Death Penalty

Discussion in 'Taylor's Tittle-Tattle - General Banter' started by Relegation Certs, Dec 6, 2018.

  1. Relegation Certs

    Relegation Certs Squad Player

    Just seen some berk in america has been sentenced to death, and gets to choose the method of his demise.

    Gas chamber, leccy chair, lethal injection, hanging or firing squad. He plumped for electric chair.

    It's a tough one. My head says lethal injection, but it feels a bit meek and cowardly. My heart says electric chair - go out in a fiery blaze of glory. Or maybe the bloody spectacle of a firing squad.

    Which method would you pick, and why?
     
  2. PhilippineOrn

    PhilippineOrn Squad Player

    Old age. Is that an option?
     
  3. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth Squad Player

    Having watched "The Green Mile", I wouldn't pick the lecky chair.
     
  4. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    I'd take being hanged, drawn and quartered, because I'm not a pussy.
     
  5. Relegation Certs

    Relegation Certs Squad Player

    Makes me proud to be british, reading that.

    Thank you.
     
  6. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    I'll smile as they emasculate me and cut out my intestines and whistle God Save the Queen.
     
  7. another_mrlizard

    another_mrlizard Squad Player

    I'd like to be tied to a railway line, or forced to eat Wetherspoons "food"
     
  8. Codling Grinder.
     
  9. If he was in N Korea, he could have chosen anti-aircraft gun.
     
  10. Lloyd

    Lloyd Reservist

    Reminds of the Woody Allen line from, I think, Love and Death... "I'm facing the firing squad at 08.00 tomorrow morning. It was supposed to be 06.00, but I had a good lawyer"
     
  11. kVA

    kVA Reservist

    Choosing the favoured method of execution? What sort of crack pot, lily-livered, lefty country sets this rule? Don’t give the scumbag any choice at all, let the victim or their family chose. Can’t beleive Trump allows this insanity.
     
  12. StuBoy

    StuBoy Forum Cad and Bounder

    I'd prefer it if you shouted out FREEDOM whilst they did that please.
     
  13. Keighley

    Keighley Reservist

    The Wham! hit record?
     
  14. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    Are you saying we go to plan B?

     
  15. UEA_Hornet

    UEA_Hornet First Team Captain

    Surely there's no competition? Guillotine all the way.
     
  16. StuBoy

    StuBoy Forum Cad and Bounder

    If I had to go in a non-peaceful way, I've always fancied being absolutely obliterated in a massive explosion.
     
  17. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    You can't even fit a finger under the plastic guide to align the paper for a straight edge, let alone deliver a fatal blow. Probably easier with a stapler.
     
    RookeryDad and UEA_Hornet like this.
  18. WillisWasTheWorst

    WillisWasTheWorst First Year Pro

    Death by hole punch please.
     
    RookeryDad likes this.
  19. Arakel

    Arakel First Team

    Lethal injection is a pretty nasty way to go, actually. The cocktails frequently go wrong and the condemned has suffered for multiple hours in some cases, able to feel the entire thing.

    Firing squad is the messiest, but probably the least painful and least likely to go wrong overall.
     
  20. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth Squad Player

    Messy isn't a problem if YOU don't need to clear it up. In fact it's like scoring the last goal in injury time to only lose 6-1.
     
  21. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    One like for Lloyd, two for Woody.
     
  22. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    Careless Whisper, surely.

    I doubt, when being eviscerated, you could muster more than a whisper & I bet you wouldn’t care less.
     
  23. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    With a particularly long & chewy baguette as the entree.
     
  24. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    I don’t recommend the hole punch.
     
  25. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    Willis, you edged me out by 3 hours.

    Our epigrammatic Usain Bolt.
     
  26. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    Remember to keep the basement door locked when you have visitors.
     
  27. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    A comforting analogy & a happy nod to our friends at Muff.
     
  28. another_mrlizard

    another_mrlizard Squad Player

    I've changed my mind.

    Donkey punch.
     
  29. Meister

    Meister Meister

    Choking on my own vomit after passing out due to a massive boozing session.
     
  30. I Blame Bassett

    I Blame Bassett Squad Player

  31. Bring Back Standing

    Bring Back Standing First Year Pro

    If he was in England, and JRM had his way, he could have been strapped to the business end of a canon.

    Personally I'd go for death by rum - preferably Bundaberg rum, and lots of it.
     
  32. hornetboy1

    hornetboy1 First Team

    We never get penalties, so this thread doesn't really apply to us.
     
    Cthulhu and kVA like this.
  33. Optimistichornet

    Optimistichornet Penguin Assassin

    Definitely firing squad with a blindfold on and a cigar hanging out of the corner of my mouth.
     
  34. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    Plenty of good Filipino rum. No need for a beeline to the Aussie stuff.
     
  35. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    Who to whistle?

    Both parties?
     

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