Watford 1-2 Manchester City - 04/12/2018

Unfortunately I'll generally be at home games so unless I do some kind of adjournment to the rookery first floor toilet to perform a Horace-Stuboy amalgamation, it may have to be reserved for away games!

I say unfortunately in terms of superstition, not having to attend home games!!!

 

I fear that if David Sawyer can demonstrate a correlation between your attendance & results, the Will of the Forum may require your absence.

A Sydney Carton style sacrifice.

 

Correct. Isn't it part of Guerdiola's stated football 'philosophy' that his teams must regain possession within 3 seconds of losing the ball?

 

Bring back 'Rothmans' Mazzarri!!

 

I think he watched pretty much the same game I did.

 

Foster - 9 - Kept us in the game on multiple occasions. Perhaps could have done better with the 1st goal but that's debatable.
Femenía - 6 - Couldn't cope with Sane's pace and skill. Put in a good shift but ultimately quite ineffective.
Kabasele - 7 - Was relatively solid. Won his fair share of headers. Defence more exposed on wings than centrally.
Cathcart - 7 - Strong in the tackle and did a decent job. At times, looked slightly awkward in possession.
Holebas - 6 - A hardworking display but was culpable of letting a few too many crosses into our box and not stopping the frequent switch of play from Mahrez to Sane.
Chalobah - 5 - Didn't impose himself on the game and very sloppy in position. Grew slightly as game progressed and was rightly substituted.
Doucouré - 5.5 - Worked his socks off as usual but mostly ineffective in possession. Hopefully that goal kick starts his season with better performances and goals.
Hughes - 5 - Despite having a slightly more central role he looked weak against a physically strong City side and not his normal composed self on the ball.
Pereyra - 5 - Anonymous for the majority of the game. Touch wasn't up to his usual standard. Showed good skill early on before curling wide.
Deeney - 6 - Can't fault his desire to win the ball back and effort. Had a hard time against Kompany. Had more joy after Kompnay went off. Should have scored in 1st half.
Success - 5.5 - Didn't use his strength and power enough to relieve pressure. Wasn't much of a threat. Think he gave ball away prior to second goal.

Subs
Deulofeu - 7.5 - Injected pace and directness to play. Won ball back and assisted for goal. The kind of wing play we expect from him.
Gray - 7 - Also added pace and showed some nice touches. Was an improvement on Success in terms of movement and work rate.
Quina - 7.5 - Fine display considering his lack of experience. Was composed on the ball and gave us more influence in the middle of the park. Lost possession once or twice.

 

We'd have the problem of having Doucoure, Capoue and Hughes fighting for 2 mid spots and Deulofeu out wide. I'd drop Doucoure and put Hughes with Capoue centrally. Quina looked capable playing out wide so give him a game there and put Hughes in a position where he's actually effective in.

 

Three question I have from last night:

Which one of you lot was taking a picture of the side of the empty Citeh team coach? Unless you did the graphics you are a sad, sad man.

Before the game, who was the weirdo at the urinal with his maroon jogging bottoms pulled right down to his ankles with his spotty bare backside on display? Things like this make me want to not be associated with Watford fans.

Why hasn’t Quina got a photo when the team is announced? Is Quina just a registered alias we use to play a ‘ringer’?

How many Watford fans were there just to see Vince Company? As soon as he went off so did about 1/4 of the SEJ stand.

 

Elton?

 

At half time I’d have liked it if the managers had agreed to ‘mix up the teams a bit’, just to make the second half more interesting.

 

It was in his stand so quite possibly.

 

Thats 4 questions.

 

What has that got to do with my point? Success blasting one over the bar or Gray missing his chance didn’t trouble Schmeichel, but what I said was are creating chances and not taking them?

 

You’re not really helping

 

Presumably simmos is short for simpleton. Why on earth would I leave the match when we are one goal behind?

 

But how can it be a chance when you've got an idiot with little talent at the end of the move? That's the elephant in the room. In fact an elephant would probably do better.

 

I was happy to have the chance to disapprove the stupid kind of superstition that permeates this forum sometimes.


