Newcastle United FC 1-0 Watford FC - 03/11/2018

Discussion in 'Match Day' started by Ghost of Barry Endean, Oct 31, 2018.

  1. In the absence of a match thread rota etc etc, and as Newcastle, are, as Mollyboo has pointed out, the epitome of a club treading water, with minimal effort I’ve recycled last year’s thread.

    Saturday's opponents find themselves in a mini slump having not won all season. Looking at their squad, their mid-table position seems a little strange, as they don't seem to have exactly the same squad as last season in the Prem when we beat them twice. The one major factor that has not changed of course is that rather than Schteve being in the dugout, Rafa Benitez is still at the helm (slightly puzzlingly, as Mike Ashley has not been particularly supportive, and Rafa might consider he deserves better having stuck with the club in the Championship and overachieved last season.)

    Rafa Benitez with wife Edith, yesterday

    The only notable playing addition since we last played them is Japanese international Yoshinori Muto of whom I know little and can be arsed to find out less. Still there is arse-faced but talented winger Guy Ritchie, who having been binned off by Madonna was free to move to the grim North-East, Madge having previously told him that she was not moving from the Sandbanks mansion next door to best mate 'H'.

    Wingman Guy Ritchie

    One player who was around last time, of course, is sometime England midfielder Jonjo Shelvey. Interestingly, he has worked with Ritchie before advising on bareknuckle fighting culture for the film Snatch. Famously volatile, our fancy-dan midfielders should have no problem provoking a yellow card or two, or at least forcing an early subtitution

    Jonjo Shelvey

    As for the game itself, a full house of travelling Hornets should make it a raucous atmosphere; a Premier League ruling should ensure that a few of them are close to the pitch, and avoid the nosebleeds and vertigo that come with climbing the 14 flights of stairs to the third tier of the Gallowgate stand, to which away fans have been traditionally consigned.

    *Note, the Geordies got around this ruling last year through a Pozzoesque loophole , don’t know if this will be repeated this year – if you are climbing to the top look out for the puke puddles as a few less-adventurous-than-Ranulph-Fiennes Hornets lose their beer’n’parmo lunches.

    Good luck to all those travelling. Although normally the welcome is warm in Geordieland, they do in fact have the worst behaved fans in English football, so be respectful!
  2. Cassetti's Beard

    Cassetti's Beard Squad Player

    With our squad we should really be smashing teams like this if we're serious about pushing onto Europe, anything less than a comfortable victory will be embarrassing.

    Newcastle 0-4 Watford
  3. UEA_Hornet

    UEA_Hornet First Team Captain

    Time for the giants to travel to the land of pygmies and come away with the win everyone expects.
    Sort of OK and Ray Knight like this.
  4. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth Squad Player

    They look doomed and Rafa shows all the body language of someone who's thrown in the towel.
    Must win game.
    2-1 to NUFC.
    PowerJugs, Beekayess and Ray Knight like this.
  5. Clive_ofthe_Kremlin

    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin Squad Player

    I feel a bit sorry for Newcastle really.

    They're like a little nervous black and white stripy gazelle that's in the sights of our pack of hungry golden lions.

    It's going to be another gloomy night of sunken-shouldered post match interview woe for Melon-head Benitez.

    Their only possible salvation from relegation certainty is that Cardiff and Huddersfield are also dire. So there's only one spot left to fight over and, in the unlikely event of grubby business brute finally stumping up a bit of cash in January, they may possibly give a few end of season worries to Southampton and Fulham.
    SkylaRose, Ray Knight and RookeryDad like this.
  6. hornetboy1

    hornetboy1 First Team

    Newcastle always provide us with 6 points over a season, and I can't see why this game should be any different, with our first 3 point instalment due on Saturday.

    Not sure we'll smash them, but a comfortable victory should be within our reach.

    But a word of caution, as always, if Watford don't turn up they will lose.....yes even to Newcastle. But if we play our normal game, and referee Mr Pawson doesn't intervene, we will be ok.
    Ray Knight likes this.
  7. Diamond

    Diamond Squad Player

    Their match preview in post 1 has got to be one of the best I've ever read. Nailed it.
  8. hornetboy1

    hornetboy1 First Team

    Love this prediction from a Newcastle fan.


