Everton 1-0 Watford FC - 17/08/2019

Discussion in 'Match Day' started by GoingDown, Aug 13, 2019.


Who wins?

  1. Watford

    27 vote(s)
  2. Everton

    56 vote(s)
  3. Draw

    17 vote(s)
  4. NathWFC

    25 vote(s)
  1. GoingDown

    GoingDown Pizza & Figs

    The Premier League™ presents another rip roaring tie in GAME WEEK 2™ as former giants and now also-rans Everton take on wobbly Watford at the Goodison Park Shed.

    The Premier League™ is made up of 6 teams with all the others simply being meat in the room. The goat fed to the Velociraptor, Rocky vs Mr T (the first fight), that little kid that lasted 10 seconds in The Hunger Games. Most fan bases know this and whilst the delusional amongst the Watford support are a minority, Everton fans and owners live the delusion.


    Everton, oh Everton. The beta male football team from Liverpool. Orbiting their far more successful and illustrious neighbours for so long now, they are the footballing equivalent of being the token fat mate to the pretty one. A sad thing to see. Even sadder that they now consider themselves a rival to little old Watford.

    Watching our results closely, imagining our best players in their dull as dishwater blue kit and even holding an open bus tour lauding the fact that they had appointed a manager that we sacked, This is how far the mighty Everton have fallen. No longer the lions of Europe, they celebrate a point against already relegated Crystal Palace like they did the last time they qualified for the Champions League. Only to go out in the preliminary round to some team from Gibraltar. Always just the wingman, Everton. Always just the wingman.

    With a transfer strategy akin to a beached mermaid screaming 'help me, help me', Everton played the beta male role with aplomb over the summer by signing just about anyone who was interested and being laughed at by the pretty ones. Never has the comment ‘I’m anyone’s after a few drinks’ fit as well into football as to describe today’s Everton..

    Zaha, Doucoure, Welbeck, Rojo and even Santa Claus saw the number dialed was from Liverpool but not the side they wanted. Their highly intelligent fan base spent whole days tweeting such embarrassing hashtags as #FreeZouma to celebrities only to eventually be lumbered with yet another season of Michael Keane. The Everton philosophy of 'If we want them, we will get them' became 'please sir, can I have some more' as they signed former footballer Fabian Delph, a guy who sounds like a watch you wear to check your heart rate and a striker that the big clubs didn't want from Juventus. Over £100m spent, again, and the manager and the fan base still complained. Like the guy that goes home on his own on a Friday night. It's not me, it's them.

    Indeed, it’s very difficult to actually make fun of Everton these days. Most Liverpool related jokes involve men wearing red or a Liverpool shellsuit – poor Everton are never included. An afterthought, the place players go to end their careers, that place Tony Bellew comes from. When you think of The Beatles, you never think of Everton. The best definition is probably to describe them as the Gary Lineker of football teams. He’s always around, you once liked him but now he’s an arrogant cu*t, he likes a good rage against the machine that results in absolutely nothing, is primarily a very expensive comedy figure and in the end, no-one really cares.


    Speaking of already relegated, Watford visit Everton knowing that a sixth consecutive defeat may spell the end for the Spanish Cheshire Cat Javi Gracia. With 18 goals conceded in those defeats, it's clear that the problem is in attack and that we need to switch that up. If that doesn't work, then it's the fullbacks. Hang on, the keeper is past it. Ah, **** it, it’s all Deeney’s fault. VAR cost us the game. All examples of amazing post-match pub bantz, which is what it’s all about at the end of the day.

    Which was proved by the laughable and vitriolic social media campaign by notable groups of Watford fans to have pure blue Everton theme tune ‘The Z-Cars Theme’ reinstated at Vicarage Road following 4 consecutive defeats after it was replaced to upbeat ‘I’m Still Standing’ by singer and man who literally saved the club on two occasions Elton John. Citing a long thought and completely incorrect argument that it’s ‘a curse’ to ‘not ******* have Z-Cars sort it out Gino!!!!’, the club relented and once more the team walked out to the fun singalong tune of ‘The Z-Cars Theme’. The curse was soon lifted as Watford succumbed to their first home defeat on the opening day in 13 years. The bumbling idiots who suggested a curse quickly went into hiding, obviously. Or had a nap.

    Transfer wise this window, Championship Level Craig Dawson was a snip at £5.5m and looks like he's worth every penny after an error strewn pre-season and first game. Danny Welbeck joined as a mascot due to his never ending inability to run and Ismaila Sarr – a bargain £35m, was deemed not able to play football without several weeks of having the good coached out of him – so he may or may not make an appearance against the filth. A desperate attempt to sign ‘Broadway’ Danny Rose failed dismally as the club kept him waiting in the car park and around 128 different linked players were masturbated over and ultimately did not sign. And never were going to.


