Things you hate III

Lived there for 16 years in a previous life, 1990 to 2006. Vaguely remember that pub - backed onto a lake and nature reserve ?

 

No, next to the library at the end of the high st

 

Even better, ignore it totally. Enforced romance is not romantic in the slightest. Any flowers, special meals out, cards etc are pandering to rip-off merchants playing on people's emotions.

 

Fecking online catalogues that have small versions looking as big as large versions. Recently I’ve bought sunflower oil in a bottle that contained about a thimbleful and lightbulbs the size of a button mushroom.

My wife has tried to explain it to me in a similar terms to this.

 

Fat people in "The Voice" audience who make that "pressing the button" action for every. bl**dy. act. Try pretending to eat some cake instead.

 

The LTA.
In May 2018 one of our committee attended an 'Open Doors' workshop promoting disability tennis.All very laudable and the club were promised £200 and some equipment, if we completed a feedback form.
Remi,who attended, duly completed said form and two weeks ago the equipment arrived but still no £200.
I contacted the Tennis Foundation's david Harriman early January ( assume 'That's Life' voice),who took the course.
He passed me to Matt Grover,who passed me to the finance department who sent a holding email and nothing else.
58 emails and two telephone calls later it transpires that the money has been paid into an account, but not ours.They had the wrong account number.
I spoke to Sycophantic Steve at The NTC this morning who had the temerity to imply that I should have chased it sooner.All whilst listening to Vivaldi's 'Four Seasons'. Very apposite given it's taken that length of time almost to secure the money!
Given that we raised the 100k needed for our two court dome ourselves, as the federation said we weren't a good enough prospect,we need this promised cash,at least until membership fees are due in April.
James,in finance,who sounded 8,assured me the money would be in the next pay run and arrive by Friday.
Mr IBB has asked "which Friday?"
This,on the anniversary of the safeguarding issue involving a Herts coach,which has yet to be resolved and has seen the president,Martin Corrie, step down and yet to be reinstated.
Utterly shambolic.

 

The small talk, matey preamble to every FA Cup draw. Zzzzzz. Who gives a fark about what it was like playing for Chelsea 15 years ago?

 

I hate the bout of hiccups I have at the moment. A particularly violent one has just put my back out and now I get a sharp pain every 10 secs as the bout of hiccups continues.

 

Maybe 2 Duke pubs in Twyford?

 

Treat ‘em mean to keep ‘em keen.

 

Infuriating but I would question your email:call ratio.

3 emails then the ‘there’s 2 ways to this’ call, I would suggest.

Your tv celebrity & connection with the class Reptilia will help hugely here.

 

Why has the stapler run out of staples just when you need one?

 

'Assemble your own Terminator/Battleship/Ferrari' kits with bits coming with weekly magazines. Introductory issue £1.99.
Normal price £8.99 per issue.
120 issues for completion
So that model will actually cost £1,078.80.
And you'll give up when you are £200 in.

 

1071.80.

 

Forgot the discounted first issue, didn't I? Not such a bad deal then, maybe I should look again...

 

You are Dianne Abbott and I claim my prize for outing you.

 

Who the feck buys those magazine things? Mind, only Twelfthtyfour people need do it for profit at the price.

 

Bank security questions.

Just tried to buy something online, big-ish transaction so blocked. Fine. Not totally unexpected and I get they want to protect my/their money. Waited for the text telling me they'd blocked it. Nothing. Up against a next day delivery deadline so called them. Went through all the questions but they said the system told them they had to call me. Waited for a call back - right back to the start of the inane security questions when they did. And then ended up failing security because they asked the age of the additional cardholder at their next birthday. Could tell them my wife's DOB but no, they want her age in 9 months time. Couldn't work it out on the hoof and they heard her say it in the background so failed me.

It's not like I buy birthday cards with her age on the front. Terwats.

 

Had to call the credit card company recently and you have to type in the long number during the initial automated questions. When the nice lady spoke to me the first thing she asked? The long number. Not a chance I was repeating something I'd already given. It ended well enough.

 

Minor gripes here but...

Websites that wipe your email (username) if you enter your password wrong.

Websites that when you look at an item, when you press back it takes you to the top of the page again, and not to where the item you last looked at is.

 

Feel secure in the knowledge that although you struggle to remember your 900+ logins and passwords, any half decent hacker could get in within seconds unless of course you change all of your 36-digit passwords with capitals, numbers and special characters three times a day using different computers with different IP addresses.

 

Google Chrome and the way that it seems to be able to reinstall itself as part of an update to other programs.

 

Liverpool away

 

Didn't Mcafee or possibly Norton do that when it was a preloaded free version from Best Buy and using the PC was nigh on impossible because it kept bombarding you with 'Your Computer Is Under Threat' messages and all will be solved if you just paid for the full version.

Uninstalling it just wasn't an option, each time I tried it just kept coming back. Absolute mare as I recall.

 

Yep free software does need to pay for itself somehow and those antivirus programs are the worst for it.

 

I listened to Song of Achilles on audible and it was so noticeable the the narrator said "et" a lot whenever he discussed Patroklos and his hero dining with Chiron and others.

 

And we wonder why the best funded tennis association in the world is capable of producing champions only once every century and is behind countries such as Switzerland, Czech Republic and Croatia in long term success?

 

Same theory can be applied to the Premier League with regards to the England football team and English teams playing in the champions league.

 

Slightly different in that the structure of football clubs developing their own talent is decentralised, however it's weird that we don't develop as many good players given the budgets of those clubs

 

The tw@ts that use the word 'super' to emphasise something.

Super annoying.

 

Yes - generally Americans or Eton types......one of our VC Board members says it all the time, every single opportunity we have "..sounds super-exciting".

 

The same with people who post endless pictures of them out with their"great" friends. You mean friends then?

 

People who go on quiz shows knowing sod all about anything. And then say 'middle for diddle' when faced with a multiple choice. Feck off you chomping ******.

Edit. Why is crëtin not allowed?

 

My job. I quit last week. Now need to find a new job in the next 6 weeks.

 

What do you do ?
What's the wfcforums recruitment commision rate Mods ?