Death

Considering how important it is, and how everyone has to do it, no one ever talks about it.

How don't you want to check out? Falling from a building is my nightmare end. Drowning would be surprisingly ok by me.

 

My grandad went off to get something from the kitchen and they heard a loud thump and that was his lot. Just collapsed and died at a fine and ripe old age.

That's how I'd like to go I reckon. One minute OK, the next, brown bread.

 

Yep. Live as long as you are healthy and happy. Then go quickly and painlessly.

That's got to be the best all of us can hope for.

If I know I'm in for a long, painful and drawn out ending, I shall be flying to Switzerland one way, without hesitation.

 

I hope I'm never too adventurous and have my final moments during an asphyxiwank

 

Slowly and painfully.

 

I've never died before and I think I've missed my chance. It probably won't happen now as I'm far too old.

 

To meet Behrami?

 

In my sleep & in my own bed.

Or ideally, someone else’s.

 

12 months after we win the league and cup double, not a minute before. No compromise.

 

The salmon mousse.

 

Have you come about the hedge?

 

I’ve died on many occasions as I’ve had numerous lives. I know this because I once had a regression session. I last died by unfortunately drowning in the Mediterranean somewhere in the south of France

 

Did you always support Watford in previous lives?

Can you inherit a season ticket from yourself?

 

You should never have got on that people smuggler's boat.

 

Anytime after we've got relegated from the PL, having won the league cup will be ok.

 

If so, you can legitimately say “look how far we’ve come”.

 

This is my one and only life as an ‘Orns supporter, I’m coming back as a glory supporter next time! Haha

 

You will have earned it.

 

How do you know ?
You may find yourself a Dundee Utd fan due to dishonouring the football gods!

 

Always assuming that Brexit allows flights? Or are you off before the end of March?

 

Good point. Perhaps I'll go now to beat the rush. I'm sure @zztop will give me a lift.

 

The Sun being eaten by a black hole is top of my list, Saturn used to be a sun, dunno what happened to it though.

 

I want to live long but then have dramatic music and a noble end. I'm thinking Alec Guinness in Starwars or William Defoe in Platoon.

 

Being a Watford fan must take a fair few years off of your life expectancy.

 

According to the death notices on Radio Kerry (and Shannonside too) there's only two ways to die
Peacefully or suddenly.

 

I can think of several worse football-supporting penances

 

Only Highgrade and his family can do this. In fact Highgrade is his own father’s father.

 

I’d like to go out surprised

 

I imagine heaven may be like that webcam of the SEJ going up.

Overall good but slightly pedestrian & irritating.

 

There are definitely those families which are really just one person who is continually rebooted.

I’m no biologist but I suspect the Rednapps may be one such.

 

Death related but more to how it affects the living:

Memorial benches seem to be popping up everywhere. I often take my dog out to leave a stinking big doo doo in the great British countryside and as I follow the path, I’m let upwards until I reach the top of the hill. Presented with a pleasant view I decide that it’d be nice to sit down. Behold, I spy a bench, a perfect spot. But as I approach I see that it has a dedication plaque to Gentle Gertrude or My Darling Maude or something like that. Apparently she loved this view. Well, I can see that it is a very nice view, in fact I’d like to enjoy it for myself but now I know it’s YOUR memorial bench I can’t possibly sit down on it. I’d feel like I’m sitting on somebody’s grave.

Worse still, some of the benches have a bunch of drooping, rotting flowers tied to them - Now that means that the death of this person was recent or still being mourned.

Some places have long rows of benches, probably where some council bod has realised that there is money to be made. Surely this is what cemataries and graveyards are for? So that we don’t clutter up every inch of the country with memorials. From the dog walkers vs sports pitch thread, we all know that the countryside should be cluttered with disguarded rubbish, dog dough and fox scat.

What is the etiquette here? My dog seems to know, he’s been sniffing around it while I ponder this question, and now, as a sweet elderly couple approach, he decides to pee up it and I decide to walk briskly on.

 

My beloved (obese, smoker, all food cooked in dripping and drank pints of bacardi* and coke with teaspoons of sugar in to "...get rid of the bubbles...") grandad had a(nother) minor heart attack (silent ischemia) and, luckily as he was in the betting shop** with a retired pharmacist at the time, was rushed to the local A&E. The clinical team monitoring him wanted him kept in overnight for observation and made the decision to take him off all his medication (I think it was *at least* 5 different drugs - those were the days!). He awoke the following morning and was being helped out of his bed and lowering himself into his chair for breakfast when he started to happily tell the nurses: "That's the best night's sleep I've ever h..." he didn't get to finish the sentence as he had a "massive" myocardial infarction that killed him before his arse hit the seat's cushion.

*Amusingly my spellcheck suggest changing this to "cardiac".
**He was what we would call a gambling addict (a conservative family estimate was that the other side of £500K went to the bookies) and just had a "yankee" come in.

 

I presumed (perhaps wrongly) that those providing the memorial also paid for the bench. So, not a question of councils making money, but of providing a facility (a place to sit and ****) which would otherwise not have existed at all.

 

Maybe the councils do let people put benches in these places without charge but that doesn’t help the angst I feel when deciding whether or not to sit on them.