    With Watford’s squad now actively playing for the coach to leave, it’s difficult to look past a comfortable Everton victory. Everton head coach Marco Silva, generally kept in a basket all week, will be charmed via pungi from his slumber to celebrate his victory over the mighty Watford. Former Watford diving record holder Richarlison will no doubt score again, kissing his badge like he does for every club – making sure the dribbling hordes in the stands take him as one of their own, all the while knowing that he’s one good season away from cleaning Messi’s boots at the Nou Camp.

    Likely Line-ups:-

    Watford – Gomes; Doyley, Eggstrang, Melvang, Hobang; Murray, Hughes, Moralee, Palmer; Mooney, Deeney

    Everton - Foster, Zouma, Cathcart, Kabasele, Holebas; Deloufeu, Doucoure, Capoue, Zaha; Welbeck, Gray



  2. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth Squad Player

    Best. Preview. Ever.
    We will be very fortunate if they allow us to play on their main pitch in their main stadium. I'm sure we'll be required to wear some form of lawn protectors over our boots if they do.
    Supertommymooney and SkylaRose like this.
  3. Happy bunny

    Happy bunny Cheered up a bit

    But we're on the up - 19th on Saturday night, 18th on Sunday night. Man City, we're coming for you!
    Supertommymooney and Ybotcoombes like this.
  4. carboy98

    carboy98 First Year Pro

    In true Watford form I wouldn't be surprised if we rebound from the recent recurring s**tfeasts served up by Javi and the boys and run out 3-1 winners against our arch rivals.

    I hope we see Sarr. Would love to see a change up in formation (3 in the middle anyone? Foster, Kiko Catchart Dawson Holebas, Quina Doucoure Capoue, Sarr Deeney Deulefeu.)

    CM is our strongest position so it makes sense to make the most of it.

    Grim scenes if we limp to a poor defeat
    SkylaRose likes this.
  5. hornetboy1

    hornetboy1 First Team

    We the f*** do we have to play another game? It's just not fair.
    dynamo380, Bwood_Horn and SkylaRose like this.
  6. SkylaRose

    SkylaRose Reservist

    Brilliant. Humor, satire and sarcasm, it had it all. Great write up. The car park quote was genius about Rose too.

    As for the game, it depends on two things. Has Gracia given them a rocket up the rear all week, and regardless of even that, which Watford side will turn up?

    We are more than capable of getting at least a point here. We were so close last season to winning (thanks Kabs). Richarlison will eithef score the winner or a late leveller. I would love us to win, but I just want a decent performance.

    Unfortunatly, we might have to wait a bit longer. I can't see it turning here, but I would love to be proven wrong.

    Slitther's Lot 3 Watford 0
    Supertommymooney likes this.
  7. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth Squad Player

    Will GD be fit ? He was touch and go for BHA and then limped off and had an ice-pack on so must be considered a risk. The pace that he and Sarr offer on the break will be vital away from home. Especially against mahausive clubs like the fudges.
    This in now a must win game.
    3-1 to the caramels.
  8. Cassetti's Beard

    Cassetti's Beard First Team

    Everton 6-0 Watford

    We'll win the flag waving contest though
    Jersey Hornet likes this.
  9. Harrow Orn

    Harrow Orn Squad Player

    Trust me lads. I am really confident about this one.

    Playing away to a team that will attack us, we'll pick 'em off on the break. 3-0 to the mighty 'orns.
    domthehornet likes this.
  10. Burnsy

    Burnsy Squad Player

    Satire and sarcasm? I must’ve missed that as it appeared mainly factual from what I read.

    And Gracia may give them ‘a rocket up the rear’ all week but I dare say with most of them, it goes in one ear and out the other and is then ignored all together when the team-sheet is pinned to the noticeboard and Javi’s Favourites are selected again

    I’d like to see Quina, Sarr, Masina, Janmaat and even bloody Kabasele all come in. But they won’t.

    A defeat is on the cards, with the added bonus of Sarr making his debut as some sort of defensive winger who is asked to play with very little width and goes off at H/T after being kicked all over the place.
    SkylaRose likes this.
  11. I don’t expect to come away with anything - we’ve come back from the summer in a mess and it will take some hard work to put right.

    But providing Gracia shows signs of learning lessons Ill be calm and positive regardless.

