Things you hate IV

Talking with someone who has serious mental health issues and is unable to rationalise at all.

I hate the fact I can't help enough to take their pain, their fear or their self loathing away. ******* horrible.

 

Oh but they're cats. It's in their nature. Same as when they stand underneath your bird feeder and maul to death the songbirds you've lovingly attracted to your garden.

 

Stick these on your fence and you'll stop cats and foxes getting in.

 

I struggle with all manner of hand signals. Hailing taxi/ordering bill etc. The other day I was crossing a zebra crossing and got my hand caught in my coat trying to say thanks. After it sprung lose I ended up doing a full Nazi salute to the bemused driver.

 

My python likes cats. It annoys the neighbours when he takes one, but it's his nature. He's a python.

 

Shrink-wrapped food. I get it's to retain freshness, like with fish and certain types of cheese, but surely that there must be a way to do that that makes it less annoying for the consumer? Impossible to get it out without getting your fingers and the scissors dirty, and making a sizable dent in the food.

Also on a related note, best before dates and recycling information of which trying to find is like looking for a needle in a haystack.

 

The latest malevolent trend infecting written English - the unnecessary capitalisation of nouns, eg. 'I always have Toast and Jam for my Breakfast'. What is wrong with some people? Everyone with an ounce of intelligence knows it should be 'I always have toast and jam for my breakfast'. The words 'toast', 'jam' and 'breakfast' are not proper nouns. They are not at the beginning of the sentence, nor are they people's names, place names or brand names, so why capitalise them?

I'm not sure where this evil comes from. Predictive text? The influence of American media? Maybe we're turning our language into German, in which all nouns are capitalised? If it's not predictive text then surely it takes extra effort through the holding down of the shift key to capitalise a noun mid-sentence, so why do it?

It really, really does irritate me, even more than apostrophe and homophone errors. The only other thing that annoys me as much is the gratuitous inclusion of superfluous exclamation marks at the end of a sentence. Only one is needed and even then in moderation. Those who insert them to resemble herds of zombies from The Walking Dead need re-educating!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Customer satisfaction surveys where the person who has dealt with you tells you that you will be asked to grade various things out of 10 "....but they consider anything below 9/10 as really poor and we will get in trouble so if you think we were reasonably ok can you give us a 9 or a 10 ?".
**** off. "Ok" is 5 or 6 and I'm just going to knock another 2 off for treating me like an idiot.
Happened twice in the last few weeks. Holiday guide and garage.

 

Tools for lazy management, mainly box ticking exercises. If the reviewee in question can even discuss the scoring it's a waste of time

When I ran a call centre, team leaders reviewed a random sample of agent calls and praised / educated them where required. System worked well and I increased the standard industry churn from 7 months to 3 years. Happy people do a better job and stay longer.

 

Priti Patel.

 

Maybe they are referring to their morning repast being accompanied by the comic song "Toast" sung by Streetband (featuring Paul Young), then one of the many works of Paul Weller and co. I think "Breakfast" is probably a typo.

 

Someone called me on Monday from Skipton Building Society where I have my savings. It looked suspicious because it's the only time I've ever had a call from them in the 10 or so years I've been with them, and he left a message telling me to call back without saying what it was about.

I haven't returned the call and I strongly suspect it was a customer satisfaction survey which just about everyone hates - he knew if he told me I definitely wouldn't get back to him!

 

He just wanted to know how satisfied you were with how quickly they transferred all your funds last week. It's a fair question.

 

Yep you can let them know my Nigerian office received the cash OK.

 

It's what a catapult is for. Works on squirrels too. Small ball bearings best ammo.

 

Packaging, of the clear plastic kind found on items like tin opener, scissors and most hardware items. They need tough scissors (inside the packaging) or even tin-snips (it was so tough) to cut through, then leaves jagged edges, and will never biodegrade in a million years.

I bought two lockable door handles from Wickes and one from B&Q that was held in plastic packaging, with bolts, and the other was held in by these hard one way plastic clip thingies which couldn't be taken off by hand. When I could get them off, the package didn't contain the bits inside that I expected, and there was no explanation as to what the package contained, and the assistant obviously didn't know, meaning I had to go back and get more parts. One didn't have the parts, and they complained that I had destroyed the packaging, and didn't want to refund the money.

Grrrrr!

 

Shrinkwrapping uses the least possible amount of material to protect the product. Often there's modified atmosphere inside - the gases tailored to what's needed to keep that particular product in good condition.

If you don't like that you can always buy your stuff from a market stall and hope you don't have to throw much of it away.

 

Ha ha, that could have been me. Same screwdrivers, more hair.

 

Beat me to it. Fantastic episode, that one.

 

The way Priti Patel leaves the 'g' off anythin' containin' 'ing' .

 

Priti Patel's elephantitis of the arrse.

 

As opposed to Diane Abbott?

 

Yeah, cause Abbott is just large. Patel is a weeble.

 

She always comes across to me with a smugness approaching Noel Edmonds proportions.

 

I was thinking there's probably some politicians that are more weeblelike but there might be a case to answer there.


Tory Cabinet
Domonic Raab, Matt Hancock, Oliver Dowden.
Michael Gove, Rishi Sunak
Lizz Truss , Boris Johnson, Priti Patel


Weeble

 

Mind you in the interest of fairness:


Corbyn
Starmer Nandy Thornbery McDonnall

Dianne Abbott is Trigger and Blair is Boycie

 

Strong and stable.

 

You don’t need to add balance to every statement. And certainly not in Priti Patel’s case as her huge arse has a v low centre of gravity.

 

Could be a cabinet Britain would vote for, that is until the Daily Mail notices the obviously Muslim bloke in the middle.

 

Disappointed to see fat shaming going on here, especially after the Caroline Flack incident. Criticise Patel's/Abbott's policies or but not their body shape. Whether they see it or not isn't the point. Sorry, I just think a line has been crossed.

 

VAR review in progress.......

 

It did cross the line, Priti Patel first on account of her large backside.

 

You are not wrong and after getting one last indefensible crack in, I apologise.