    One of their players clatters a team mate and Ritchie gets booked for it. From the subsequent free kick, a Watford player carries the ball into our net in both hands and the goal is given. Ritchie protests and gets a second yellow.

    90 mins - A Watford player takes an epic dive about 10 metres outside the box. The referee does a fist pump and awards the pen, sending off Lascelles in the process, even though it was Atsu nearest the player. Penalty is missed, but the ref orders a retake because three Watford players had encroached. Pen is scored. Rafa gets a touchline ban for asking the fourth official what is going on.

    Later on match of the day, a replay of Shelvey fairly tackling someone is reshown from 99 angles in slow motion and Lineker repetedly calls for him to be banned. The FA immediately oblige and give him a fine and 6 game ban.

    The next day Perez trips over a cat that isn't there and protests wildly before realising that he's in Tesco. He stands still doing nothing whilst the world continues around him.

    Mike Ashley takes another £30m out of the club, charging NUFC for purchase of SD training items.
  9. One of the 3 certainties in life: death, taxes, and taking 6 points off Newcastle.
  10. Clive_ofthe_Kremlin

    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin Squad Player

    As for hints and tips for those travelling, first of all, wrap up warm. Newcastle is almost to Scotland and it's a different type of cold from what we have here.

    We have a little gentle frost on the grass in the morning. Perhaps a couple of swipes of the windscreen wipers are needed in the mornings to clear away where mild Hertfordshire Jack Frost has gently dabbed the glass overnight. Perhaps on the very coldest winter nights, we might even need to put on a little jacket when we go out and tell each other that it's getting a bit 'chilly'.

    Up there though, it's permafrost. Tundra. I had to go there once at this sort of time of year with an ex to visit her sister who'd moved up there for some reason. I was taken aback. I was expecting cold. I knew it was far to the north. But I did not expect the sort of cold which I encountered. Miserable cold. Freezing black cold.

    My over-riding memory is standing on a street next to a place that sold caravans and mobile homes, which was protected by a grim metal security fence which ran the full length of it. Topped with razors and what have you. It was half past three in the afternoon, but already dark. Not completely, but an awful bleak freezing twilight. The freezing wind whipped down the street, making your eyes water and your nose snot. It must have been very similar to what Scott of the Antarctic experienced.

    And the housing estate where her sister lived was also beyond grim. It never really got light properly during the day. Only a miserable sort of freezing, half light. Nothing but weather-blasted Barratt's housing hutches surrounded by concrete and the occasional patch of scrub grass barely managing to survive.

    I also saw the sea. It was not like our sea we are used to. It was a fierce freezing monster lashing the grim scrubby shoreline and washing up lumps of dirty old coal and such like.

    It's a cruel joke that they make away supporters sit in the very highest eagles nest of a giant stand, fully exposed to the elements and a clear view all the way to the fjords.

    Layers is the answer. Wear plenty of layers.
  11. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    What succinct comments.

    Not even a list of 11 names.

    Clive's poetic pieces would have to be serialised on there.

    Btw, I was struck by this:

    "What is a club in any case? Not the buildings or the directors or the people who are paid to represent it. It’s not the television contracts, get-out clauses, marketing departments or executive boxes. It’s the noise, the passion, the feeling of belonging, the pride in your city. It’s a small boy clambering up stadium steps for the very first time, gripping his father’s hand, gawping at that hallowed stretch of turf beneath him and, without being able to do a thing about it, falling in love." - Sir Bobby Robson

    Bordering on the sentimental but it does capture something.

    Of course, we would have to say 'pride in the western portion of a shire in the Home Countries'.
    Ray Knight likes this.
  12. Forzainglese

    Forzainglese Reservist

    nisman94 and Knight GT like this.
  13. Relegation Certs

    Relegation Certs Squad Player

    The law of averages suggests they must beat us at some point.

