Eurovision 2019

Discussion in 'Taylor's Tittle-Tattle - General Banter' started by hornmeister, May 8, 2019.

  1. scummybear

    scummybear Reservist

    Hopefully.
     
  2. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    I have to say there were a few half decent songs.
     
  3. hornetboy1

    hornetboy1 First Team Captain

    That's adding insult to injury I'd say.

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-48375560

    The UK had their points lowered from 16 to 11 because of a screw up with Belarus. Still it's not UK's worst performance of all time though.

    2015 you got 5, in 2010 you got 10 and in 2003 you got the famous "nul points"
     
  4. Happy bunny

    Happy bunny Cheered up a bit

    Plucky little Britain bullied again by them foreign jonnies
     
  5. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    For having a **** song in a contest of reasonably high quality.
     
    scummybear likes this.
  6. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    I’m still humming the Norwegian one.
     
  7. UEA_Hornet

    UEA_Hornet First Team Captain

    Whereas our entry is still humming.
     
    Moose likes this.
  8. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth First Team Captain

    Exactly. Fund the NHS instead.
     
  9. Happy bunny

    Happy bunny Cheered up a bit

    Or use the money to build another aircraft carrier. Can't have too many.
     
  10. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth First Team Captain

    OK, I'll bite.
    "...when I knew her...." ??
     
  11. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    A one nighter about 12 years ago.

    Got more sense out of her son.
     
  12. HappyHornet24

    HappyHornet24 Crapster Staff Member

    OK I'll bite.
    ....."A one nighter...."?
     
  13. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    The son was David, the lad from Malawi who she adopted.

    He’d clearly never seen anyone like me before & just stared with his arms folded on arm of my chair.

    He must have been only 3 or 4 but had a calmness entirely lacking in the rest of the entourage.
     
  14. zztop

    zztop Eurovision Winner 2015

    I'm confused, and intrigued.
     
  15. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth First Team Captain

    Ok, I'll have another bite.
    Why?
    Are you 1/3 west Indian, 1/3 Chinese and 1/3 Eskimo ?
    3 legs ?
    Or did he know he was in the company of the guy who'd been asked to cut the chocolate in penguin biscuits ?
     
  16. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    The aim of the forum is not to confound or confuse so, in the spirit of full & frank forum disclosure, let me reveal all.

    I’m not sure the following will quite match the Kelso gold standard - there is no pisco fuelled ultra violence - but let’s plunge in.

    I was flying to NYC about 10 years ago. The lady at BA check in gave a shy smile which, to my seasoned traveller’s eye, meant one thing only.

    Upgrade!

    Having sated myself in the paradise of the First Class lounge, I duly turned left on boarding the plane.

    Whilst the cabin boasted quite a few floppy haired banker types (this may well have been just before the crash), my impression was that this wasn’t going to be a full flight.

    So I buckled up, started attacking the Dom Perignon & generally set the controls to Relax mode.

    Just before the doors were about to be closed, there was something of a commotion & a large group rather briskly entered the cabin. Being in 1A, I couldn’t see any of them but three things were evident: they were loud, American & important.

    Like ZZ, I was confused yet intrigued & craned my ears for clues.

    The entourage was about 10 strong but it was clear that the woman directly behind me was in charge. A movie script was briefly discussed & brusquely dismissed. Plainly below the required standard.

    Likewise there was chat about a book. Conversation then switched to the pleasanter topic of the NYC welcoming party. It was unclear whether Guy would land first.

    Guy?

    I then did what any forumite would do.

    I unbuckled & swivelled round, kneeling on my seat.

    At first I saw nothing but, on lowering my gaze, I noted a diminutive lady with a curtain fringe. Frustratingly, I could not see her face as she looked down.

    Two options.

    Shout ‘Oi’ or make a move for the gents.

    I took the more elegant choice.

    As I returned, I achieved eye contact. The mystery lady was one of only two people.

    Madonna or a prize winning doppelganger.

    Almost drunk on her gaze, I returned to my seat & swiftly started to slumber.

    My doze was broken by a movement to my right. Opening my eyes, I saw a young black kid, arms folded on the arm of my seat, peacefully staring at me.

    Had he never seen a Buckinghamian in the flesh before?

    We chatted. He was David, the person sitting behind me was his mom & the others were her helpers. I was an executive operating in premium/super premium liquor space looking at disrupting the incumbents.

    Sometimes one gets flustered.

    Anyway, later, as we began to disembark, I chatted with one of the assistants.

    And, as the crew gamely held back the rougher element from business class to allow the genteel folk to exit first, we left the plane.

    First assistant number one, then Madonna, then me, David, another assistant, & so on.

    I cleaved through the throng of pointing fingers & strode onto the jetway.

    Anyway, back to now & my flight is about to board. This time I’m in the last row next to the toilets.

    As we enter the long close season, have any other forumites had brushes with the great & good?
     
  17. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth First Team Captain

    I once met the famous "Rookery dad" when I was working as a bouncer for a famous American popstar (can't say who).
     
    Moose likes this.
  18. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth First Team Captain

    So did you at least get a snog ? Kelso's stories were more exciting.
     
    kVA likes this.
  19. Knight GT

    Knight GT Predictor extraordinaire 2013/14

    I was once mistaken for a well known American pop star on a flight. This person introduced himself as Rookery Dad. He was a complete gentleman and never even tried for a snog
     
    HappyHornet24 likes this.
  20. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    Your avatar does look familiar.
     
    HappyHornet24 and Knight GT like this.
  21. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    Madge & I are spicing it up for the movie script.
     
  22. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    He didn’t live a PG 13 lifestyle.
     
  23. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    I once had a similar experience in being mistaken on a plane as part of the entourage of a major recording act. They were one of the world’s leading turns of 1978. I was sitting near them and as the plane hit turbulence I led the whooping and cheering.

    As I left the plane a kindly official asked me to step this way with the band. Oh those Russians.
     
  24. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth First Team Captain

    Ok, I'll bite.
    Which band ? The dooleys?
     
  25. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    Badly remembered Led Zeppelin track.
     
  26. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    Not fit to shine this band's knee-length sparkly boots.
     
  27. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    He was her fourth husband.
     
    The undeniable truth likes this.
  28. zztop

    zztop Eurovision Winner 2015

    I got in the lift at the Midland Hotel in Manchester about 20 years ago. It was one of those lifts with two sets of doors and I stood facing the doors I knew would open up when I reached reception. A couple of people got in behind me, and we carried on going down.

    When the doors opened I stepped into the reception area and was hit by a mass of camera flashes from photgraphers, shouting reporters and a TV crew. So I did what any man would do first, and checked my flies, then after realising it wasn't me, turned round to see Mike Tyson's neck.

    Jeeez, he has a thick neck!

    He was over for a fight, apparently.

    My encounter with Tyson lasted about half a minute, only marginally less than his opponent I think (I can't remember his name).
     
    Moose, HappyHornet24 and RookeryDad like this.
  29. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    Joy Division?
     
  30. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    Boney M?
     
    The undeniable truth and Moose like this.
  31. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    Village People?
     
  32. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    Not Joy Division, though they would have enjoyed the up and down of a turbulent airplane ride.

     
  33. PhilippineOrn

    PhilippineOrn First Team

    Think you'll find that was Boney M.
     
    RookeryDad likes this.

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