Omegle

I have a weird one coming on now. I may well have one of you lot on this one... He's playing along perfectly.

 

Warning, you're about to read random weird crap.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hello mate, sort code and account number please to procede
Stranger: you stupi
Stranger: d
You: look Stranger i dunno who you are, but you've left me 5 times now
Stranger: cus i had to go to the bathroom duh
You: you use the toilet?
Stranger: no floor
You: im interested now
You: was it a number 1 or 2?
Stranger: both
You: any blood involved?
Stranger: some but less then normal
You: how many sheets of bog roll were used?
Stranger: 3 unless its tuesday then four
You: fantastic
You: that's really good of you dude
You: really eco friendly
Stranger: ya i try and do my part
You: do you recycle your urine after a big night of drinking?
Stranger: ya i leave it for my dog to drink
You: you have a dog?
Stranger: yes is that strange
You: no, it's just i never knew
You: why do you have a dog?
Stranger: to clean up my urine
You: get a cat!
Stranger: i do what do you think cleans the crap
You: the hamster?
Stranger: gives the cat exercise
You: ah fair point
You: hows the missus?
Stranger: well she should be cosy in the coffin
You: Yea im sorry about that man, was an accident tho
You: i didn't mean to run her over
Stranger: hey its all good i shouldnt of pushed her of the roof
You: mate we should dig her up
You: be jokes
You: im a massive fan of necrophilia
Stranger: hey me too sounds like w
Stranger: a good time
You: yea mate
You: few beers while we're at it too
You: wheres she buried again?
Stranger: well i couldnt afford the cemetary so i threw her in a dumpster
You: ah ****
You: maybe me and you could hide in the same dumpster and they'll take us to where she went?
You: 2s up on her?
You: you can have sloppy seconds
Stranger: sounds like a plan
You: wheres the dumpster you threw her in?
Stranger: behind the elementry school
Stranger: shouldnt be hard to find
You: may be a few little brats though
You: kidnap a few?
Stranger: up to you
You: we're in this together
You: its a team effort to 2s up on your missuses corpse
You: we need a joint decision soldier
Stranger: okay lets do it
Stranger: im down if your down
You: im down on it bro
You: what date is good for you?
Stranger: whenever
Stranger: except tuesday
Stranger: taking my ex to the zoo
You: ahh good man
You: feeding the lions are we?
Stranger: you bet its a nice show
You: perhaps we can meet there?
You: i could bring the mother in law?
Stranger: yes sounds good
You: swee
You: shall we say 11?
Stranger: how bout 11:05
You: **** can't do then
You: is 11:07 ok?
Stranger: im not sure
You: meet you half way? 11:06
Stranger: deal
You: sweet see you there
Stranger: we will need a code to regonise each other
You: ah top planning
Stranger: i sugest jumping whales sing while playing the tuba in front of miss hermans mother
You: fantastic plan
You: like it
You: reckon we need code names too?
Stranger: great its settled
Stranger: yes
You: i'll be Rubber Duck
Stranger: i will be broken flashlight
You: like it
You: that's sorted
You: next subject is items of clothing?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: hmm i will wear cargo shorts with a tropical button up shirt and sandles. i will also have dark purple sunglasses and crown
You: right
You: i'll go for the Hawaiian grass skirt, with dungarees, no shirt, and a colander on my head
You: o and Ugg boots
Stranger: geinus
Stranger: we will need a get away vehicle
You: never thought of that
You: u have a fantastic brain Broken Flashlight
You: errr
You: Well, we could get a tricycle?
Stranger: perfect rebber duck
Stranger: rubber duck my bad
You: you are bad, but that's why i like you
Stranger: dont flatter me
You: i wouldn't flatten you broken flashlight - we're partners
Stranger: good point
Stranger: well what do we do if were caught
You: caught by whole here?
You: police? zoo guard?
You: the SAS?
Stranger: our enemies?
You: well
You: we could fight our way out?
Stranger: yes then we go back to our secret hide out wich is where
You: Misses Hermans?
Stranger: yes of course
You: thats that sorted
Stranger: yes
Stranger: well i see it is time for me to depart i will see you at 11:06
You: deal take care buddy, keep this a secret, don't want to be caught
Stranger: right good luck rubber duck
You: you too Broken Flashlight
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

