One time, I was an undercover spy in Russia working for a double double agent for the KGB. I had to hunt out a particularly foxy female agent who had the time code secrets to the worlds nuclear arsenal . She was threatening to blow the world up until I luckily managed to seduce her whilst simultaneously removing the trigger bug from the inside of bra where it was deviously hidden. Luckily I managed to work my way back to UK via my secret underground network of spy contacts , and was in The Horns for 4.45 to celebrate a particularly poignant draw away to Mansfield. I feel so privleaged to have been given the opportunity to express my genius in such a humble and life affirming way.
Big cup final for the plastics on Saturday afternoon, biggest game they'll have at home all season, their biggest game will be us away. We really should be polishing off little poxy sides like Chelsea by 3 or 4 MINIMUM, just incase the places come down to goal difference. They got two very lucky and very unexpected results last season in tight games, but we had Manzari in charge who Cante just loves to beat, so it was HUGE for them. Can't see anything other than another away day masterclass as we dispatch this lot 4-0. They'll have nothing left to play for after Saturday and lost to us.
That is a very convoluted summary of his comments. I wouldn’t say he was dismissive, merely pointing out, accurately, that wins over saints, muff and swans do not compare to Chelski. Also his comment about Arsenal is almost backing what Deeney said about them. Chelsea have far more of a backbone even if they have shipped one or two goals of late.
You chaps carry on like Baileys was the only Irish cream liqueur in town. Well, it’s not. Ever experienced Coole Swan? Premium! It’s Isaac all over.
Exciting, though. I was bringing in Absolut vodka, Chivas Regal & other like minded refreshments. (Was taking a pause from ICLs.) Getting hold of import licenses was the tricky part. The only official source was ... Yeltsin’s tennis coach. He was Customs & Excise for the year. Cleared $1bn. The key business ratio was what proportion of brand sales were genuine. Absolut was rarely above 10%. I was kidnapped once but I managed to intimidate my kidnapper into taking me back to where he’d grabbed me. I think he just misunderstood my grovelling, panicked & flew back to base. Anyway, this makes me think of Richie Boy. Did Bellerin brush against the pistol in his sock? Watch City of God/Men to get the vibe.
Even though it's childish of me and probably incredibly bourgeois, I'm not old enough to have been active in those post Glasnost times even if circumstances had placed me there, but I do find that an extremely fascinating time. My Dad has told a similar story or two from business trips there at the same time, and it just seems like a kind of transplanted Wild West. It's probably like depictions of the glory of war in art and film, looking cool and heroic until you have to experience it yourself, but I remain fascinated by the period.
Why do people even bother clicking on his page? He's still living in an age where Watford are minnows and Liverpool are world beaters. A lot has changed in 30 years.
Does John Terry still play for Chelsea, or does he just turn up for every match in full kit that his mum has ironed and try to get in team photos?
I was about to make a quip that Godfather hacked your account but unfortunately he’s already ruined the gag by posting his own stories of guards pointing rocket launchers at him as he was busy sowing his wild oats and exiting by the hotel elevator shaft.
Walking home from work once I dodged a shoe that was thrown across the road. It had been launched by a young "lady" who was breaking up with her boyfriend as he was loading their television into the back of his car. She apologised and asked If I'd like to come in as I looked like a real man. The boyfriend looked displeased, I politely declined. Chelsea 2-1 Watford
Wild west is a perfect description. I've travelled and worked in many countries in my time and only two places have really scared the carp out of me: taking a wrong turn in downtown Detroit at night, and Russia during glasnost.
Too true about Detroit. That place scared me more than the time I hitched out of Beirut during the Lebanese civil war.
Downtown anywhere in the United States at night is going to be scary. I can vouch for downtown Atlanta, Memphis and San Diego being similarly dodgy. I felt safer in Nicaragua or El Salvador than I did in many parts of the USA.
Someone pulled a knife on me once, in broad daylight, in the middle of Northwood High Street. The bloke asked me for money and I said he could instead have some of my chips, but that they were cold. “Do I look like I want your chips fam” was the response, alongside a threatening dagger wave, as his mate pulled him back. I learnt something that day. Always finish your chips before they get dangerously cold.
To translate it into the language of our era Jumbo, think of it as being the equivalent of "Daddyo".....
Six shooter and no elevator, unfortunately the only way out was through the lobby. You're right about the oat's though, they got sowed real good. All I remember about the girl was that she was fit as f*ck and her old man owned a farm in Antrim. She also said Northern Irish blokes have little ****s, I have no idea if that's true
When we played Chelsea in the late '70s or very early '80s we had a late penalty which Ian Bolton took. Just before he ran up a Chelsea bonehead who had infiltrated the Vicarage Road end said to my brother "if he scores you get this". It was a pen* knife but Bolton took the weakest penalty,especially given his velocity and Barotra (?) saved with ease. *Appropriately enough!
I went to see us play Chelsea away on Saturday 1st November 1986 and it was a 0-0 draw. One of 'those' 0-0 draws with no shots and no excitement and no nothing. The end where we were was open to the elements and it rained solidly for the whole game. Then afterwards they kept us behind for about an hour in the freezing piddling rain. We sang "let us out, let us out" but they wouldn't. Could have got a very nasty chill from that.
The headhunters in the 70's/80's were real nasty c*nts, stanleyed a lad from round my way just for fun. I often played golf with the landlord of a pub they all used (the white hart or horse I think) out Ruislip way, he said I'd be ok but there's no way I'd have gone back there.
Back on the topic of football... Before the West Brom game I said it would be a draw going on previously we'd won in 15/16, lost in 16/17 The same with Swansea away, we'd drawn in 15/16, lost in 16/17, so a win was on the cards for 17/18 Guess what. In 15/16 we drew at Chelsea, in 16/17 we lost to them, so going on this season's pattern, we'll blooming win!!
White Bear on the roundabout? Had a bit of a drug reputation in my day. Now it's a gentrified restaurant.
aye those headhunters are viscous bastards. I once went in there and asked for a short back and sides and came out with a mohican. Bullied for months at school as a result.