    Not this time though, 3 ******* nil us.
  14. Relegation Certs

    Relegation Certs Squad Player

  15. Diamond

    Diamond Squad Player

    A few years ago a bunch of us went up there for a mid December game and it was properly bl**dy freezing. We lost but stayed up there for the Saturday night. I was walking around town with 4 layers of clothes, hat, gloves, the lot, and still cold. The natives don't even take coats out.
    The next morning standing on the platform, just as cold as the night before, there were locals with kids in what I can only describe as "Hertfordshire spring clothing". They're a different breed for sure.
    PowerJugs, Ybotcoombes and Ray Knight like this.
  16. Knight GT

    Knight GT Predictor extraordinaire 2013/14

    Blimey they're a cheerful bunch!
    As long as we stop Ritchie, no hang on, he's ****, As long as we stop Rondon, no hang on, he's ****. As long as we stop Perez, no hang on, he's ****. Away banker if I've ever seen one
    Lose 3-0
    PowerJugs and Ray Knight like this.
  17. Hornet4ever

    Hornet4ever WFC Forums Last Man Standing Winner 2018/2019

    Might not all be so cocky on Sat eve. Don't forget this is Watford & you have to respect Newcastle, Rafa will desperately want to pull a result out the bag & go on a run.

    They are fighting for their lives.

    Unless the Mk2 supercharged continental turbo team turn up, seeing a draw.
  18. Ágætis Byrjun

    Ágætis Byrjun First Year Pro

    We've beaten them with ease every time but... a moment of madness, giving away penalties, red cards. You just never know.

    Kenedy on his day is unplayable. When he isn't, he's the worst player in the league.

    All said, I can't fathom why Newcastle thought selling Dwight Gayle was a good idea. Same as Tom Ince at Huddersfield. These are difficult players to defend against! Sold and replaced with nothing special.

    Tighter affair than I'd like, but 1-2 Watford.
    PowerJugs and Ray Knight like this.
  19. carboy98

    carboy98 First Year Pro

    Amazing scenes on their forum.

    I was thinking last week, against Huddersfield, that we haven't really tonked anyone for a long time. I'm talking 4, 5-0. That's why I was a bit frustrated last week despite the result, we had enough chances to really wallop them.

    This is another chance.

    Obviously, though, these are exactly the type of games we have a howler in. It's the Watford way. 4-0 Newcastle, tough afternoon for the Hornets.

    Will Kenedy celebrate? That's the real question. Fond, fond memories of his time here.
    RookeryDad likes this.
  20. lowerrous

    lowerrous Squad Player

    I was devastated when he left - he's now dead to me.
  21. Ray Knight

    Ray Knight First Year Pro

    Luved the golden lions metaphor but I think those black and white stripey things are called Zebras! Good to see you back to your best.
  22. Markoa$

    Markoa$ Reservist

    A should win game, but this is Watford we are taking about, so inevitably, we will lose.

    Newcastle 1-3 Watford
  23. Robert Peel

    Robert Peel Reservist

    A couple of things...

    1. The "Parmo" is exclusively a Teesside delicacy, no self respecting Geordie would eat one, let alone drop it
    2. I went to Aberdeen in winter once and it was dark by 2:30pm.
    3. I am going to this and staying over for a night out. I say "night out" but I expect I'll be in bed by midnight.
  24. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth Squad Player

    I'm sure he will be back here in some form of coaching capacity when his playing days are over, along with the Tales from the vicarage meets of course.
  25. Lloyd

    Lloyd Reservist

    About a hundred years ago I spent an evening in a Newcastle pub where they held a 'meat raffle' - a prize draw where the winners picked up sausages, chops etc. Extraordinary
  26. carboy98

    carboy98 First Year Pro

    "The Kenedy Stand"
  27. Since63

    Since63 Reservist

    That's always happened Sunday lunchtime in all the Working Men's Clubs for whom I used to play football....quite normal I'd say.
  28. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth Squad Player

    I believe it started during the war and has continued due to the lower living standards in the north. It's not uncommon to hear diners request that their sausages are cooked "medium rare" in Newcastle.
    Ray Knight, RookeryDad and Lloyd like this.
  29. Lloyd

    Lloyd Reservist

    Not in my world. Thankfully
    RookeryDad likes this.
  30. 1 I knew this but couldn't come up with a Tyneside delicacy off the top of my head. Maybe a pease pudding stotty.

    edit: I thought I had imagined this but it is a very real, and very vile, thing.
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2018
  31. vic-rijrode

    vic-rijrode First Year Pro

    Rather a smug self-satisfied response there Lloyd - what kind of world do you live in then?
  32. PhilippineOrn

    PhilippineOrn First Team

  33. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth Squad Player

  34. BigRossLittleRoss

    BigRossLittleRoss Squad Player

    They looked decent against Utd in first half .

    Let’s save the cockiness for when we play Liverpool
    Pob and Mollyboo like this.

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