Wines, Beers and Beverages - Recommendations

Sorry, you'll find it hard to get a decent Burgundy for £30.
Depends on what sort of tart she is. If she is used to Aussie merlots, but you want to impress, go for a St-Emilion. However I find Bordeaux wines, even right bank, are best with food, as still quite tannic. If you want something you can just drink, or are used to Aussie shiraz, go for a southern Rhône - Ch*teauneuf-du-Pape always impresses, fancy bottle, or for a bit less obvious Côte-Rotie or Crozes-Hermitage.
I am an expert in French wines. There, I've said it.

 

Did Paul Whitehouse model his character on you?

 

Yes, Julia Jenkins at Flagship Wines in Hatfield Rd, Snorbens, is great for advice.
I used to go thete until I joined the Wine Soc and she would be perfect to advise on a posh one-off

 

Get a case of gevry chambertin. Not heavy so suits most people. The cheaper vintages will be in budget.

 

Reasonable shout. Still question whether you'll get a good one for £30, though.

 

It's an awkward price point.

Maybe a 2012 Brunello or a good 2010/ 2015 Chateauneuf-du-Pape (try Guigal).

 

Yellow Tail's Jammy Roo red is rather tasty.

At £45 it's a tad over your upper limit, but the upside is that you get six bottles for that from Amazon...

 

Just to keep it clear.

 

Thanks all, I forgot to say, I hate the french for reasons relating to a primary school trip to paris so anything from there is out of the question.

 

RC could try guigalling, Mike, but he'd have to be very specific about what he was looking for.

 

You're ****ed then. Nothing else will be looked upon as 'posh'. I suggest a Hardy's Stamps of Australia Shiraz. Save your money.

 

When Aussie wines started coming over here, there was a branded white called Kanga Blanc. I forget what the red was called.

 

Have you considered a nice red liebfraumilch or Piat D'or ?

 

Do they do Black Tower in red?

 

I'm with you on that. You like what you like regardless of price.
Chilled red! Never tried this. With food or just in general?

 

ZZ top has a liquid diet. Mainly 9% abv or higher. Solids are restricted to the odd pork scratching and a twiglet for special occasions.

I have a red sparkling wine instead of champagne for new years a few years ago. Wasn't sure how to serve that so went with moderately chilled, which pretty much suits by general mood.

Cold wine, even white is wrong. It loses flavour.

 

Cellar temperature you fraking (been rewatching Battlestar Galactica over the summer) pleb.

 

https://sharpham.com/buy/beenleigh-reserve/

Very, very nice.

 

Watford reserve.....not so very very nice.

 

Haven't you heard? The British people have rather had enough of hearing from experts.

Boooooooooo!

 

Eh?
Don't disagree. Cellar temp for wine and beer.

 

As I said not a connoisseur. Honestly never knew you lose flavour when chilled. I just like cold whites but will try a chilled red just through curiosity now.
But was moaned at once by some snob once from holding the glass wrong. He said even holding the glass warms the wine which is criminal. Always by the stem. So I just necked the whole glass and jogged on.

 

Quite right too. The only way to hold the glass is significantly above the horizontal so you can snaffle the lot in a oner. In fact, why bother with a glass at all? And, if you can't get hold of a red then a bottle of Blue Nun, ribena tops, should be perfectly adequate.

 

Get a nice long straw and you don't need to touch a glass or the bottle.

 

You can use it to blow bubbles and amuse your guests.

 

Intriguing.

 

Has this tart dropped yet?

 

Sounds familiar.

 

Until fairly recently, I hated the Isle of Wight on account of having missed out on a school trip there when I was nine. This 'Solent phobia' had haunted me for a number of decades. I'm not sure if there's a collective term for it but there is one for getting (or not getting) on a cross-channel ferry. This is known as Thallasophobia, Naviphobia or Navisphobia. So common that they have three names for it. Lucky I didn't suffer from any of them as well then!

Anyway, I plucked up courage three years ago to take my mother there for a week. Ostensibly on giving her a break (she was 92 at the time) but of course principally in an attempt to cure my phobia (for which she was at least partly responsible).

And bingo, it worked a treat! Gone were the sweaty 3 a.m. fears of a plate-tectonic shift causing the IoW to smash into Portsmouth causing Richter 9 earthquakes in SW Herts. Decades of physcological trauma were removed at a stroke.

So my advice would be, once this tart is fit again, get her down to gay Paree, hang out on the left bank of the Seine with a few bottles from the left bank of the Gironde, leave all the misery behind, get smashed and plan your next move.

 

Yes. Whites need to be a bit chilled but not cold. Reds room temperature - but remember that that advice dates from the days when everyone's rooms were ******* freezing

 

TBF in the summer I do like to keep a bottle of Lidl's vinho verde (with a cork!) in the fridge. The coldness numbs the sharpness a bit and at around 9% ABV a low(ish) alcholic drink.

 

Don’t take any advice from this numbskull, he admits refusing to drink any bottles with screw tops on principle.

 

I also don't drink any beer/ale out of cans and canned soft drinks have to be drunk out of a glass. So what do you think of those apples then, eh?

Screw tops on wine are the work of the devil.

 

Chateau Mouton Cadet. Yeah it's French but they're not bad at wine.