Swiss Army Knife

Discussion in 'Taylor's Tittle-Tattle - General Banter' started by swiss army knife, Jul 10, 2018.

  1. swiss army knife

    swiss army knife Academy Graduate

    Hello everyone, I decided that it would be nice to have one for myself, but I do not know anything about them, can you advise something?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 10, 2018
  2. Stevohorn

    Stevohorn Watching Grass Grow

    Join the Swiss army?
     
    Moose likes this.
  3. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth First Team Captain

    Just because you are in a London drugs related gang and are worried that the next postcode's gang are knife carriers, doesn't mean you need to stoop to their level. If confronted try reciting some of the old testament to your potential slayers.
     
  4. UEA_Hornet

    UEA_Hornet First Team Captain

    Yes. Whatever you do, don't cut the red wire.
     
    The undeniable truth likes this.
  5. PhilippineOrn

    PhilippineOrn First Team

    What does the Swiss Army do all day if they are neutral?
     
  6. Diamond

    Diamond First Team

    Strange avatar m8, wots that all about?
     
  7. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth First Team Captain

    Open cans of veg and beer, and carve graffiti into trees with their clever little knives ?
     
  8. inayellowshirt

    inayellowshirt From the other place

    I used to sell them.

    I'm not Swiss

    Or in the Army

    Nor were the people that bought them
     
  9. And dig holes in Swiss cheese?
     
  10. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    I'd go for a Leatherman or a Gerber instead. You're welcome
     
  11. cyaninternetdog

    cyaninternetdog Forum Hippie

    Wait, is this a not so clever ploy to get people to click your link?
     
  12. PhilippineOrn

    PhilippineOrn First Team

    Brilliant ruse if true.
     
  13. Stevohorn

    Stevohorn Watching Grass Grow

    Ive always wondered about the Swiss navy. Apparently they have one.
    Do they have to carry their boats around? If so they must be extremely fit especially given the mountainous terrain.

    PS Maybe they decided to become neutral after comparing their pens knifes against countries with nucleur capabilities?
     
  14. hornmeister

    hornmeister Tired

    Even clevererer to dump the link but hijack the thread.

    I've fancied one for a while.
     
  15. Bloke

    Bloke Reservist

    There's not a single record of any horse in the Swiss Army having a stone in its hoof.

    ....having said that, Leatherman all day long (cos it sounds a little bit rude!)
     
  16. In which case can I suggest the Leatherman Squirt model sir
     
    Bloke likes this.
  17. No - Hannibal showed them the secret all those years ago. They have a National Herd of elephants...
     
    Stevohorn likes this.
  18. Bwood_Horn

    Bwood_Horn Squad Player

    *Stolen from the ARRSE.
     
  19. KelsoOrn

    KelsoOrn Squad Player

    I've always carried one.
     
  20. Oscar calling

    Oscar calling Squad Player

    They should have plenty in the Vatican as the Swiss Army mind the Pope.
     
  21. another_mrlizard

    another_mrlizard Squad Player

    So it's not just football you're perpetually wrong about then?
     
  22. Oscar calling

    Oscar calling Squad Player

    Are you suffering from stomatitis Mr Lizard?
     
  23. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    I have literally no idea what this thread is about.

    That's it. I'm getting all my general banter from Reddit from now on.
     
  24. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth First Team Captain

    They have great info and links for friendlies too. Superb site. But you need the secret handshake from Powerjugs or Reids before you're allowed to join.
     
    Optimistichornet likes this.
  25. another_mrlizard

    another_mrlizard Squad Player

    Am I what, you complete prolapse?

    Did you just close your eyes, open a dictionary, point to a random word and post it?
     
  26. Oscar calling

    Oscar calling Squad Player

    Yawn! You must be the weirdest poster on this forum.
     

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