Dating Advice Needed

Ok we all remember the glory days of Simms on this forum, and the legendary thread on his quest to lose his virginity. Now I'm sorry to disappoint you but I'm not a 29 year old virgin, I actually have a pretty good sex and social life but I have a bit of a conundrum.

To put you in the loop. About 18 months I signed up for an opportunity to spend six months in Canada as a ski instructor. At the time it seemed a long way away, and I still had multiple interviews and visa issues to get past. I am now two and a bit months away from my trip, with everything paid and sorted. Perfect.

For the last 18 months I have been involved in a steady series of semi-serious short term relationships with nice girls, but none who I have really considered long term dating material. Anyway I have now been on a couple of dates with this girl I just met online. I had left my Match account alone for a while, and I got a random message from this lass, and we got chatting before agreeing to meet up. It turns out she is bloody perfect for me, sods bloody law right.

Now being a nice gentlemanly kind of chap I need to tell her at some point that I'm going to Canada for six months, however at the moment everything is going well and we get on like a house on fire. We have not slept together yet, and I couldn't do that without telling her about Canada. At the same time I like her and would still like to get to know her better over the coming months.

Thoughts on a postcard please.

 

Tell her right away what you have planned and that it was all set up before you met. Also tell her how you feel about her and that you don't want to end your relationship, but that you know you would always regret it if you did not go to Canada.

Tell her you want to continue your relationship when you get back that is if you do want to of course, or maybe you could ask her to come with you, or at least to come over there to see you for a holiday or two while you are there.

You could of course lose her straight away if you tell her now, but in the long run would that not be better than stringing her along. However, if she feels the same way about you as you seem to about her, she might just agree to come with you, or if she can't commit to that she just might be willing to wait till you get back.

 

6 months is nothing. For some people that's like 2 or 3 dates, or it used to be. Everyone seems to be in a rush these days.

As TVOR said. Tell her immediately. Enjoy the time now and invite her out there for a week or 2.

 

Exactly. If it's meant to be it'll work, and if it isn't it won't. 6 months will fly past if you're busy, and with email/web cams/VOIP living halfway across the world from someone isn't the barrier it used to be.

Invite her to come and stay with you for a bit while you're over in Canada if you think it's going somewhere. Turn that 6 months into an opportunity, not an obstacle.

 

To me what you've written in your post explains it perfectly, just tell her exactly that. If she feels the same as you she'll wait. But tell her asap, the later you leave it the more chance she'll see it as deceptive.

Good luck.

Sent from my Pixel using Tapatalk

 

Wow I seem to have created forum unity. Thanks for the advice all, I will let you know how I get on.

 

My mate spent 3 years in Sicily after he murdered a police captain and a drug smuggler, waiting for the heat to die down.

When he got back he still married Kay Adams and took over the Corleone family.

 

My ex didn't wait for me when I spent one night in jail for being drunk and disorderly.

 

just LOL if you think she wont be reversing onto someone else's trumpet before your flight to canada has even landed.

 

ahhh well her loss, she would be downsizing from a bass trombone though!

 

yer but the waiting rooms at police stations are so uncomfortable.

 

But they turned legitimate within 5 years right? Right?

 

Will you be telling her that you wanted to see how many of the American girls and soccer moms, who cross the border to ski, you could plow through in 6 months?

 

Aren't this skiing things usually just 6 months of partying and shagging?

 

I might not tell her that bit.

 

That was the idea.

 

Haven't slept together yet?

I'd mug this one off and smash as much Canadian moose as you can find in 6 months.

If she's still waiting when you're back, maybe review matters.

 

Indeed.

I would strongly urge him to "sausage the back out of" this one before he goes too. I cannot fathom why he wouldn't.

 

If she’s the one I’d invite her over for a couple of weeks of your 6 month. What’s the worst that could happen, she gets a cheap holiday and you get to spread some std’s


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

Ascertain if you’re sexually compatible first, then come back for more advice.

 

Excellent analysis of the socio, political & economic impact of the rise of online dating in last week’s Economist.

One nugget.

Hetro chaps typically are fine with 60% of the ladies they see on a site, the ladeez swipe only 6% of the gents.

Or, the least sort after woman gets the same interest as the most sort after male.

Could explain the existence of online football forums.

 

On occasion, it’s the other forms of compatibility which are the issue for chaps.

 

Lol, all the geeky single virgins on this thread hiding behind their desktops giving womanising tips like a bunch of keyboard Don Juans!

 

OK Opti have you told her yet?

 

Shag her after a very romantic night.

Then go to Canada. She’ll have built you up into some kind of god before you return.

 

True. But he still needs to shag her.

 

Wrong Don

 

Unless you show yourself to be a complete novice....just imagine the pressure....just one chance to impress....it's all or nothing....the future Mrs Opti....
So, no pressure - enjoy !!

 

As Gracia says to Will Hughes each match: 'Just express yourself.'

Before adding: 'And stick it in the box.'

 

I think you should propose to her before your flight and if shes says yes stick the ring on her big toe.

 

What a splendid expression!
Did you hear William Rees Mogg say this?

Here's another!
What an educator you are proving to be Relegation!
Good luck Opti,whichever you elect to do!

 

Right the update. Took a while but I did tell her yesterday evening. It actually went pretty well and she doesn’t mind. I basically said things are going well but this has been planned for a long time, and she took it in her stride. Got another date planned on Thursday.

 

With the same girl ?

 

I hope you had not done the deed before telling her, or did you?

 

What hill are you heading to? if its lake louise or sunshine in banff I will see you here.
If your living at a ski hill,the drinking cultures pretty crazy and you will have plenty of distractions