Covid-19. The Lighter Side..

The twitter account of the Prime Minister put this out there today.

https://twitter.com/10DowningStreet/status/1263761942424018944?s=20



Has he started a new version of 'The 12 Days Of Christmas'?

Perhaps he wants us to add further lines!

• FIIIIIIIIIVE golden Labradors
• 6 spaffed children
• 7 U-turns turning
• 8 Bullingdon Cumberbunds
• 9 litres in a Salmanazar of champagne
• 10 is on the door of Downing Street
• 11 is where popular Sunak lives
• 12 weeks a-shielding

 

Comedienne Janey Godley tells us what Nicola Sturgeon is thinking at her Coronavirus briefings.

 

Brilliant.

 

"Asking Johnson to sack Cummings is like asking Orville to sack Keith Harris"

 

The sign language man got the point across a bit too well.

 

From P O P B I T C H:

 

Expecting Cummings to go full Prince Andrew and say the reason he didn't need to stop at a service station on the 260 mile drive is because he hasn't been able to urinate since 2001.

 

The first official photographs from locals in Durham when Cummings was out and about are beginning to emerge.

They didn't look best pleased to see him!

 

Two from P O P B I T C H both NSFW:

Spoiler: Dominic Cummings & Kirsty Allsop

Spoiler: Cummings is a "big boy"

 

Imagine the explanations for the Barnard Castle daytrip that must have been rejected in the brainstorming session to eventually come up with 'I was just testing my eyesight'.

 

Somewhere there is a flip chart with the rejected ideas on it. Separation anxiety from medieval buildings? The Russians took over his car remotely and drove it there?

I wonder if it was 30 minutes late because of desperately trying to come up with it.

 

The bottom most paragraph, it cannot possibly be true can it?!

From the book 'English Proverbs And Proverbial Phrases: A Historical Dictionary' (1929)
and found via https://twitter.com/HaggardHawks/status/1264979700465700864?s=20

 

Saw a billy connely quote somewhere, apologies if it was here.

"If you get caught having a tommy tank, don't admit it, say you were counting your willies"

 

It’s funny you should mention it, but I’m driving to Barnard Castle now. Looks lovely.

 

Wish your wife a happy birthday and give your son a bluebell from me!

 

One upside to the lockdown is the increase in cycling. However you can't buy a new bike for love nor money. Lucky for me as I have a shed full of bikes retired from our tours that I hadn't got round to selling. Just sold one on ebay - started the bidding at £195, with a buy-it-now at £300. It just went for £375! How does that work?

 

Wait til the buyer claims not to have received it and forces a refund...

 

He's collecting it in person. Receipts provided both ways.

 

This is some quality work. Well done.

 

You push the pedals round with your feet presumably ?

 

Minimum 2 metres and a plastic screen at the checkout please.

 

Seriously, why would anyone pay £375 when there is a buy-it-now for £300?