Worst smells

Dog farts.

I think it's the complete lack of warning as much as anything.

Jesus. They are eye-watering.

 

Decomposing rat under floor in kitchen.

 

Blocked drains. I opened blocked drains before and you could taste the smell. From how the nose and throat are linked together down that pipe, you could chew on a big lump of drain smell right there at the back of your throat.

Aren't smells made of little molecules of the thing you're smelling in any case? So if you smell dog fart you are actually inhaling little microbes of dog faeces that are floating around.

So that makes chewing on a drain smell quite possible I reckon.

 

There's a rat in your kitchen? What are you going to do?

 

The bu11shit coming out of Wenger's gob

 

Just out of interest - one of my best mates, a physicist, is physically sick when he smells this (butter) and cucumber...

 

Little children and their bottoms,post lunch.
My colleague's hair is a bit wiffy too. He is a stranger to shampoo.

 

luton

 

The smell of death is vile.

 

Whilst in a GCSE chemistry lesson, some genius dropped a pencil sharpener into a beaker of acid. I've no idea what either the sharpener or the acid was composed of, because i'm a simpleton, but we had to be evacuated and two classmates puked. The teacher bravely went back inside and eventually engineered some kind of methane explosion from a black bag to occupy us whilst waiting outside. Every chemical detail of this may be wrong because i'm a moron. Still the only interesting science lesson i ever had.

 

Following this little excursion, approx 3 weeks later the chem teacher attempted an experiment in one of those weird, confined, enclosed labs which you just stick your hands into. I opined that I hoped it was dangerous - not recognizing the implied suggestions of this for the teacher. He gave me two Saturday detentions and I missed a rare win against Portsmouth in '07. So **** you Mr Horrox.

 

The stink of Arsenal malcontent

 

Agreed.
My brother made the mistake of feeding his pug, cauliflower at the weekend.
The little sod jumped up on my lap, farted, looked at me in disgust as if I'd done it and jumped off again.

I will be giving it a swift kick later.*





* Note, this is in jest. No pugs will be harmed. I will be consuming a Jalfrezi and getting my own back though.

 

Saturday detentions!? Was that a thing?

 

Yep. 9 until 11 on a Saturday morning.

I suffered loads of that oppression. It was a regular date for me...

 

At a former school of mine, we had detention at 4:00pm on a Wednesday. I know someone who was there so often that he told his parents that basketball practice was on a Wednesday afternoon ..............

 

I was still the same when I was at WBGS in the late 80s/early 90s. My oldest son started WBGS last month and it seems the Satuday detention still exists.

 

At least at Hemel Grammar we had the cane .... this was always preferable to losing two hours drinking time

 

Held back a few years on the bounce then I take it!

 

Far from it, I was always top before I discovered women and booze .... The Railway pub was run by an ex copper who didn't giveashit, he'd always get a phone call if a raid was planned

 

The ex-copper isn't the same one that posts on here was it?

 

The alcohol eased pain away!

 

Ten minutes of hopping around, you'd get used to it

Actually by the fifth form, I'd get sent to deputy head Grant's office and the first thing he'd do is cadge a ciggie off me ... the mandatory three strokes for smoking never got administered.

 

This was 1975/6 so unless he's a centurion I really doubt it ... (but of course I'm sure he'd have turned a blind eye for financial reasons too )

 

This. Back in the very late 80's there was a rat problem due to the ar*e in the front flat. They got under our floor so I called Harrow Council for help. Guy turned up and dumped a load of poison down there. Great I thought.

One week later the smell was horrific. One ripped up floor and 7 dead rats later the smell began to go.

 

Ha! I remember Mr Horrox was a Watford fan himself so he would not have taken this punishment lightly. I used to discuss the effectiveness of Dave Bamber with him.

 

My brother-in-law has a labrador, and he said the worst farts the dog does is after he's eaten another dog's **** whilst out on a walk.

 

Considering I didn't look old for my age it's amazing how many pub's I could get served in aged 15/16 .... asked if I was eighteen the usual retort of "no I'm nineteen" often did the trick

From memory and in order of easiness .... the Railway (or was it actually called the Station, my memory's sh!t), the Swan (Tring roundabout), Two Brewers Chipperfield(?), Mayflower (my local), The Anchor (next to HHGS, in uniform and in the company of teachers "It's just a shandy sir ", Market, Wagon and Horses, The Venture Adeyfield .... the last three were a bit pot luck depending on who was serving. Got into Baily's once only to get chucked out after an hour.

I'd hate to be a kid nowadays

 

Clearing up litter with the caretaker , I forget his name. Then as you got older he let you go and smoke round the back of the sports hall whilst the younger lads did the chores.

81-88 was the period I did my 7 stretch .

 

Cat farts are way worse than dog farts.

It's like the cat's anus opened up an inter-dimensional portal directly to Hell.

 

About 10 years ago my wife drank a bottle of Baileys, when she threw up later on, the smell was utterly grim

 

You sure it was Bailey's and not Irisch "mist"?



NB. this product flopped in Germany where Mist translates to Manure