You: Heyyy
Stranger: heyyy
You: So was I worth waiting for?
Stranger: yeeee ?
You: male or female?
Stranger: male u?
You: female
Stranger:
Stranger: how old are yo
You: 17 u
Stranger: 18
Stranger: perfectt
You: tut tut
Stranger: haha
Stranger: whats up ?
You: I think im a lesbian can you convert me?
Stranger: i have a friend who is lesbian
You: i dont want to be though and cant help it :s
Stranger: hmm i think shes the same actually
Stranger: shud i give u her msn and u guys talk?
Stranger: or u want mine? i dont mind
You: easy tiger
You: i dont jump into bed with anyone btw
You: especially not blokes atm
Stranger: yeye corse not
Stranger: i wont be to hard on u but lets chat on msn?
Stranger: so we can speak longer
You: i dont have msn
Stranger: and ill convert u
Stranger: what do u use
You: facebook
You: only atm
Stranger: can u get msn?
You: why not chat on here?
Stranger: coz we can press disconnect then good bye lol but somewhere else we can speak atleast
You: you just want to see my 32dd's on webcam you cheeky boy
Stranger: You serious?
You: Well thats what the label on my bra says
Stranger: haha ye baby
You: Im actually a 44 year old man called Gerald
Stranger: well im actually a 16 year old girl
Stranger: lol
You: yeah of course i actually am though
Stranger: a 44 year old man?
You: yes trying to find love without spending money on a woman to start with
Stranger: are you gay
You: no hence why i am trying to find a women
Stranger: ohh
Stranger: i really am a 16 year old girl though
You: why you like me? even though im 44 and struggling downstairs?
Stranger: now that uve said that .. :S
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

Cude = actually rofl, havent laughed this much for ages it is hurting me!!

 

This sounds like my kind of challenge.

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello there
You: My cat just died
Stranger: im sorry
You: I just witnessed it
You: was horrible
Stranger: thats sad... how?
You: well i had the hammer in my hand, and i hit it repeatedly and battered the **** out of it
Stranger: lmao, you had me going
Stranger: hahaha

OWNED.

 

Family Guy, I love you.

You: did you see the news today?
Stranger: no, why? was it.... another earthquake?
You: no, there was a really good piece though.. a certain ornathalogial piece...
Stranger: hmmm interesting
You: BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRDS THE WORD I SAID A BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRDS THE WORD
Stranger: i like birds
You: DON'T YOU KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD?
Stranger: there so..... feathery
You: WELL I'M GONNA TELL YOU ABOUT THE BIRD
Stranger: do tell
Stranger: sounds interesting
You: BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRDS THE WORD
You: SUUUUUUURFFFFIIIIIINNNNGGGG

 

cudes had me in stitches, good dog rubber duck.

it does seem like the perfect stalking network for paedos though.

 

You: your really boring
Stranger: u 2
Stranger: what are you
Stranger: you ****ing person
Stranger: who thinks is a famous person
Stranger: you are really cheap
You: you don't make sense you mug
Stranger: so do you
Stranger: bug
You: do you know suggs
Stranger: I know socks
You: he just changed my locks
Stranger: why
Stranger: he was far like 2 blocks
You: don't know but he also sells clocks
Stranger: oh that really sucks

 

Definately Hornmeister, 100%.

