Film And Tv Cliches And Things That Don’t Actually Happen In Real Life

Having watched a lot of film and TV recently, an increase from normal times matched only by my alcohol consumption, there is one thing I’ve noticed happen repeatedly that I’m pretty sure I’ve never actually seen happen in real life.

Picture the scene, it’s an interrogation, or perhaps a tense work place confrontation between a senior member of staff and a subordinate. Things get a little heated or tense, the senior person wants to get a point across and they also happen to wear glasses (in some cases only for this particular scene) .... they take their glasses off and chuck them on the table, this is normally accompanied by closing their eyes and pinching the top of the nose.

Now I wear glasses and I’ve honestly never done this, I take them off to clean them when they’re dirty, but otherwise I never take them off because everything will be blurry and unpleasant, I’ve certainly never taken them off and chucked them on the table during a meeting.

Anything else people have noticed with their increased box set intake?

 

The villain has the gun pointed at the hero, they’ve been trying to kill each other for two hours. The villain starts explaining an evil plan that the hero will be unable to stop because soon he/she will be dead.

Villain’s eyes widen, mouth opens slightly and they slump forward, revealing a secondary character who had previously been trapped/unconscious has shot them in the back. That or the villain is on top of the hero and is rugby tackled off of them by the third party.

I think this happened roughly 3000 times in the three latest Star Wars films.

 

Someone seemingly fails to jump between two buildings or over a chasm but as the camera lingers on the edge of the abyss a hand appears accompanied by a sharp music sting.

 

Yeah that happens a lot. One similar thing I can remember is the Terminator with Christian Bale in. Can’t remember the specifics but there is a scene early on and he is in a fight with a terminator, the terminator keeps chucking him about, rather than just killing him. That happens so much in films, rather than actually kill the person they decide to chuck them about a bit inevitably leading to an opportunity for them to be killed themselves.

 

The CSI, Silent Witness or Waking the Dead team always finds;
1/ One piece of material on an otherwise spotless floor, that has one use, has only been sold to one person in the last 3 months, who has one warehouse in the UK, 15 mins away
2/ A rare plant seed, that only grows in one location in SE England, where there happens to be an abandoned warehouse, 15 mins away.

A pretty young investigator always goes alone to follow up, after dark, in the rain, with a weak torch, and doesn't try the lights......

 

Person is knocked unconscious. Then regains consciousness and starts running about soon after.

In fact what most film characters do with injuries full stop. Most of us would be floored with a mildly sprained ankle.

 

Also noticed In two shows I’ve watched recently, if the main character is seemingly troubled, it’s normally because their wife and child have died, and in most cases they died in a car accident.

 

Yes, and the detective gathers all the suspects together so he/she can explain what exactly happened and then point the finger at the actual perpetrator in from of everyone!

Can you even imagine the police operating like that in real life?

 

Movie portrayals of couples who have been together for years but still have witty, snappy, funny conversations rather than just endlessly asking each other what they want for dinner.

 

No one calls the Police or the Police don’t call for back up. Elf n’stacey gone mad.

 

Any portrayal of people with mental health problems.

Usually this involves someone going bonkers being held down by a group of others until a calm doctor administers an injection that works instantly.

 

The police are always utterly thick, arrogant, and barking up completely the wrong tree. Whoever they decide to charge a third of the way in, is clearly innocent.

 

I hates bent coppaz!

 

Ah the magic injection, accompanied by a ‘shhh.... shhh’

Limmy used to do a good sketch character that would end with a magic-calm-down-sleepy-injection each week.

 

People putting the phone down without saying bye. I've never once just hung up on someone.

Also, wiggling the steering wheel whilst driving. If you did that in real life you'd be going from side to side across the road.

 

Anything ever said or done in Line of Duty. Undiluted cobblers

 

All I'm interested in is undiluted cobblers.

 

Why, after uninhibited sex sessions, do women in films usually have an outbreak of modesty and need to cover their boobs with the sheet?

 

Hitting people over the head just renders them unconscious for a little while. No concussion, no fractured skull, no blood, no hospitalisation.

Just a little rub of the head and wince and they're all better again.

 

People opening up a laptop and finding what they need straight away, sending files over the internet immediately from anywhere. No one sits there waiting whilst Windows hour glasses for 20 minutes.

 

NCIS.
Gibbs: what have you got for me Abs?
Abby: I'm just running a DNA check on these discarded underpants and have matched the skids to the military KEX database and have identified our dead marine in just 2.8 seconds.
Gibbs: great work Abs

 

I hope you can substantiate that allegation laddie...

 

That’s an excellent point only a very clever forum member would make.

 

Sounds the norm to me

 

I love the way any DNA or fingerprint matching software on TV flips through a load of faces that it displays on the screen.

It's like the computer has to look at them individually and go "not that one, not that one, not that one....ahhh that's him!".

Can you imagine how inefficient it would be to write any database search engine to do it that way?!

 

Ahhh shucks! Love you too!

 

So true!
And in the case of NCIS, it always ends with the same picture of a crew cut marine that they show every week. Poor guy

 

Dramas that show judges using gavels in English courtrooms while barristers shout ‘objection’.

 

I always enjoy a good "enhance grainy cctv" nonsense.

You never get karen from admin putting the report in the wrong pigeonhole so the dna test results have gone missing. Its always the 5 hour return schedule the plot requires.

Car pulls up at home. Character geta out. 10 seconds later someone pulls up to say hello or with news. Happens in Ozark a lot.

 

Always amused at films like die hard
In one scene that really made me laugh Willis swings on a rope from a bridge in an arc to a ship hitting the steel wall of the bridge and proceeds to fall into a solid deck, grunts and Carry's on.
I would assume a hit like that would mulch the organs let alone what sceletol damage it could do

 

Lesbians wearing stockings

 

Why do they so often have sex with their bra still on?