C4 Dispatches - Prince Andrew

Discussion in 'Taylor's Tittle-Tattle - General Banter' started by Clive_ofthe_Kremlin, Oct 24, 2019.

  1. Clive_ofthe_Kremlin

    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin Squad Player

    When this queen dies, we should wind it up. The royals. They're an embarrassment

    Keep one if you want, but make it only £25k a year and no palaces or jets or anything. 40 hour week entertaining the tourists. Should be able to unicycle and juggle. All royal lovers will still have someone to bow and curtsey to, so everyone wins.

    Open up all the palaces for tourists. Make the lands into common land which cannot be bought or sold ever in the future.

    Nobody could be interested in keeping this bunch of expensive toffs in millionaire finery and young girls could they?
  2. Happy bunny

    Happy bunny Cheered up a bit

    So who is the ideal figurehead to represent our nation, or what's left of it? President Boris? Corbin? Ant? Dec? Cilla is no longer available, so Olivia?

    In my view anybody who wants to be head of state should be ineligible, which is why I still favour somebody trapped at random by accident of birth and who has known for his or her entire life what they're in for.
  3. Arakel

    Arakel First Team

    I think I've seen every country with an elected Head of State have someone serving in that role bring embarrassment down on their country at some point.

    Liz hasn't done that to us.

    If Andrew (or any other Royal) is guilty of something then fine, prosecute him. They should be held accountable by the law, too (including Phillip running his car into people). No need to throw out the baby with the bath water, though. Far better to have a head of state who has been groomed for the ceremonial role since birth than Donald Trump, then Donald Trump Jr., then Ivanka Trump...
    iamofwfc and Happy bunny like this.
  4. CleyHorn

    CleyHorn Reservist

    President David Attenborough. I rest my case.
  5. Arakel

    Arakel First Team

    You really think you'd get him rather than something closer to President Jade Goody (sorry, not up on the latest UK reality TV "stars")?
  6. WillisWasTheWorst

    WillisWasTheWorst Its making less grammar mistake's thats important

    President Boris Johnson? Oh, wait....
  7. Hornpete

    Hornpete Squad Player

    Mix love island with x factor and bear grylls.

    "Kings and Queens survival island".

    The island is the UK and everyone enters. You have to kill a caiman to get the crown.
  8. Or Frankie Boyle ?
  9. Happy bunny

    Happy bunny Cheered up a bit

    King of Scotland, so not elegible
  10. cyaninternetdog

    cyaninternetdog Forum Hippie

    Kathy Burke.
  11. soton_orn

    soton_orn Reservist

    I’ll go one further and say change the national anthem. I don’t believe in god, I don’t want a queen and frankly, it could put an insomniac to sleep. Land of hope and glory or Jerusalem please.
  12. Carpster

    Carpster Reservist

    Ask the Aussies if they'll swap Rolf Harris for the lot of them.
  13. another_mrlizard

    another_mrlizard Squad Player


    "God who made thee mighty, make thee mightier yet......."

    "And was the holy Lamb of God on England's pleasant pastures seen?........the countenance devine..." The whole bloody song is about whether Jesus visited England and had a look round Bluewater.

    I think you've fallen at the first hurdle there, old Fruity.

    Maybe "Yellow" by Coldsick?
  14. soton_orn

    soton_orn Reservist

    You raise a valid point, but this is a gradual process. I’d get lynched by the daily fail brigade for being a terrorist sympathizer if I went about suggesting the Sex Pistols
  15. Old England by the Waterboys.
    Maninblack likes this.
  16. CleyHorn

    CleyHorn Reservist

  17. Happy bunny

    Happy bunny Cheered up a bit

    Do we really want a rugby song as our National Anthem?

    As Cley has pointed out, there's a compelling argument for Z-Cars, once Clive has written the words
  18. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    England are the one for me, the greatest country in histor-history.
    Cthulhu likes this.
  19. Happy bunny

    Happy bunny Cheered up a bit

    Obviously England is the greatest country ever, but Z-Cars represents the greatest team the world has ever seen. NO, NOT THAT ONE!!!
  20. Hornpete

    Hornpete Squad Player

    We should unite the UK with a new anthem.

    God save our brexit plans
    Unite us in harmony
    Thistles are wonderful
    So are the sheep
    Shamrocks are beautiful
    Leeks, pasties and haggis too
    Hoist up the pork pie.

    Der der der der der.

    Send immigrants home again
    These white cliffs are our histor-history
    Respect the poppy or else
    We've got the best queen.

    Fits perfectly to Z cars.

    And all other countries should change their anthems to whistles with a few boos just to see the confusion on england fans faces.
    HappyHornet24 and Filbert like this.
  21. Bwood_Horn

    Bwood_Horn Squad Player

    I've always thought The The's "Perfect" would be a cool anthem...

    Lyrics here.
  22. UEA_Hornet

    UEA_Hornet First Team Captain

    A tin of BBC whitewash has been found in the shed and put to use this weekend:

  23. cyaninternetdog

    cyaninternetdog Forum Hippie

    She be dead boy.
  24. lm_wfc

    lm_wfc Squad Player

    Now - lets not judge until tomorrow - the BBC are well know for their hard line of holding famous open-secret paedophiles to account.
  25. UEA_Hornet

    UEA_Hornet First Team Captain

    Now then, now then. I’m sure they won’t fix it for Andy.
    Bwood_Horn and Arakel like this.
  26. Bwood_Horn

    Bwood_Horn Squad Player

    The 16/17 YO 'woman' thing is a bit of a red herring - if it happened either in the Sates (or with a US citizen?) isn't that Statutory Rape which is not covered by any statue of limitations and is a federal offence with some quite stringent mandatory sentencing?
    Last edited: Nov 17, 2019
  27. Bwood_Horn

    Bwood_Horn Squad Player

    Someone else coming forward:


    Also aren't a ream of stuff/depositions by/about, the currently missing, Ghislaine Maxwell (I hope they don't tarnish her good family name too much) being released soon?
  28. Filbert

    Filbert Leicester supporting bloke

    I wonder how they’ll bump him off and make it look like an accident.
    The undeniable truth likes this.
  29. Cthulhu

    Cthulhu Keyboard Warrior Staff Member

    think he is too high profile now. More likely some of the victims or others will commit suicide that Maxwell woman for instance
  30. UEA_Hornet

    UEA_Hornet First Team Captain

    My bet is it’ll turn out he’s an imposter and the real Prince Andrew has been a POW in Argentina all these years.

    Wait, Simpson’s already did it. Damn.
  31. Filbert

    Filbert Leicester supporting bloke

    Well now I’m just picturing the Queen shouting ‘Seymour!’
    Keighley and UEA_Hornet like this.
  32. WillisWasTheWorst

    WillisWasTheWorst Its making less grammar mistake's thats important

    Remember when he was known as Randy Andy...?
  33. CleyHorn

    CleyHorn Reservist

    Is Seymour a corgi?
  34. WillisWasTheWorst

    WillisWasTheWorst Its making less grammar mistake's thats important

    Butts of this parish?

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