What Are You Doing For Storm Ciara?

Definite staying in day tomorrow. A real and present danger to wheelie bins.

Meanwhile disturbing scenes from Donegal as the storm approaches Ireland.

https://twitter.com/donegalwaterbus/status/1226083461297049601?s=21

 

I'm taking some rusty tools down to the beach to be sand blasted

 

Too much information m8.

 

I’ve warned the kids. As they’re 3 and 5 they think I’ve used some kind of sorcery to do this, so hopefully it’s massively destructive and they’ll live in fear of my predictive powers going forward.

 

Due to be coaching and then playing a mixed match v Welwyn at Hoddesdon in the bubble.
Presuming that is that the bubble isn't blown away.
Oddly enough Welwyn often lose theirs as they are very high up.
Ford and Arthur staying put.

 

I’ve just learned that my other half thinks the phrase goes ‘batter down the hatches’ as in ‘the wind is going to batter down our hatches’

I don’t want to mansplain but....

 

A minutes silence for my favourite plant pot please folks.

rip big grey plant pot u r wiv da angles and harambe

 

City game called off. Won't be watching that then.

 

Lightweights.

 

Great. No doubt by the time it’s rearranged Man City will be deep into the Champions League and will play their reserves against West Ham.

 

Thoughts and prayers.

 

thnx hun x

Just going to take it one day at a time.

 

Devastating scenes in my garden. Not sure I can get through this, please God make it stop.

 

The goal in my garden has blown over. Tough times.

I was hoping the fence would come down as it's falling over and more importantly, it's not ours, so I won't be paying for the replacement. Bloody thing is still up.

 

Half of my neighbour’s fence blew down in winter 2015. There then followed 3 years of excuses and reasons why she couldn’t replace it before she sold up and scarpered last autumn. Her legacy is about 3 metres of pathetic chicken wire. I’m in it for the long haul though and will be hamming it up with the new owners as soon as the sun reappears. Probably walk around bollock naked while they’re at that end of the garden or something.

 

It could be tricky as my son has damaged the fence and made it lean by continually smashing a football at it for several years. Might have to make a contribution if it goes.

 

What am I doing for Storm Ciara? Nothing. What has Ciara ever done for me?

 

Apparently up in Staffordshire my other half’s aunty’s 20ft conifer has crushed her neighbours car and part of their house. Oops.

 

I'm doing a bit of hang gliding.

 

I built an ark...you'll see.

 

I don’t think I’ve ever heard the name Ciara before.

 

Every reception class will have at least 2 in September 2024.

 

Greta was right.

 

And that tree was straight before we played Brighton!

 

Right my missus is a primary school teacher and she knows someone with a kid in their classes who’s name written down is ‘L-A’. Bet you can’t work out how it’s pronounced.

Spoiler

‘Ladasha’ Like Natasha. We’re all ****ed. ****ed I tells ya.

 

There was a recent news story about a "traumatised" mother who named her crotch dumpling "ABCDE" and had to suffer the indignity of an airline employee giggling when they saw the name.

It's horrifying what these airline people feel they can do, I tells ya.

 

Our bins were knocked over and we had a soaked cat come back this morning who has very unimpressed! Apart from that, thankfully, we’ve been ok.

I can’t say the same for our neighbour - they’ve had a fence panel come down.

 

I used to be a high school teacher in Houston, and a few years ago I had L-A’ in my class. The look of indignation on her face when I simply read the letters out was something to behold. Once she’d explained it to me, I made sure to also pronounce the apostrophe too. She disliked me.

I also had a set of twins in the same class. Doc Mister Frank, and Mister Doc Frank.

Another year, I taught a girl named Female, who got her name because he parents were new to the country and didn’t speak English. They wrote her gender in the name box. She pronounced it Fem-al-ley to avoid embarrassment.

I’d expect such nonsense in this country, but not in the UK. Shameful.

 

My partner used to teach a kid named after the strip club where her parents met, the mum freely came forward with this at a parents evening. Its a name that didn’t age well when a certain Islamic terrorist group started to be known by this name too....

I’ve just never understood why you would make up an entirely new name. Especially in the UK. You’re just setting your kid up for years of bullying and trying to explain how the name is pronounced, spelled and why they thought it was a good idea. I’d hate to have to apologise for my name, it’s cruel and let’s face it, other peoples’ kids aren’t that special! It makes no difference if they’ve got a special name!

 

So it was a bit windy and a plant fell over, definitely worth the hype as ever.

 

Nothing gets the clicks going like a virus outbreak and a bit of weather.

 

My neighbour's recycling was blowing about Meister Lane. I had to swerve several times before I hit it leaving for work in the meistermobile this morning.

 

Did you remember to brush your teeth with a meisterbrush and eat some meisterfast before you left?

 

Bubble swayed around a bit and rain hammered on the plastic.
Nearly a punch up in the match.
No tea provided.

 

Don't be silly.

I don't do breakfast.