And I've been doing it 18 months, man and boy. I thought I'd start this thread to document experiences and perhaps it will be of interest to somebody. I will need to be careful of privacy and identity of course and so will use false names. I want to start off with a tribute to my great friend "rude grandad". A terrific fella. Passed away from colon cancer aged 94 this week. On a bed in his front room, nice and comfortable with his wife by his side. He was a big stout white bearded man who was born in the Indian Raj and went to school there. I think he was 'something' in the Indian army, but he never talked much about that part of his life. He talked more about his time playing clarinet in a jazz band and I saw his old newspaper clippings from the local papers where they'd played. That's also where he met his jazz chic wife, who is the same one who saw him off. He was 8 years older than her. Anyway, the reason he didn't talk much about his past was that he was too busy being rude. Properly rude. He knew he could get away with it, because he had 'dementia'. I sometimes wonder how much dementia and how much badness. Example: pensioners singing circle in the Methodist hall. Christian lady with glasses and a guitar trying to pretend not to notice that every chorus of 'she'll be coming round the mountain when she comes' was interspersed with rude grandad yelling UP YER BUM! at top volume from his wheelchair. Then at the end, his wife would get his case of harmonicas out (8 different ones) and he'd play something like Stranger on the Shore beautifully and with a feeling. All through the visits (up, toilet,shower, d dry, cream, teeth, down into armchair - 45 mins) we spent joking and laughing and singing. He'd always pretend to put his shirt on back to front and when we go downstairs, me with the bag of rubbish, he'd say "I'm going to jump!" and I'd say "go on then" and so the weeeee pop thing, where you flick the bag with your fingers. Well it was funny for us. Top, top man. He lived a full and happy life. I shall miss him greatly.