So, it's another international break, and I'm bored already. I was banned from The Three Crowns in Bushey in the late 70's when I was 16. Three of us were on our way to Wembley for a Home International and popped in for a pint. When asked if we were 18, my mate said yes, when quizzed further on what year we were born, my mate (not a natural mathematician to say the least) gave a year that made us 20, not 18 The landlord just looked at us, and said "you're banned, not for being underage, but for being thick. Get out and never come back" I went back for the first time last Summer, lucky for me that landlord isn't there any more!
These days, the fake iDs with which all teens are armed have a handy fake DoB. No need for a memory test or mathematical contortions. I don’t recall being banned but I swore myself not to revisit the pub I visited in north Wales. As the two of us walked in, a complete silence fell on the place. Then they all started speaking loudly, in Welsh. About turn. Highly charged & unpleasant atmosphere in an Edinburgh pub I visited after the rugby. Fortunately, I arrived first & clocked the anti English vibe before I spoke to anyone. This bought me time to assume a neutral American accent, not dissimilar to Peter Griffin. (My autotext gizmo keeps changing American into Amersham. An Amersham accent in that boozer would have been terminal.)
Kelso was too good a customer to ever get barred, despite being the most aggressively insufferable person on the premises.
Don’t worry, bars are full of old ***** with stained slacks who get so pissed that they simply don’t realise when they need a slash. It doesn’t in any way show a lack of intelligence.
TBF to @hornetgags slightly "po-faced" respsonse I too have never been barred. I've been asked to remove my mate (who'd just buried his wife) and bring him back when he's "better"from a pub (Green Dragon B'wood) and I've been refused entrance to a couple (The Eight Bells. Canterbury , and The Foragers/Veralum Arms, Snorbens) for being really, really, "refreshed" but I've never, ever been barred.
Oh god, you're one of those people who gets all flushed in the face after one pint arent you. You have my sympathies.
No, you have my pity if your idea of a 'great night out' is anti social behaviour...safe to say you probably beat your missus after a skin full. She has my sympathies.
My idea of a great night is drinking 8 pints of strong lager and effortlessly weaving pompous prigs into the scenery. I'lll meet you outside the estcourt arms, 2pm, 24 Nov. Bring yer tool (and I don't mean your best mate from computer club. Actually, bring him, and I'll give him a most frightful hiding too).
I have been asked to leave a couple of occasions for being too drunk but not enough of a **** to cause any trouble so never been barred.
Banned from Orchard Country Club in Hazlemere for basically being a pillock at the end of a night and then turning up the following weekend in the same, very noticeable shirt, so was easily spotted. Not my finest hour
Only one I've ever been barred from was a case of mistaken identity. It was in Welwyn Garden - I was dating some punk girl from there at the time. We decided to go for a drink in some pub or other, everything was nice and quiet in the bar, bought our drinks and sat down drinking them for about 15 mins when we were half way down them. Just quietly chatting. Suddenly the landlord (as I later found out) appeared from behind the bar with a snarling great alsatian leaping towards us on the end of its lead and barking ferociously. He started screaming "GET OUT! GET OUT! I'VE BARRED THE REST OF THEM AND NOW YOU'RE BARRED!!" The whole pub was horrified and aghast. We were so taken aback that we meekly left as ordered, with the Alsatian snapping at our heels as we went. There then followed a war of letters (this was before internet) as I wrote to him, the brewers that owned the pub, the licencing authorities and anyone else I could think of. Told them that I was going to oppose the renewal of his licence etc. Their response was that they "could choose to serve who they pleased" and of course I responded to say that I absolutely agreed with that, but they HAD chosen to serve us and that what the landlord couldn't choose to do was to threaten and menace us with assault for no reason whatsoever. It came to light that he'd had 'problems' with a group of punks and having noticed my squeeze's punk stylee dress had convinced himself that we were of the same group. As I remember we did eventually get an apology and an invitation to go back, but we never did.
I've been thrown out of a couple - the Red House in Croxley after we were so battered we lost all the darts and then the barmaid had the misfortune to watch my mate perform fellatio on one of the beer pumps. Also the Nag's Head on Upper Street in Islington for being sick everywhere. The only one I was barred from was the Lancer in Leighton Buzzard. It's much quicker to get to my house if you go out the back gate from the beer garden, but it's locked in the evenings. Not wanting to go the long way round, I kicked it open and we all left that way. We heard a shout from the manager, who had come running out saying "you're barred!", but seeing that there were about 12 of us and not wanting to reduce his profits, added "for 3 months!".
