'Hideous' Shark Attack on Innocent Brit Visitors

Top of the news agenda this morning is this terrible, unprovoked attack by Australian sharks on two British snorkellers who were just trying to enjoy their holiday.

One has lost a foot, whilst the other had a piece of his calf "removed" according to the breakfast news with its 15 minute updates on the situation, including live interviews with worried freckled-nose Aussie tourist reps who give full updates on the pattern of the attack by the deadly beast (it munched one first and then came round and had a nibble on the other apparently).

Earnest studio discussions are held. Why were there no shark chains? How could this be allowed to happen? What sort of impact will it have on the Australian tourist industry.

Oh, both snorkellers survived by the way. Here's live footage of one of them being wheeled in to the hospital on a stretcher. Well, we suppose it's one of them, because one of the ambulance men, instead of helping to treat the injured, has been detailed to shuffle along holding up a big white sheet in front of the trolley.

To protect the patient against nosy gawkers I suppose.

Like us.

 

They were swimming in the shark's home.

caveat emptor.

 

Yeah! But they didn't bite the shark did they, so why should the shark bite them

 

I had to stop and think about this one for a moment, but after due consideration I decided that it could be because it's an apex predator that saw something edible-looking encroaching into its natural environment.

 

Nonsense the ocean is huge so the sharks should be willing to share it without being aggressive, PEACE MAN

 

Feel free to go into their ocean and make your case to them. I'm sure they'll be receptive.

 

When I did my PADI course, they told us if we get a shark warning then go to the sea bed and wait for them to leave. If you try to surface, you're sillhoutted and they'll mistake you for a seal as they attack from underneath.

Of course that's only possible because of the air tanks - snorkelling...get out of the water...fast.

 

Yeah, I’ve snorkelled in the GBR, they taught us that sharks don’t like the taste of humans and only attack or bite out of mistaken identity. Apparently once they feel a bit of human bone in their mouth they realise it’s not quite right and let go.

You have to question why most shark attacks are mostly like this, somebody losses a limb or gets chopped in half, but never actually eaten. Humans are completely defenceless against sharks. Why bite a foot off and then not eat the rest?

Zero sympathy for anyone it happens to, it’s their habitat and mistakes will happen.

 

If you are attacked by a shark, there are several measures you can take to protect yourself.

1. a shark's bite is extremely strong, but only going downward. You can easily hold its mouth closed, and a normal rubber band is enough to secure it shut.
2. Sharks are more scared of you than you are of them. Make as much noise as possible and a shark will usually slither away into the undergrowth, rather than deliberately face a confrontation with a human.
3. Contrary to popular belief, only a tiny percentage of sharks are venomous. Most sharks kill by using their powerful claws to strike their prey in mid air.
4. Sharks will not eat pork, considering it unclean and prohibited by their religion. Impersonate a pig and a shark will leave you alone.
5. Sharks nod their heads to say no and shake them to say yes. Many attacks on humans are as a direct result of confusion around these signals.
6. Most sharks cannot see prey unless it is moving. If you stand absolutely still, you are invisible to them.
7. Sharks are alerted by the colour red and more inclined to charge people wearing this colour. Avoid wearing anything of this hue when you enter their domain.
8. More people die of shark bites than any other animal in the world. This is because of the blood born diseases they carry, such as malaria and yellow fever. Sleep under a net to defend against infection.
9. Whilst most people are worried about a shark's fearsome mouth, it's actually not their most dangerous weapon. More people die from a powerful kick from the shark's forelegs than a bite.
10. The shark's horns, whilst intimidating in appearance are actually more for show and for jousting in competition for mates, rather than for hunting. In fact, more sharks are killed for their horns than kill people with their horns, or something.

Stay safe.

 

Post of the season.