Watford Fc 4-1 Preston North End - 28/11/2020

A warm Watford welcome to the players and officials of our visitors this Saturday Preston North End.

For many of us, especially our younger Hornet readers, hearing the name Preston will immediately bring to mind the famous You Tube gaming personality and star, Preston Playz. With over 15 million subscribers (and counting) to his amazing gaming channel, where he playz games like Minecraft, there's little doubt he's the number one Preston of today!



But what perhaps some of you didn't know, is that nestled high up on the moors of northern England, halfway between Manchester and Blackpool. there's a town which bears the same name as the beloved YouTuber. Originally a sheep farming and wool spinning settlement named Nelson, the town's fathers decided to change the name to Preston to avoid confusion with another town also named Nelson close by. However the name Preston was not chosen in honour of Preston Playz, because You Tube hadn't even been invented then! Although these days the town might be somewhat in the gamer's shadow in terms of international fame and followers, it can at least claim to have been the first Preston.

What will come as a surprise to those of you who've only known Premier League football, is that Preston has a football club, named Preston North End. And they've won plenty of fame, locally at least, with some outstanding gritty footballing displays, which have taken seem them haul themselves up from the ignominy and humiliation of finishing rock bottom of the whole football league in 1986, to a jealously-guarded spot in the second tier, which they're determined to hang on to, despite their very limited resources. We must hope that Vladimir Ivic will make it clear to the players that we'll underestimate PNE as their fans call them (pronounced “Pee-knee”) at our peril. Any complacency on our part is sure to be punished. Preston have a team that's packed with determination and commitment and given this opportunity, they'll be keen to test their skills against multi-million pound internationals, who up until now will have been figures they'll only have seen on Match of the Day.

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Fun Fact!
Preston's football team chose their North End moniker to avoid confusion with Nelson following the name change. They chose 'North' because they played in the north of the town, whilst the 'End' part remains shrouded in the mystery of the ages. It has nothing to do, as some wags suggest, with players moving there to see out the very end of their careers.
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The Town

Unfortunately, like many northern towns, Preston has suffered many decades of severe and ongoing decline since the collapse of the wool industry, the mills and the spinning looms. The familiar flocks of sheep which Prestonians (as locals are called) used to tend out on the moors, are no more than a distant memory these days, although the towns ovine fancying past is proudly recalled in the football club's crest. A government report commission on the town's desperate circumstances noted “The Cottages are very dirty and miserable. Indeed there is such an entire absence of social comfort, that few respectable persons would imagine that there was such an amount of misery and destitution in Preston.” It's no surprise then, that in the midst of such dereliction and decay and with little hope on the horizon, Prestonians have earned something of a reputation for alcoholism along with anti-social and aggressive behaviour. According to Trip Advisor, some visitors have reported having fireworks thrown at them by groups of youths standing outside Bargain Booze or even having their hair set of fire while other Prestonians steal their wallets. I should emphasise that this is probably only a small minority though and there's almost certainly some perfectly decent Preston people despite the conditions under which they're forced to live. We must all pray that things start to improve for Prestonians, at least after they've played us!
















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Fun Fact!
Preston's number one tourist attraction is Broadland Wild Boar Park, where visitors can experience an unrivalled view of these hairy wild swine frolicking in their own mud and filth. But that's not all, excited visitors have also reported sightings of “a couple of goats and sheep and a cow with her calf. There was also a ferret and some guinea pigs.” So all in all, a unique, fascinating and great value day out for the whole family. Please note you're not allowed to stroke the animals and the park is closed indefinitely for the Covid.
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The Football Club

Life's been a constant struggle for Preston North End and they've spent almost every season since football re-started in 1992 in the bottom two divisions. Their high point came back in 2006 when they shocked the championship's big boys, achieving highest ever league finish of 4th and unexpectedly reaching the end of season playoffs. Unfortunately they were quickly brought down to earth with a 3-1 beating from their giant northern neighbours Leeds in the semi-final. Of course, Leeds were themselves humbled 3-0 in that year's final by none other than Watford as we won promotion back to the Premier.