    Put out the same tired 4222 hoof to Deeney though and he’ll deserve all he gets.
    SkylaRose and Burnsy like this.
  12. davisp2

    davisp2 Reservist

    I would love us go back to the Quique Sanche Flores formation of 4 6 0, with Deeney on the wing. We take a hard fought 1 0 loss. Gets me excited just thinking about it.
    kVA and SkylaRose like this.
  13. CleyHorn

    CleyHorn First Year Pro

    Strange place for ears really.
  14. Jumbolina

    Jumbolina First Team

    Irrespective of result, the minimum requirement is to see a much hungrier and energetic performance than Saturday. If we don’t see that then the writing it on the wall for Gracia already.
  15. UEA_Hornet

    UEA_Hornet First Team Captain

    If so, the writing will inevitably have to start with "in this moment..."
    SkylaRose likes this.
  16. hornetboy1

    hornetboy1 First Team

    I agree with this, and that can be measured by the stats and well as your own perception. The stats I posted on the Brighton match were appalling from a Watford perspective. We were outgunned in every department, and although the result was a bashing, my perception was that we were a bit closer to them in terms of how we competed. Clearly that was not the case as they beat us in every area.

    You cannot always bridge the gap in quality, but effort and endeavour is something every single player can do something about.

    I expect Everton's quality will be enough to beat Watford on Saturday, but it has to be a more competitive game with a massive improvement in performance from our players.
  17. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth Squad Player

    No more odd than walls and barley ?
  18. Relegation Certs

    Relegation Certs Squad Player

    It's also worth keeping an eye on brightons results. It might just be that they are going to have a decent season and upset a few teams like we did last year. We took wolves apart at their place for example, and they were not expecting that.
    Rozerhorn likes this.
  19. NathWFC

    NathWFC First Team

    Going to be an absolute blood bath.

    8-0 to Everton with Silva tea bagging hopeless wimp Gracia in the middle of the pitch at the final whistle.
    Burnsy likes this.
  20. Horace_goes_up_north

    Horace_goes_up_north First Year Pro

  21. davisp2

    davisp2 Reservist

    Surely it would be fairer if we were allowed to play with a couple of extra men. 13 v 11
  22. Wrecked his Sunday best trakie bottoms.
    EB Hornet likes this.
  23. hornetgags

    hornetgags McMuff's lovechild

    I've decided that when we lose, I stop coming on the forum for a few days, ignore all match reports and ignore social media - then it feels like it never happened.

    So if we lose on Saturday (which I think we will...heavily), I'll see you guys around Xmas.
  24. Necrobutcher

    Necrobutcher Reservist

    This game has 3-0 to Watford written all over it.

    Troy to open the scoring early on, with Del and Gray building on our lead. The previous week's negativity totally forgotten as Silva is once again serenaded with "Javi Gracia, he's better than you..."
    Ybotcoombes likes this.
  25. Grrwood

    Grrwood Reservist

    Looks like we're under no illusions here - Everton should smash us based on Saturday's serving. I don't think they will break top 6 but no question they will battle for best of the rest, and rightly so with the money than have spent. Players like Kean and Richarlison have huge potential and they will undoubtedly make plenty back on them. Their fans can be unbearable but as our lot have little ammo to throw at them this year hopefully the mini rivalry will fade ala Bournemouth.
  26. miked2006

    miked2006 Premiership Prediction League Proprietor

    Who the **** is Watford?!?
  27. barker

    barker Academy Graduate

    I just hope that we put out a team and play a formation that is less predictable ... Silva knows all the weaknesses of our players (I know it doesn't take too much observation) and will really try to inflict maximum damage after all the recent history ... I will be peering at the result from behind the sofa.
  28. miked2006

    miked2006 Premiership Prediction League Proprietor

    I think we'll either win convincingly, or get absolutely battered.

    So I'll go with a draw.
    kVA likes this.
  29. Cthulhu

    Cthulhu Keyboard Warrior Staff Member

    We are not winning convincingly!

    Javi is going to stick to what he knows. Same result.

    We will score 0 or 1 maybe they’ll get 3 at least
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2019
  30. Chumlax

    Chumlax Reservist

    When was the last time anyone can remember Deeney taking an actual shot? IIRC it was somewhere around the end of October 2017?
  31. Saturday I believe.
  32. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    Didn't Dawson have more?

    Straight swap?
  33. Lloyd

    Lloyd Reservist

    I have just read that Everton are the proud holders of the record for the most defeats since the EPL began (365). It would be nice to see the directors of Watford mark this achievement with the presentation of a trophy - perhaps inscribed with the name of the opposition and the date of all 365 beatings - on Saturday.
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2019
    Cthulhu likes this.
  34. Cthulhu

    Cthulhu Keyboard Warrior Staff Member

    One for every day of the year.
    How do we stack up in comparison?
    I’m imagining 120 ish
  35. Cthulhu

    Cthulhu Keyboard Warrior Staff Member

    Let’s hope we can see them into a new year Saturday

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