Huddersfield 1-0 Watford FC - 14/04/2018

Discussion in 'Match Day' started by Steve Leo Beleck, Apr 8, 2018.

  1. Steve Leo Beleck

    Steve Leo Beleck Squad Player


    Next Saturday will be the third instalment of what critics are calling "The Tinpot Trilogy". After throwing away five points to Bournemouth and Burnley in consecutive home matches, we're off to the most tinpot of all Premier League clubs, Huddersfield.

    No-one knows much about Huddersfield such as where it is, what they're doing in the Best League in the Worldor even how they got there. Apparently their manager Daniel Wagner is some sort of budget Jurgen Klopp but this could just be a lazy comparison based on them both being bespectacled Germans. Indeed, if Klopp's style of football is sometimes branded "heavy metal football", Wagner's shot-shy Terrors are like a confused opera with questionable undertones. These lightweights have only managed 26 goals in their 32 games, so even our leaky defence should be able to keep them at bay. They've only scored one goal in their last six games, hardly surprising when most of their squad sound like made up players: Terence Kongolo, Florent Hadergjonaj, Rajiv Van La Parra, Elias Kachunga, Colin Quaner being just some of the exotic journeymen on their books. As long as we score, we'll get something out of the game, as they're not going to have the ability to score more than once against us.

    Their best player is Watford reject Jonathan Hogg, who is on loan there for a few years. It's difficult to assess whether he will ever be good enough to return to our first team squad as he is surrounded by such dross. The club itself has a similarly unremarkable history, with their only recent(ish) trophy win being the Yorkshire Electricity Cup in 1995 and this being their first season in the Premier League. Anyway. here's a photo of Hoggy from happier times.


    As for the Hornets, we're already on the beach now that we're an established Premier League club. As we're safe, our players don't have to bother with the boring stuff like defending set pieces and winning games - the good ones can just spend their time giving interviews to foreign newspapers about how they can't wait to leave the club, whilst the rubbish ones can mess about designing hideous clothing lines and laughing at the length of their contracts. Boring robo-coach Javi Gracia has achieved his objective of keeping us up but unfortunately has been infected by some malware that makes his only tactic to bring on Stefano Okaka at the 70 minute mark, regardless of what's happening in the game.

    Last edited: Apr 8, 2018
  2. I Blame Bassett

    I Blame Bassett Squad Player

    I'm not entirely sure this will be well received in Huddersfield SLB!
    I'm playing a match so I've asked a friend to text me when we manage a shot.
    I will set my alarm for 'Okaka Time' at approximately 4.28pm.
    Spanbot reminds me of Marvin.
  3. hornetboy1

    hornetboy1 First Team

    Oh away game.

    Under Gracia our away form has been pretty appalling. Southampton 0-1, Stoke 0-0, West Ham 0-2, Arsenal 0-3, Liverpool 0-5. At least there's the symmetry with nil.

    It depends on whether Huddersfield get any free kicks from the half way line or not. If they force a corner, I think it may be too much pressure for Watford to handle.

    With that in mind, I'm going for Watford 0.......Huddersfield a few.
  4. miked2006

    miked2006 Premiership Prediction League Proprietor

    One of our midfielders will score.

    Holebas will have 14 set pieces that fail to find a Watford player.

    We won’t win.
    Bloke and Cthulhu like this.
  5. SkylaRose

    SkylaRose Reservist

    After our last results combined with Arsenal doing us a favour today and Stoke losing yesterday a point here would be great. We haven’t won away since Newcastle, we haven’t scored away either.

    Could be a narrow loss, or a even game. Can’t see us winning but can se us losing.
  6. suffolk terrier

    suffolk terrier Academy Graduate

  7. suffolk terrier

    suffolk terrier Academy Graduate

    Hi there, just popped on here to see if there was anything about the forthcoming match between our two teams on Saturday. SLB, hang your head in shame; if your article was meant to be humorous you have scored an own goal. I am not going to waste my time refuting all your disrespectful and downright inaccurate comments. Safe to say if you think that Jonny Hogg , much as we all admire him up here, is our best player, then you have very little understanding of the game. Shame really, as Watford are a team Huddersfield are trying to emulate, i e, staying in the Premier League as long as possible. Hope you stay up but next time do a bit more research about otherteams
  8. Reggy

    Reggy Academy Graduate

    No way are we safe from relegation.

    Saints will pick up points, mark my words. I, for one, wouldn’t want to go into the last three games needing points to be mathematically safe.

    A win at Huddersfield will do it.
    RookeryDad likes this.
  9. Markoa$

    Markoa$ Reservist

    A must not lose game. Unfortunately we will. Onto the next one. No point in turning up. Might as well cancel the trip, forfeit the game and take the 3-0 automatic loss, it will be less embarrassing.
  10. Burnsy

    Burnsy Squad Player

    You should probably read a few threads on this forum before you take it to heart. We are all terribly tinpot around here.

    9-0 to the Terriers. Clyde Wijnhard and Ken Monkou to share the goals. Deeney to go awol in a pie-shop pre-game.