However things haven't always been so bleak. Way back in the 1800s, when Queen Victoria was still on the throne, things like cars and electricity hadn't been invented and sportsmen still wore sweaters, flat caps and huge moustaches, Preston had a cricket team who decided to try their hand at playing football one day. As football had barely been invented and nobody was very sure of the rules or whether it was gentlemanly to try to win or not, the valiant cricketers found that before they knew it they had only gone and won a cup! It was a time of great celebration for the town and the club, which sadly has not been repeated in the 130+ years since.



This season finds plucky Preston comfortable in mid-table, a position they'll be more than comfortable with! Home defeats to the likes of Birmingham, Cardiff and Millwall have been balanced out by some decent away performances, most recently shocking league leaders Reading 3-0 last Saturday.

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Fun Fact!
Preston are the league's only team to have no less than three official nicknames! The club are known variously as The Proud Boys, The Pee Knees or The Lillypads.
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The Manager and Team - Pen Pictures


Alexander O'Neil (Manager) – Following a singing career spanning more than 40 years, Alex hit number four in the hit parade with the song 'Criticise' in 1987 and really entered the public consciousness when selected to appear on Celebrity Big Brother in 2015. Moving on in later life, Alex would bring his unique R&B stylings to football management with Hamilton Academicals in the lower reaches of Scottish football, before being snapped up by The Proud Boys.


Wrecklan Dudd (Goalkeeper) – Wierdy-beardy former Bressingham (Norfolk) FC striker, cannily converted into a goalkeeper. Following a couple of loan spells, Preston swooped for the flatlander, finally securing his signature for an “undisclosed fee” widely believed to be nothing.



[media][/media]


Darnell Fishcake (Defender) – Reading born defender who found success with Eldon Celtic and Farnborough, before moving into English league football with Rotherham United. Widely derided as The Millers worst player over an awful relegation season, the injury-plagued full back was snapped up by Preston on another undisclosed fee. This was later revealed to be “nothing” by the Preston manager. Fishfood achieved notable notoriety last Saturday for twice performing what some newspapers coyly describe as a “cupping” of a Sheffield Wednesday player's genitals. Others have described it as more of a “squeeze”, a “fondle” or in the case of one US reporter, a “honk”. Judge for yourself in the video below. It's certainly more than a little bit odd, if not a bit rapey.





Gerry Rafferty (Defender) – Veteran sax man turned footballer, Gerry spent six years at Rochdale before signing for Preston for an “undisclosed fee”, which might well have been nothing. Will not be winding his way down to Vicarage Road as he is banned for violent conduct.





Alan Brownhatt (Midfielder) – Signed from Cork City on a free after failing to make a first team appearance in three years for The Rebel Army, Brownshirt won praise for his “work ethic” and was quickly handed the captain's armband at Preston. Unfortunately since infected with confirmed Covid and likely to be absent on Saturday.


Tim Barkbutnobite (Forward) – Spotted plying his trade on the Fylde coast, Doghousen signed for the Pee Knees in 2019 on a free transfer. His family is of old South African apartheid stock, most notably his grandfather, General Sir Pieter Barkorders.





Prediction

There seems little doubt we should canter to a three or four nil win here, but we do need to be careful and not take these too lightly. They can be dangerous if we underestimate them. We've been bitten by underdogs before! However it should also be a good chance to rest and rotate the squad, perhaps giving a little game time to the likes of Sierralta and Navarro who should have way too much for the likes of Preston.

 

At least we’re playing at home so a chance we might score a goal

 

Haha good one.

 

Good home form so far so am optimistic about this one.

 

Very fine Clive.
Very fine indeed.

 

Ivic's last game. 0-2.

 

Hopefully we go for the same formation, with Deeney or Perica instead of Gray. God knows what's happening with injuries and Covid, the squad is looking pretty thin right now. Ivic may use that as an excuse to slip back into his favourite play-for-a-point 5-3-2.
A goal would be nice and has to be the main objective for Vlad's Fearless Warriors here.

 

Deepdale has, perhaps the finest footballing sculpture ever made:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deepdale#Sir_Tom_Finney_statue

 

Preston go into this match without any available full backs.