 

I thought that too :]]

 

:biggrin:

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: HEY!
You: wassssssssuuuuuupppppppp
Stranger:
Stranger: nothing, you?
You: im cool
Stranger: are you /
You: you kno
Stranger: ?*
You: im just chilling, killing
Stranger: oh
You: do you know cude?
Stranger: jno
Stranger: no*
You: warehouse?
Stranger: no
Stranger: what are you talking about, woman?
You: no, what about smithy or optimistic?
Stranger: NO
You: whats your game? what are you after then?
Stranger: WHAT
Stranger: ARE Y
Stranger: TAL
Stranger: FJSDFJSDJFDS
Stranger: YOU'RE DUMB
Your conversational partner has disconnected

 

I'm going to not post for a while. I have a p*ssed of yank.

Stranger: How's it feel to be umber two to the United States?
You: I'm not from Canada?
Stranger: you one of them brits
You: what you mean 'one of them brits'?
Stranger: lol USA > ALL OTHER COUNTRIES
You: I see....
You: So you're a yank
Stranger: bloody right
Stranger: i lynched so many tax collectors
You: I bet I could kick your ******** at Call Of Duty Modern Warfare 2
Stranger: yeah?!
Stranger: lets go
Stranger: gamertag please
Stranger: mines EvAUNit09

PS. That ******* means the bum hole word.

 

gowwaan cude. If you lose you let the country down.

 

Alot of mine seem to go:

Stranger: Male/female?
You: male
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

Ha, same as.

 

Say your female sometimes and have some fun then

 

You: i like turtles!
Stranger: coolio
Stranger: i like penguins
You: penguins are cool, im not gonna lie...
You: what is your second favourite animal
Stranger: giraffes have long necks
You: that is true, giraffes do have long necks
Stranger: which leaves me to beleive they are over compensating for something
You: i;ve honestly never thought about that before
You: you are a visionary
You: like ghandi
Stranger: yeah i get that a lot
Stranger: well.. not really
You: no?
You: do you resemble ghandi?
Stranger: not at all
You: oh, thats disapointing cos im a horny girl looking to set up web cam with a ghandi look-a-like
Stranger: good for you
Stranger: start looking somewhere else
You: so my ghandi fetish isn't going to be fulfilled with you?
Stranger: alas, no
You: alas indeed
You: well im pretty sure that this convo has run it's course
You: good bye, i will continue my ghandi fetish search elsewhere
Stranger: k bai

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

It's funny how many idiots will believe you're someone famous.

 

Bird sending me pictures of her boobies..

 

This was my first convo on it....

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!


Stranger: ****

Stranger: what r u doing?


Stranger: damn it


Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

share the love!

 

Well I played until 4am, and had to get up for work at 6. I'm f**king shattered. He was shyte :]]

 

Issues of Today

I asked 40 users: "What do you think we should legalise?:

marijuana - 20

my marriage - 1

having sex everyday - 1 (I questioned that: apparently the way he does it is)

everything - 2

prostitution - 3

alcohol in public - 1

guns (but not bullets?!?!) - 1

Charizards?!?!?! - 1

drinking at 16 - 2

drinking at 18 - 1

abortion - 1

gay marriage - 1

rape - 1

sodomy of the unwilling - 1

bonking class? - 1

murder - 2

 

woooo i got namedropped!

haha brilliant!

im surprised there wasnt more for murder, maybe people are not as ****** up as we think?

 

or just really really high!

 

Had a fair few stoners myself last night. They're funny as L*t*n.

 

hehe any idea how long omeagle has been running for?

 

At least a year - I've been on it before, but it gets boring after a while, it's mainly 30yos in their parents basement looking for girls.

 

Some of that stuff is comedy gold. I have to stop reading it at work as I keep laughing out loud!

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hello asl?
You: 15/M/Uk
and he disconnects, this happened about 20 times, dirty pervs

Stranger:Hello
You: Hey, asl?
Stranger: 99/M/Mars, you?
You: 15/M/Watford
Stranger: Isnt that the ****** football team that was in the premier league?
You: haah yes
Stranger: Errr your ****,
You: Thanks , but if you live on Mars how do you know about us?
Stranger: Your kit is so bright we can see it from here

LOL

 

what does it mean when someone writes 'sta'?