie

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    If only.
     
  12. Smithy

    Smithy Moderator

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    So it wasn't that. You didn't take part in a glory hole did you?
     
  13. TheDon

    TheDon First Team

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    I heard a rumour Simms had sex with a ladyboy prostitute
     
  14. Smithy

    Smithy Moderator

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    That's the current whisper that my sources seem to be discussing.
     
  15. leighton buzzard horn

    leighton buzzard horn Squad Player

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    You should be spending the next year getting as pissed as you can and rattling as many birds as you can. Remember to practice safe sex though by not telling them where you live...

    You only live once, enjoy it.
     
  16. Birdydoug

    Birdydoug The Flying Scotsman

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    Which forum member would like to play the part of Simms and who would play your Mother ?
     
  17. simms

    simms vBookie

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    Hah, if only... :D
    LOL, worse than that.
    I'm not going to publicly tell the forum, it's incriminating.
    I'm trying!

    How do you tell if a girl likes you in a club? Also how do i let a girl know i like her?
    I'd have harry the hornet playing the younger me, with Jack Nicholson playing me in my prime, with Richard Wilson narrating, playing me as a pensioner recalling my life.
     
  18. King Dev

    King Dev Squad Player

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    Haha good lad Simms!

    Well the way I've always found is that the shy ones will look at you and turn away quickly and she'll keep going a few times until you walk over. Unfortunately my eyesight is terrible so I've gotta kind've guess.

    The confident ones will give you a smile. Just go over and dance behind them for a while and make sure she can see you. Don't touch her or go up close behind her until she starts moving backwards or starts dancing with you. Jus seem like a perv otherwise.

    Yours sincerely The Situation.
     
  19. leighton buzzard horn

    leighton buzzard horn Squad Player

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  20. simms

    simms vBookie

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    Thing is, im not good at percieving other peoples emotions, this girl was whispering in my ear like are you ok, are you enjoying it, and kissed me on the cheek, i've got no idea if that meant she likes me or was genuinely concered after i puked in the street earlier.
     
  21. simms

    simms vBookie

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  22. Birdydoug

    Birdydoug The Flying Scotsman

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    Looks for signs like twisting her hair , laughing at your jokes with the odd teasing pat or slap, looking at you slighty longer than normal, open posture towards you when sitting down.

    You will do the same but you won't be aware of doing it.

    Things not to do are stare at her breasts ( you are encouraged to look at her breasts but only a sneeky look), fondle her bum or any unsocial contact.

    Girls will look for clean hands and clean teeth and positive nature.

    Don,t ever say the big L word because you don't.


    Most imporant thing is to be natural, be yourself , and look for a common ground of interest.
     
  23. Birdydoug

    Birdydoug The Flying Scotsman

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    She likes you yes, I would look at it as positve act from her. Next time you see her apologise for puking up in the street and thank her for her concern, then ask her out for a drink
     
  24. Heider Hyde

    Heider Hyde Reservist

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    Birdy, I would notice as I have no hair now. :doom:
     
  25. simms

    simms vBookie

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    How the hell are you meant to tell jokes when dancing face to face?

    I'm quite annoyed i've got lectures of the next few days and can't go out. I ought to be going out while my confidence is still high and my student loan is still plentiful.

    Do girls like beards or should i shave mine off?
     
  26. Birdydoug

    Birdydoug The Flying Scotsman

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    Shave it off.
     
  27. simms

    simms vBookie

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    Good idea. Thing is, out of lectures of about 300-400 people, chance are i'll never see her in person again. I've got her on facebook though.
     
  28. RussWatford

    RussWatford Reservist

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    This is like that thing where the fans bought a club and made all the decisions, except its with the WFCforums community and Simms. Failing that it is like playing 'The Sims'.

    Can we have polls up for all your major choices?

    p.s I'd go with a bit of stubble, but only do it if you can. Fluffy is bad.
     
  29. El distraído

    El distraído Johnny Foreigner

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    That's literally fine Simms. Better than that, it's good. Chat to her on facebook chat, and if things are going well, ask her out for a drink. If things go well there, ask for her number at the end of the date (but before you kiss her).

    If it goes **** up and she says no, like you said there's 300/400 people in your lecture. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain Simmyboy. Go for it.

    I met a girl off my course on friday on a night out and although she took me by surprise and I didn't know quite what to say, I added her on facebook the next day and we went out for a drink tonight. Went well I have to say. Will see her in lectures tomorrow.
     
  30. TheDon

    TheDon First Team

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    What is worse than a ladyboy prostitute simms?!?!?!?
     
  31. domthehornet

    domthehornet Moderator

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    George Micheal?
     
  32. King Dev

    King Dev Squad Player

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    Nah b**locks to that, invite her back to yours and go through her like a train.
     
  33. simms

    simms vBookie

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    That's a brilliant idea! It can be like an interactive blog.
    Good idea cheeky. Cheers for the advice. I feel i ought to get a move on with things, and go out a bit more while my confidence is high.
    Legally or morally?
     
  34. 352

    352 Moderator

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    'I drink, therefore I am.' The person who said that this should be the motto of the Philsoophy Society better not think they are incredibly original and hilarious for coming up with it like the guy who did so at our Uni, not realising that it must be the same at every other Philsoophy Society that wants to be recognised as nothing more than a group of people that love to get drunk. That's teh problem with Societies in general, there seems to be a majority in most that join up with the understanding that it's just all a big **** up. And then it just is that. Nothing more really. Isn't that a little bit boring? Maybe you'll start to think along these lines when the novelty of being at University wears off.

    Have you found out anything interesting in your lectures by the way?
     
  35. simms

    simms vBookie

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    Oh no of course. Wasn't it first a monty python joke?

    Yeh, well they also hold guest lecturers and debates and things so its not all drinking.

    Yes. In new zealand, rugby injuries cost their national health system more than smoking related illnesses. It's the same across the western world.

    So, morally we ought to ban sport rather than smoking.
     
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