I'm sure we've researched this thoroughly, resulting in Sarr playing even deeper with his back to goal, while João Pedro is tasked with working out what position he is supposed to be playing.

With Browne suspended, Chalobah should have the freedom of the pitch to mince around and stylishly give the ball away at every opportunity.

Kiko will once again be our most forward-thinking player and should be admonished for not playing it around defence as instructed.

 

You forgot this Preston Clive.

 

Whatever happened to Simon Amstell? Does he appear on the comedy merry-go-round shows that are on like Jimmy Carr?

 

Well they're not very confident. But they also seem to think we're a lot better than we are, are terrified of Sarr and they have no left backs available (sounds familiar...)

https://www.pne-online.net/forum/index.php?threads/team-for-watford.3431999/

 

He wrote and directed Carnage, a programme about a future where vegetarianism is the norm and people look back at meat eating as we look back on witch burning. Think he's given up stand up.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p04sh6zg

 

Let us go crazy with daring and play Perica, but not Deeney.

 

In fairness, you could easily replicate those perfectly in Watford, so harsh to judge from them.

 

Home form has been good. Play the same front 3 for this home game. Let them build the on field chemistry, the more they play together the better the chemistry. Ivic can tell them they need to create more than in the last game in the pre game dressing room chit chat. Tweak the midfield if Ivic so chooses if other players are available.
Going to a 5-3-2 again may be a backward step.

 

Problem solved!

Jesus christ.

 

Kick off, pass the ball back, across, back across again, back across the other way, back to foster, Foster hoof, if it stays in and we win the ball back repeat x 10. Look mildly threatening up to the edge of their box but at no point attempt to get in their box.

Second half get bored of doing what we did in the first half and or/get dejected it didn’t work. Decide to try and find out what the bare minimum possible effort required to prevent a championship side from scoring is, either succeed or fail, a 50/50 chance we get this spot on. Game ends either 0-0 1-1 or 0-1.

Can somebody copy and paste this into the next match preview for me when it gets posted up, thanks.

 

WRONG.

You missed out the 'inexplicably give the kick off straight to a non-ball-playing centre back to cede possession by hoofing it up one of the wings, straight to the opposition/out for a throw'.

 

Must win game etc etc.
WFC 1 (not a striker,3) Preston 1 (anyone, 89)
Shoutbox not happy.
Possession WFC 70% PNE 30%
Shots WFC 5 PNE 11

 

I think it was 2 minutes 35 seconds from KO before BCFC touched the ball last night - mind you that contact led to them winning a free kick about halfway inside our half, so the net effect of that possession was zilch.

 

Yeah yeah yeah but great possession stats.

 

Watford 3-0 Preston

Perica hattrick

 

442 for me

Gray
Deeney

Sema Capoue Hughes Sarr

Femenia Cathcart Kabasele Ngakia

Foster

 

Sema and Capoue, at least, are isolating.

 

Clive's preview will be much more entertaining than the game I think

 

We've got an utterly lousy record at Preston, so I'm pleased this is a home match. Even with no fans it appears to be hugely significant to this Watford side. The last win at Preston, in any competition, was 1979 when Martin Patching scored the winner.

However, we're a different proposition at home. We've been actually quite lucky at the Vic, where key decisions and moments have gone for us at vital times. This makes a big difference. To have played as poorly as we have, but to have won 5 from 6 games is truly remarkable.

Preston are not up to much, but then nor are we. Should be a win, and will be if our team can be bothered.

 

Is Fishcake suspended or will our players need to wear a codpiece?

 

I travelled from N*mes to home via Liverpool to watch us get beaten in a terrible game at Deepdale. Wife not impressed at all. Tommy Hoban's debut I think. Whatever happened to Tommy Hoban?

 

It's my birthday tomorrow!

Please WFC give me the present I want!!!











* a home defeat, weeping clappers, plenty of shout box toxicity and a 'shock' announcement tomorrow that trigger happy Gino has sacked Ivic

 

We've all been in that position, where we know we are going too far, but it's so damn funny, we can't help it. Simon Amstell was a good host.