It should be quite easy to prove no link between Horace’s attendance and the performance of Watford. I admit I started this knowing I would almost certainly upset RookeryDad and Horace - but I’m willing to do that for the truth.


Thanks to Horace for letting me grill him about his attendance and habits during games. I realised the best way to track it was by looking at goals scored and conceded. This was better than results as it allowed me track Horace’s in game activities.


First of all I needed a baseline. Having spoken to Horace about when he started attending games at Vicarage Road I was able to work out that on average in home game we scored 1.55 goals, and let in 1.26 goals. I’ll assume the average game will last 95 minutes, so this means every minute our baseline is to score 0.16 goals, but to let in 0.13.


Next I had to split out the times Horace wasn’t not watching the game. This includes complete no shows and also when he is at the game but steps away from the pitch.


Some of the notable reasons include:

- In November 2015 Horace missed the home game against Man Utd because he was in hospital having a tattoo of Jokanovic removed from his chest

- In January 2012 Horace missed multiple minutes of game time due to a heavy drought of diarrhea

- In May 2013 Horace missed the last 20 minutes of the play off semi-final with Leicester because he wanted to complete a level on Angry Birds. He didn’t complete it.


The following chart it relatively clear, when Horace is not present we score on average 0.05 goals per minute – compare to just over 0.01 goals per minute when he is.

This is compounded again with the goals let in. Simply put, we do better when Horace isn’t watching.



It’s possible this all just coincidence so I did some statistical checking, here are the results…




I think it’s pretty clear. To be fair it’s a miracle we got promoted whilst Horace supported us.


I think we need to keep Horace away. Or at least make sure he leaves his seat for 1/3 of any game.


If Horace is willing to be selfless we can win the league

 

Just to point out - the numbers above are for every ten minutes - not every minute as I stated. My mistake.

Obviously everything else i true and correct.

 

It may not have been the centre circle but it wasn't edge of the box either. I thought we did ok considering the complete gulf in class and didn't feel we paid them too much respect. I thought we respected the fact if we weren't compact we would get a mullering. However we play against them, the chances are we will get mullered

 

I was, really, just about to say.

 

The legal term is, I believe, guilty.

 

David. I'm pretty certain that we are 27% more likely to win when Charlie Stayt is on BBC breakfast on the previous day. Could you possibly spend a quick 15 mins just proving or disproving this please. Thanks. TuT.

 

Which shift is Charlie doing these days?

It used to be the second half of the week so, for a Prem team, he was always on the day before the match (on the Saturday).

Actually, I knew him as his lad played footie with mine.

The hair is extraordinary. It remains in place even during horizontal sleet storms.

 

Any relation to Keith Andrews?

 

Wow, quite the damning evidence. I am missing Cardiff too due to matters of a London Christmas pub crawl so we can see if that stacks up on top!

Though I'm still not entirely sure of the relevance of the rectal probing during questioning for this data, which seemed more than a little unnecessary.

 

Andrews looks like he is wearing a wig back to front.

 

Hopefully giving MK a wide berth on the way back.

 

Seems a decent guy and great broadcaster unlike the rest of the unbearable immature ego junkies on the show.
The hair is bizarre. I was only thinking that this morning.

 

Jar

Harsh. The full backs were very good, considering who they were up against, and the central defenders were brilliant. Foster was beyond brilliant. The midfield was overrun, and Pereyra disappeared after half time as usual, but Deeney's two chances looked more difficult on TV than when I saw them live

 

Who thought we would see City timewasting and bringing on a central defender for their striker? We were outplayed as expected, but the result was better than we had hoped

 

That is Janmaat's wig.

 

And certs must stand for you being certifiable. Been called a lot worse than simpleton so quite happy you keep to your theory.

I have read on many match threads when you have boasted about leaving early. I think the excessive consumption of alcohol you claim to enjoy is starting to take affect your memory.

 

You're completely and utterly deranged. Never in my life have I left when we've been one goal behind. I have left at 0-0 though, but that was warranted.

Anyway let's cut the crap, if you want to meet up and throw hands, just say the time and place (it can't be before everton though as I'm in germany).

 

Oliver Grove, January 12th, 2.30 pm.

 

Why are you in Germany? There's a game on you clown.