Things you hate IV

I NEVER hover. I do carry some alcoholic gel to clean up anything before hand though.

 

Never realised there were so many toilet weirdos on this forum.

 

Says the man who takes his shitting techniques from Sir Christopher Cockerell.

 

Same. My parents marched me out of things right-sharp if I even slightly misbehaved as a kid. Oddly enough, I tended not to misbehave when going places...

The problem isn't kids, it's badly behaved ones the parents let run riot. There are plenty of children who manage to attend things without ruining everyone else's experience. They tend to be the ones with responsible parents. Unfortunately, some parents just don't give a toss.

 

Not for me, I go to the iMax which prices the little shysters out.

What I couldn't stand is watching a film in the US...judging by the audience reaction videos on YouTube I'd get into a fight trying to shut them up so I can actually watch the film.

 

This doesn't quite ring true. My kids are absolutel angels, praised for their consideration and manners by all who encounter them. I'm an utter turd, however, who has no idea how they ended up being so wonderful.

 

Obviously your wife has a lot to take credit for.

 

I'm fairly sure those are staged, because not once has anything like it happened at any film I've ever been to.

Could be a regional "feature", of course.

 

But can they use a toilet in a non-weird way?

 

My fav Cadburys Twirl 4 pack for 90p at Tesco when I'm on my post Xmas diet.

B'stardos do it on purpose.

 

The Masked Singer.

Dear god who created this abomination and why?! Awful Saturday night TV.

 

My illiterate,innumerate,lazy,dirty,smelly,useless excuse for a colleague.
Displays a total lack of professionalism,awareness of standards,ability to teach what the situation requires. You name it.
If anyone has a small hen in its late forties that would like to deliver some tennis lessons please contact me.
Utterly useless.

 

When you spend the best part of two weeks on and off trying to find a holiday for the summer with afternoon flights for the 3yo and 5yo who struggled with late flights last summer. And eventually find one and get it booked, despite having to pay a bit more. And then a week later TUI change the time of the outbound flight without warning so we will arrive at nearly 1am instead. ******* useless ********

 

The cost of printer ink combined with the fact you have to print adverts if you need to print gig e-tickets and the rip-off service charges when you buy them in the first place.

I had to print four gig tickets as shipping wasn't an option, nor was there 'e-entry' via a phone app. Four tickets, each one on an A4 sheet which was 75% adverts. To really rub it in, one advert had a black background and a tiny logo in the middle of it, nothing else. 'See Tickets' iirc. I complained but got nowhere. Printing the damn things would probably have cost as much as the tickets themselves.

So ticket companies can go and **** themselves with their handling costs, service charge and postage costs (charged even if you opt for print at home) and their stupid adverts that you have to print as well.

In the end their greed forced me to break the law and print them at work instead (shhhhh!)

 

Why is that breaking the law?

 

I presumed he had to kill the chap guarding the printer or something. Messy business but well worth it for the 3p saving.

 

It was quite simple. I just used classic diversion tactics and told him that the other printer had run out of yellow toner, so he rushed off to deal with that particular crisis.

 

Footballish. A dialect in which, for every verb, a mixture of present and imperfect is used.
"He's went to the far post"
"He's took a touch, then then knocked it in".

Also the phrase 'late doors' - is 'early doors' not teeth-grindingly bad enough?

 

'Big Ron' has a lot to answer for.

 

Imbecilic blond women in their whacking great four wheel drive vehicles that cannot drive the ruddy things.
The latest example was some soppy tart who,on collecting her child from the running club last night*,would not back up twenty yards as she said "It's a new car and I don't want to reverse it as this path is too narrow".
Learn to drive you witless woman!
She said all of this in the style of the 'wide mouthed frog' he of the joke about the lion. Botox I'd think.
* They hire three of our courts on a Thursday night for junior running club.

 

View from the other side: my cousin who is very rich and has no social conscience whatsoever bought his wife a giant Porsche 4x4 thing because "she's a terrible driver and I want protection round her and the kids when she next crashes".

 

Ah yes!
That reminds me of when a lady in her fwd reversed into another 's brand new car,many years back at Queenswood indoor courts.
When her husband was told he just signed and said "She thinks the rear view mirror is for checking her makeup".
Oddly enough they are now divorced!

 

Seeing as I named TUI as the culprits I may as well conclude the story.

I rang them yesterday ready for a battle. The woman on the phone immediately accepted it was a rancid flight change and noted we had little'uns on the booking without me even having to mention it. Offered us a free of charge move to another flight, but there were none from Birmingham without night flights back. She took the time to go through other options and we've ended up going from Manchester instead a day later. But in return, the flight out is at a more reasonable time and the journey back is still during the day. And TUI have paid for our parking at Manchester so I feel like my extra driving there/back is covered and we're probably up a couple of quid.

 

Reading this, I was struck by the fact a man posting it would probably be labeled a misogynist.

Strange world we live in!

 

Potholes...... Recent rains have brought a number of new monster. Got done by one yesterday with a resultant puncture and a few other cars in the vicinity parked on verges with hazard lights on so suspect a few others affected too. State of our roads appalling and that's before you get onto the amount of litter about

 

I’m sure this is all the fault of the EU and will end on 31 Jan.

 

The cold hand of death. It came for my daughter's gerbil last night.

 

RIP

 

wiv da angles now m8

 

2 rite m8 as it was acute hamster

 

Did the gerbil leave you anything in its will?

 

f

 

Well said.