[SOLD] Abdoulaye Doucoure

Anybody who has a username named after Lil’Bow Wow is hard to believe. If you had a username that was properly British, like Mr. Smith, I would be far more inclined to believe you.

 

This is quite clearly a lie, but I'm going to cling to it like a crucifix.

 

Were you at an Esso garage by any chance?

 

They won the World Cup in '66 don't you know....

 

Now I don't claim to be 'ITK' (unlike some around here) but one of my cousins recently escaped its owner's aquarium and took up residence in Doucoure's back garden. Unbeknownst to Watford's 'midfield maestro' my cousin overhead a few very interesting conversations. The main points I can confirm for now:

• Doucoure speaks French on the phone most of the time.
• He's had offers from PSG, Everton, West Ham, Liverpool and more surprisingly, Charlton.
• His garden is ill-equipped to support the lifestyle of a young monotreme.
• Abdoulaye is holding out in the hope of an offer from the club he supported as a boy: Hibernian.

Again, I can only relay what my source told me, I am by no means ITK. Oh and make of it what you will obviously.

 

His 14 hours a day snooze would certainly not be sustainable with some giant kicking his balls around the place - and the probable lack of crustaceans would play a big part too. And if he's a Queensland platypus, he probably doesn't appreciate having a cold cloaca...

 

Heard the exact same thing reported on Spanish radio so could be some truth in it...

 

Leave this joke for Lizard. That's the only thing he contributes to this forum. Please don't take that away from him. #saveourlizard

 

PSG's signing of Paredes is now confirmed.

Though I'm surprised to see that they're also still being heavily linked today with Gueye - and Gueye has suspiciously been left out of Everton's entire squad for their match tonight vs Huddersfield.

Should Everton sell Gueye, any chance that they chuck a load of that cash at us for Doucoure, we accept, and Doucs is happy to go rejoin Sssnake?!

 

Snake wont be there after they lose 2-0 to huddersfield tonight, with both goals coming from set pieces. So thats not happening.

 

Has this **** not ****ed off to PSG for 50 mill yet ?

 

£26m accepted for Gueye.

Wonder if Ssssnake will go for Doucoure?

 

Everton premium is 2x normal asking price, so that'll be £100,000,000 please Marco

 

Exactly. I would agree that sliced bread remains better than rice.

 

Really wouldn't suprise me if this happens and he's a toffee by the end of the day tomorrow.

 

He's not leaving in this winter

 

If PSG buy Gueye and Paredes I guess that is the end of Doucoure’s dream move for the foreseeable future.

 

I think they come in for him for £40m if Gueye moves. And we will reject it out of hand.

It will almost certainly be a ‘Sky Sources’ type piece of news on the yellow ticker tape on SSN but no way does he go there IMO.

 

Ready to kiss the Everton badge after banging in a first half hat trick against us on the 9th

 

No mate in occupation road before the game..don’t know if it’s true. Just saying what he said....!

 

It may be word what he said to you face to face, but any info without the Esso seal of authenticity is worthless.

 

Is he/the club still faking his injury?

 

Yes. Expect to see him on a whistle stop tour of top club car parks tomorrow, with his agent as he flutters his eyelashes for a last minute move to one of the under pressure bosses of underperforming, sleeping giants,

 

The performances with the stand ins continue to show how massively above their level he is. We are lucky to have him.

 

Does no-one find it even a little coincidental that he sat out nearly all of the last transfer window whilst encouraging a transfer in the french press and claiming 'injury'....and now the same is happening in the January window?

 

I suppose it depends if you think the club made up his appendicitis and subsequent operation in the summer.

 

I demand to see a Doctor's certificate at the least....

 

No, not really. He was playing in this transfer window until he was injured against Palace in a clash. He was standing with his leg planted, someone tripped Townsend and his full weight went onto Doucoure's knee, causing it to buckle. He then limped through the rest of the game, constantly trying to stretch out that leg as though something was wrong. He hasn't played since and Gracia says he's got a knee injury. Case closed.

 

Chelsea apparently interested now......it's going to be a long day.

https://www.sportsmole.co.uk/footba...inks&utm_medium=SMLigue1&utm_campaign=twitter

 

Can’t not let him move to one of the big boys. He’s been brilliant for us and I think he deserves the chance to compete at the top level. Would mean our season limps to a 14th place conclusion though.

 

In the summer... right now I'd rather keep him and sell Pereyra

 

The person who "broke" that story is Darren Lewis from The Mirror who is generally hopeless.

The way the original story reads is Sarri has suddenly realised he needs midfielders after last night's result and Doucouré was left out of our squad so must be on the move... 2+2=5

 

I stopped reading after ‘according to the Daily Mirror...’