Things you hate III

Also funky email ooo messages.

I mean, I'm all for a bit of humour in them but in a professional work place, "soz, I'm off doing something interesting. If you need anything speak to one of my hoes" doesn't really feel massively appropriate.

 

Flies.

They're idiots. Fly in through a massive open door, then struggle to get out, banging into the small closed window right next to the massive open door. Idiots.

And they eat sh*t.

 

This too.

I hate when people say 'Nice to e-meet you'

 

Lloyds Bank giving me totally wrong information on the phone. Cash withdrawals abroad DON'T just cost £1.50 per transaction as I was advised. They forgot to tell me about the 2.99% fee on top. Luckily I double checked as it felt too cheap.

 

First time I've seen that. And I hate it.

 

Toaster manufacturers and bakers - why is the slot in a toaster always either not deep enough or not long enough for a normal slice of bread?

 

If you want to toast a baguette put it in a trouser press.

 

To stop the dumb masses jamming knives in to hook out their* toast.


* There, they’re

 

Haha! - this is incredible. I'm going to start doing this immediately.

 

Estate agents.

 

Aberdeen FC.

 

Recruitment agency workers

 

Or adjustable in width so that crumpets/ English muffins/ hot cross buns can be toasted without getting stuck.

Edit: Award for most English middle-class WFC Forums comment?

 

Dunno. Before I pass judgement - do you use a butter knife and a conserve spoon?

 

The Big Narstie Show.

Bloody awful.

 

Have to disagree here. Top show that doesn't take itself too seriously

 

Really? Thought it was going to be a lighthearted chat show with a bit of fun and a different angle.

Just turned out to be underhanded political messages and racial discrimination messages throughout.

Guess if that's the show your tuning in to then that's a show you'll like.

I turned it off almost as quickly as I turned off The Last Leg.

 

Yep. Absolute turd.

Watched it once and the whole premise seems to be an obese bloke barely able to speak, laughing at his own jokes.

 

Big Narstie is fantastic.

 

The moment you decide to release the fart "that could go either way" and it goes against you better judgement.

 

Another driving one........

You’ve pulled aside to let an oncoming car through but they can’t be bothered to actually lift a hand to thank you, oh no, that’s way too much effort. All you get is a slight lifting of a finger from the steering wheel.

Just me?

Probably.

 

You should probably show them your entire middle finger - just to show them how it should be done.

Another driving one - or, to be more precise, parking one...

In Australia it's illegal to park on the side of a road facing into oncoming traffic. Coming over here to find that it's common practice drove me nuts - especially when driving at night, when an extra set of headlights suddenly appears in front of me & makes me stand on the brakes.

 

Actually I *think* I read recently on one of those "Think you Know Your Highway Code with Pictures of VIP VPLs" things that it is technically illegal in the UK for the same reason.

 

Thongs may well be compulsory in Austrailia, I don’t know, but VPLs are commonplace over here m8.

 

At least a slight finger raise is something rather than nothing. Those who don't acknowledge you've waited for them tend to be elderly and/or deep in conversation with their passenger/s.

I tend to shout 'thanks' loudly as they pass me. They probably don't hear it but it makes me feel better!

 

Yeah, there is that but it still annoys me.

I usually do an obvious and sarcastic hand raise along with a thanks for the ones who show no thanks. They probably don’t realise though.

Edit: seeing my actions written down makes me consider that, perhaps, I’m actually a bit of a ****! Think I might stop doing it

 

Thongs are sandals in Oz. Read into that what you will

 

I suppose their soles must be used to all the chafing they receive.

 

Not at all! I'm sure in this hot weather some of those with their windows down will hear it. I think I might progress to a hand wave with a loud and sarcastic 'thanks, w anchor'....

 

This brings back memories of about 2 weeks ago!!! It did not go the right way.

 

Not compulsory, and not advisable. It's possible to be fined for not being in control of your car if caught driving in them after being involved in an accident. I always used to slip mine off and drive 'bareback'...

 

Now there’s an image