    Huddersfield also had a player called Jack ****
  11. I think Gracia will have learned his lesson and instead of playing Prodl and Mariappa will switch them around and play Mariappa and Prodl
  12. Pob

    Pob First Year Pro

    I wonder if we should throw this match? In terms of long term strategy we’re better off keeping Huddersfield in the division rather than Soton or Palace.

    I like Captain Picard and want him to be happy which is another reason to throw it.
    UEA_Hornet and Cthulhu like this.
  13. Guy

    Guy Squad Player

    I would like ourselves in the division first
  14. Cthulhu

    Cthulhu Keyboard Warrior Staff Member


    Let’s hope we can Klingon for a result
  15. domthehornet

    domthehornet Moderator Staff Member

    Going to this, our form will turn!
  16. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    We've got to be beating the likes of these. They're basically a diet Burnley. 5 - 0 to the winners
    I Blame Bassett likes this.
  17. Ágætis Byrjun

    Ágætis Byrjun Reservist

    Any team wanting to stay up would probably look at the table and want to play Watford.

    I'm not sure how we keep selling this so-called "ambition" to our signings, because even a fleeting glance at recent history will tell you that we get to the point of safety and give up.

    We have zero winning mentality and that confuses me.
    hornmeister likes this.
  18. Lloyd

    Lloyd Reservist

    Law of averages says we must score an away goal soon which, coupled with Huddersfield's poor scoring record (except against us), suggests a 0-1 away win. I'd like Huddersfield to stay up.
  19. miked2006

    miked2006 Premiership Prediction League Proprietor

    I didn’t realise Hogg could play in this one. Why aren’t we canny enough to activate the parent club clause?

    He’s clearly the man to watch here. I know he’s a Watford reject, but he’s the only player who is even remotely on Watfords level.

    Hartlepool 4-0. Hogg x4
    wfcmoog likes this.
  20. We will lose. Not worth the trek up there.
    Cthulhu likes this.
  21. 1-0 to udders followed by 1-2 vs palarse. Followed by lots of angry posts assessing whether or not we need any more points to stay up. Its our destiny, written in the stars.
    Burnsy likes this.
  22. Ágætis Byrjun

    Ágætis Byrjun Reservist

    He might be the only person who can actually set up Deeney
    Bloke likes this.
  23. An ex work colleague manages all the IT/tech there. I'll see if I can slip him a £20 to cause an issue which forces the stadium to be evacuated and game abandoned when we are 1-0 down with 10 mins to go. Shame its too late in the year for the easy floodlight failure option to be used.
  24. PhilippineOrn

    PhilippineOrn First Team

    Here's Hogg, Deeeeney (og)
  25. UEA_Hornet

    UEA_Hornet First Team Captain

    I reckon an image of the sun on the big screen should be enough to get the Yorkies all running for cover, after the initial confusion turns to panic and ritualistic sacrifices.
  26. KelsoOrn

    KelsoOrn Squad Player

    If you're a serial visitor to other forums I hope you'll find this one the daftest of the lot. Very little is meant to be taken seriously but there's plenty of sarcasm, hyperbole and satire although some who've had a humour bypass op. struggle to keep up. You will note that the o.p. took the out of us a bit as well as you.

    There's also usually a sub-theme that develops on the matchday thread which has absolutely nothing to do with the match. How about M.P.'s we rate? You could k.o. with Harold Wilson. B.t.w., congratulations on at least mixing it with the big boys this season. Like us. You also have an excellent stadium I believe. Won an architectural award didn't it?
    Last edited: Apr 9, 2018
  27. Cassetti's Beard

    Cassetti's Beard First Team

    Christ, you're trying to emulate us? I feel sorry for you.
  28. I Blame Bassett

    I Blame Bassett Squad Player

    I thought Harold played very well v Eric and Ernie!
    I once handed out a few leaflets for David Evans,he was my benefactor for some years. I found him slightly to the right of the BNP but I thought it polite as he had given me huge wads of cash to bash a ball about!
    He also gave me a book of Loon's League Cup victory. I tore it up and used it as ticker tape!
  29. PhilippineOrn

    PhilippineOrn First Team

    Correct. The 1994 McAlpine Best Sports Arena In Huddersfield was indeed awarded to the Alfred McAlpine Stadium.
    wfcmoog likes this.
  30. Next time do a bit more research about other teams' fora.
    Cthulhu likes this.
  31. Vicarage Road

    Vicarage Road Reservist

    Come on watford
    Cassetti's Beard likes this.
  32. 3000

    3000 Reservist

    That might be the best description of a team I have seen on here
  33. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    Here's Deeney, sent off

    Here's Hogg! Also sent off.
  34. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    And fauna.
    miked2006 and I Blame Bassett like this.
  35. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    It's heartwarming that he is so proud of that Huddersfield accent of his that he uses in every film or interview. Or indeed of the West Riding, choosing to split his time between New York and the Cotswolds.

    Live in Yorkshire? Don't make it so.

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