This Saturday, Watford play their 11th game of the season, against Chelsea. Watford remain winless so far, rooted to the bottom of the Premier League, have mustered a miserable 5 goals in 10 games so far, whilst conceding a generous 21 - some of which we helpfully tucked away ourselves, to help our opponents even further. Under the stewardship of Frank Lampard (JR), Chelsea have started the season well, sitting in 4th place at present. The 23 goals they have already scored look a tall order for us to match over the whole of the rest of the season. Their 16 goals against, is the average of two games vs Man City for us. Let's be clear, this is as David vs Goliath as it gets, except this time, Goliath has a sophisticated helmet protecting his vulnerable cranium and David has brought a wet musket with no balls instead of a slingshot. For the benefit of any fans nurturing a nascent hope that, despite everything that they've witnessed, maybe, just maybe, we'll upset all the odds and score a win on Saturday - we won't. We just won't. The very, very best we can hope for is a narrow, non-humiliating defeat. If you are wasting your time attending this match, and we keep it to a 2 or 3 goal margin, celebrate like we just won the World Cup, because that is the zenith of our potential achievements in this game. For me, I've given my season tickets for the game back to the club - good luck with their "keep it full" campaign. Anyone stupid enough to attend this for any reason other than the desire to see a healthy Chelsea win, should be carefully watched, as a danger to themselves and others. I'm going to watch Mary Poppins, instead, at the Prince Edward Theatre in London. The Cast: Produced by Cameron Mackintosh: Prince Edward Theatre, external: Internal: Afterwards, I might be going for a Nandos: the Meal Platter: Have fun everybody and COYH! And enjooooooooy the game! I won't be even following on my phone.